Sunday, August 8, 2010

Morning Vomit

I just returned from my monthly jaunt at Costco and am watching a flashback that started a few hours ago.  (I think I missed some drama while I was shopping and need to catch up.)

(PS They are really cutting back on the free samples at Costco--usually I can make a meal out of them.  Today only grilled chicken-apple sausage, garlic bread, and marcona almonds.)

OK.  So Rachel and Brendon are on the hammock in the backyard spewing hate.  I have to say I much prefer to listen to this then them cooing at each other, so I will enjoy their antics for the last few days they are both here.

A few conversational highlights:

*  Rachel says she offered Britney the $5,000 to use the POV on her, and Britney refused.  Rachel:  Let's see, we're in an alliance with you, I offer you $5,000, and you say no!"  Rachel knows she doesn't want to become a target.

Brendon:  She's a fucking bitch---how can you say you would ever hang out with her?  She's fucking spoiled, and she's a bitch!  At least Kristin was relatively straightforward about what she did.

*  Brendon thinks Kathy will do whatever they say.  Brendon:  Dance Kathy!  Rachel imitates Kathy's accent saying she's a sheriff and never been on a plane.

* Rachel pretends to be Julie Chen interviewing her this Thursday night---"Rachel, you were HOH last week and now you are here---what happened?"  (Ha ha that is exactly what Julie will say!)  Rachel gives her answer, about how she had to fight every week to win, everyone in the house hates her,  blah blah blah. 

Brendon:  Also Julie, the competitions were all made for midgets! 

*  They wonder how Ragan and Matt can be such good friends with Kathy after mocking her mercilessly weeks ago.  Rachel is particularly offended by Ragan  preparing Kathy's slop.

Rachel: Oh, you really made slop for her Ragan?  Could you please be a little more pathetic and gross?

*  Brendon:   There are some real assholes in this house.  But Lane, Hayden and Enzo seem like really nice guys that I could hang with. 

Brendon:  But Lane is fucking blinded by the pounani (Yes, he said that.) and Britney has him wrapped around her fucking finger.

Rachel:  It's funny--she acts so different when the guys aren't around.  As soon as she's alone with me, all she does is talk shit about people and be mean.   But around them she says "Oh, do ya'll want to play pool?"  I guess I shouldn't complain...they got me!

Brendon:  Well, it's not like the good players win.  Matt is not a good player.  These competitions are for people with small feet and shorter...it's not fucking rocket science.  It's just basic physics. 

Rachel: The funny thing is, what kind of drama is there going to be in this house now that I'm gone?  Let's face it, all of the drama so far has been revolved  around me, so when I'm gone what will there be?  Bitchy Ragan walking around all the time?

Brendon:  Yeah.  Who wants to see a bitchy gay guy on his period all the time?  24/7?

Rachel:  And he's not even a hot gay guy.  He's not even a cool gay guy, or a fun, fabulous gay guy.

Brendon:  I swear that he is just like an old bitter woman in menopause.  The craziest part is when he was crying, who was there for him..me?  (yes, that is true, on more than one occasion)

Apparently Ragan told Rachel he wouldn't talk to her for three days, and she mimics this.

Brendon: Why don't they have an HOH contest that involves swimming?  That would be nice.

Rachel:  What are they going to do---build a lap pool?

Brendon:  Well, we could dive in a pool for stuff at the bottom...watch fucking Matt, Ragan and Britney try to do that!

Rachel wishes she had backdoored Matt last week.

Brendon:  He's a little troll!  He's not a good player, all he does is gossip.  Running to stir shit up.

Rachel:  And they think they are so funny with their little romance.  A:  Neither of you are attractive, B: Nobody wants to see that because neither one of you is attractive, and C:  Neither one of you are doing anything except touching each other like little boys, and that's gross!

(!!)

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