Thursday, July 14, 2016

Tiffany's Planned Speech, and Other Assorted Items. #BB18

OK.  Around 1.50 am this morning, Paulie and Corey were sitting in the Nairobi Lounge whispering like two naughty school girls about the big BLINDSIDE that is now apparently sure to happen on tonight's live show.

Paulie:  You and me shouldn't be on anybody's radar for the next two weeks.  We should just sit in on conversations and not say a fucking word.  We do need to figure out what to say to James about it afterwards....we'll just say we didn't know.


Corey wants to blame the votes to evict Bronte on the girls, saying "it's a girls thing".  Paulie thought that was a great plan, and the two of them whisper-giggled about it.

(Um....HELLO.  The girls will still outnumber you 7-5, so be careful you meatheads.  Although...if you factor in the love struck and obedient Nicole and Zakiyah I guess the count could go the other way....)

Tiffany came in the room, quietly closing the door behind her.  You should know that in the last 24 hours, Tiffany has learned that Frank expects the vote to evict her to be 9-0.  At first, Tiffany was obviously annoyed that they didn't tell her about that, but they played it off like it was only Frank's imagination, rather than the Whole House Initiative that it was....

(She'll find out about that, I predict, maybe as soon as the HoH competition ends tonight, depending on who wins, and how salty or frightened they may be.  Can you imagine if Frank wins HoH?  People may have to Stuff Their Sorries in a Sack, Son.)


Back to Tiffany...now that she knows that Frank is the only one who expects her to be evicted unanimously (***wink wink***), she's been working on her little speech tonight, and wants the guys to give some feedback.

I actually don't think we've had the chance to see Happy Tiffany yet this season, but the plans for tonight have her feeling pretty giddy, I think.


She launches into her prepared speech:

Tiffany:  So what I've learned in the last few weeks in this house is that dictatorships seldom work as a means of decision-making, in this house and in the real world.


Tiffany:....and what I've noticed this week is that this is especially true when said person is spewing out cow manure that is worse than the gas that they excrete around here on a daily basis.


Corey reacts to that.


(I'm telling you Corey is a dead ringer for Lance Bass.)


Tiffany:  Wait...it gets better....because I don't want to say "shit", and I don't want to say "fart", so I have to say "cow manure" and "gas that they excrete on a daily basis".

Cow:  Wait, how did I get involved with this Shit Show?  Please leave me out of it.



Tiffany: ....So, with that said, just know that if you keep me, I'm targeting said person, and you should be safe moving forward.

Corey:  That's on.  I love it.

Paulie, snickering:  Are you going to be able to say it without fumbling over the words?

(That is uncalled for, right?)

Tiffany:  Oh, yes.  I'm going to go over about 20 times.  I can't sleep.  Will you guys help me edit?

Paulie says it was "pretty damn on point", but suggests she say that she's going after "said person and his army of little minions", and Tiffany agrees. I'll do it, she says.

Minion:  You leave me out of this, bitch!  Get my god damned attorney on the phone!  Better yet, call that blow hard Les Moonves!


Tiffany:  I'm hanging on a thread here.  I don't give a fuck.

A few seconds later:

Tiffany:  Is that bad?

(So much for not giving a fuck.)

Paulie:  And Paul is going to talk about Friendship in his speech, and who knows what the fuck Bronte will say up there.

Maggie Asburn: Wait...he's going to talk about WHAT?


Fucking Cappy:  It's 2:00 AM...LIGHTS OUT BITCHES!


****

I know we all love to hate the Jeff live feed breaks, but Victor was a pleasant surprise.  He said he left the game in the house and had a good time re-living a few moments with Jeff.

He has a good sense of humor about himself, and was even able to laugh about the Bread Bed prank.

Let's face it people, if the Big Plan to evict Frank next week falls through, Victor may have a great shot at coming back in the game, given the state of his Battle Back competition. Or lack of competition....

Can you imagine the James/Victor dynamic if that happens?  Not to mention the Victor/Natalie dynamic.....


And Jeff showed us a clip that I've never seen before....of Paul laying down crying HARD in the backyard, saying this game is hard and lying to people he cares about isn't easy.

Whose hand do you think that is, rubbing Paul's chest in a circular motion and comforting him?


It's Frank Eudy's hand, son.  Frank was saying that Big Brother is like The Hunger Games.

Paul, sniffling:  It is...but I like it.  I like playing this game.

*****

Note that mere seconds after Tiffany left the room after reciting her speech, Frank came in and wondered what Tiffany was up to.


Corey and Paulie both mocked her, saying that she came in to talk to them without even having her microphone on.

Paulie:  I bet she's been laying in there and just staring at the ceiling.

Frank:  Yeah, she's freaking out.

****

I love JokersUpdates, but their daily house guest polls are just too much sometimes.

How is fucking Bridgette ranked even below Frank now?  And in the lowest spot of all?  What the hell?

And fucking GLENN is ranked higher than Nicole?  And Cody's brother?  Ha ha ha OMG.


People must be high when they do their daily rankings over there, right?

And speaking of high, look at what I just bought at Publix:
The graham cracker-flavored cookie part is what really sealed my purchase decision.  I took the package straight out of the bag and hid it on the tippy top shelf of the pantry.

But I know how things get on live eviction nights.....as soon as I catch a buzz I'm going to drag a chair over there to the pantry and start fishing around for them.

3 comments :

  1. I CANNOT WAIT FOR TONIGHT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like it when Big Brother goes off script, so to speak, so this was a thrill. Not all that crazy about Tiffany, but Frank, to me is a bit of my idea of being a jackass, so it was fine with me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You probably already know this, but it's better to check Joker's at night. The morning rankings are always weird because there are only a few hundred votes at that point. They stabilize at night when there have been thousands of votes.

    ReplyDelete

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