Saturday, June 24, 2017

Meet Cody Nickson: I'm Going to Have to Ask You to Step Outside, PonyBoy. WAY Outside. #BB19

Big Jeff sat down for a chat with Cody Nickson, who says he is from Dallas Texas, and he's "in sales".

Cody immediately looks at Jeff after he says this with his mouth open.  He looks scared, like he might not have answered the question correctly.

Jeff and I both knew immediately that this was probably going to be "one of those interviews".  You know, the kind where Jeff has to try and pry the information out of Cody.  The kind where he'll have to keep reminding Cody to look at the camera.  Because Big Brother is a TeeVee Show, Cody, and you're being filmed for broadcast.


Jeff:  So, are you gonna use some of those sales tactics to persuade some of the house guests perhaps?

Cody, exasperated already: I don't know.  I mean....

Jeff, laughing and feeling punchy:  At least you've got it all together!

Cody, in a sluggish fashion:  It's sales for like, roofing, so I go and knock on doors...

(Oh my god.  Study hard in school, kids, so that you can get a job that you don't feel like you have to apologize for, like our new friend Cody here.)

Jeff:   So you actually go door to door?

Cody, positively suicidal:  Yee-aaah.

Jeff:  It's tough. Believe me.  I know the sales game.

Cody:  Yeah.  It's not fun at all.  I've got people slamming doors in my face all day.  I'm not going to do it after this, though.  It's just a small gig.


Jeff:  OK.  So you're planning on winning this, taking home half a million:

Cody:  Oh yeah..... I guess.

Jeff, grinning:  ...and maybe starting your own company?

Cody:  Maybe.  I should hope so. But not in sales though.

(I think Jeff was indicating that Cody will need to create work for himself.  Because who in the hell is going to hire him after watching this performance?  I mean, other than a porn company, because their target hiring demographic is probably disenfranchised youth with good abs and poor judgement.)


Jeff does his best to counsel Cody, while providing some not-so-subtle clues that he needs to step it up and start putting out some personality here.

Jeff:  Well, I think the sales skills can help you in the game, to maybe be more personable in there.  Because you might hate what you're doing, but you're gonna have to...just like this....act like you like the person you're in the house with.  RIGHT?  At least for a little while.

(Note that Jeff kept using his hands to indicate that there is an audience out THERE, so Cody has to be personable in HERE, using his notecard to point at us, the viewers.)

Cody, not taking any hints at all yet: Yee-aah.  I mean, I don't have to like 'em.

(All of this happened in just 57 seconds. Fifty-seven PAINFUL seconds.  With only 275 seconds left to go...)


Jeff asked Cody if he had a strategy going into the house, but I could tell that Big Jeff had little hope that Cody would be able to provide a cogent answer.

Cody:  Uh...I can't imagine trying to keep them from seeing that I'm strong right away, so I want to win that first competition.

Jeff, somewhat encouraged:  Oh!  Okay.

Cody:  Yeah...I want to win that first competition so maybe it will open up the lines of communication with the other house guests?  (Yes, he turned it into a question.)


Jeff:  OK.  Very interesting.  What do you think one of your downfalls might be, maybe?

Cody: I don't know.  Honesty?  (Cody must think this is a graded quiz or something.)

Jeff:  Yeah, okay.

Cody:  I don't lie very much in my everyday life.  I kinda think that when people lie, they're scared of something. So I'm gonna somehow have to condition myself to lie in there, I guess.

Jeff:  So are you having a good time?

Cody, hesitating:  Yeah.

Jeff cracks up and so does Cody.  It's funny.  It's possible that this is as painful for Cody as it is for Jeff.

Jeff:  THAT WAS A LIE!  CODY, WHAT'S UP?


Cody:  I'll figure it out. I think I'll just condition myself in there.  For example I'm gonna lie about my age in there first thing, and then lie about everything else after that.  I'll figure it out.

Who else is offended right now?  Is THIS what Robyn Kass thinks we want to see?  Why does Cody think he needs to lie about everything?  Why would he lie about his age?  Who cares if he's 32?  I mean, I guess he can get higher porn money if they think he's 19 or something.  Did they run out of guys in Texas that can talk?  Maybe the twist is that we're getting punked with this interview.  Maybe Cody was just repairing the drywall in the office down the hall and they offered him $50 to sit with Big Jeff and pretend that he's a house guest.  It would be a funny prank to pull on Jeff.

Seriously, this Cody is making Corey Brooks seem like Chatty Cathy.  We're only at the 1:39 mark right now and I'm ready to slam my head against the wall so I don't have to finish this.  It's AGONY, actually.  I'm trying to entertain myself by wondering what Les Moonves would think if he's watching this.   I'm scared, and it's not even my fault!


Jeff:  Are you single Cody?

Cody:  Yes.

Jeff:  Are you looking to find someone in there?

Cody: Am I looking to find someone?  No....I mean, showmances are kinda dumb.

Jeff looks at us and laughs heartily, so Cody does too, but I don't even know if Cody knows what is funny about it.

Jeff:  Well, they work for some people.

Cody: If it doesn't make me an outsider, then I might do it.  But if it makes me an outsider, I won't do it.

(We're at the 1:57 mark.  I'm going to either kill myself or crack open a beer right now.  I'll let you guess which option wins out.)

Jeff continues to Beat the Dead Horse because hey, he's got another three and a half minutes to fill.

Jeff:  So it's all strategy for you.  You're sayin' there'll be no love for Cody in there.

Cody:  Well, if there's a bunch of it in there and I'm the outsider because I'm single, I might jump in.  But if I'm going to be an outsider because I'm not in a showmance, then I won't do it.

Jeff:  OK.  You're laying it out there right now.  No love for Cody!


I would KILL for Jeff to call Cody PonyBoy right now.

I feel like we all need some good hearty  laughs.  But maybe Cody will mention being on BB All Stars next season, or being voted America's Favorite Player this year, so we can guffaw over that.


And we're STILL talking about the damn showmance possibilities, I guess.

Cody:  She's going to have to be gorgeous for me to do that.

Jeff:  HAVE YOU WATCHED BIG BROTHER?

Cody:  Yeah, a bunch.

Jeff:  So you know there are gorgeous people on da show.

Cody:  Yeah, I know.

SORRY CODY THAT JEFF IS BOTHERING YOU WITH ALL OF THESE PESKY QUESTIONS.  I'M SURE YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THERE AND GET RIGHT BACK TO YOUR DAY JOB.  THOSE DOORS AREN'T GOING TO JUST KNOCK ON THEMSELVES!

(We're at 2:24.)


Jeff is finally ready to leave all of this romantic showmance chatter behind, and asks Cody if he wants a partner to go through the game with, showmance or no showmance.

Cody:  Yeah.  If there's a strong girl in there....I've never seen a really strong girl in there...then that's my go to.

Jeff:  The last house guest in here bench-pressed this couch.

Cody:  Really?

Jeff::  No

(Do we have Christmas Abbott to blame for this casting choice? Although, with any luck she got subbed out with an alternate Wednesday morning.  It's not too soon to pull the plug on Cody, Allison.  Please.  I'm begging you.)


We're not even halfway through here, so I'm going to wave the white flag and just write bullet points so we can put this interview out of it's misery.

*  Cody wants to win this game, but he's not going to "sell his soul to the Devil" for it.

*  Cody casually drops that he has a kid, pointing out that you can't teach your kid integrity by being on Big Brother because it's not that kind of game.

*  Cody's daughter is 5 years old.  This summer was Cody's time to have her, but he's giving that up to be on Big Brother.

Jeff:  Oh, Wow.

Cody:  It is what it is.

*  Cody doesn't cry and swears not to cry at all.

Cody:  I never cry.  Never.

Jeff:  You're telling me you're never gonna cry in here?  I'm calling it right now...you're getting in a showmance and you're going to be sitting right here crying about it. I'm calling it right now. They're gonna bring you some tissues and you'll be fine.

*  Jeff asked Cody the Big Question, about choosing to lose and be loved, or win and be hated, and Cody actually has an awesome answer.

Cody:  Well, I'm not sure they're gonna like me at all, anyway.

*  Cody's pet peeve is people who make "victim noises".   I thought he meant people who make excuses and whine and complain, but it turns out to be something different.  Cody demonstrates for Big Jeff that he means when athletes are hit by something and they grab their leg and groan in pain. (WHAT?)

As the interview finally ended, Big Jeff stood up quickly, slinging his notecards angrily at the glass wall in front of him.  "I've had it with this shit, man", Jeff yelled as he stormed out of the room.  Then a timid-looking girl with a headset and a brown ponytail came in the room and led Cody out to safety.

(Made that last paragraph up. Sorry. I just felt like we needed a big finish.)


***FEEDWATCHER FORECAST***

Yeah, well this is bad.  One of the worst, actually.  I'm never going to get that time back.

How did Cody get cast?  I just can't accept that who I just saw in that video is who Cody was during the casting process.  He was so hostile about having to talk to Jeff, when in reality, Jeff may be one of the nicest guys in the world.  Every summer I hear the house guests sit around in the backyard and talk about how excited they were to meet Jeff, and how fun it was to talk to him.  Yet Cody acted if he were being audited by the IRS or something.

Cody got mocked in Entertainment Weekly, but I think EW could have been much more brutal.  And does anyone actually think Cody is "problematically hot"?  I do think he looked sweaty in the interview with Jeff, and that's kind of a problem,  guess.



I actually think Cody is more like Caleb and Lane, with a healthy dose of Monte from BBOTT., but I can see their point, too.


I took a look at Cody's CBS Bio, and it does seem as if a different person wrote it.  Someone who wasn't irritated by being questioned, and actually wanted to control their own narrative.


Why didn't he bring up the Marines?  People like to hear stuff like that, and it might have helped to explain how he got to age 32 and is working in a job he hates.  And he's a surfer?  That would have been some good conversational fodder as well.

Cody says he plans to be "part of every conversation".  WHAT?  I'll be watching for that, I assure you.

Cody's "Fun Facts" are all rather interesting.  He specifically mentions the Rubik's Cube---Cameron Heard also mentioned being an expert Rubik's Cuber, too. And Cody swears he's never been offended.

WHAT?  What a strange thing to say, right?

I'm fairly certain that somehow, someone (probably on Reddit) is going to spend A LOT of time trying to do just that.

Meet Alex Ow - This May Hurt Quite a Bit. #BB19

It's time to get to know Alex Ow, who is from Camarillo California and is a "customer service and marketing coordinator for an eco-friendly company".

Jeff asked if she is a fan of Big Brother.

Alex:  I am DEFINITELY a fan of Big Brother.  I can't wait to get in the house!


Jeff rocks Alex's world by announcing that dis is the Diary Room, so she's in the house right now.

Alex is "shocked" at this information, and starts looking about with excitement before clarifying exactly what Jeff just said.

Alex:  So we're in it right now....THIS IS THE DIARY ROOM?

Jeff: Yes, you're in da Diary Room, so make yourself comfortable.


Jeff points to the camera, telling Alex that the fans are right there, watching.

Jeff:  You got anything you want to say to da fans?

Alex wastes no time pointing to herself:  Team America...right here!  Here....ALEX!

Big Jeff can't confirm or deny this bold conjecture by Alex, and I think he gets irritated when the house guests veer off topic like that, because Jeff is very restricted regarding what he can and can't say during these interviews.  He probably can't even let them think he is implying anything, and frequently tells them that he doesn't know ANYTHING more than what they know.

***SIDEBAR***

I found this interesting....Bald Bryan on the Adam Carolla Show recently told a story about how he appeared on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire back in it's heyday, when it was on Prime Time TV several nights per week.  He said that Production sat the contestants down backstage and reiterated over and over that neither Regis Philbin nor anybody else on staff would be giving them any information or encouragement at all as they competed, emphasizing that Regis would not be giving them ANY signals about whether their answers were correct or not (even though Regis would frequently ask "Is that your final answer?").

Apparently there had been some contestant protests or maybe even lawsuits from losing players blaming their wrong answers on Regis, saying that he winked at them or somehow influenced their choices through his actions or other non-verbal signals.

And one of the contestants on the first season of Survivor (Stacy) did sue Production after she lost, saying that the other castaways were encouraged by producers to vote her off in order to save a more popular player (Rudy). I think they finally had to just settle with her to shut her up, because she was giving out a lot of behind-the-scenes info that would ruin the magic of the game.  And the internet was  just starting to gain traction with people, so CBS sensed the pending danger of people using the "world-wide web" to spread negativity.  (Little did they know, huh?)

So, people are nuts.  But Bald Bryan did win some money---$25,000, I think he said, which certainly came in handy as he was on a leave from work undergoing treatment for a brain tumor when the time came for him to receive the money.  But Bryan was bald long before undergoing chemo, of course.

I just tried to imagine Big Jeff having to give a deposition to defend himself against allegations of misconduct from a former Big Brother loser in regards to a pre-season interview and almost spit out my coffee.  But as usual, I digress.

***END OF SIDEBAR***


Alex proves that she's not just a recent convert to Big Brother fandom by telling Jeff that she knows better than to expect anything this summer, because each season has something different.

Alex:  Like in Season 9, they had the couples....and in other seasons they bring people back...I wish you guys would bring back James, because #AsiansForTheWin would be awesome!  And we're both practical jokers, so I think it'd be real good!

Jeff chuckles, probably overjoyed that he doesn't have to ask her the hastag question now.  Also, until Alex dropped that hashtag, I was thinking that she might mean Crazy James from Season 9.  Wouldn't THAT be an interesting turn of events.

(After Evel Dick left the BB13 house, he had Crazy James and also MTV hottie Mark Long on his podcast to discuss the show.  I just re-read my recap and it is chock full of insider information, along with tales of drug use.  And Puck, too!  Trust me you won't be sorry you clicked on this link...)


Alex begins to explain her strategy to Jeff, and first apologizes to us if we've already heard her discuss this "like, 18,000 times" already.

Alex:  I want to team up with the guys, mainly, and build my alliance with them, because they traditionally make it to the end.

Jeff, turning to us for a quick stone-faced glance:  Okay.

(Not in Jeff's two seasons, they didn't.  I'll bet Big Jeff is STEWING inside.)

Alex: ...so I want to capitalize on that.  You know, like the Brawns and the Brains and I kind of want to go with someone on the girls' side who is pretty, and I also want to get with the dudes because they ALWAYS MAKE IT TO THE END, and  I NEED TO WIN!  I need to win, America!

(Frank Eudy said some of the production staff keep flasks of booze in their desk drawers, and they offered him a shot after he was evicted during BB14.  I'll bet Jeff is going to make a beeline for that staffer's cubicle after this interview to take a nice, long healing swig of hooch.)


Jeff: Okay. It seems like you've got it pretty well-laid out.  But once you get in dere...

Alex:  Yeah!  You get in there and you get nervous!

Jeff:  So, sometimes things don't go according to plan.

(***cough cough CLOWN SHOE cough cough***)

Alex:  Yeah, so I really need to see the house first.  Because I might go in there and there won't be any cute guys that I can have a showmance with, and then it's just super-awkward and then I'll have to be a backstabber and just (makes stabbing motion, but as if that person was already down on the floor...SAVAGE).

Note that Alex is very energetic, if I haven't mentioned it earlier, and her voice is very excited as her words just burst out of her, moving up and down the scale like musical notes.  (I'm not a musician at all, but I hope you understand what I'm getting at.)


Jeff:  Of course there's gonna be good-looking guys in there, so are you single?

Alex:  Yes, I'm very single.

Alex waves to us at home, repeating her name and town of residence, saying "single" and making a cutesy gesture with her hands under her chin.

Jeff:  Well hold on now....you're not going to be out here.  You're going to be in dere!

Alex: But I will be out there in three months...with some money and I'll be rich, so no gold diggers please!


Jeff:  Okay, hold on now.  If you're in dere and you win, chances are you're going to leave here with a partner.

Alex:  Oh really?

Jeff:  Isn't that how it's going now?

Alex pretends to use a fake microphone as you can see below to interview Jeff, asking in a slightly-sarcastic tone if Corey and Nicole are still together.

Jeff:  I don't want to judge, but I don't think so. I don't think any of the couples last year are still together.

(No, they are not.  I am considering writing a post about that in a day or so....I think there is interest out there about that....)


Alex: OK, so I don't think that is what my strategy will be.  I want to WIN.  So if there is a guy in there and it works, it works.

Jeff:  But love is love...what if Cupid shoots his arrow in the Big Brother house again?  Was that super-sleazy?

Alex:  Hmmm...that's true.  Oh yeah, what about in 16 where they got married?  So maybe I'll be getting married on the show.

Jeff:  That was me....(technically Jeff and Jordan got engaged, not married, but whatever)

Alex:  OH YEAH!  THAT WAS YOU!  My glasses are for near-sightedness!  I couldn't see anything!

Jeff:  So, wait a minute....you didn't know I WAS JEFF?

Alex:  NO!   You look totally different in person.

Alex looked Jeff up and down in shock and started fanning herself, looking at us.

Alex:  I'M HAVING A MOMENT!  I'M HAVING A MOMENT!

Alex goes on an on, giving his lower body (or maybe Jeff's left hand?) another once-over and keeps repeating that he looks "way different on camera".  Yeah, I'm not sure how she means that....Jeff is certainly older than he was back then, but there is a negative message in there somewhere, even though Alex is beaming from ear-to-ear.  Maybe the staffer with the cubicle full of booze will meet Jeff outside the door ("da door") with a brown paper bag.


Jeff tries to get this train back on the track by asking if Alex has any hidden talents that the fans need to know about, but she's not ready to change the subject now.

Alex: My glasses are fogging up....I got REAL excited just now.

Jeff, trying again:  Hey, Big Brother?  We're gonna need some new glasses in here.  Do you have any hidden talents?

Alex: I like knitting, and crocheting.  And I'm a gamer, so if you like games, hit me up!

Jeff:  Awesome.  When is the last time you cried?

Alex:  Uh....I don't cry very often...that's one of the things they said about me, that I'm not very emotional (maybe the BB shrink said that?) and that's good for the game because I won't get all sad about like, having a boy dump me...I like being totally tough about things like that.


Jeff:  So, are you saying right now in da diary room that there will be no tears shed?

Alex: Oh, NO...I might cry in the Diary Room but I don't want anyone else to know that, because that's not cool.  You have to be, like strong.

Jeff:  Yes, this is your safe place.

Alex:  .....unless you pretend to cry   (demonstrates some hands-over-face boo-hooing)

Jeff:  You mean out dere?  Because in here you need to keep it real for da fans!

Alex:  Oh no, I'll definitely be real in here.  Definately.


Jeff tells her he has just one more question, and it's the Big One.  And the wheels fall off the bus for Alex.  And due to what she's about to say, and how she  immediately says it, complete with lots of hand motions and wriggling around, I think Alex might be acting in this interview with Jeff.

Alex: I'd rather lose and be loved, so I can come back here the next year and crush it like Nicole did!

Jeff, his jaw dropping:  So you want to win, and then come back and win it again?

Alex launches into her answer, explaining to Jeff that Nicole didn't win the first time, but she came back last summer and did win.  (Somewhere, Les Moonves just snapped his pencil in two, and made some nasty notes on Robyn Kass' performance review.)

Jeff, probably ready to shoot up dope by now:  So, you're sayin' that you WANT TO LOSE?  And then COME BACK AND WIN?

Alex:  This is LIKE MY DREAM!  You want to come back and do it a second time!

Jeff, openly mocking her now:  What?  Don't you want the money?  What are you here for?

Alex:  I do want the money!  But I want to come back a second time because Nicole won the second time!  So I want to lose, and you guys will be like 'I love her, let's bring her back" and then I can come back the second time and then you can hate me because I backstabbed everyone and got to the top!

Jeff:  So, you want to change your hashtag to #AsianForTheLossThisTime? And then we'll switch it back next season to #AsianForTheWin?

(Ha ha ha.  Good one, Big Jeff.)

Alex is laughing as Jeff says this, bending way back and then way forward as she cracks up.


***FEEDWATCHER FORECAST***

Ok.  All right.

In the interest of full disclosure, last Monday I watched Alex's interview live with Jeff and left with the impression that she was another disaster waiting to happen.  I dreaded having to watch her interview again in order to write up this post, so she is the last female player that I'm reviewing.  I actually had to make a deal with myself this morning to finish writing up the girls so I can listen to RHAP's preview of the female players when I walk my dog this afternoon.  (I try not to let other BB authorities interfere with my views as much as possible.  The RHAP previews are usually laugh-out-loud funny so I'm looking forward to hearing them RIP on these girls.)

I even prepared the following insert in advance, planning to use it to clarify my "clever" pun on Alex's name somewhere in my post.
But then as I started watching, I was actually enjoying Alex.  She's energetic, and seems so excited to be there (Yes Jessica Graf, I'm looking at you.)  And I know she is a real fan of the show, because she mentioned Season 9, a season whose name the Big Brother brass don't like to mention.  The DVDs of the series that are given to the house guests in sequester are NEVER going to be Season 9 (or Season 15, either) and I just had to check to see if the episodes are even included on the CBS All Access website (they're there).

(I mean, the fucking WINNER of BB9 went to fucking PRISON after using his winnings to fund a business selling prescription pills up and down the Eastern Seaboard!  And one of his buddies on the cast was one of his "employees", and he went to jail, too!  And there is speculation that the third member of their BB clique avoided prison time for himself by dropping a dime on the other two!  And I haven't even mentioned the WILD NUDITY and CONSTANT SEX!  Plus two girls PASSED OUT one afternoon on the live feeds (one a diabetic on slop, and the other for an allergic reaction to something) and BOTH HAD TO BE HOSPITALIZED before returning to the game!)

But then as the interview moved along, I realized what it is that made me dread getting to know Alex any further.....when she WENT OVERBOARD pretending that she didn't know who Jeff was, and went ON AND ON about it.  I mean, C'MON.

So by the time she started with the whole "LOVE ME THIS TIME, HATE ME WINNING NEXT TIME" I was thoroughly disgusted.  Well, that wording might be a little strong, but let's just say I felt the thirst from here, 4,000 miles away.  So....is the act designed to make her America's Player as she indicated earlier? Or is it designed to try and pander to us in order to get asked back to play again?  Or is Alex also interested in some sort of entertainment position someday?  Or is it ALL THREE?

I don't know, but if any of those options are true, then we'll know very soon.  Oh, and saying she's a "prankster like James" probably didn't score any points the first time I heard it, either.

Let's take a look at Alex's CBS bio to see if we can learn anything.  Her bio is definitely the longest on one of all of the house guests.  She really fleshes out each item, often using complete sentences, which I appreciate.



I actually like a lot of what she's saying  in her Bio, so I will certainly stay open-minded about Alex as we roll into the game next week.  None of the women mentioned wanting to be in a girls alliance this season.  In fact many of them said they wanted to align with the guys to target the women.

If everyone tries to do that, no one is going to be able to do that, so that might be very fun to watch.  We might even get a rarely-successful girls alliance out of it all.  Who knows?  I just know when women say in advance that they all plan to work together, it never happens.

I'll bet Alex is going to be a good competitor, because she seems to have fast reflexes and above-average written communication skills.  (For some reason that's a thing for me.)  And I can just see her being the "loud one" when it comes time to hang on The Wall, but she's the perfect height to win that one.

And all of her "fun facts" listed in her Bio are actually fun.  I like her honesty discussing the selfie-taking, and also the plastic surgery.  I wonder what the four non-elective surgeries were?  Did she have an accident?  Is there some kind of tragic illness in her past?  She looks pretty healthy and robust to me now.

Until I see further evidence, I cannot analyze Alex's possible game play.  And I can't NOT see her going home on Premiere  night.  But I think she will be fun to watch, particularly if she pulls through on being candid (and certainly chatty) in her Diary Room sessions.  Maybe Alex knows that  is very important in being asked back to play again.....