Thursday, August 10, 2017

I'll Meet You Halfway....That's Better Than No Way. #BB19

Last night on the CBS show we finally got to see the OTEV competition that was played last Saturday.  I guess horror week is over, because the backyard was tricked out like a barnyard leaking toxic waste.


And OTEV had a whiney baby voice that was going to be very difficult to listen to, but of course that soon changed.


Because with a few eyebrow twists and some rather elaborate special efficts, OTEV went evil and started spewing green "vomit" over the house guests kneeling in front of him.

(Someone backstage is a classic Stern fan, right?  Because Pig Vomit....)


So I guess we are officially out of ideas, right?  Because despite the green baby vomit, this OTEV competition just didn't have the pizzazz that it usually does, perhaps since there were only five players instead of the usual six.  And aside from Alex, the usual competitive spirit just wasn't there.

Sure Big Mark won, but he was huffing and puffing just trying to move around out there.  He doesn't do any cardio, apparently.  Jessica later said that she pulled a groin muscle in the first round and I think she had to see a doctor, so that probably held her back a little.  She said that there was so much riding on the competition that her energy worked against her.  Jessica almost won though, due to Mark taking his own sweet time out there.  Can you imagine Mark's DR tears if Jessica had pushed past him in the last second, leaving Mark and Elena on the block together?  Torrents of tissues in the Diary Room, for sure.

It would have been fun to see Jason compete in something so physical.  And Christmas, too, obviously.  But I guess there is no need to cry over spilled vomit.  Or something like that.


*****

Yesterday afternoon, I turned on the feeds to find Josh addressing America, holding a press conference live from the HoH Suite.  Believe it or not, we haven't had many house guests do this over the years.  Christmas addresses the cameras frequently, but it is more like a staff meeting than a chat with live feeders, because she discusses things that need to get done at her gym and even addresses employees by name.  Yesterday she was welcoming "Chris" to the team and explained to us (in a rather patronizing manner) that she likes to "hire from within" and then the cameras got tired of the self-promotion and shifted away just as Christmas was about to delegate activities to keep Chris busy.

But Josh isn't concerned with his shampoo inventory back at home, or social media messages about the upcoming sale on keratin conditioners,  he just wants to talk about this game.

Josh:  I don't have any power next week, so I have to use my power wisely now. I'm seeing people so differently after this week.


Josh:   I see the pictures on the wall downstairs differently, too. Elena, you're in black and white for me.  Mark, you're in black and white for me.  You're done.


Josh:  Raven is also black and white for me.  And Whistle-Nut is playing with fire right now, trying to work with Mark.


Josh: Look at him out there, having a full blown conversation with Mark right now.  I still have Whistle-Nut's back, don't get me wrong, but he's playing with fire talking to Mark after what Mark has said about me.


Josh:  I can't tell this to the others....I can only share this with you, America.  I need to talk to someone about this, to stay sane.


Josh:  My plan now is to stick with Christmas and Paul HARD.  And I plan to have a conversation with Paul to let him know this.


And seconds later the cameras take us to the chess board, where Mark and Jason are pretending to focus on playing chess, while they talk in low tones about Your Boy Paul.  These two have been connected quietly the whole season, if you don't know.  It was their plan to help each other out with information, while keeping up appearances that they aren't very close.  But the days of keeping that quiet may be ending soon.

Mark:  Some of these people would be like lost puppies without Paul in this game.  Once Paul is gone we could just pick them off one-by-one.


Jason:  Yeah, but how do we get that motherfucker out?  He knows how to win every one of these competitions, and he was on the damn block almost every week last year and still made it to the end.


Mark:  Christmas, Josh, Raven and Matt are like puppies following Paul around.  We would have you, Alex, Cody, Elena and me.  That should be enough votes.  But do you think Alex would go for that?  I know she likes Paul...

(I like the use of negative space in this picture.)


Jason, deep in thought: Alex....she's a shit stirrer so.....yeah.  She is a shit stirrer.


I mean, the sign says it:  Alliance.


Some new loud sounds were blasted over the intercom, surely related to the HoH competition on Thursday.  This time it was the sound of catcalling on a construction site, but without the sounds of construction.

You know, like the "hey baby" type of thing.


Mark tried to open the safe deposit boxes using a key that was found by someone weeks ago in one of the boxes.  Jillian hid the key on top of the safe deposit units before getting yelled at by Production.


And today was no different for Big Mark.  He spent a few minutes fiddling with the boxes before Production told him to STOP THAT.


Jason came in the HoH room to go over the new sound they just heard, adding it to the mental list they have of the various noise interruptions and the order they heard them.  Paul has a little song he made up, and Kevin has his own method, using initials to remember the order. I heard Kevin explain it to Christmas but I forgot it already---there was a "DJ MC" in there, I think.

Also, the very first sound was a baby crying, with an angry man saying to "shut that kid up".  Raven insisted that it was a pig, not a baby, due to the OTEV competition, but Paul just let her think that, and tell Matt that it was a pig.  So if that is a factor in the competition, perhaps we will see the results of the Pig vs. Baby debate tonight, live on CBS.


Alex wanted to watch Jason play chess, but she wants to learn his thought process behind each chess move.  Obviously he can't play a real chess match thinking out loud like that, but that would be a great way for all of us to learn about chess.  I've tried to learn chess lots of times over the years, but I just can't find the time to focus on it.

But let's just face it....I really wanted to be sure you saw Alex's PETTY hat.  I have trouble understanding what she says sometimes on the live feeds because she jumbles and mumbles her words up much of the time, but she is a little spitfire and we need to appreciate her while we can.


******

The live feeds were down for a few hours in the early evening last night for the Halfway Party.  They had it last year on a Wednesday night too, so there must be something to the timing of that on the Production schedule.  Last year when the live feeds returned after the party, they had been drinking and at least one person was visibly inebriated.

But as BBAD began, it didn't look like anyone had been drinking much, if at all.  I'm guessing that the alcohol provided was extremely limited, due to the lethal mix of muscles and rage that exists in the house right now.  They just can't take the risk, I don't think.

Christmas was talking to Josh about her reservations about Paul.  She watched his season last summer and saw how he operated with people who considered him an ally in the game.

Josh:  You mean with Victor?  Yeah....

(There are numerous examples last year of Paul working against Victor behind his back, while professing 'Friendship" to his face.  Paul also joined Paulie in mocking Victor constantly behind his back, particularly after Victor returned to the game after the Battle Back.)


Josh doesn't think Kevin really has Paul's back 100% , but Christmas claims to know otherwise.  After telling Josh to put this information "in the vault", she told him that in the hammock Kevin indicated that his final six included Paul, Jason, Christmas, Josh and Alex.

Josh announced that before yesterday's big blowup, he still wanted to evict Elena, but after the way Jessica and Cody behaved towards him, he is happy to see Jessica's ass hit the door.

(I hope Julie Chen can share that info with Jessica, since she probably won't be on the Jury. I'd like to see how Jessica handles that information----will she be contrite and show some regret?  Or will she maintain her tough exterior and say more negative things about Josh?)

Christmas told Josh that we still haven't seen Crazy Christmas yet, and she can't wait to unleash her full powers.  Josh would like to see that, he says.


Big Mark is ready to shake some things up in that house, so we should all send him some good energy for the HoH competition tonight.  He and Cody had a game conversation while pretending not to have a game conversation.

Cody, whispering:  Kevin, Jason, Alex and Paul are gunning for you.

Mark drank water through his sippy cup, slurping loudly and then making that "bottom of the cup" dry straw sound.

Cody:  Does that shock you?

Mark:  NOPE.  Or Elena, either.

Cody:  You want me to tell Elena that?

Mark:  NOPE.  I'm not telling her shit anymore.  ***slurp  slurp***

(NOTE:  We all KNEW that Kevin trying to make a deal with Cody could come back and haunt everyone in his group.  And Mark knows Elena is Team Paul, so he is smart enough to keep her from knowing anything about his true plans.)


Cody:  He offered me FIVE weeks of safety though?  I was like, okay Kevin, that sounds good, sure.

Mark:  Or  he just wanted protection from you in case you win HoH this week, because you have a good chance at that.

Cody: Yeah, I thought about that too.  You have a good chance to win HoH, too.

Mark:  If you or I win HoH....fuck dude.  We can reform this house.


The BBAD Director likes to shift the camera view back and forth, sometimes with just a second or two of flashed footage to keep up with the conversations happening in the house.

We see Paul now in the HoH room with Christmas and Josh, talking crap about Matt and what they think are his true intentions.  They don't trust the things he says, and they don't think that Raven knows much about his true plans.  She constantly runs her mouth so if he told her anything, it would get blurted out immediately.

Josh said that Matt wasn't a big Paul fan, either, and Paul says he can definitely sense that.

Josh: Like the other night, at the table he made a sarcastic comment that we were all on Paul's time now.

(I'm sure the ENTIRE TABLE felt the same way though, except maybe Josh.)

Paul:  Then we all agree....the order is Cody, then Matt, then Elena.  Once Matt is gone, Raven is going to need to latch on to somebody....

Christmas:  That's her WHOLE game!

Paul:....so we can use her for a few weeks to follow orders.


We see a flash of the downstairs area, where the Halfway Party cake and pizza boxes are still laying out on the table, and Raven is shrieking and squealing, as usual.


Apparently Matt shoved Raven's face in a piece of cake.  Kevin later said that he didn't think it was appropriate for a 32 year old man to do this to a young girl.

Raven: DON'T YOU TOUCH MY FUCKIN' ICE CREAM!

On that classy comment, the cameras went back up to the HoH room.


But the cameras shifted right back downstairs as Raven and Matt ate out of the same bowl.

Raven: Carbonara pasta...so good.

The cameras gave us a close up of a huge tub of pasta.  They have this same menu every year.  That pasta will eventually dry up in the fridge and get thrown out, because only a few of the house guests like to eat leftovers.  It's just the way it works out every year.


Upstairs Jason is talking about something that obviously occurred at the Halfway Party.  Something that we will never see, unless Production decides to really stick it to Matt, of course.

Jason: ....and he said that I should kiss him on the lips while he had his make-up on.  I might take one for the team because if that motherfucker kisses me on the mouth he is getting knocked the fuck out.  I'm laughing right now, but I'm not kidding.


The cameras flash down to Matt in the kitchen, licking his lips as usual.

Later in the evening, Paul told Alex that Matt is "fucking weird" because he's been asking Paul a lot of questions about "his season".  Um.....I'm not saying Matt isn't fucking weird, but I thought BB18 was Paul's favorite topic to talk about.  Alex said that she thinks Matt only watched You Tube clips of Dr. Will and other iconic BB moments, and doesn't really know much about the game.


After they ate their pasta, Matt and Raven grabbed a big bag of snacks and took them up the stairs, where the HoH crew stopped talking trash about them just as they came in the room.

Josh:  Well, I can't get into it AT ALL with Cody anymore.  But that doesn't mean somebody else can't....

I want to point out Orwell's poll at the bottom of the screen.  Clearly Matt and Raven are favorites of the control room, but not the sort of favorites that are positively viewed.  More like favorite targets, actually.


But now that Matt is in the room, Paul shifts his smack talk to the next best topic, Mark.

Paul:  It is crucial that we win HoH this week.  Mark and Elena have been staying up talking until 4:00 AM in the morning. And then sleeping in all day together, too.


Raven did look extra rough last night, so maybe they did have a few beers.  I haven't been keeping up with my Raven Snack Watch but I promise to do better in the future.


Here's an Orwell Poll for you:

Does Raven look like:

a)  Ten miles of bad road

or

b)  Rode hard and hung up wet

Just kidding.  I know that's mean.  More mean than usual, I really mean.  Sorry.  Sort of.


Because Paul was talking shit about Elena, the cameras shifted downstairs where she was using a curling iron on her hair while Alex did her after-shower routine.  Elena has been obsessing about her planned look for the Thursday live show.

And Orwell's poll now is about Jason.  I think the choice in the middle ended up winning at over 60%.  And that poll is pretty accurate, I think.  BBAD has a lot of Paul fans watching, though, so there's that. I'd like to see Jason win an HoH, actually, to see what he's willing to do in there.


I took this picture not to force you to see Matt lick his G.D. lips AGAIN, but because the scrolling caption grabbed my attention.

Yep.  Matt was wearing makeup.

I think Orwell should let one of us take over the scroll for an hour or so.  That is a contest I would actually participate in....I'm usually not much of a joiner..


Kevin says that Jessica is going home, everyone knows that, but he's not going to let somebody (Paul) tell him that he can't say goodbye to her.  He later made this comment to Paul directly though, probably greasing the skids in case Paul spots him having unauthorized conversations with Jessica.

Kevin knows.  And he knows how to play people, too.


Kevin is wondering if Jason wants the green waders that Kevin wore to host the OTEV competition.  (There isn't really much hosting to do for that comp, since OTEV is a big loudmouth.)

Kevin:  You can actually wear them in a pond, right?

Jason:  Well, yes, but I won't be walking in any ponds in them.

Kevin says he can get the cast to sign them, and then maybe "hang them on a wall somewhere".

(And yes, Raven DOES look like Raggedy Ann tonight.  Thank you, live tweeter.)


Kevin is miffed that he doesn't have many pieces of competition clothing to take home.

Kevin:  I didn't get to keep any outfits...did you?  Other than your tutu?

Jason:  I got a pair of pants..some shorts....

Kevin:  What pants?  What shorts?  Oh....them.  What about the Weather Guy outfit...I got that.


Jason:  I didn't get the shirt back...or maybe they cut the sleeves off?  No, I didn't get the shirt back.

(Jason Thunder & Kevin Lightening.)

Orwell is clearly biased, per the Kevin tweet in the above picture.


Elena came in the room to ask Kevin if he liked the center part in her hair.  He said he thinks she looks like a TV news woman from the 70's.  Elena complains about the condition of her hair, how thin it is, and it keeps falling out.

Elena, leaving the room:  FUCK MY LIFE.

Kevin, tired of the conversation topic:  No...slashtag FUCK ME.

Kevin later told Elena that her biggest asset was her face, and she should pull her hair back so the TV audience can see it, or maybe pull it up.  (She's the one who keeps saying that she wants to work in the entertainment industry.)


Elena thinks Mark's big toe is terrifyingly big.  Kevin said both he and Josh were like giants in there.


Orwell is quick with the polls, isn't he?

Mark has been sleeping in the Have Not room to "keep Elena company".  They may think what they are doing is private in there, but it definitely is not.  Sorry Mark's Grandma and Grandpa.


I didn't mention that Paul's nose ring has been infected and he's had to soak his right nostril in salt water to heal it.  I think he had the same issue last summer, too.

I used to have a belly piercing, but never any facial stuff like that. The piercing guy told me that he would pierce my eyebrow area for half price because he thought it would look pretty on me.

Me:  Thanks, but I can't really do that because of my job.

Piercing Guy, with 14 separate facial piercings:  I feel sorry for you, man.

Um...no need for pity, dude.  That job bought me two houses and allows me to sit on my ass and watch the live feeds now like a ...well, like a teenager with facial piercings.


Josh found an ant in the salad bowl and freaked out about it.

Jason:  It's good protein Josh! One ant won't hurt you.


Josh had some salad, after all, and a slice of what appears to be deep dish pizza.


Christmas has breast implants.  She said that before she got them, her front was as flat as her back.


Elena, of course, had breast reduction surgery about a year ago, I think.  I heard her say that she went to a tailgate party with bloody bandages still wrapped around her last fall.  She and Christmas say they want to send each other before and after pictures when they get home.

I think Elena's doctor might have been a half-price deal, actually.  It just doesn't seem like he did everything he could as far as cantilevering everything, but of course I haven't seen the "before" pictures.  And since I have no idea what it is like to be in Elena's (shadowy) shoes, I should not be commenting on this topic.



***DID WE HAVE A WALL SHOUTER THIS WEEK***

This twitter person apparently threatened to visit the backyard to yell "Evict Raven"before the sirens went off and everyone went inside, but we don't have proof of this.

Someone alerted CBS to the threats, so maybe that is why they locked the backyard down.  FYI, whoever tries to warn Production should also copy Allison Grodner's twitter account, to make sure the info is received timely.


And this is what the tweeter said about giving it a try.


But when I saw this tweet, it kind of made me doubt the claims.  Because, newbie.


***ALSO***

Cameron Heard was Rob Cesternino's guest on last night's RHAP episode.

Spoiler Alert: Cameron is a delight.  And very, very cute, and quick with the witty banter.


And he had on a Heisenberg T-shirt, so we should add some bonus points for that choice.  Rob had to drag this information out of him, but Production required Cameron to wear those glasses.  And Cameron is aware that at least one contestant on a prior season was required to wear glasses, too.

Not that there is anything wrong with wearing glasses, of course, but on Big Brother it can make you a target due to the Nerd Factor.

Plus his apartment looks clean, he has a good job, a Vitamix blender....his girlfriend should actually be happy that he didn't make it to the Big Show, because I think Cameron could have ended up being America's Heartthrob.

Admittedly, I was a little wasted last night, watching this live, but with his camera placement, I could easily imagine sitting across a table from Cameron, maybe having a few beers and some laughs.  And then maybe some kissing.  So we missed out on Cameron this year.  Just saying.

***AND***

Rob has hired one of the RHAP live feed correspondents to podcast full-time now, and he has his own podcast called The Taryn Show.  There have only been 4 episodes so far, but it appears that Taryn is going to focus on interviewing reality-adjacent people about their lives, rather than specifically about the reality shows they have appeared on or worked to produce.

I highly recommend Taryn's interview with Audrey Middleton.  I learned a lot about Audrey that I didn't know, and came away with a new understanding of who she is and why she acted the way she did on BB17.  I might even watch an episode or two of Sequester someday, after listening to this podcast.


I also loved Taryn's interview with Ian Terry, who has grown up to become a very responsible, articulate adult.  I learned about what it was like to have so much attention at a young age, and Ian also spoke about what he did with his BB earnings, and how winning all of that money impacted his life.


Ian also spoke about writing that BIG CHECK to the IRS, so you know I liked hearing about that horrific experience.  (And what Ian said lined up pretty nicely with what I already told you guys about the tax results of winning Big Brother.)

***ONE MORE THING, WHILE WE'RE HERE***

This is the time in the season where things with the fans get UGLY every year.  The game gets nastier, and so does our conduct as a whole.  I actually wrote a piece about this yesterday, but I knew it was going to be controversial so I deleted it.  But CiCi asked me a question about the topic in the comments yesterday, so I am posting it here since it kind of summarizes what I wanted to say originally.

Basically let's just try and be understanding of these people, who are brave enough to put themselves through this painful process.  You can't say how you would behave in their shoes if you've never tried it...just ask Audrey Middleton.


***AND ABOUT THE TITLE***

Sometimes the title of the post just pops into my head when I finish writing, and I try to go with that impluse most of the time.  The title today comes from an old Partridge Family song that I haven't heard in at least 30 years.  Does that show still play somewhere, maybe on TV Land?

David Cassidy was THE SHIT on this show.  I really wanted to grow up and marry him someday because his hair and his voice were so groovy.  David has fallen on some hard times, with addiction and lack of entertainment career options and all.  I'm pretty sure that I could get him if I wanted him now...I think he lives in Fort Lauderdale.  I could be his 7th wife...or whatever number he's up to now.

So watching this makes me sad.  It's bittersweet, getting older and realizing that other people are getting older, too.  I think the guy in the audience who is making eyes with Laurie Partridge (part of the plot of this episode of the show) is Rob Morrow from Northern Exposure fame, but I checked his IMDB page and it doesn't go back further than the 80's.  It's probably a lucky break for Rob, actually.  Just saying.

It's kind of a beautiful pop song --someone should cover it..  I don't know which of the Partridges are responsible for the string instruments in the background, but I don't think we are supposed to notice that part.  I know I never did, until now.

13 comments :

  1. The Partridge Family is shown on Antenna TV. Maybe Me-TV, also, not sure. David Cassidy recently revealed that he is suffering from dementia and that he has basically retired from the entertainment industry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember hearing that....I hope that means he will stay off I-75.

      David wasn't in peak form when he was on The Celebrity Apprentice years ago....I am still angry at Richard Hatch for being so mean to him.

      Delete
  2. I think that is Steve Guttenberg from Police Academy and other shows. He is not credited in the Partridge Family on IMDB.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No. It is Michael Ontkean. He played Sheriff Harry S Truman on Twin Peaks (1990-1991) and had a few bit movies and roles in 80's/90's and 2000's.....
    It wasn't hard to look up on IMDB if you had more patience and didn't just guess!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yup. It's Michael Ontkean from The Rookies and the controversial (for that time) movie Making Love with Kate Jackson and Harry Hamlin.

    I loved David Cassidy. He was all over Tiger Beat and 16. The hair, the voice and especially the puka shells. I owned them and wore them all summer. He, Donny and Bobby Sherman were my favorites.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The puka shells! YES! I always wanted a string of those. Remember the guys wore those silky button-up shirts with the psychedelic floral patterns?

      Bobby Sherman was too old-looking for me, with those sideburns and all. And I think I liked Leif Garrett more than Donny, but David was just right.

      I've been singing that song for about 12 hours now inside of my head and might try to crowbar some more Partridge Family songs into my posts soon.

      Was Shirley always so far off the beat with her singing, or is that an IT problem with the video? She does overdo it with the lip synching, of course, but she could at least do it along with the actual song.

      Delete
    2. Ah, yes. Bobby Sherman and Donny Osmond. And don't forget Davey Jones from the Monkees.

      Delete
    3. I didn't want to bring up "Making Love" but YES! That was a HUGE deal at the time! The 50 shades of the 80s!!! LOL!!!
      Michael was a hottie in the day!!

      Delete
    4. Davey and Mickey for me.

      Delete
  5. David Cassidy circa Partridge Family days was SWOON!!! Ahhhh....memories! LOL!

    Can't wait for your Jessica post-eviction blog!

    I haven't checked out Taryn's new podcast yet, but he is my fave from RHAP, so will def check it out on your recommendation!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bobby wore those velvet chokers. I liked them also as much as the puka shells. Do you know he became a police officer when his fame faded?

    Do you mean huckapoo shirts? All polyester. The perspiration never stopped, lol. I had a couple.

    With Donny it was his purple socks. For some reason I just loved them. I can still name all the Osmond Brothers in chronological order (including the 2 eldest who didn't perform). I should put that on my resume, ;).

    Leif was very cute. You're right. But a bit young. Sad what happened to him. More trivia: his sister was Dodie on My Three Sons.

    Shirley was usually right on target with her singing as she and David were the only true ones on the track. Must have been the video.

    Definitely work in more Partridge Family videos, if possible!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'd have to say "a) Ten miles of bad road" for your Raven poll, but maybe it will be more like option b when Paul is done using her for votes and then evicting her.
    Shout out to BB9 Chelsia's apt use of the phrase "rode hard and put up wet" in one of her fiery speeches. The archive doesn't seem to go back that far, but hopefully you watched that bizarre season.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heard that Chelsia has been working hard to erase all of the evidence that she ever appeared on BB9.

      I can't say I blame her. So Daniel look for a threatening letter in your mailbox from Chelsia's legal team.

      Just kidding. ??

      Delete

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