Wednesday, June 28, 2017

In Preparation for the Premiere Tonight, Let's Ogle the House Guest Swimsuit Photos. #BB19


Every summer, a photographer visits the Big Brother backyard for a poolside photo shoot of all of the house guests.  This usually happens a few days after the move-in date, during the week before the feeds go live.

Except during BBOTT.....there's a lot you can say about that season of the show (which aired last fall via webisodes only), but you can't say we didn't see virtually everything that happened every day.  For example, on move-in day, we saw each house guest enter the BB house by themselves, and watched as they awkwardly introduced themselves and then waited to see what would happen next.  The first night was actually kind of boring, but it was fascinating to watch it all play out in real time for a change.

And we also saw the poolside photo shoot, in all of it's confusion and glory.   I was surprised at the amount of lighting and other equipment that was necessary for this, including a staff of photography assistants milling around assisting the action.  I found it all fascinating.  You can read about that here.


Before we begin The Ogling of The New Houseguests, I want to point out that one of these BB19 house guests was already evicted from the house at the time these pictures were taken.  For example, in BB14 Jodi Rollins got bounced on Premiere Night, chosen by her Team Coach Dan Gheesling to exit the game after his team lost the first HoH competition.  Jodi had to return to the backyard the very next day for her poolside photo.....talk about AWKWARD.  I know this because I heard Britney Haynes talking about it with someone else (Ashley, I think.) and she said she didn't even recognize Jodi when she returned to the back yard for her photo session.

***UPDATE*** 

Previously, I referenced the detailed spoiler that circulated earlier this week.  I should have known better, particularly since I made an actual point of not getting immersed in pre-season spoilers.  Within the first 30 minutes of the premiere episode, it was obvious that all of the information was false.  They did get one piece of the story correct, but most of the rest was apparently lies made up from a thirsty "fan" looking to boost their social media standing.  I deleted the previous reference to the spoiler, but as the premiere played out, I found that I had mentioned other information that turned out to be real spoilers.  I'll let you know later in the post what I'm referring to....

OK.  On with the show, alphabetically by first name.

The first up is Alex Ow, the only female house guest to be barefoot during her photo session.  I like this choice because it's the most natural look.  And I would know...I grew up in Florida and spent a lot of time poolside, and also at the shore.

Alex obviously has a rocking body, but I think a brighter color might have been more striking.  And we all know that Alex is a very colorful girl.....I do think those glasses she's been wearing for the pre-season press may be fake though. (She used more than one pair, you know.)


And now we move on to Cameron Heard, self-professed head of the #NerdHeard.  I am very surprised to state this, but I think Cameron gets my vote as one of the most attractive male swimsuit posers.  He's not too muscular, and not so hairy that he felt he needed to shave down.

Like BB18, it looks like Production gave the guys special shorts to wear this summer outside, as they contain some sort of special pocket to hold their microphones.  I don't think they can get their mics wet, though, but they can move about to exercise without worrying about it.

But I digress.  My point is that Cameron looks good here, even if he may be sucking in his stomach just a bit.  (Hey, he's a scientist, not a gym rat.)


And the holidays are finally here, and this is Christmas Abbott.  And OF COURSE her shape is outstanding, but those shoes are not the ones....not the ones at all.  For one thing, contrasting colors like that interrupt the eye line, making her legs look shorter than they are.  Those are nice shoes to wear with an evening look, or maybe onstage spinning on The Pole, but not for this casual setting.

Question:  Would you want an ass like that if it meant you also had to have all of those horrid tattoos?

Even if I didn't have to sit through any painful tattoo sessions, I wouldn't.  The ink just looks low-rent to me, rather "scody" as my family used to say.  I know that probably doesn't fit with what all you kids like, but trust me, the time is coming when it will be much cooler not to have any tats, then it is to have them.  That time might already be here, but goodness knows Christmas doesn't want or need my advice.


And now Cody Nickson graces us with his poolside presence.  His muscled torso is no surprise to  me...you can tell from the way he carries himself (and speaks) that he has spent a lot of time around dumbbells.

My house guest intro post for Cody was admittedly scathing, but once I finished writing my own reviews of each person, I listened to several BB podcasts and learned that some fans feel that it is Cody's plan to be a Total Dick, much like his BB Hero Dick Donato.  If that is the case, I applaud Cody, but I don't think he needed to be a Total Dick to Big Jeff.

So, Cody is probably going to be The Villain, one way or another.  And I'm here for that, actually.  But I can't say I find this picture attractive, due to the way Cody's feet are positioned.  That is a bad look---the pigeon-toed look.  During OTT I saw the crew spraying down the concrete between house guests to keep it slick-looking, so maybe Cody was afraid he'd slip.

And the backwards hat is a mistake, too.  I wouldn't be surprised if "Bruce" (my name for the photographer) suggested that Cody remove that hat, and Cody told him to fuck right off.  But unfortunately we won't get to see that this year.


And here comes Dominque Cooper.  WHOA.  She looks FANTASTIC here and clearly knows how to choose the right color shoe to lengthen the appearance of her legs.  Not that she needs that.....she's at least 75% leg, but she certainly knows how to pose for a damn poolside photo.  Dominique was Miss Black Florida, ya'll.  Or something pageanty like that....

Jessica and Christmas were getting a lot of pre-season chatter about being this year's Hot BB Girls, but I think Dominique and Alex both present good arguments here for being included in that group.  Assuming we're just talking about their looks, rather than the content of their chatter.  Because there is A LOT of chatter there.

This swimsuit is a great example of the new trend towards swimwear that leaves more to the imagination, and the colors are perfect on her.


Next up is Elena Davies, who obviously borrowed Christmas' shoes.  While the shoes are certainly a better match for her swimsuit than Christmas's look, they still don't do her any visual favors.  (Perhaps this is a pre-season hint of an alliance---because why would you loan your freaking SHOES to someone you aren't okay with?)

Usually "Bruce" encourages the house guests to smile, but I guess Elena wanted to go with a sultry gaze.  It's not a bad look, but I think Elena might be limited to swimwear this season with a lot of support up top. I'm curious as to what the (straight) male viewers might think about this increasingly-popular swimsuit style.  It's certainly a functional choice, but do men think it's hot?

I APPLAUD Elena for not having any visible tattoos, and I'm sure her dermatologist does, too.  I think Elena also has potential to join The Bombshell Club this season, and  for some reason I'm sensing some Catfight Potential there, too.  Just a guess.


And here is Jason Dent, described by his wife Holly as "a true cowboy".  I guess CBS wants to make sure we know that, so Jason is wearing his cowboy hat and scarf, while making "Shoot 'em up" gestures at us to make sure we understand the situation.

As you might guess, I'm not a fan of these accessories being worn poolside, but I know we are doing character development here.  Jason is not a gym rat, but I'll bet his cardiovascular endurance would give most of the other guys a run for their money.

Because so far the bull hasn't beat him. Oh, the bull tried, but he apparently needed better aim and more force when he stomped on Jason's skull.  (See article linked in Jason's house guest intro post, which can be found in the "Meet the House Guests" section on the right side of this blog.)

At 6'4", Jason is a tall drink of water.  And I think he is a Gingie, too, but I need to see him without that hat before I can make an official pronouncement about that.  I'll bet everybody is going to wear that hat in the DR at some point.  You know, like Judd's Bear Shirt.

I have to say Jessica Graf''s poolside look is a real let down.  This is not what I expected from her AT ALL, which might be why she chose this demure look for her poolside photo shoot.  You can't even see what's doing with her in this picture.  I mean, the black pumps are a tiny hint, but otherwise she looks like she's in middle school here.

Is that a swim team swimsuit?  Where is all the cleavage she was flashing around in front of Big Jeff during her interview with him?  Maybe she's planning to be a bit more low-key in the house, not really putting herself on display much. Maybe Jessica is just being confident here, showing us that she doesn't have to Show Us, perhaps.

Without the ankle straps on the black shoes, they aren't as unflattering as the black spiked-shoes that we've seen on the other girls, but it does look a little like she's playing Dress Up, wearing them.  Whatever works, I guess.

And of course here is Jillian Parker, who looks pretty darned good in her printed pattern bikini.  If you had told me last week that Jillian's choice of swimsuit attire for this photo shoot would be at least 50% skimpier than Jessica, I would not have believed you.

Jillian has the right idea with the peach-colored sandals, trying to lengthen herself visually.  She is the one, you know, who told Big Jeff that she had "weight loss surgery" in January to lose 50 pounds.  She looks energetic in this shot, but I have to think that Jillian is actually quite lazy in real life.  Because someone in their early 20's should be able to lose 50 pounds on their own, with a little consistent effort.

All you have to do to lose weight is burn off more calories than you take in.  That's it.  It's the oldest equation in the books.

Jillian looks like she's having fun here, and enjoying herself.  I am imagining her to be the one who makes somewhat of a scene this summer once she gets tipsy.  They may just be my admittedly vivid imagination, though.


And here is Josh Martinez, who is pointing and smiling at us as he poses.  I mean, sure Josh is sucking in his gut a little bit, but who wouldn't in a situation like this?  Frankly the situation is nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.  And I like that the shorts are long enough to look comfortable for a long hard day in the BB backyard, doing nothing.

About Josh....Brent Wolgamott, one of the RHAP Live Feed Correspondents, picked Josh to win the game this summer.  Brent also picked Jozea last summer as his top seed, so there may be a pattern there.


And here is Kevin Schlehuber, the spelling of whose last name I have now committed to memory.  I was a little worried about Kevin in there, but as you can see, he at least made it through the first night and is still able to give us a grin.  He looks much younger without that suit and tie he wore for the preseason press, too.

I don't think this is a bad look at all, but he is the only house guest whose shot cut off at the ankles, instead of being a full body shot.  I wonder why that happened?  Maybe Kevin and "Bruce" got to chatting about AARP discounts or something, and "Bruce" had a senior moment.

If Kevin can keep smiling in there, he might find himself able to just step back and let some of those Big Egos duke it out while he enjoys himself.  I'm pretty sure that Julie is going to ask him a question on most of the live shows, right?  I wonder if Kevin can make a good Sunday gravy---if so I will certainly try to get his recipe for you.

(You know who I think might become BFFs with Kevin?  Your Boy Paul, who we shall likely see on the Thursday night episode, coming in the game as a "consequence" of the Den of Temptation, if not at the end of the Wednesday night episode.)

Oh, and according to this article, a male and female house guest will have a fight on the Thursday episode about the temptation choice that was taken during the HoH competition between two "strong personalties".  Perhaps someone dropped out and one of their alliance members got heated with them about it?

***UPDATE***  Some of the information in that article was quite spoiler-ish, and I thought about it several times while the premiere episode played out.  For example, Allison Grodner's chatty answers mentioned Matt's house friendships with Christmas, Raven, and Jessica.  And it was clear that these friendships were blossoming in the days following the move-in, so I knew that Christmas wasn't going to be the one evicted first, even though the edit certainly wanted us to feel that way.  And Allison also said that she thought Megan and Dominique were playing good games so far, so I knew that Megan wouldn't be doomed last night, even though Megan herself certainly feared that as she fought to hang on during the Safety Competition.

And here is Mark Jansen, the personal trainer who is a big, big boy.  I wish Mark's shorts weren't so tight, because when you are that big, you need some room to breathe.  In fact, if those shorts don't have any lycra in the fabric, Mark might split them right there in the backyard.

I'll be right here on the live feeds looking for that footage for you, should it happen.

According to the article I linked above, Matt is already smitten with Jessica, but we certainly saw that coming a mile away.  I mean, we're not looking for subtle clues here, like we're watching The Leftovers or something.  And apparently Christmas AND Raven have also been sitting on Matt's lap.  But not at the same time, I don't think.  It's surely possible though.

Maybe we need to call Matt "The Love Seat".


And it's time to ogle Matt Clines, who is arguably much broader and more ripped than expected.  I wish Matt would have traded shorts with Mark Janson for this photo shoot, I think, because Matt's shorts are too long for my liking.  They are making his legs look too short for the rest of him.

I'm not going to say that Matt and I have broken up already, because I think part of Matt's spell that he weaves is his confident personality and speaking style, which don't come through in this photograph.  I'm going to give him another chance to woo me back during tonight's premiere episode.  And then probably another chance once he cheats on me but apologizes convincingly.

Oh, I told you about how Matt's roommate is a friend of RHAP's Alex Kidwell, but I have an update on that.  Alex has now clarified that he has never met Matt, but was aware that Matt was making his way through the Big Brother casting process earlier this year.  So Alex's information is second-hand, but that's a better hand than most of us have.  Alex said he asked his friend if he thought Matt would be involved in any romance activity this summer, and the friend stated that "there is no way Matt is going without having sex for three months".


And here's Megan Lowder, whom Allison Grodner has stated that based on the first week of play, is looking really good, game-wise.  I wish I could say the same for her swimsuit look.  I don't think she's comfortable here, based on the crossed arms, but I can't really blame her for that.  She is surrounded by tiny little girly girls, but as a BB fan, she knew it was going to be that way.  And once again I can't believe that Jessica Graf is sporting more fabric than Megan today.  I NEVER would have guessed THAT.

I hate to be a broken record (that means repeating myself too much, for you kids that have never used an actual "record player"), but this is another reminder to think very, very carefully about getting tattoos.  The good news for Megan is that she might easily be able to reverse these Bad Decisions by visiting Dr. Tattoff  for a few easy sessions.  If she wins BB19, maybe Dr. Will will even throw in a few free visits for her, in exchange for a promotional Instagram post or two.


And here is Ramses Soto, looking older than he did with clothes on, which seems like a strange thing to say, but it's true.  The good news here is that Ramses' shorts fit perfectly, not too long, and not too short.  He looks toned and fit, and is probably living a dream come true in there.

 I heard the chatter about Ramses looking like Gus Fring's son or something, and I do see that now.  I think Gus would be proud to have Ramses as his son, although for his safety I'll bet Gus would have Ramses in a New England boarding school, out of harm's way.  And I bet Gus would not let his son eat fast food fried chicken very often, either.  Because, health.


Here's Gus Fring, if you don't know.  He is the owner of the Los Pollos Hermano's fast food chain, of course, in addition to being one of the biggest drug kingpins in the Southwest US.  Don't fuck with Gus, ya'll.


And finally, Raven Walton literally kicks up her heels by the backyard pool.  Raven certainly knew enough to wear a nude shoe with her swimsuit for maximum leg effect.  And she shows great balance skills here to teeter like that on one foot.   The timing of this new swimsuit trend is great for Raven, since it covers up her surgery scars and pacemaker.

I'll bet Raven was one of "Bruce's" favorite models today, with her energy and ability to hold poses.  Everyone online is starting to rant about her hairstyle, though, blaming it on Production as a part of Raven's planned "story line".  But once Raven lets her hair down, they are probably going to complain about that, too.

But she looks cute and "Arkansassy" here, and will hopefully be fun for us to watch this summer.


Oh, and speaking of "Arkansassy", here is a picture that Raven posted last year, after meeting Paul backstage at some show he did.  Interesting, no?