Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Cold Summer's Night

and the lockdown is official. They're trapped in there until the Live Show.

(How does Jeff smoke? They used to put up a partition around the back patio so Evel Dick could smoke 'em up during his season, but Jeff doesn't smoke at that professional level.)

Russell is sitting on the bed in the Red Room, fully dressed and wearing a hat, staring at anyone in the room. He announced he's going to be 'up all night'.

Oh shit. There goes my good night sleep.

Jeff is starting dinner and is chopping up some fresh garlic. It's hard to do with a plastic knife, but who's fault is that? Jeff has threatened to stab half of the State of California so far so I can't say I don't blame BB for not giving him a set of nice slicers.

I didn't think Jeff would just use that Classico sauce as is. Not Jeff. He's going to dress it up and accessorize it. (Where did Jeff learn to cook?)

Kevin sits at the counter and deals out a Solitaire game. There's an eerie silence. Jeff saws away at something with that plastic scraping sound. It's hard to listen to.

Kevin, to Jeff: Were your parents good cooks?

Jeff: Yeah, they both like to cook. My mom says my dad always makes pasta. My mom likes to make it fast, you know? My dad likes to experiment and cook weird stuff.

Kevin: Do you have a dish that everybody does well?

Jeff: Uh. Just pasta. I can usually take whatever's in the fridge and make a pasta out of it. Really good, too.

Kevin: I make a mean bowl of Ramen.

Jeff: It's weird to cook for other people. I like to know what's in my food and I know how I like it.

Jeff turns the pepper grinder a million times over the stove and pours some oil in there.

(I wonder if he will offer Russell some pasta?)

Michelle comes in to fix herself a churro snack while Jordan washes some dishes. Michelle has lost a few more pounds this week and it shows. She tells Jeff this is her last churro.

Jeff as Jerk Off Material?

Jordan, Jeff and Michelle summarize the fight with Russell and what a dick he is. Jordan said a bunch of stuff in her goodbye message to him---how would he feel if someone talked like that to his mother or sisters, she hopes she is one of the people he has to vote for at the end, etc.

Jeff says that when he has passed Russell in the house today Russell stares, smiles and chuckles at him in a creepy way. Jeff said he slapped his abs and told him "jerk off material for you in the Jury House, buddy".

Ha ha ha.

Michelle is determined to win HOH--either she or Jordan has to win. If it's endurance Jeff is confident in the two of them.

Michelle hopes there isn't another rope involved in this one. The vodka sauce that BB bought Jeff is Classico brand--Jeff might cook with it tonight.

Natalie apperently told everyone that she dropped in the hanging competition because Russell said she was safe, but none of them heard that. Jeff says she was white as a sheet (after vomiting up there) and she was done---no one told her she was safe.

Jeff: We all have 500,000 reasons not to talk to Russell tonight.

They all think Russell will try to bait them tonight. Jordan hopes he says something bad to her on live TV so everyone in America will know what a jerk he is.

Jeff and Jordan Make Up

in the HOH room. They haven't really spent much time together today, and didn't sleep together last night after Jordan got pissed and slept in the Splash Room. She told everyone that she wanted to give Jeff some space.

He is upset about that because he felt that she aired all their dirty laundry. He would rather she told him she was mad and that she wanted him to sleep on the floor. At this point in the game they can't afford to give away information, and it felt like Jordan was mad at her high school boyfriend.

Jordan started to cry (it's been an emotional day) and Jeff makes her laugh by asking her to make out.

Jordan, sarcastically: We're just friends, right?

Jeff: No, let's make out.

They see Michelle coming upstairs and Jeff tries to go in for a quick kiss. Michelle is hungry and can't wait to eat tonight. Jeff used all of Michelle's raspberry syrup for his coffee and she kind of jokes about it. (She's not really happy, I don't think.)

Jordan compliments Michelle's straight hair and tells her she'll send her a Chi straightener at a big discount from her salon when the show is over.

WBRB on that product endorsement, I guess.

Jordan goes to take a shower, but Jeff wants to go first. Jordan really wants to take a bath instead of a shower. Michelle trys to get her fingernail polish off. Jeff wants to split that bottle of wine tonight--the DR apparently likes them to finish the HOH booze before the end of their reign.

Michelle reported that Natalie and Kevin were having a big laughfest with Russell downstairs, causing her to come upstairs.

The Big Picture for the Next 24 Hours

The HG are being locked in all night---they think it's for an endurance competition tomorrow.

Natalie comments on the fact that Russell was planning on grilling out steaks tonight to celebrate the end of his Slop Week. (He doesn't have much else to celebrate...)

Natalie, giggling: It's kind of funny.

Jeff: Nice...


Previously, in the aftermath of today's big fight between Jeff, Jordan and Russell, we came back from a break and they were discussing that they would all be locked in separate rooms tomorrow (instead of the usual HOH lockdown perhaps?). Kevin thinks that they (BB) are worried that they will all tear each other apart.

Personally, I think AGP has probably considered taping the live show again, in case there is a big brawl during the Live Show.

Do you think it could happen? I can't predict Russell's behavior.

I cant' wait to see the footage of Jessie and Lydia at the Jury House.

Creative Director

Jeff has Michelle, Jordan and Kevin all jump up at the same time in front of the picture wall. They had to do it three times to get the shot but it looks cute.

Then Jeff has the three of them point to Russell's picture and smile--they might have been giving it the finger but I couldn't tell.

Now they scout a location in the Green Room and Jeff and Michelle ride those bikes that supposedly light up something. (Boy, the whole green theme was a bust, huh?) Jeff thinks it is cheesy and now Natalie is involved.

Jordan is buried under pillows on the GR couch and Michelle and Natalie pile on top. ("Oh yeah", Jeff says.) Now Kevin piles on too and Natalie says "just us girls, Kevin".

Lots of smiling and hugging. They want to go outside but Natalie tells them to wait since Russell is out there. Kevin poses for a picture popping the bubbles on the wall.

Now Jordan has a funny idea to sit on the toilet holding toilet paper while Kevin leans in the door with an "ooo it stinks" expression.

Now Jordan, Kevin, Natalie and Michelle all get in the shower and Jeff takes one. Jeff takes an arty mirror shot of them all in the bathroom.

Now they head outside....... it is sunny and clear and they all disburse. Jordan wants a picture of Jeff with the hose since they obviously did a CBS segment of him being the gardener. Jeff is watering for real but turns and smiles anyway.

Ha ha Now Kevin comes over and "touches Jeff's hose" for a shot that is going to be hilarious.

Jeff wants one of Kevin bench pressing! Natalie is going to pretend to work out, too.

Natalie, at the bench: It's got Russell cooties on it!

ha ha ha

Jeff directs a shot of them holding the bar with really heavy weights just out of the shot with Natalie pretending to benchpress. Jordan shoots while Kevin and Jeff hold the weights. Jeff did a video shoot like this when he was a skinny kid. They all look at the shot and then do another one that shows more of Natalie's face. The funny part is that Kevin can barely hold his end of the bar up and it is slanted.

Now once again and they all like it. They move to the barbeque and take a fake Jeff barbeque picture. Jeff smiles and scrapes the grate and says it's dirty.

Still no sign of Russell.

Jeff poses with Natalie by the pool---all smiles on both. Jordan says it's a good one.

Now they shoot pics by the jacuzzi. (They don't really use it that much this year.)

Jordan gets called to the DR.


A New Look for Michelle

And not necessarily a good one, either.
Not a good angle, Michelle.

Kind of reminds me of the time I went to a pub with a co-worker who had crooked teeth. He bought a yard of beer and I had to watch him slurp that beer down from a really ugly angle.
Like this one.

Kevin wants to nap. Jeff is telling Jordan that he is so frustrated and he wants to bust Russell's face off.

Jeff goes in the Red Room: Kevin, want to pose for some pictures and act like we're happy?

Kevin, gamely getting out of bed: Oh, it's that time again.

Jeff makes Jordan get close to him while Kevin takes a couples pose.

Jordan: I'm not in the mood!

Jeff: I know! No one is!

Jeff makes Jordan sit on the Splash Room slide with Kevin behind her to act like they are sliding down.

I can't believe he doesn't take a picture with the tiled word "Shallow" behind him. They talk about how creative Lydia always got at picture time. Supposedly the Splash Room is getting shut down this week, so they should do it while they can.

Kevin poses for a shot where he is going into someone's BB bag and they laugh. (Russell's?) Now
Michelle comes over and Jeff notices how dressed up and made up she is.
Jeff: Take a picture of me and Michelle while she's hot!
Now Jeff poses Michelle and Jordan on the couch and then he shoots a snap of the big TV screen in the living room, which has a psychedelic pattern moving on it. Now they stage a pillow fight in slow motion.
In spite of not wanting to, Jordan starts getting into it and wants them to sit in a cross-legged yoga pose on some green stools. Now they pretend to be walking out the door and wave and smile. Michelle warns that her position is not ladylike but it looks cute with both Jordan and Michelle in the 'Om' position.

Now Jeff takes pictures of the picture wall--Casey's picture, etc. Jeff just blogged his HOH blog.
Michelle takes the camera and tells Jordan to grab Kevin's butt and she does it.
Michelle: Oh my!
Jordan looks at the picture and says she should have stepped back more---it looks like she is right up on Kevin's ass. Russell and Natalie are not involved at this point.

Don't Talk to Me, Bitch

Kevin, Natalie and Jordan sit at the kitchen counter. Russell comes in and washes his dishes, staring at the camera with his menacing look.

Russell asks Kevin where the steaks are. Kevin tells him.

Russell: You want one?

Kevin: mean later?

Russell: Yeah, tonight.

(Russell's Slop Time ends tonight.)

Russell: Jordan, you want one?

Jordan stares, and then gets up and leaves.

Russell talks to Natalie in the kitchen and tells her she and Kevin must win HOH.

Jordan sits outside and breathes. Looks like she might start crying again. Jeff is laying on a raft in the pool and is silent.

I know the fat comments are ringing in Jordan's ears.

Whoever wins the money this year has earned it.

Jordan Obsesses

about the fat comments that Russell yelled at her.

Jordan: I'm not fat, I'm thick.

Kevin: You're not even thick, girl. This is Big Brother, they don't cast people like that...

Natalie, with a mouthful of food: This is a number one prime time show on three days a week! They only cast stars on here--you even had a showmance with the hottest guy in the house!!

Jordan starts to protest that it isn't a showmance, but then stops to consider the compliment.

Russell walks through the kitchen and all goes quiet. Except for Natalie scraping the plate with her fork and slurping down her grub.

(Where does Natalie put it all?)

Everybody Needs a Friend Like Kevin

as he calmly talks to Jordan in the kitchen while he makes eggs and bacon and slices fruit.

He makes her promise that she won't interact with him at all, even if he starts it. She nods.

Kevin: What happens if you do?

Jordan: I lose my money. (the stipend and prize money)

Kevin: We should feel sorry for him---he has issues and tries to make himself feel good by walking into a bar and buying drinks and hitting on models.

(I don't understand the last part, Kevin.)

Jordan keeps rehashing her feelings about Russell and what happened, and Kevin calmly moves about the kitchen, preparing the meal.

Now Jordan talks about how she used to feel about Natalie, and how she always has liked Kevin.

Russell and Natalie are on the patio--Russell is eating and pointing to make his points about whatever crap he is saying about Jeff. He sounds just as calm as Kevin does, to tell the truth, although his language is a lot worse.

Jordan thinks she looked like a crazy person out there---Kevin missed the part where she ran up and chest-bumped him.

(She's lucky she didn't bust an implant...)

Jordan's mom will be mad at her--happy that she stuck up for herself but upset because she didn't act like a lady.

Jordan: I could have said something about his cauliflower ears, but I didn't.

Ha ha ha that makes me laugh everytime.


Tears Fall

as Jordan deals with the frustration that just happened.

We came back from a break and saw Russell say that "he just said he doesn't give a shit about the half million bucks!" and went right back to WBRB.

When we came back Jordan was crying and talking to Michelle and Kevin on the BY couch. She really wants to hit Russell 'so hard'. No sign of Jeff on the feeds.

Russell came outside and Kevin gently asked Jordan if she wanted to come inside with him and make pancakes. She nodded and got up. Natalie crossed their path and Kevin asked her if she wanted to make breakfast.

Natalie: Breakfast? Hell yeah. When have I ever not wanted to eat?

When they got inside Kevin told Jordan he just wanted to get her inside so Russell wouldn't see her cry.

Kevin: He knows your buttons--he wants to get to you!

Jordan recounts how Russell started it with Jeff and her. Jordan mentions that he called her a fat ass and she couldn't shut up after that. Kevin brings up Russell's trash talking him during the 'Chicken contest' and said that Russell was trying to get to him too because he knew he felt self-concious about not winning.

Jordan brings up the chest bump and says she wanted him to know she wasn't afraid of him. Now she summarizes everything Russell said and tries to remember all of the insults. She thinks he looks like the biggest asshold on TV and hopes no girl dates him!

Michelle and Natalie sit outside on the couch, recovering. Jordan mentions Chima and Kevin says that she got expelled. (!)

After something like this, the HG will talk about it over and over and over like an MTV rerun.

Kevin: The thing about Russell, he hasn't done anything positive in this game.


It's Still AWWNNN!

and I can't believe that AGP is letting us watch all this. I've seen them stop the feeds for a lot less than this ---Cappy and Michael, anyone?

They should have a guy with a tranquilizer dart gun on top of the roof because Russell is losing it and losing it on slop, to boot.

Kevin got dragged in again----apparently after Kevin won the POV where he wore the chicken costume Russell said that he "couldn't believe a homo beat him".

During the fight Jordan kept saying, "what did you say about Kevin after the competition? Jeff wouldn't say it, but I will---what did you say about Kevin".

Kevin looks straight ahead with no emotion.

Jeff tells Jordan to quiet down---it's not even her problem and the homo comment goes unsaid.

Jeff went inside and is washing his face and is either messing with his contacts or crying or something. Russell had been yelling that Jeff would put everybody else up and we hear Natalie mutter: "Jeff's not putting me up---he can't play next week."

(Jeff can't play for HOH next week.)

Now Natalie brings up what Russell must have said about Kevin and Kevin brings up Braden's name and FINALLY we get WBRB.

Damn. Another tough week with good ratings for Allison.

Round #2 for Russell and Jeff - IT'S AWWNNNN!

and it's going to be nasty, I guess.

Jeff goes outside to smoke but doens't sit in his usual place, which would be right next to where Russell is working out.

He lights up and sits with his hands on his knees.

Jeff: So how long have you been a fighter?

Russell: A fighter? All my life. How long have you been a _____(couldn't hear, but it was bad)?

Jeff: Ah, one more day....gonna go out classy, huh?

Russell then goes off, calling Jeff a broke loser and a 'fucking pussy'. He gets off the elliptical and is now stacking weights and benchpressing, trashtalking the whole time.

Oh he gets up and says that the phones were ringing in the back for extra security because BB knows he was about to fuck Jeff up.

Jeff is silent and listens to Russell tell him that America felt sorry for him that's why they gave him the power and he's a fucking loser.

Here comes Jordan and she is shreiking like a banshee. If Jordan wasn't in the house, she swears to god she would hit him.

Russell: Go back in and get your cookie dough....everybody in here swears to god they're going to do something...and Jeff just sits and smokes his cigarette.

Jordan is LOSING IT and runs over and chest bumps Russell and it looked pretty physical to me. She was screaming: I'm not scared of you! I will fight for him, I will!

Jeff tryies to calm Jordan and tells her to come sit down and not let Russell get to her. Natalie is now outside with a front row view of the action.

WBRB and I hope AGP is getting security. Russell is pissed and it looked to me that the chest bump with Jordan was a big fucking deal to me. The feeds slowed down and blipped a little as people all over the world are recording this.

Russell starts in about how:

1. Jeff is a loser and has a shitty job at 37 (Jeff laughs and corrects him---he's 31)
2. Jordan keeps eating cookie dough and wonders why she's fat.
3. Jeff needs to worry when he gets out of the house--Russell is going to get him.
4. Jeff thinks he's a fucking model and that's why he looks in the mirror all the time.
5. Jeff was too scared to do anything about Russell and might only pop Jordan in the mouth--not him.

etc etc etc

Jeff is trying to stay calm and is saying that he will be there past tomorrow and that's how he will deal with it. Russell is walking over now and says not to ever make a fucking threat against his family, then retreats back to the other side.

Jeff: Enjoy your last day, bro.

Russell: I am....

Jeff: I don't think you have, the whole time.

Now Russell is making fun of Jeff's speech patterns and Jeff brings up that he can talk about it back home with all the friends he doesn't have.

They both get loud again and Jeff points out that he threw a knockout punch when he nominated Russell for eviction.

Jeff: I don't know why everything turns into a boxing match for you--you're not even a fighter! If I come in the jury house and you do something you lose all your cash bro.

Russell: Is that why you say it---so they (BB) can hear you?

Jeff, gesturing: They hear everything anyway!

Now Jeff drags Kevin into it by saying Kevin is on his side and Russell is going home. It is going nowhere now and it sounds like Russell is seriously hurt that Jeff doesn't want to be friends with him, if you ask me.

Jeff: What the fuck are you talking about?

Russell says that Jeff and Jordan are two peas in a pod--dumbasses! One of them says everything is 'Gucci' and the other says 'Technotronics'.

Russell: Life can only go up from here.

Jeff: Apperantly.

Oh no.....

Jeff: Do you want to have sex with me? Is that your thing? Do you have a crush on me? Because I'll show you some ass on your way out the door?

Russell is backtalking and repeating the whole time.

Russell: Hope they got that on camera, buddy. You look real good now.

Jeff: Take a few minutes and think up a good one. I'll be right here waiting when you do.

And so on.

This is a good example of how nothing is happening in there, and then everything is happening.

Russell refers to Jordan as Little Fattie and Jordan starts up again. Jeff had to talk her down. Jordan said that he looks like an ass on TV because he yelled at Chima and everybody else.

Jeff: Russell you went about this the wrong way. It was a game and if I didn't do this now, you would do it to me next week. It was a good move.

Russell brings up AGAIN about Jeff's threats to his family. Jeff apologizes for saying it but Russell is still going to beat his ass. Russell is mocking Jeff while he benchpresses and we see Kevin giggling into his cup of water.

Now Russell is getting loud again while he adds more weight to the stack. Kevin is still laughing as Jeff gets funny about the argument and is talking in falsetto and then in a fake Russell gruff voice.


Russell Goes At It

Let's look at Russell while we can, huh? I know he has some fans out there.

This may be the last morning that Russell gives that elliptical a hard time. Sometimes on Thursdays they are locked in as the crew prepares the backyard for a live competition. So that may be the deal tomorrow.

Russell looks like he hears music in his head and makes it look easy, as always.

It's Never Too Early For Michelle to Panic

and she starts doing so as soon as Jeff is up and moving around in the HOH.

She mentioned that Kevin came to her with a deal and told her to talk to Russell. Jeff recounted an earlier episode in the house when Kevin told Jeff to talk to Jessie to discuss his vote with him. Kevin came up and asked him if he did it and Jeff refused to.

Jeff: It's Kevin's problem---why do we need to solve it?

Michelle brought up the scenario that Jeff discussed for next week---if their side wins HOH and they put up Natalie and Kevin and one of them removes themself with the Veto, who will go up?

Jeff says that will be a tough situation and they'll cross that road when they come to it--he hopes they never do.

Michelle: At least you've let me know....

Jeff: I didn't let you know anything--I didn't even answer your question!

WBRB due to Jeff's whistling.

Now the sound is back, but the visual is still the control room.


PS: Did you see that the UK version of the show has been cancelled?

Tidbits from The House

There's not a whole lot going on around there. Everyone is still sleeping. It gets like this late in the season. The boredom sets in--for them and us.

One thing: Some of you may know that Natalie and Kevin's latest plan was to start moving things around and hiding them to send the other HG on a wild goose chase. They wanted everyone to think it was part of an upcoming competition.

Kevin got called in the DR and was threatened with expulsion if he didn't put everything back. He came out and told Natalie and she helped him replace the fruit and various house accessories that they had hidden. They are tiptoeing around like reverse thieves, putting things back.

Natalie: We'll talk about it tomorrow.

Kevin: No! We can't talk about our diary room sessions!


(Why didn't BB call in Natalie to discuss it? Wasn't she the ringleader of this effort?)

Kevin goes to the kitchen and is pissed that there is no drinking water.

Kevin, mumbling: If you're so worried about the set, why don't you have water for us?

I think he went back into the DR.

Jordan is sleeping in the Splash Room, giving Jeff some space after he was being mean during last night's card game.