Sunday, July 12, 2015

Let's Take a Quick Twirl on Twitter. #BB17

Da'Vonne is on twitter now, and has amassed thousands of followers in the last few days.  She's been watching the CBS episodes,and here is a delightful sample of her filter-free comments on what she has to say.

"Always Robin...never Batman" may be the best put-down I've read this year.  And #TheMaleSideHoe ain't bad, either.  You should definitely follow Da'Vonne on Twitter before the CBS show tonight...we may miss seeing Da'Vonne on our live feeds, but we can still enjoy her live tweets.

And who is watching all of these "You Now" shows?  What in the world can they be talking about that requires this level of frequent interaction?

For example, Zach was the first to plant his You Now flag.


And now Derrick is all over it, perhaps relating to his new Big Brother "Social Ambassador" role.


And he's pairing up with Zach....calling it "Zerrick".


And now Caleb is all over the place on You Now.  What the hell?  Do we really need these updates on an hourly basis?


You might find this chart helpful.  I know I did.  I always liked the Venn Diagrams.


Fight! Fight! Jeff's Blame Bus Comes Screeching to a Halt. #BB17

Meg and Jason huddled in the bedroom, trying to overhear the action and stay out of the way.  Voices start getting raised, so they ventured out to the kitchen in order to get their ears on it, as well as to reload on snacks.



As they hear Vanessa's chatter getting louder, they start muttering nervously.

Jason:  Jason needs to stay out of this....because he would be too loud.

Meg:  Yes, yes...oh my god.


***BUT FIRST***

There is a lot that led up to this little 4:30 am explosion, so here is a brief explanation of the preceeding highlights....we'll call it Jeff's Blame Bus Watch.


***JEFF'S BLAME BUS WATCH***

*  Vanessa wasn't sure if the PoV ceremony would be held on Sunday or Monday, so she wanted to put the elements of her plan together before Sunday morning so she wouldn't be caught short.

*  Vanessa had a good reason not to nominate Audrey (great use of the Gay Card) but she needed a believable reason to put Jeff on the block, because it's not just about who leaves this week, it's also about who will stay in the house, and how much credibility she can hang onto for the rest of her stay.

*  Vanessa called James in for a meeting, and brought up the bold-faced lie he told her about Jace's backdoor plan.  James admitted he lied, and apologized.  Vanessa was truly impressed by how sincere and forthright he was, and told him so, also telling him she didn't want him to be evicted this week anymore.  So James escaped from the path of Jeff's careening Blame Bus (for now), and walked back downstairs with a clear conscience.

*  Austin talked to Jeff, who knew James cleared the air with Vanessa, and was getting really nervous about potentially being nominated.  Jeff told Austin that Steve should go on the block, and said Meg could go up there if she wasn't already safe from the BOB. So now Meg's under the wheels of Jeff's Bus.  And Steve's already been there---he has tire tracks all over him at this point.

* While Austin is walking back upstairs to update Vanessa, Jeff is in full panic mode, and tells Clay that Austin is being really weird, and is potentially orchestrating this whole thing.  Austin needs to go next, Jeff declares.  So now Austin has been thrown under the bus, which surely must result in moderate-to-severe damage to the rear axle and drive train. (or whatever...ha ha ha)

*  Up until this point, Vanessa had little interaction with Jeff in the game, but he did speak with her during the Last Laugh outdoor lockdown, asking her who she trusted in the game.  She said she trusted Shelli, and he then said he wanted to speak with her later, implying that he wanted to approach her with a deal.

* That discussion never happened, but Jeff did come up to the HoH room after Vanessa was crowned, and when Vanessa jokingly asked him about the meeting that never happened, Jeff told her he had been thinking about pulling her into an alliance with a few house guests including Shelli and Clay. But he said that he felt he could trust Shelli and Clay separately, but not together.  He said this right in front of Austin, and did not seem to care at all about confidentiality.  So now Barbie and Ken are under Jeff's Bus, along with Meg, Steve and Austin.

*  Vanessa told Shelli and Clay what Jeff said, of course, about them being an untrustworthy team.  Vanessa is aligned with Shelli and Clay (Sixth Sense & Sleeper Cell)  (Study this for info on these alliances.)

*  I know you're probably here for The Fight --- your patience is about to be rewarded, because we're almost there.

*  Around 4:00 am, Shelli and Clay are splayed out on the bathroom lounge, and asked Jeff about how he slurred their trustiness as a couple.  Jeff tried to pin the blame on Jason.  So now Jason is part of the road kill under Jeff's Bus.  (I believe Jason and Meg overheard this before they went and hid in the dark bedroom as seen above.)

*  Austin joins this trio in the bathroom and asks Jeff if Jeff has been throwing him under the bus.  Jeff immediately said James was the one who threw Austin under the bus.  So now James is under Jeff's Bus, too.  At this point, it would be easier to say who's not under Jeff's Bus, right?  Austin then asked Jeff to confirm that he told Vanessa earlier that Shelli and Clay needed to be separated.  Jeff denied it, but at this point he had no one left to throw under that bus.  (Once again, Jeff seems to forget about Jackie....)  Jeff pulls Vanessa into the discussion, too, and this is where the Fight begins.

 ***JEFF'S BUS THEN STALLS AND SWERVES INTO A DITCH***

(Johnny Mac and Becky might as well be eating hot wings at Chili's for all we know, because they certainly don't appear here.)

OK.  Austin then asked Vanessa in front of the group to confirm what they both heard Jeff say up in the HoH room about not trusting the Shelli-Clay twosome.


By now, Jeff must be longing for Gronk to come over the intercom and announce that Jello Shots were available for everyone out by the hot tub.  But even Gronk can't save him now....

Vanessa:  Yes, Jeff you said that when you came up into the HoH room, that didn't want to start an alliance with Shelli and Clay because you couldn't trust them.

Jeff:  You mean when you asked me to enter YOUR alliance.,,


Vanessa:  WHAT did you just say?

Jeff, backing up a few steps:  When you asked me about the alliance...

Vanessa, stepping forward:  When I asked you about MY alliance...Bro, I'm HoH right now...ARE YOU TRIPPING?  YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING SAY THAT RIGHT NOW?  OH MY GOD, YOU MUST BE SILLY!

Vanessa continues to step forward, stepping up to Jeff, while he backs up slowly.

Vanessa:  You said MY ALLIANCE?  Buddy..you told ME you were going to pull me into a meeting.  Don't you DARE imply that was my idea.


Jeff tries to bring up "the hammock talk", but he's already defeated, and he knows it.  He tries to bring up their planned meeting, but Vanessa slaps him right in the face with the facts and Jeff is a mere shadow of his shit-talking, female-besmirching self.

Vanesssa:  And NOW you're trying to imply that I approached you about an alliance?  Buddy, that never happened....it never did..


At this point Meg and Jason are stirring their drinks in the kitchen.  This is bad news, and they know it.

Meg:  This is our worst nightmare.


Vanessa:  You want to jump up and challenge me?  Well have fun!

Jeff, a man with no bus now:  Okay....okay...


Vanessa:  That's it...you're a liar... straight to my face.


Look at Shelli in the picture below.  Shelli has a Southern Belle exterior, but she's a gangster, too, who knows how to keep her composure at a time like this.  She and Clay just kept their cool during this whole exchange, and let Lady Maverick take the stage.

Even Tony G would have to concede, at this point.


Jeff turned to Shelli and Clay and said Vanessa was right about what she said, but there was little he could do to put lipstick on this pig.


Vanessa marched through the house, as the kitchen crowd tried to act like innocent extras, immersed in their 4 AM feeding.  Vanessa stopped on the stairs and turned, telling the group that she was sorry to yell, but when someone lies about her, she has to tell the truth.

Kitchen Crowd:  Oh yes...absolutely....we understand...(please don't hurt us...)



Audrey was waiting for Vanessa in the HoH room, where they celebrated their good fortune.

To Summarize:  Jeff Weldon just backdoored himself.  All Vanessa has to do is stand up and say the words during the PoV ceremony.  And Audrey's name never even came up in all that, in case you didn't notice.


Audrey:  Can I go downstairs now?  I've been hiding up here, trying to take a nap.

Ha ha ha ha.


And just a few hours later, Jason sits alone in the backyard with his cigarettes.  He and Meg will need to find some new friends now....



Jackie came out and made it clear that Jeff certainly didn't ask her for help last night.

And FYI Austin and Liz think that Jeff and Jackie might even be engaged, or married, and that keeping their real relationship a was another twist that has been exposed.

Austin:  They probably get a million dollars if they get to the end of  this thing!

Clean Up on Camera 4 - We Need to Argue About All of These Arguments #BB17

So, right before the PoV competition, Vanessa held the little sit down that she planned earlier with Meg and Audrey (Audrey was in on the plan.), Basically they were following up on what happened when Meg told Audrey that Vanessa and Austin were up to no good. It really didn't matter, but Vanessa needed to stir up the ant bed to lay the groundwork for putting up Jeff instead of Audrey when John saves himself with the PoV.

Audrey is camera-ready this time.


She looks stunning, but this is really the first time I looked at Audrey and got kind of a quick flash of who she used to be, or what she used to look like.

Also, yesterday when Audrey was talking to Vanessa, she seemed to break character as they were plotting what needed to happen before the PoV ceremony....basically, how they needed Audrey to start playing evil again.

Audrey, voice shaking:  How long do we have to keep up the charade where no one talks to me?  I don't want to spend the whole summer being alienated...

I really thought Audrey would start crying, but maybe she was faking since a  few seconds later there were no tears in her voice.

Vanessa was shocked at Audrey's sudden humanity:  WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?  This is not the Audrey I know!

Vanessa basically told her that they needed to get through this mess, and then see how things stand (and probably wait to see who wins the next HoH).  I'm sure this was the cherry on the cake of Vanessa's morning, after trying to keep Austin in line, then Liz, then Austin, then Julia, then Austin...etc.  It was like a clown car where the disembarking passengers never seem to end.


So anyway, Meg got upset.  She said she felt cornered and tried to paint Audrey as a liar.


But even though Meg has a Mean Girl Streak, she is no match for the likes of Audrey, who could have handled this little spat in her sleep.


Then Meg got really upset.  Vanessa tried to calm her down and told her not to cry, saying she knows how manipulative Audrey can be, and it is very possible Audrey baited her into saying what she may have said.  But Meg left the room all pissed off, and as she went down the stairs she passed Austin, who said she was ranting about how Audrey was a liar.

(So yes, Audrey, prepare for more alienation. And when you try to blame this all on Vanessa a few weeks (or days) from now, just see who believes you.....)

I'm sure Meg was hoping to see the handsome Gronk in the backyard, so I hope this little episode didn't smear her mascara too much.  But we all know that CBS filmed Gronk in the parking lot of a strip mall for his BB footage, and is probably at a pool party in Las Vegas right now, draped with glittering hos.  Sorry Meg.


After the PoV, Jeff was like, so stoked, dude.  Because he totally thought that Audrey would go up on the block.  And Clay does a great job at playing dumb...because not only does Jeff have no idea that either he or James is this week's actual target, he has no idea that Clay is in cahoots with Vanessa and Austin.  (If you don't know....you need to know this.)


And I'm not into the conspiracy theories, but I completely believe CBS is ready to cut bait on Jeff. Because the growing uproar about him being a PIG is only going to get worse, and they are the ones who have put him on two of their prime time reality shows this year.  And Jeff has been considered an ASS long before TMZ got involved.  (TMZ just loves to put Big Brother's problems on blast...but clearly they work together, since TMZ is allowed to show tape from the live feeds....)

This may be one of the last showers Jeff Weldon takes before the bottom falls out of his Big Brother game.  He can rinse off the dirt, but you can't scrub away the grimy situation he will find himself in later today.


You can see James in the red T-shirt here, wearing Liz's Cat Hat.  Do you think she's going to want to wear it now?  After James has had it plastered to his head?  I don't think you can put knitted caps like that in the washer without ruining them.

(Although Production did send Elissa Reilly's blue knit cap out to be cleaned after Jeremy McGuire rubbed it on his butt.  For real. I can't make this stuff up, people.)


I don't remember what Becky was saying in this scene, but she was surely saying Something after putting time into her hairstyle today.

I'll bet Becky would shove Meg right out of the way with a straight arm if Gronk was really standing out there in the backyard.  But maybe Meg could play dirty and trip Becky, sending her face first into the Astroturf.. But then you know The Twins would end up strolling off into the sunset with Gronk while Becky was being loaded on a stretcher and Meg was huddled in a corner, crying.

Because, Twins. And football players.  Duh.


And the PoV players got these little Gronk T-shirts.  Johnny Mac said he would never wash his, after wearing it to win the PoV.  There was some sort of gook on the shirt, but Johnny said he would just try to wipe it off.  His Big Brother Swag Bag is already overflowing, he says.

That's one good thing about having to compete in all of those BoBs and PoVs.....you get to keep your costumes.


***WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT STEVE MOSES***

OK, so BBAD devoted a huge amount of time to a conversation between Vanessa and Steve.  And it was interesting, because it was yet another conversation where Vanessa had to try to translate the other person's gibberish and then craft her response in an appropriate way.


Basically, Steve went up to the HoH and was rather frantic about seeing the aftermath of the Meg-Audrey-Vanessa meeting discussed at the top of this post.  Steve overheard Meg downstairs saying "she's a liar!  she's a liar!" and he was trying to warn Vanessa that Meg thought she was a liar.

Vanessa:  Um....that whole conversation turned into Meg calling Audrey a liar...so are you sure that Meg wasn't calling Audrey a liar down stairs?

Steve:  Oh.  Well, maybe I misunderstood.

(How can Vanessa trust the information that Steve gives her if he has so little insight into most of the human interaction in this game?)


Steve desperately needed to know what that meeting was about, but as Vanessa tried to tell him, Steve kept interrupting and asking clarifying questions about the smallest details.  I'm no psychologist, but I think Steve is just so up in his head all of the time that he can't connect to other people.  Or maybe it's the other way around, but he is never present when he speaks with people.  It's obvious that he's running facts through his database and trying to spout them out as quickly as possible, rather than making eye contact and really trying to "get" the other person.  And he is oblivious to the social cues that he is irritating people during conversations....even though I've heard him admit that he has this problem.  And the constant spouting of Big Brother historical minutia is not helpful at least 83% of the time he does it..

Here is an example conversation between Vanessa and Steve:

Steve:  I need to know...I need to know now about your lunch with Meg. I need you to tell me now.

Vanessa:  OK.  Well, we went to the deli, and she got an egg salad..

Steve:  Audrey?  Audrey got the egg salad?

Vanessa:  No, Meg.  I went to lunch with Meg.

Steve:  But what about Audrey's egg salad?  I need to know now.

Vanessa:  Um....I went to lunch with Meg...MEG...and she got the egg salad.

Steve:  Making egg salad won't work for Audrey in this game.  It didn't work for Karen in BB5, or for Nakomis in BB7 because that pickle relish was in the storage room BEFORE the Week #3 PoV competition.

Vanessa:  ....uh...okay...

***And SCENE***

But Steve did give a good example of Jeff being a bully, when he told Steve to shut up in front of the other Kool Kids.  But Steve pointed out that there have been much bigger bullies in BB history....like Evel Dick in BB8 and Russell in BB11, (Like that matters now..)

Vanessa asked Steve how she did in the PoV competition.

Steve:  Well, you did the best you could.

Vanessa:  STEVE!  C'MON..DO THE MATH...

Steve did not know how to compute this conversational exchange.

Vanessa:  C'mon!  Who did we want to win this week...

Steve:  Audrey?

Vanessa:  Yes.  So do the math!

Steve would rather see Jeff go than James, if he had the choice, although he didn't really come out and say it directly.  But that's no surprise, because, Steve.

Steve:  I can have a conversation with James about whatever....I can stand in the kitchen and talk about the foam, or laugh about the big dice, but I can't talk about anything with Jeff...nothing.

Vanessa later counted the votes to evict Jeff and asked him if she could count on his vote. Steve hemmed and hawed and finally said that unless there was some huge personal crises (like a Twist?) he would vote to get rid of Jeff.


At some point Austin came in the room and perched nearby, listening.

Steve, to Austin:  What do you think?

Austin:  What do I think?  About what?

(OMG poor Vanessa with these people. Damn.)

Steve:  Earlier today...you were nice to me at the kitchen counter with Julia.

Austin:  What?

Steve:  You were nice to me.  You need to stop doing that.

(i.e. to hide their alliance.)

(And note that after watching James compete in two straight competitions that involve mental skills, Vanessa is not as worried about James' competition abilities.  And he lacks the social skills that Jeff has, therefore making Jeff a better target for eviction this week.)

***ABOUT THE TWINS***

Austin was able to update Vanessa as to the latest downstairs scuttlebutt about The Twins.  Basically:

*  Everyone is 100% sure Liz is a Twin.
*  They all assume that, like BB5, as soon as someone calls them out to Production, the extra Twin will never be eligible to come in the game (not true for BB17).
*  They plan to hold off on calling them out in order to choose the best perceived timing for their games.
*  They think that if the Twin Twist is revealed, an evicted house guest will compete to come back in the game.  So they want to be sure they are all included in that group, in case one of them is evicted in the next few weeks.

Liz:  Great...just let them think all of that...don't tell them.

Jeff: This is Audrey 101, and I'm So Mad I'm Shaking #BB17

It's after 6:00 am on Sunday, but it looks like Jason, Meg and Jeff pulled an allnighter.  But not a good allnighter, where you closed down the club and then hit the Shoney's breakfast bar and then home to get high and watch Pee Wee's Playhouse on DVD.

This allnighter is the bad kind, where you're tossing and turning and so worried about the next day, and the rest of your life.  Like you're watching the clock and thinking every car you hear turning on your street may be your boyfriend, who never called when he said he would.

Oh...have I said too much?  Ha ha ha ha.

OK..back to the patio.  As much as we'd all love to see Jeff get totally blindsided during the PoV ceremony, that won't happen, because he knows he's going on the block.  And he knows there isn't much he can do about it.

But that's Vanessa's plan....after yesterday's PoV Fiasco she needed two things:

1.  A reason not to backdoor Audrey to avoid the wrath of the house
2.  A reason to backdoor Jeff that sounds plausible

So she and the other Sixth Sense members started an Anti-Jeff campaign last night that basically culminated in Vanessa announcing that James is no longer her target, because Jeff is.  And she pulled the Gay Card by saying that as a lesbian, she doesn't want to boot the transgender person.  I'll try to summarize all of last night's crap in a later post, but if all of this crazy late-night live feed action continues I may need to move to California so I don't have pesky time-zone issues.

***UPDATE***  You can learn about the 4:30 am fight here.

Jason thinks he sees his arm muscle in the window reflection as he lifts up his arm to smoke.

Jason:  Oh, hello Jason's muscle. Didn't expect to see you, here.


Meg:  I look gorgeous right now.

Jason: You'e so Lady Di I can't stand it.


Jeff is blowing through Jason's cigarettes.  Because like, he's so stressed, dude.

Jeff:  Jason, can I have another one?  You might need to help me with some cigarettes today.

Jason:  ***crickets***


They wonder what the hell happened around there, and end up pointing the finger at Audrey.  After all, it's not surprising that Audrey would lay low until after the PoV competition and then start causing trouble.  They noticed that Audrey spent a long time upstairs in the HoH yesterday, and with Clay and Shelli last night.

Jeff:  Why does Austin think I threw him under the bus?  Who's been talking to him?  And the conversation that I had with Vanessa, every word was true, but why does she care?  All of the fights that happened....none of them were really about her.  This is Audrey 101, and I'm so mad I'm shaking.

The three of them started throwing Clay and Shelli's name around, too, since they know Audrey is linked to them.  And they think Vanessa is getting unhinged, too, which apparently keeps her above suspicion .

Jeff: Who's the master mind here?  Who's pulling the puppet strings?  Is it Austin?

Jason:  It's Audrey.



Jason:  And Vanessa....she came up to me and said that after I talked to her, what I said made sense so she took a shower and listened to her CD for awhile, and then she felt better.  Well, all I did was tell that bitch to calm down, so if last night was her calming down then I don't want to know...

Jeff:  How can we turn this around?

Jason:  I don't think we can, now.

Jeff:  So now I have to campaign against James?


(Jason is probably thinking...you're going home Jeff...so stop smoking my cigarettes!)


Oh, and they have had a big Gronk Party situation on their hands.  Here is the message Vanessa had to read to the house guests:

Vanessa:  House guests, Gronk said no Have Nots, but Gronk's party will kick into high gear. You have to do what he says, or you will become a Have Not.

So at various points of the evening, Gronk comes on the screen and orders them to do the limbo, etc.  Meg and Jason said yesterday that they had won some sort of party, but they didn't expect this.

Jason:  Watch them have a margarita party for us now....

Jeff:  Oh no...god no.

Jason:  Thanks a lot Gronk.  I thought you were a patriot.


Jeff just can't make sense of Vanessa fighting with him last night.  She didn't come after anyone else, he says.  Meg brings up her little altercation with Audrey yesterday and says Audrey never budges from her stories.  Why would anyone (i.e. Vanessa) be so stupid to believe anything Audrey says now?

Jason:  I'm scared to say anything, because she (Audrey) will come after me.

Jeff:  I feel like this is not Vanessa's original plan.  I expected them (Vanessa & Austin) to put up Clay.

Jason:  It's not.  It's being fed to her.  Vanessa doesn't really know what is going on in this house very much.

Meg agrees, noting that yesterday during her sit down with Audrey and Vanessa, it seemed like Vanessa believed both sides of the story.

Meg:  How can she agree with both of us?

Jason:  C'mon.  Let's go to bed before we have another fucking Gronk party.

Meg:  I wish I'd kept my fucking mouth shut and never said anything to her (Audrey).

Jason:  C'mon Princess Di.


***SO***

These kids have NO IDEA that Vanessa and Austin are working with Clay and Shelli, much less Audrey.  (Confused about Vanessa's alliances?  Here you go.)

And Vanessa's hastily slapped-together plan to justify putting up Jeff instead of Audrey while minimizing future backlash sounds like it has legs.  But there is still plenty of time for the likes of Austin and The Twins to mess things up.  You know, flop on the river, or whatever.

At least all of this drama seems to have put everybody off Twin Watch, so that might be an unintended benefit for the Sixth Sense.  And Freaks and Geeks.  And Vanessa's Angels.  And The House.

(This makes The Hitmen seem like a toddler's birthday party, doesn't it?  I wonder how Derrick would have tried to handle the likes of Vanessa and Audrey? Now THAT would have been interesting..)