Thursday, August 27, 2009

Kevin Craves Hamburger Helper?

and we know this as Natalie tells him he's going to get it in his HOH room.

Jeff: Hamburger Helper??

Kevin doesn't answer. He's in the Zone and doesn't want to count his macaroni before it happens.

I think Jeff is kind of abandoning Jordan already. He knows one of them will at least be on the block next Thursday, but may think Michelle will be next to leave.

Kevin is inches away from being crowned HOH.

Jordan Wiped Out

and she rested on her stomach for a second before laughing and getting up to continue.

Jeff: You pop a boob?

No, she laughs. She got the 'gummy bear kind' that don't pop, I guess.

It feels like election night and no one wants to state the obvious.

I'll do it---Kevin wins. He is a good 15 minutes away from completion, but unless he has a hard attack or something Michelle can't beat him. He is jogging the course and never looks tentative or careful.

Michelle just fell again and is hurting. Jeff encouranges everyone to keep going because they don't know what last place holds in store for them. (I think he is reminding Jordan of that, although it looks like she is safely in third place.)

Natalie keeps losing her cup and Jeff asks her why she keeps launching it. Surely he sees that she is kind of throwing it at this point.

I don't see Kevin's marshmallow yet, but it can't be far away. Natalie estimates 10 minutes before he can win and see his boyfriend.

Maybe the loser has to drink that shit in the bowls. It looks nasty. To Big Brother's credit, the contest wasn't sponsored by the Swiss Miss or anything. How funny would that be, though, if that Heidi-looking whore was in there chilling with Jeff during the competition.

Jordan would lose for sure.

Jeff Smarts Off

and asks the crowd if they want to have some S'mores tonight.

Jeff has to pee, and has been complaining about it for awhile. He might be drinking alone tonight, as the other HG all look miserable and are going to be very sore from all the falling. Even without falling, it is still a hard challenge due to the slippery surfaces.

Lots of core work on this one. Jordan has been very absent on the feeds, with virtually no closeups. Natlie is moving like Fred Sanford.

She needs Elizabeth to come and get her.
PS: Natalie just dropped her silver cup in the big vat of hot chocolate. Kevin and Jeff both tell her to get it, but she says she can't and we get FISH.

It's Not Even Close

as you can see. There is Natalie in the top right corner, and Jordan who isn't pictured has more hot chocolate than she does, but less than Michelle.

A few minutes ago Natalie said Jordan was gaining on second place, and I thought Michelle was going to shit. She doesn't want another week of slop, but she needn't worry.

Michelle has fallen a few times and Jeff encourages her. Jordan tells her that her crack is showing and she needs to pull up her pants.
I know Jeff thinks he has a deal with Natalie and Kevin for safety this week, but even he can't be that stupid. His goose is cooked. And contrary to what he told Julie Chen, he can't get 'backdoored' this week. Unless Kevin wants to, that is. (ha ha) All HG will play for the Veto, eliminating the opportunity for Nakomis' old Six Finger Technique.
FISH now while hair and makeup visits the set.

Kevin Still Leads

and the girls remind him that he will see a picture of his husband if he wins. I don't know if Kevin is legally married, but it sure seems like he is. You can see from the photo above how far ahead of Michelle Kevin's yellow bowl is. And Michelle is by far the 2nd here--the other two girls aren't anywhere near her hot chocolate level.

Natalie and Jordan think that if they finish last, they will get a 'special surprise' that is something like being a Have Not.

It occurs to me that Jeff and Kevin are the only guys left. Well, Jeff, and Kevin.

And the fact that Kevin has such a large lead probably doesn't motivate Natalie much. Why should it? He'll get rid of Jeff for her...

Every now and then there is a camera shot of Jeff, looking frustrated. If he looks that way, imagine how frustrated he feels?

Natalie is Just Fucking Around Now

as she loses her cup and jokes around about finding it. She is barely walking and looks like she's making a mockery of the whole thing.

I really think that her strategy now is to be the Loser. She didn't come in the house thinking that, but in order to save face and play out her current fortunes she needs to be the Loser.

No one is nominated that many times without leaving is someone people feel threatened by. I predict when Natalie goes home and sees the tapes, she will get douchechills that last for years when seeing Jessie on camera. The Coup d'Etat was the best thing that ever happened for her--getting that fucktard out of there.

Kevin still has a great lead, and is running without fear of slipping, apparently. Jeff is encouraging everyone (he's vulnerable now) and Jordan promises she won't give up. She looks better than Natalie, however, who is moving like my 86 year old grandma.

And' We're Back

And you can see Kevin's bowl there on the bottom right---it is very full next to Michelle's.
Michelle looks pretty strong. She's been working out a lot every day and it's helping her now.
Jordan just fell or vomited--I can't tell but it sounded like either.
Jeff is encouraging everyone and tells Kevin he's tearing it up. Jordan congratulates him, too, but there's a long way to go.
Jordan asks Jeff if she can take off her shoes and Jeff says no. Nataie is moving really slow--almost walking, and seems unsteady. I think she may have hurt herself falling because she moves in a damaged type of way.
Here comes more falling chocolate.


Russell, We Never Know You

and I don't think we did. He is a hot mess, that Russell. From watching the feeds everybody expected the worst from him, right up until the final hour.

I'm impressed. And I guess he won't kill Jeff next weekend when Jeff sees him in the Jury House.

Because I think Natalie is due....did you see that competition in the back yard?

It's the one Zach won in BB8--endurance is the key and cardio strength and balance.

Natalie: Check, check, and check.

But we'll see. I'll try to stay up and watch.

Countdown to Broadcast

And we have TRIVIA now, indicating that we will have sporadic feeds at best until the show is over.

At 6:00 PM EST, A&E is rerunning the episode of Cold Case Files from 2005 that deals with Chima's horrid ordeal with The Bathtub Killer. Supposedly they show a picture of her face after the beating and she is interviewed as well.

The episode is called Deja Vu and airs in less than an hour. I'm taping it, because I'm curious. I've already read all about it but want to see it, anyway.

Chima gave a new interview for People where she still says that leaving the show was her idea. This version sounds a little more plausible, but if she wanted to go so badly why wasn't she packed? She was very anal about her belongings, so I can't see her relishing the idea of the other HG packing everything up.

I remember when she verbally bitch slapped Natalie for borrowing one of her tops without asking--it was in her bag, which made her even angrier about it. And don't even bring up Natalie using her lotion......Chima opened up a can on Natalie about that.

You know, a can of WhoopAss. Can't you just see her picture on the label?


I just watched Cold Case Files--Chima's part consumes the first half hour and she appears on camera a number of times. We also see her post-rape pictures with the left side of her face demolished a number of times.

Wow. My heart really goes out to her. I felt like I was watching a friend she was so familiar. She looked beautiful and was extremely articulate.

I might have a nightmare about the case tonight.

Jordan Prepares

for the Live Show.
Russell is doing a little preparation of his own, and just grabbed Kevin and Natlie for a frantic whispering session about what he thinks is going to happen in the house.
As best I can tell, he wasn't trying to save himself, but was trying to give his Two Cents on future competitions. He repeated several times that Michelle told him how dumb Jordan and Jeff are and that the competitions won't be physical anymore and that Jeff is always the first one out when questions are involved.
I don't know if this is true, but Russell said it. Could it be that Michelle forgot that Jordan beat her in a head-to-head POV battle where numbers were involved in the tiebreak?
Natalie ran and told Jordan about it, who barely blinked an eyelash as she continued to put on her face.
Jordan: Where is he getting that I'm so dumb?
Natalie is trying to give Michelle another black eye in the house. Jeff is making tacos or some such tasty snack with Michelle and Kevin in the kitchen. I haven't seen Jordan eat since Russell repeatedly called her a Fattie yesterday, but I'm sure she has. I just haven't seen it.
Three hours to go in the BB house---they still need to clean the house and some of them need to get ready. Lydia always got ready very early and did her makeup with hours to spare.
Natalie plans to shower and thinks it will take her about 32 minutes from start to finish.

Weighty Topics

are being discussed by everybody but Russell, who is packing his stuff in the Splash Room.

Jordan loved the MTV show Newlyweds and wishes Nick and Jessica would get back together. Jeff thinks Jessica was so hot and Jordan recounts an entire scene from the show.

Natalie mentions the rumor of Jessica cheating with Johnny Knoxville to split them up and we get WBRB.

Now they discuss Laguna Beach and The Hills. Natalie wants to be on the Hills and said she would do anything to be on the cast. Kevin tells her she has to be rich first and Natalie doesn't seem to get it---she seems to have a warped self-image.

Natalie discusses Doug (Reinhardt?) and says he has his own plane and talks about all the trips that the cast takes to Vegas, Mexico, etc. (Uh...MTV pays Natalie...)

Natalie says that Doug dates Paris Hilton now.

Jeff: Why would anybody date Paris Hilton?


Jeff discusses the ant infestation and Russell calls out to Michelle from the Splash Room that she has candy in one of the drawers if she wants to come get it. I don't think she did.

Natalie wants to go backstage after the show to see the production side of things. Kevin remembers Dan saying that behind the door in the backyard there is a hallway or something.

Jeff: What's the big deal? Why wouldn't they let you run around back there?

Kevin wants to see other people like they saw him.

BB tells Russell to put on his microphone. No one wants to hear him talk in the house, though. Looks like he's getting the cold shoulder.

They are surprised that BB hasn't told them specifically to clear out of the Splash Room. They thought it would be locked down after tonight. Natalie noticed that there are two more Slop Buckets in the storage room--they all let that little factoid sink in.


Enjoy This Picture

of Russell popping a zit.

He has been obsessively shaving and cleaning himself in preparation for tonight. Yesterday he said his exit speech would rival Chima's--who knows what that means.
I'll bet he flirts his ass off with Julie Chen. He always talks about what a hot cougar she is.
Michelle was recounting some of Russell's storys about his girlfriends. He mentioned one of a blonde with Double D's who was on Dr. 90210, and also mentioned that he likes to fuck other guy's girlfriends.
Good luck with all that Russell.
Jeff used to watch The Sopranos at his buddies italian restaurant--they all eat pasta and drink red wine. He says the last episode freaked everybody out when the screen went black. All of the kitchen workers were watching it too and he discusses the controversy about the ending.
Jeff seems to think that Tony got killed, and he discusses the clues from the song (Don't Stop Believing). Paulie was Jeff's favorite character--he really was in jail for something. Jordan used to watch it with his dad. Jordan starts to sing the Sopranos theme song and we get WBRB.

Jeff Loves Johnny Depp

He's his favorite actor.

Jeff: He's so good.

Jordan: I'd bang him.

Jeff: What????

Russell is shaving his head (again?) and his hot water use is still a big concern for the HG. Jeff wonders what to make for lunch and talks about his sock obsession. If some chick was getting ready to go on a date with him and had her sock hanging half off and tried to put shoes on over it, he says it would all be over and she would have to fix it.

Jordan: Why would a chick wear tennis shoes on a date anyway?

Jeff: Maybe its a date to run on the beach!

Now they discuss how Kevin walks---Jordan loves it. Jeff thinks Natalie walks the same way, but Kevin denies it.

Kevin: Natalie walks from side to side.

Jeff: Your's is more Jazzy Feet but she's more Slipping Side to Side.

Natlie says Jeff stomps and you can hear him coming. Jeff hates those fucking slippers that are too big and the sound drives him crazy.

Jordan's best friend has a 'hammerhead thumb' and she describes it and how they make her do the 'thumbs up'. They have been best friends since 3rd grade and they always rip on each other's hands.

Jordan: She has the ugliest thumbs ever. But she knows it.

Jeff: You're bashing everyone!

Jordan: We're like Romy and Michelle--we always said we're the losers and won't ever do anything.

Jordan can't say her name but says she would be laughing so hard to hear this discussion. Natalie says her name slipped out the other day because they were talking about her ex-boyfriend and we get WBRB.

Jeff's Acting Career

His favorite role was for a cellphone company in Indiana--a series of commercials. They were dramatic and funny and he got to overact for them.

He has lost a lot of roles due to his Chicago accent and Kevin says he should go to school to lose it. Or maybe he could get jobs because of it.

Jeff: I don't know...maybe....local stuff.

Kevin could never act. Jeff just did little things--nothing big. Kevin could never cry on cue and Jeff agrees it would be hard.

Jeff said acting class is hard and if the teachers are good they really get a lot out of you. If you have a cool teacher it is fun and the class goes for it and loses their inhibition. Kevin thinks that would be fun and he would take it just to lose the inhibitions.

Jordan just ran into Russell in the BR and he started humming in a way that annoyed her--sounds like it might be the I Dream of Jeannie theme song. Immediate WBRB on that one.

Jeff 'jokes' that maybe she could plug in the blowdryer and throw it in the shower. Ha ha ha.

They all have to wait now for Russell to get out of the shower so they will have enough hot water.

Jeff: What if that fucker is in there for 2 hours? He did that yesterday...

Kevin says he already shaved--this is his second shower so it might be almost over.

Jordan wants to take a bat and smash Russell, demonstrating Jeff's influence on her. Jeff thinks its funny when she gets mad, since that's kind of unusual for her. Jeff hopes they have cardboard cutouts of themselves from competitions and laughs about trying to take them home--shoving them in the overhead compartment or strapping them in the seat next to them.

Last night they compared notes on their DRs and it sounded like they weren't asked many questions about the fight---Jeff thinks it was too stupid to show on TV but personally I don't think Allison had time to incorporate another storyline tonight. If Russell's gone she needs to worry about setting up the next dramatic storyline.

Allison, presumably: Fuck Russell.

They can't wait to check out Russell's storys he's told about himself. Jeff made a badass quesodilla with turkey bacon, cheese, sour cream, olives, etc and offers it to Natalie if she wants it---he already ate one of them and left it in the fridge between two plates.

Natalie: You love that turkey bacon.

Jeff: I LOVE the turkey bacon---I want to have sex with it! There's like nothing in it and it tastes so good I put it in everything.


New News

Contrary to what the HG were told yesterday after the big blowout fight, BB did not separate everybody during this morning's HOH lockdown. The HOH lockdown is a weekly event that signals the end of the outgoing HOH's time in the room, as well as Production's efforts to get ready for the live show and competitions.

I guess things calmed down past the point of crises, because all of the HG, including Russell, were in the HOH for about 2 hours. Jeff and Jordan were in bed the entire time, along with Natalie on their side. Kevin and Russell sat on the floor, and Michelle draped herself on the circular chair.

The HG also don't think that tonight will be an endurance contest, because BB had them draw numbers about 30 minutes ago for what everyone assumes is the HOH contest. They have been told to wear regular clothes, so they don't think it's endurance.

(I'm guessing it's something like the video smash-up contest, where they are shown pictures of the HG blended together and they have to guess who is who and what is what. And the numbers determine the order that they will compete. But who the hell knows---I'm nobody.)

Production had to fumigate parts of the house---the kitchen maybe? Jeff thinks it's "all the fucking candy". They still have to clean the house and are planning their showers to make sure everybody has hot water.

They all have to be ready by 5:00 BBT. Natalie is ironing something and Russell is scuffing around wearing his too-big black slippers. Natalie mentions her DR session and we get WBRB.

Kevin asked Jeff if he was nervous about tonight and Jeff said no. Kevin told him not to worry about the vote.

When we come back from break Jordan is telling Jeff that she was surprised that Natalie likes 90210 and Jeff teases her that Brian Austin Green is coming in the house for the HOH competition and will tempt her to go away with him for a month in Paris.

Natalie: I'm out! Nice knowing you!

Now she says she is just kidding and she has a boyfriend, yadda yadda yadda. Now they talk about Melrose Place and Jordan thought it was a real place to live.

Jeff: 90210 was the bomb!

He said that everybody made fun of him for watching it but then he found out they all watched it and they were "faking the funk". Now they talk about when new characters come on the show--Jeff loves it because they were always the troublemakers and "always banged everybody".

He brings up Tiffany Amber Theissen and how she looked chubby compared to Saved by the Bell and was probably 25 at the time.

Natalie: I could probably play a 16 year old, couldn't I?

Kevin: You could play a 25 year old!


Jeff: Sure she could---it's called acting!

He says that Jordan could play some role in Varsity Blues--he could totally see her doing that but she said she wold be uncomfortable with some shaving cream scene. She would definitely play the role in She's All That and Kevin brings up Bring it On.

Natalie tries to guess the questions for tonight--Julie's questions for them.

They think there is an elaborate set outside.

Michelle is making a bagel.


Tidbits from Last Night

Russell played cards with Natalie and Kevin and taught Kevin how to play Texas Hold 'em.

If Russell has to hear Jordan's Gucci store one more time he is going to lose it.

(The Cable Guy just called---be back later.)