Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Austin Tweets, and Hallucinates About Being Brenchal. #BB17

I kind of wonder what the deleted tweets said...


He doesn't even know his own moniker...it's AusTwins, you big dummy.

Austin: This Isn't a Blog, It's a Manifesto. #BB17

This is just as bad as you expect it to be, and more.  He mentions wanting to meet Liz's family, and that meeting her will change the course of his life forever.

What's that sound?  Screaming?  Shrieking?  The sharpening of knives?  Police sirens?

(I'm actually surpised that Production posted this, because it seems to include a spoiler about who will leave the game this week.  Although Austin won't actually be controlling that decision....and the Twins might not, either.)


If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I have often answered this question with the word no, but perhaps I should have been asking a much larger question… what is a sound?

My time in the Big Brother house has been full of insightful life lessons. It sounds silly, but playing a game for money on TV has forced me to confront aspects of existence that I never thought I would. A sound is only a word and it is our responsibility to breath life into each and every one of them.

In the Big Brother house it is so painful to realize the power of words. It is all that we have. Or is it? I’ve seen many of the strongest players in this game go home because of the words they spoke. Some used too many, some not enough, some were careless with their word choices, and others were victims of misinterpretation and manipulation.


So how have I navigated the waters of this fabricated reality where language shackles us in the prison of paranoia, to somehow become the HoH with only eight people remaining? The answer is faith. Not of a religious kind, but of a humanist trust that I had to embrace from the start.

I started this game by having fun and trusting my bro, Jace. This kept me away from words, away from deals, and away from betrayal. Once he left, I was an afterthought and the people who played this game without faith in each other started to turn on one another. At this point, something unexpected happened for me, something that will change the course of my life even after this game is long over… I found Liz.

I came into this experience wanting to give my entire heart to the game. I wanted to leave here with no regrets to have accomplished everything I set out to. But I never imagined that I would entertain the idea of having a showmance. But here I am two months into the show and I have not only found a showmance, but a real life romance.

Liz has changed the meaning of this experience for me. As a medieval historian, it must have been the three spinners of fate who weave our life threads together somewhere in the night’s sky that brought us into each other’s lives. Since my feelings for her became apparent in my heart, I have been playing this game for both of us… well, all three of us actually.

Hiding her twin secret, keeping her safe from conspiracy, and waiting for her to come back to me every three days when she switched with Julia was devastatingly painful. It has been a crazy ride, but now it is all paying off. We are together and making the most of our back-to-back HoHs. I do want to take this time to tell Liz and Julia’s family that I am looking forward to meeting you.

I will do whatever it takes to keep your daughters safe and happy the rest of the time I am here.


As far as this week is concerned, I had a difficult decision. I was aligned with everyone... whoops! But I choose to run with Meg and James over Johnny Mac. I’m sorry Mac fans, but I just have more fun with James and Meg.

Is that sound strategy? Probably not, but, hell, this is not just a TV show—I have to live here 24/7 and damn it, I like having fun.


It’s time for me to address my real other half… Judas!

Judas is not evil, he is the part of me that has been brokenhearted. He is the part of me that was told he isn’t good enough to be a wrestling superstar for the biggest company. He is the realist while Austin in the dreamer. Judas came here to win and prove people wrong. Austin came here because he loves Big Brother and this is his dream.


Together, I hope that we have entertained and surprised some people out there, especially all of my insane friends and family. Mom, Gman, Allison, Amy, Gabby, Nikki, Eli. I hope you are watching 24/7.

Shout out to the Live Feeders.


With much love I bid you farewell… for now,


Austin and Judas

The Week Drones On as the Ants Put in a Good Day's Work. #BB17

The drama on a Tuesday is relatively predictable...we know who is on the block for eviction this week (Steve & Johnny Mac), everyone else seems carefree, and it seems like most of the campaigning is on the back burner for the nominees.

Because we all know that the votes could change at any minute.  And they might change, and then change back.

To summarize:

*  Vanessa was super-angry at Steve on Monday after finding out he betrayed her, as reported by Johnny Mac.
*  The AusTwins were super-angry at Johnny Mac, too, because he squealed on them to Vanessa.
*  Johnny Mac has reached out to Vanessa for a super-secret alliance between the two of them.

And then:

*  Vanessa has reported just about everything that Johnny Mac said to her to the AusTwins, making them even more angry at the devious dentist.
*  Vanessa wants to see what happens when Johnny Mac approaches the Goblins to ask for their votes this week, on the understanding that his blind rage for the AusTwins will lead him to target them if he stays in the game.
*  Vanessa thinks this little test will show their group if the Goblins plan to target them, depending on whether they disclose this information back to the AusTwins.
*  But Johnny has indicated that he doesn't want to approach the Goblins for their vote until sometime Thursday, probably to reduce the risk that he is discovered.
*  Johnny doesn't seem to know that Vanessa is sharing his confidential information, but as usual, we don't know much about what is going on in Johnny Mac's head.
*  Vanessa is pretending that she is A-OK with Steve now, leading him to think he may be safe from eviction this week.  (And he may be, and he may not be.)
*  James and Meg refuse to tell the AusTwins who they prefer to evict this week, and have threatened to play Rock Paper Scissors on Thursday to decide their votes.

Obviously, no one wants to show their cards in fear of retaliation, because this is the Season of Tattletales.  And there continues to be growing paranoia and speculation over who will come back in the game this Thursday, and who that person might be targeting upon their return.

But for the POP TV cameras, almost none of this drama is visible, and they go about their normal dinner routine.  The Twins are cooking, of course.


James and Julia are still the only house guests who have not hosted a PoV competition.  They know the remaining opportunities are limited, because very soon all of the house guests will be competing for PoV.  (In that case I think the HoH reads the instructions for them before competing.)

James:  Julia, you can go first.

Julia:  That's nice James.  But it doesn't seem like they will have any good costumes anymore.

(The HG get to keep their costumes, which is one nice feature of hosting comps.  Remember Derrick got a tailor-made suit when he hosted that fateful NFL competition that Frankie won all by himself?  After Caleb couldn't even manage to lose a competition competently?)

James:  Probably budget cuts...

Austin:  Yeah, and now NFL football is starting, and the new CBS shows....they just let this show play out and no one cares.

Meg:  The first half of the season is really the most important part.

James: Yeah.  And now they start speeding it up, with the double evictions.

Austin: Who is going to watch POP TV every night when there are just three of us in here?

One of the Twins addresses us, telling us to keep watching, please, so we can see it all play out.  It will be fun, she says.


They really want to get some booze for the night, but BB doesn't like them to talk about it in the house.  Liz says they will refer to it as "candy" so they don't get in trouble.

Liz:  But I really want some candy.

Meg: Oh, me too.  I really want some candy.

Julia starts singing "I want candy" but Production obviously doesn't know that is an actual song and doesn't FISH us.  Meg thinks that may be an Aaron Carter song, but Julia isn't sure.

(No, no, no.  It is Bow Wow Wow.)

While the dinner cooks, they start setting up their game for the night.  Instead of "pot ball" they are setting out plates and platters, each one with a different point value.


And instead of balls, they will shoot these headbands that they got from a competition to see if they can land them on a plate.  They are calling this new game 'Slingband'.


They practice.  And I practice clicking on the picture button so I can grab a picture of the headbands flying in the air.

Look, there's a green one.


Steve did some practicing...I think I got the orange headband as it fell, over there on the bottom right of the frame.  They are realizing that some of the headbands have more stretch than others, yielding different results when launched in the air.


There was some discussion over Vanessa's "new" beanie. It's not new, she says, she just hasn't been wearing it.  James says he likes this one because it matches her eyes.  Liz likes the green one better.


And here is a green one in motion.  Shortly after this photo was taken, James hid all of the headbands until the real game was to begin after dinner.  He said it wasn't fair because the people in the kitchen weren't getting to practice due to their cooking duties.

James and Austin were kind of pissy over the dinner plans.  Liz planned to use ground turkey to make some sort of entree but the guys wanted her to make turkey burgers, particularly since she was making oven fries.  But Liz stayed the course with her cooking plan, telling them both to calm down and deal with it.

James ended up making some sort of sandwich, and they jeered at him for doing that, and not waiting to see how dinner turned out.


Meg and her cleavage cleaned the table.  She said it was nasty and gross, and Vanessa thanked her for the effort.


Johnny Mac just sat and stared.

He did start a conversation with Liz, asking her about wearing James' Cat Hat.  She explained it was her hat, and then clarified that "JuJu" is the one who brought it into the house.  They got it from Nana for Christmas a few years ago.


There was some minor excitement when Austin spotted an ant moving across the floor carrying something much larger than itself.  They looked closer and saw that it was a red pepper flake.

(Is the ant trying to kill his family by taking them that red pepper flake?  Because those tiny flakes pack a wallop of heat.)

James couldn't help himself--he knocked the pepper flake out of the ant's grasp, which is a very mean prank if you ask me.


I don't know if you can see it, but the ant is in the middle of the picture.  He ended up finding his pepper flake again and they wanted to watch him to see where he was headed, but he ended up going in circles.

Maybe due to the people in every direction, but maybe the heat from the pepper flake was already getting to him.  At that moment Austin got called to the DR.  When he came out, he was told they are absolutely not allowed to have any more 'Chocolate Wars' in the house, after Meg's injury.

(She got a bruise near her eye after getting beaned with a piece of chocolate and had to have someone look at it in the DR.)

I don't know what happened to the ant, nor the red pepper flake.


Julia heard a cough from behind the wall.

Julia:  Bless you, wall.


This is what Liz did with the ground turkey, per her later description.  She browned the turkey meat, and then took it out of the pan.  Then she chopped up and cooked some vegetables with balsamic vinegar, before adding back the ground turkey meat and also some marinara sauce.  


I think this is the veggie stage of the process.


Vanessa was laying down and Steve came in to interrupt her with his strange Steve baby-talk.  Earlier, there was a piece of pizza on the kitchen counter that Vanessa wanted.  James told her it had been sitting there for about 20 minutes, so she put it in the microwave to heat it up.  While she was eating it, she saw an ant crawling on it and got really grossed out, not knowing if the ant had friends that were on the part she already ate.

They were surprised the ant survived the trip in the microwave.  So maybe that red pepper flake is indeed no big deal for the Ant Family.

Vanessa asked Steve to go in the DR and ask for some alcohol.  They all suspect that they haven't been allowed to have any lately due to all of the Chocolate Wars.

Steve:  I've never done that before in there.

Vanessa:  There is always a first time.


James entertains himself by reading the back of a package of jerky.  At least, I think that is what that is.  Note how they always leave out open bowls of nuts and M&Ms on the kitchen counter.  Do you think the ants notice that or not?


Julia also made oven fries.  They remember Clay making some weeks ago, and how they stuck to the cookie sheet.  They put some butter on this cookie sheet to prevent sticking (why not olive oil?) and wonder why Clay didn't grease up his pan.

Liz remembers that Shelli didn't want any oil on her oven fries, so Clay had made a pan of them with and without the oil.  (Bad idea...you at least need to use Pam spray or something first.)


Meg said that of all the things they've eaten in the house this summer, this might be one of her favorites.  Vanessa asked if it was healthy, and they assured her it was.

(I guess, comparatively it is one of the healthier dinners, as long as they drained the turkey grease.)


Austin loves the oven fries and wishes Liz had made an even bigger batch.  They thought it would take much longer for them to cook but are pleasantly surprised by the short cooking time.  Austin attributes this to slicing the potatoes so thinly.

Meg and Liz say they can't wait to make sweet potato fries, but Austin says that "they refuse" to give them sweet potatoes for some reason.

(Maybe some one besides Austin should ask the DR politely for some yams.)


James came to the table with some of the dinner served in a coffee filter.  I think he just wanted a taste since he already made a sandwich and didn't want to get another plate dirty.


Steve sat down with a tiny spoonful of each dish and James berated him for using a clean plate.

Steve:  I just want to taste it first....I don't want to waste it if there is too much flavor for me.

Liz:  Oh my god-ah.

Steve: And I don't like potatoes.

Everyone:  WHAT?

Steve:  Well, french fries are okay, but I'm cautious about potatoes.  I don't like them mashed or any other way.

Everyone:  WHAT THE FUCK?

Vanessa:  But potatoes are so bland.  I'm surprised you don't like them, particularly mashed potatoes.

(Steve doesn't just have issues, he has a subscription.)

I did not hear Steve's final assessment on the Twins' meal...whether it was too flavorful for him to enjoy, which would be sort of a compliment, if you think about it.


The Twins are mad about the celery....Production refused to get celery for them because Becky was allergic to it.  Maybe if we ask them for it now that she's gone, they will get us some celery, they say.

Liz:  Yeah...I like it with peanut butter....and tuna.

Steve: Peanut butter and tuna?

They had to explain that they like to put peanut butter on the celery.  And celery in the tuna salad.


James has been trying to get Meg to give him a kiss, and Meg says she knew this would happen after the Zingbot's comment.

Meg:  Like I said, after the whole Friend Zone comment I knew that James would have a point to prove.

James does harbor a grudge.  Several days ago Steve made a fairly rude comment in front of everyone that he was certain his "camping gear" was larger than James', based on "statistics and probabilities".  (Probably based on James' height or ethnicity, or some combination of both.)  James immediately challenged Steve to settle things right then and there in the backyard by a side-by-side comparison, but Steve declined the offer.

I've since heard James mention it several times, challenging Steve to drop his pants right there in front of everyone, but Steve said that sounded "more like a Jury house activity'.

So James isn't forgetting about Steve's rude comment.  And Steve is on the block and needs his vote.  Just saying...


Someone asked James what he thought when he first saw Meg in the BB house.

James:  I thought...that girl looks like Taylor Swift, and I want to get to know her.

Johnny:  What are the top five things you like about Meg?

Meg is already embarrassed, waiting for this.

James:  Her personality....

Austin:  Good.  That's a good answer.

James:  Her eyes....her bangs...

Meg:  My BANGS?

James:  ..and everything...and the way she looks when she gets up in the morning.

They all laugh and asked Meg what the top five things she likes about James.

Meg:  Um...his personality...and his pillow talk...but from separate beds.

I didn't hear her list the other items.


They started their game, forming into their usual teams.  (i.e. Team Stizz, Team Ma, etc)  To their credit they really seem to get into it and it is a healthy competition.


I don't follow the scoring.  I never know who wins these little tournaments.  But I don't suppose it matters.