BOOOOO! We got to watch this comp in BB17, and we got to watch this comp in BB16. And we also got to watch it in BB15 (even though it was AWFUL), and we got to watch it in BB14. I'm sure you get the picture...the live feeders got shut out, and we're mad....DAMN MAD about it!
I'm not really that mad....I'm just putting on a big dramatic show like Da'Vonne did last night. But we'll get to that later.
Paul won the first HoH competition, which is usually an endurance challenge. He's on a hot streak now, and won't have to compete again until Finale night, where he will face either Nicole or James in the battle for the final HoH of the season.
Maybe all you Paul fans should head over to his website to buy a celebratory T-shirt. It certainly seems like they have created some special merchandise to commemorate Paul's Big Brother experience. And while you're there, watch the video at the top of the page to see our friend Paul swig "Jack Daniels" straight from the bottle and give us The Finger while a super cool French pop song plays. Love that song.
(I say "Jack Daniels" because I think it's really iced tea...I could believe a few good swigs are genuine, but chugging the whole bottle? That would cause alcohol poisoning for a small guy like Paul.)
But isn't endurance James' "specialty"? Apparently not anymore.
In the past few years the house guests have just needed to hang on to win this competition. I was thinking that if this season's HoH Part #1 competition followed suit, Nicole would have the edge, because it is very uncomfortable for the guys to sit on that little round disc. It's not pleasant for the girls, either, but I think it's much worse for the guys. Because anatomy.
But there were some new elements in play this year. From what I've heard them chattering about, it sounds like there was an element of cardio, with some running around, and there was also a speed element that made them have to hurry and climb up the rope. Or something like that. Last year the girls were hurt pretty badly by rope burn, so maybe they changed it up to prevent that. Or maybe they tried to reduce crew overtime by making it a shorter comp. Who knows.
Oh, and the rope started swinging, which was apparently Nicole's undoing.
Paul: When it started swinging, I knew I had it. I could stay up there all day. Ropes are like my thing.
Paul explained that when he used to fight (MMA or boxing?) he used to train by climbing up a rope and staying at the top, then doing it again. He said his nickname was "Monkey" when he used to fight. You can see that James may be shell shocked. Or maybe he is pretending to be shell shocked.
(I am having painful flashbacks to the old President's Physical Fitness Test, where they made us crawl up a big rope with absolutely NO PRIOR TRAINING on how to do that. Ugh. My nickname was "Shrimp" for years and those damn annual Fitness Tests used to make me physically ill, not fit.)
Nicole said that she doesn't have the upper body strength to win that comp, but that the running part was made for her. After the live show ended I watched the live feeds for a short while, and Nicole was whining about how hard it is to be in the house when the person who you hang around with all of the time isn't there.
James: I know Nicole.
Paul: Yeah, we know.
Nicole had Corey's sweatshirt and a towel hanging over the shower door, but while she was drying off both items fell, and she asked for one of the guys to help her.
Paul: I'll get it. But I won't try to look at your butt.
Nicole: No, I have shorts on.
Paul: Well dammit. (ha ha ha)
Paul says he is starving and is snacking like a mad man as he walks around the house. He says he'll cook chicken for them if someone else will cut it up for him. I've heard that Boom Chicka Pop popcorn is good, but I've never tried it. The bag is too big....that is a recipe for disaster for me.
I haven't mentioned it yet, but the house guests have kitty whiskers painted on their faces, and I guess Paul had a pink-ish nose painted on. James had a pink nose too, but not as dark.
They still have champagne left in the fridge and Paul wants to "kill it" since Nicole and James probably won't compete for the Part #2 HoH comp until Friday. One of the three glasses they drank out of earlier still had wine in it, and they think it was James' glass. Paul took it down the hall to James and asked James to chug it so they could all have more.
James did chug it, so that was one successful mission for him tonight.
While James was in the shower, Paul and Nicole met to strategize. Paul has been telling Nicole that James will surely win if he goes to Final Two, pointing out that James already has at least four Jury votes in the bag (Natalie, Bridgette, Michelle, Da'Vonne). He says the only sure votes the two of them have are from Corey and Victor, so taking James is a big risk for either of them.
Nicole is glad that she's playing the next comp, which should be mental, against James. She feels she can win it, and Paul encourages her to study, study, study.
(The next competition traditionally features wearing a harness to climb up a wall and put a puzzle together, but does typically require at least a basic knowledge of the events of the season.)
Paul is INCENSED that James would DARE to imply that he threw the competition to Paul.
James: If that happened, then why would I be encouraging you to win the next one? I'm not working with James. FUCK JAMES!
Nicole thinks James is trying to "be Derrick" mentioning that Derrick let Cody win the HoH Part #1 competition before easily winning the Part #2 competition against Victoria.
(Well, Nicole is no Victoria, and James is CLEARLY no Derrick.)
Paul: James is shitting his pants right now that he's going to have to compete against you in a mental comp. Guaranteed. He's shitting his pants.
Nicole: He thinks he can lose though, and we'll both take him.
Paul says that James doesn't have any blood on his hands, and knows that the Jury hates both of them. Nicole agrees and says James planned it to happen this way.
(Personally I think James landed ass-backwards in the Final Three, without having to plan or do anything game-related, but I guess that could be a strategy, too.)
Nicole: You're not going to help him study for anything, are you?
Paul, sputtering: What? HELL NO! FUCK JAMES!
Nicole says she knows that neither of them have a chance to beat James in the final vote. Paul wants to help her study every chance they get, when James is in the DR, or otherwise engaged. Paul has already started drilling Nicole, asking her all sorts of questions about the items in the various rooms of the house. For example:
* How many cameras in the Nairobi Room? How many camera lenses?
* How many neon signs in the Tokyo Room?
* What color are the ceramic cats' collars? How many collars are green, and how many are pink?
Paul also wants Nicole to memorize the Departures board, because he thinks that might be part of a puzzle based on the way some of the numbers repeat.
Nicole: I'm confident. I'm VERY confident I can beat him in a mental comp.
Paul pointed out that he's noticed James walking around the house, studying things.
Nicole: Well, he may be bringing his A game, but I'm bringing my A game, too.
Victor's Memory Wall picture proudly looks on as Paul enjoys his third competition win in a row. Sure there are less people to beat as the season wears on, but that is when it is most important to win. All three of these players had the same odds to win all three comps, but Paul is the one who pulled through.
Da'Vonne looks on, too, smiling, but she just wants to get her camera time. We all saw that on yet another volatile Jury House segment on last night's CBS show. Here's a question for you....why is Da'Vonne so invested in who Zakiyah chooses to consort with? We all knew that Zakiyah was going to jump back in bed with Paulie in the Jury House, so why is Da'Vonne so twisted about it?
It was all a big noisy blur to me, but as best I could tell, Michelle made a snide remark about Paulie not using his PoV on Zakiyah, and that set Da'Vonne off in such a manner that either their handlers or the camera crew had to get involved.
And for what? I know Da'Vonne's image is to be the sharp-tongued home girl, but why did she need to get up and hover over Paulie like this, only inches from his face? (see picture below) And all that fucking fake hair dangling over him...it's fucking TOUCHING him. He put his hands up in a manner to show Production that he's not going to touch her, but I think he's also trying to get those nasty braids away from his face.
WHY would someone get right up on someone like that? And for absolutely NO REASON? What if a man did that to another man? Or what if Paulie did this to Da'Vonne? This behavior is NOT empowerment, ladies, getting all up on somebody while screeching trash talk. If I just saw this picture without watching the show, I would have thought she was giving him a lap dance. She's standing between his OPEN LEGS! I mean, WHO DOES THAT?
And part of what they were arguing about is how "CLASSY" Da'Vonne is.....because clearly she is classy, right? What a fucking joke. And Da'Vonne went from AGGRESSOR to VICTIM in about 5 seconds after Paulie asked how her actions would appear to her daughter.
Well, someone had to think about that, because clearly Da'Vonne wasn't considering that. Nor was she thinking about any prospective employers, or even the CBS brass. This little performance may have ended Da'Vonne's chances for further work with CBS. I hope so, anyway. I was a BIG Da'Vonne fan last season, but she is just RACHET and DESPERATE now. I can't even stand to watch her DR "performances" anymore. I was really looking forward to Da'Vonne being on this season, but once again she let us all down. And I'm sorry for the fans who have still been supporting her, because I know it's getting harder and harder to defend that stance now.
It's time for her to go back to Inglewood, and stay there. Just a few more items about this:
1. Ya'll know I am NOT a Paulie fan, so it's not like I'm taking his side. However Paulie was trying to take up for Zakiyah, which I found quite refreshing.
2. WHY did Paulie shave the sides of his head again?
3. The Califiores were STEAMING MAD at Production after the last Jury House fight that was televised between Paulie and Da'Vonne, so I can't imagine how they feel now. That first fight was what Cody was talking about when he told Big Jeff that "after what he saw last night, he'd never consider being on Big Brother again".
4. Can you imagine the SCENE in the Green Room on Finale night where the families sit and watch the show together? We need a live feed of that room, because there are a lot of hard feelings out there involving some of the family members. And between certain family members and Production, and also CBS.
5. I am LOVING Big Meech's platform wedges here. They are the star of this horrible picture, actually.
We also got two Jury segments on last night's show, with the second segment featuring Victor's arrival on the scene. I can't remember seeing the fifth place juror's entrance like that before, so that is good for Victor. It did appear that he had quite a few votes locked up if he made it to the end. Corey probably won't get that treatment...the person who leaves in fourth place usually "surprises" the Jury during the "deliberation" segment that should be filmed sometime this weekend. The Jury will move to a hotel today or tomorrow to prepare for that---it's actually filmed on a set at the CBS lot.
(I suspect part of the reason for the 2nd Jury segment was for Da'Vonne to "apologize" to us for her conduct in the first segment. I wish I could just be a naive TV viewer, but those days are long gone.)
I took the following picture because BBAD does some online games and quizzes during the show, and at one point must have asked the viewers who they'd like to win America's Favorite Player. These are the four leading candidates, per their poll:
Da'Vonne, Natalie, Victor & Tffany
Don't forget to vote every day, people, so we can all do the right thing here. I don't know how representative this poll was, but clearly the BBAD viewers are into online activities so it makes sense that they might be heavy AFP voters.
I don't know if you can see it, but apparently there is a tiny piece of turkey bacon that is on the floor right between Nicole's calves that has drawn an army of a thousand ants. Paul sprayed them dead for her, but I'm not sure anybody bothered to pick up that tiny bit of bacon.
Those poor BBOTT players....Production doesn't have time to change the decor and also do a bug bomb in just a week. I'm hopeful that the spectacular "ribs" survive the change over...maybe they can just swap out the Departures board and leave the ribs there. Perhaps a nautical theme next. Who knows. But we do know the ants will certainly be returnees, probably delighted with another batch of messy slobs moving in just days after the Finale.
I love champagne, and this is a good one. No need to pollute this brand with OJ.
Paul wanted it to be a fair pour, making sure all three glasses were equal. He did drink a sip out of the glass on the far left to make that work, though. But in his defense he was the only one who seemed to want to finish the bottle.
I guess winning will do that to you. Losing will too, though. Just saying.
While the chicken was cooking, Nicole enjoyed a crunchy piece of avocado toast. That's not very Ubly of her, is it?
I went through a phase last year where I had avocado toast every day for lunch for about six weeks. I jazzed it up with lemon juice, red onion and red pepper flakes, though.
***IMPORTANT UPDATE*** I'm excited that some readers want to try avocado toast now....I didn't mention the salt and pepper but of course you need to use that, particularly the salt. I think Nicole just scooped out the avocado flesh and put it right on warm toast without even salting Also, Alpine Valley Multigrain bread is my favorite to make toast with....it gives a nice, satisfying crunch when toasted but is still chewy on the inside. And there are sunflower seeds on top of the loaf! I buy it at Costco and keep it in the freezer. I am such a dork I would probably ask for it in my HoH basket, too.
I've been telling you about some of the shady tweets that BBAD airs certain nights of the week. (the "Orwell Games" nights, apparently) Here are just a few of them, for your infotainment.
I did not realize that my stupid watermark was covering up the tweets, however, until just now. Sorry about that. This tweeter thinks that Paul in the kitchen touching his beard is disgusting. Paul is always touching his beard, no matter what room he's in. People with beards need to keep them and the germs to themselves, in my opinion.
This tweeter cautions Paul against taking Nicole, a slithery snake, to the end with him. But in this scene Paul was actually giving Nicole the hard sell, assuring her that he wants to go to the end with her and telling her to be confident for the next competition, because she has to believe she's going to win it.
About Nicole's eviction speech last night....I watched her recite that stupid speech at least 20 times yesterday. I even had it memorized, too, but then Nicole fumbled during the recitation and forget a few lines. I think Nicole is going to be super-flustered when it's her turn to speak on Finale night, especially if she gets some rough questions from the Jurors. This will not be the case for Paul, I assure you.
(My department at work took a public speaking course one time, where a woman came in and filmed us making a series of short speeches. Then we all had to watch the tapes together and critique each other's performance. The HORROR! The course did help me though, and I eventually had a position with that company where I flew around the country making presentations to our employees--up to 100 at a time. One of the keys to it is knowing your material beforehand, but being loose enough to go off script and paraphrase. And if you make a mistake, DO NOT call attention to it like Nicole did. Just keep rolling with it and no one will know.)
And what a crappy kiss Nicole gave Corey at the end of his speech! I think Big Meech showed more warmth towards Paulie when he dipped her then Nicole did towards Corey. And Corey and Nicole have kissed many, many, many times before...Nicole acted like Corey had cooties or something. Why not just send him off with a real smooch for the fans? And for Corey, too.
(I mean, she KNOWS that WE KNOW, so what difference does one good smooch make?)
Once again, sorry for the G.D. watermark here. This tweeter thought Paul was acting way too arrogant, even more arrogant than Victor did.
Well, as Deion Sanders used to say, "it's not bragging if you can back it up".
And this screen shows the results of a stupid BBAD poll where most of the viewers thought Paul would be an excellent car salesmen. I think out of those choices, the LA tour guide would have been the best fit for him. Paul has a great appreciation for history, and also where to find the best pizza and craft beers, so that's the kind of tour I'd like to go on.
I did hear Paul tell Corey that he's going to show everybody "the time of their life" while they're in LA, and I believe him. I wish I could party with the house guests in LA. Damn.
This tweeter said she couldn't stand listening to Nicole and Paul talk smack about James, because "James hasn't done anything".
Well, I agree with that last part. James has indeed done nothing. And Paul and Nicole aren't talking trash about him...they are strategizing about how to win the game, which includes assessing their opponent. Paul did tell Nicole that he thinks James hates him, and has done nothing but mimic and mock him all summer.
Paul: If he wins the final HoH, I guarantee you he won't take me...fool HATES me and always has.
Nicole: Really? You think so?
(Paul needs to learn when to shut up, because Nicole didn't need to know that part...Paul needs her to feel like winning Part #2 is life and death for her in this game.)
A very clever Reddit poster created this picture the first week of the season, "proving" that Paul would be the winner of BB18. Apparently everyone made fun of the concept then, but now it's raising a few eyebrows.
If it's true, no one will love this more than Paul.