Saturday, August 6, 2011

Big Brother After Dark 8-2-11

My DVR is chock full of Big Brother After Dark episodes.  I wish I were able to watch everything all the time, but I'm not.

Last night I speed-watched last Tuesday's episode, which featured the Trashy Wedding of Brendon and Rachel. After everything that happened in the Big Brother house yesterday, this episode was an interesting one.  I wasn't near a computer, but here are the memories that stand out.

1.  This whole thing was a big fucking deal.  It wasn't just the wedding ceremony on Tuesday night.  They started  making the bride and groom outfits last week, and even had a bachelor/bachelorette party on Sunday night.  (I think.)  So those of us who watch the feeds and catch BBAD here and there have been hearing about the wedding forever.

2.  Every houseguest got in on it.  Production had them start it up at 10:30 PM, so it was a scheduled event at that point.

3.  All of the women wore long gowns that they had brought with them.  All the gowns were strapless except Shelly's which was one-shouldered.  Shelly slicked back her hair in a ponytail and looked about 187% better than usual.  That hair is fried and pulling it back modernized Shelly's whole presentation.

4.  Rachel spent time putting on false eyelashes with a shiny silver stripe of eyeliner.  It was scary up close but looked great from afar.  I'm guessing she put on makeup like that every night when she worked in Vegas.

5.  Dani was the 'bubble girl', wandering around the backyard before and during the ceremony with a huge star-shaped bubble blower.  I guess BB got that for them.  It was a nice touch, but note now that Dani and Rachel are not speaking, and even had what sounded like a physical altercation yesterday.  Dani told the DR that if Rachel touches her again, she is going to back hand her. (God I hope I'm on the feeds if when that happens.)

6.  Kalia helped Rachel get dressed for the ceremony, pinning her into her garbage bag dress.  You will also note that relations between Kalia and Rachel are at an all time low, since Kalia nominated Rachel who has since gone nuts.

7.  Jeff and Jordan were the best man and maid-of-honor, respectively.  Jeff looked dapper wearing a blue sport coat that Brendon brought in the house, as well as a cool black fedora.   I don't know whose hat that was, but it looked good on Big Jeff.

8.  The wedding party marched and carried flowers.  Plastic flowers, but they were colorful nosegays.

9.  Adam was wearing his Cruddy the Elf costume and served as ring bearer.  He carred their rings on a silvery pillow that I guess came from one of the couches or chairs in the house.  He performed his elf routine as he walked down the aisle and at Brendon's urging turned to the camera and made a funny face.

10.  They commented how weird it was to have silence---Big Brother didn't clear them to use any music.  They were allowed to sing For He's a Jolly Good Fellow, which they tried to sing afterwards.  That is such a weird song, that nobody can deny.  Times really have changed.

11.  Here's the thing---the key takeaway for you the reader:   THIS WASN'T ON THE CBS SHOW!!  They did all of this to maximize camera time---and it wasn't even mentioned in prime time.

12.   ha ha ha ha ah ahah  ha ha ha ha ha

13.  Really, I had douche chills the whole time I watched the ceremony.  It was so ridiculous to spend so much time on that asinine wedding.  I know they generally have nothing else to do, but still...

14.  Big Brother gave them a bottle of champagne that Brendon wasn't allowed to drink, since he was a Have Not.  Big Jeff begged to start drinking before the ceremony.  Can you blame him?

15.  Lawon was the preacher, and acted like one of the TV preachers that you see.  It was as if Lawon was talking his usual bullshit, but in a loud sermon-style.  They all laughed at first, but Rachel ultimately had to interrupt him to move it along.  Shelly tried to prod him, too.

16.  I think Lawon thinks that we all think he is a star.  I don't think much of Lawon, and I certainly don't think he is a star.

17.  After being such a huge bitch about all of this, I must commend Shelly for her work on the costumes.  She did wonders with those trashbags and foil.  Shelly made it happen.

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