Saturday, July 11, 2015

PoV Aftermath - Vanessa Can't Rely on The Big Dummy #BB17

The PoV is over, and Vanessa is mad at Austin.  She's so mad that at times she sounds ready to burst into tears. Johnny Mac won, and it sounds like Austin had some clear opportunities to change the outcome along the way.  I think they had to face off against each other one-by-one.

(I'm guessing it was like that "human dice cage" competition that Devin won by facing down one person after another.  The BB16 house guests were mad after that happened, too.)

Now let's join the drama, already in progress....

Vanessa:  That's why I tried to make it real crystal clear this morning, when I said if it gets down to us and Johnny Mac, it's better for us to have the choice...and I asked you if it was down to you and Johnny Mac, would you be able to hold on to the PoV and you said yes.


Austin:  I'm sorry....I did throw it against James.. 

Vanessa:  EXCUSE ME?

Austin:  I mean, I didn't throw it against James.

Now Vanessa tells him that he could have solved the puzzle easily about two minutes before he actually did.

Austin:  You mean, against James?  It wasn't that fucking easy, until I went against Shelli, then I was like, okay...and I went too slow against Johnny Mac though...you're right.  I was gonna finish it though .....fuck....it wasn't like that though.....oh my god...



Austin:  Like, it wasn't like that.

(i.e. I think it looks like Austin threw it to Johnny Mac)

Vanessa, voice trembling:  It's fine...it just pisses me off because I just need one person I can fucking count on in this game....but whatever.



Austin, teeth clenched:  VANESSA! FUCK!  I WENT THREE FUCKING TIMES IN A ROW!

Vanessa:  OK dude. I don't want to fight right now, because if people hear us we're both fucked.

Austin:  I know.

(Austin doesn't know shit. He didn't even know there were twins in the house, and that Jeff hates him until  Vanessa told him Thursday morning. And he spent the entire morning today having an episode because Liz slept with James instead of him, when he could have been trying to understand this week's strategy.  Austin is , like a moron.)

Vanessa, trying to put her game face back on:  We have to go out there and be happy for Johnny Mac. It's fine.


They both breathe heavily.

Austin:  I'm telling you..that was not my intention.  I was trying to slow down so I wouldn't look like a beast. I was getting afraid that I was doing too well, 'cause everybody was saying "oh, he's killing it".

Vanessa, wheels turning:  It's fine...

Austin:  FUCK.

Vanessa:  Just, please don't act mad. You need to act right now.  If it comes out that I was rooting for you over Johnny Mac, that is extremely bad.  You know that, don't you?

Austin:  I know....oh Jesus....this fucking .....



It sounds like Austin did really poorly against James, and Vanessa can't believe that he didn't see the problem.  Sounds like it was luck for him to win against Shelli....I

Austin:  Look, I had a really hard time in there...I couldn't figure it out...I was trying to figure out the numbers in my head, but I'm not good with numbers at all..but when I got in there with Shelli, it was easy.

Vanessa:  This wasn't about numbers...it wasn't adding and subtracting...this was logic, this was spatial reasoning, this was IQ shit.

Austin: No, I'm not good at that kind of shit...AT ALL.

Vanessa: What do you mean? How can you get the second highest score on the iQ test and not be good at that shit?  You can fool some of the people some of the time...

ABRUPT CAMERA CHANGE TO DOWNSTAIRS.


***WELL WELL WELL***

Sounds like Austin overestimated his IQ scores when chatting with Vanessa.  Duh.  You think?

And unfortunately she is finding out the hard way.  He didn't throw it, he has no reason to and no one else in the house to rely on other than Vanessa.  He's just a dumbass.  And it won't be two hours before he starts whining about why Liz doesn't like him, and wondering what the WWE will think when they watch him on TV.  And she'll just have to swallow her real reaction and babysit him the way she's having to do with The Twins.

***HERE'S THE PROBLEM***

Vanessa knew this was a possible result today, and it wasn't the worst thing.  But now that John will be taking himself off the block, Vanessa will be expected by the house to nominate Audrey in his place.  And when she doesn't do that, she will be under a lot of suspicion that didn't need to be there if Austin had taken advantage of the opportunities she saw him throw away in the PoV comp.

He was looking out for himself, trying not to "look like a beast", rather than trying to carry out Vanessa's plan this week.  So now she's the one who will be damaged by this.  She can nominate Jeff, but then will have made an enemy out of the one who stays. And she doesn't want to nominate Audrey, since she's an ally.

Vanessa will play out the cards dealt to her and move on.  But it could have been better...the odds were better and she had to watch someone screw it up and pretend not to care.

Saturday Morning - Rise and Whine....and Whine....and Whine #BB17

Johnny Mac likes to shut out the world while he tries to sleep.  The entire downstairs area is very quiet..as everyone tries to sleep off the results of last night.


Later in the morning, the PoV Player Pick ceremony took place, and the following names were chosen to play.

Vanessa - picked Shelli's chip
Johnny Mack - got Houseguest's choice, and chose Austin
James - picked Audrey

Needless to say this is the best possible outcome for the Sixth Sense Alliance.  And also the Freaks and Geeks Alliance.  Vanessa told Austin that they are playing so strong, they should get in the car and head to Vegas.  Vanessa tried hard to control her facial expressions, but she couldn't help laughing when James pulled Audrey's chip and announced her name with a less-than-thrilled voice.

According to Vanessa, today's PoV competition can be summed up as follows:

Best Case Scenario - Audrey wins. She can either use it to save Johnny Mac and Jeff goes up on the block, and no one can blame Vanessa for not backdooring Audrey. 
Worst Case Scenario - James wins and saves himself.  Then Vanessa has to craft a reason and a story to nominate Jeff.
2nd Worse Case Scenario - Johnny Mac wins, and saves himself.  Then Vanessa has to get blood on her hands and justify not nominating Audrey.

They are going to try to throw it to Audrey, but have to be careful not to let Johnny Mac figure that out.  Shelli says it's hard for her to throw competitions, so Vanessa says once James is out of the running, she should do whatever is right for her.  And if there are prizes involved, they should just go for them after James is out of the competition.

But they did not discuss taking punishments.....an important part of many PoV comps.  

OK...now what about this whining that I promised you?  Oh, don't worry, I'm getting to it.  

Vanessa was enjoying the luxury of her HoH bathroom, trying to get ready for the day.  Austin comes upstairs, and is very upset about Liz.  Liz chose to sleep downstairs in the bed with James last night, and Austin can hardly contain himself.

It's like the 6th grade all over again.

Austin:  It's like, I thought she liked me, but like, how can she be down there with him? Does she just not like me, and like, not like me?  I'd like to think she liked me, but it's like, she doesn't seem like it.

And so on.


Vanessa had to snap into damage control mode with Austin, her own alliance member, as she tried to talk him down and calm him down.

Austin:  I like, thought we had a connection. Don't you think we have a spark?  I like, thought Liz and I had an understanding...do you think she might, like, like me?


Vanessa tried to calmly tell him that Liz was young, and then she brought up that everyone knows Austin has a girl friend, and that is probably part of the reason why the girls are keeping him at arm's length.

Vanessa:  No one here wants to walk out of here and get boo'ed onstage.  No one.  Remember that girl from last year?  No one wants that, and I'm sure that is on her mind.

(i.e. Christine)

Austin:  I'm not, like, looking for a showmance with her.  I just thought we like, had a connection.

Vanessa: Oh, you're not?

But then Austin wants Vanessa to like, ask Liz if she likes him.

Vanessa:  Do you want me to?  Do you really want to know?

(ha ha ha)

Austin said he once spent three years pursing someone without really knowing if she liked him or not.  Vanessa said that he needs to find out why he feels this way, that this is about more than just a relationship with one person.  (No kidding.)  She had to keep reminding him that the game they are playing is a long game, and they have the most alliances of anybody in there, and they need to stay sharp and clear to keep it all straight.

Vanessa:  I feel like I'm spinning plates!  And if I don't pay attention to one plate enough, it will fall! We only have this Twin thing for two more weeks after this...after that it will be easier to handle because they will be out to everybody.

They discussed how they are trying to keep The Twins' conversations with the people downstairs to a minimum to avoid them getting tripped up, and how getting in bed with James doesn't help anything.  Austin is just like, personally offended by it. Like, really he is.

Vanessa is putting together one good hair day after another lately. She's on a roll.


Let's take a refreshing break from Austin's relationship issues. Jason appeared in the kitchen, sporting his undies and putting his breakfast together.  Big Brother reminded everyone to "please clean the bathroom today, including the bathroom mirror".

Jason:  With some sass, too.. we are very sorry Sir! Please stop yelling at us!


Austin walked in and Jason greeting him with a smile in his voice.

Jason:   Good Morning Princess Protein!


Austin droned on about his various protein-filled breakfast options, and then left the room so Jason could assemble his bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam in peace.


It was crunchy and sounded delicious.  


Meanwhile Liz went up to the HoH and told Vanessa that she would be switching out with Julia within an hour.  They were surprised that it happened so soon---Liz expected to be there for a couple of days.


Vanessa quizzed her about what happened downstairs last night.  Liz says the guys kept talking about her and giving her shit, and obviously tried to get a look at the birthmark on her back (Julia's back) even though she's wearing a shirt that covers it up.


Liz is bummed.  She wanted to play in the PoV.

I think they probably call A Twin to the DR at a time when there is not a lot of traffic in the house, and then tell her to come back within an hour.  That gave Liz time to put on some basic makeup to match Julia, and to make a few plans before just showing up voluntarily in the DR to make the switch, avoiding additional suspicion by not being called to the DR over the intercom.


Then Austin came back up and heard the news about the pending Twin switch.

Vanessa:  Be sure to tell your sister this...and that...and the other...

Austin: I'm so upset...I wanted to cry last night.  Why wouldn't you sleep up here with me last night?


He went on, and on, and on.  I think Vanessa could tell that Austin was being too hard on Liz, and she tried to intervene in a calm manner.

(She is aware that The Twins could jump ship and align with the other side of the house, if they want to....)


Liz said goodbye to them but before she left Austin asked her to come over and hug him goodbye.  So she did.


And then just when you think that Vanessa can finish getting ready for the day and enjoy doing it, the doorbell rings and it is Audrey.


Audrey knows that the house thinks Vanessa and Austin hate it when she visits them, so they know that is a good cover story.  They were hoping Audrey would get picked for the PoV, and they discussed how they wanted her to win and think no one in the house knows she is working with them. (i.e. the Sleeper Cell Alliance).

The cameras rotated and whirred to catch all of this morning drama.

Audrey:  I wish I had on my makeup right now.



Meanwhile Johnny Mac sits alone, getting ready mentally for the competition.  I guess.  No one really knows what the hell Johnny Mac is really thinking about.


And we can only guess what is rolling around Austin's brain.  I tell you what, Robyn Kass found some real characters this year.  It's keeping us all busy, all the time.

While Audrey was having the conversation with them, the doorbell rang and A Twin came in, saying hi off camera while the conversation continued.  I wondered, does Liz have something else to say to them?  Does she need Audrey to leave?   The cameras weren't focused on The Twin, but I knew she was in the room.


Then I saw her laying there with her face partially covered, so I knew it was Julia.  That was a fast switch.


After Audrey left Julia stood up and said hello!  It's her first time in the HoH room with her new alliance, and you could tell she was loving it.


Vanessa:  Listen, she slept downstairs with James last night.

Julia:  WHAT? I hate James!  I'm just staying up here all day....

Vanessa: But you need to get over that right now....you like him now.  And you need to put your feelings aside about Jeff and get in the game now.

(Note Vanessa still hasn't had time to finish getting ready, and to get dressed.  It's been one damn thing after another up there.)


Julia:  Oh it's so bad, because I have this big zit on my lip....how can I go down there with this on me?  Should I just say I woke up with a planet on my face?

Vanessa:  No, because I kind of noticed it last time, and put a little spot on your sister's lip with makeup.

Julia is delighted.


Vanessa tells her that the guys downstairs have been trying to go through her things, wear her hats, and they talk about wanting to see her birthmark.

Julia is alarmed.  Vanessa tells her, make sure they see it today....because you're the one who has it.  Don't wear the bikini, but make sure people see it.


Julia does a polish change. Austin came in and told her about the nominations, and described the BoB competition.


Austin:  We went out there, and there was a big bottle of champagne for Vanessa and me..

Vanessa: You drank almost the whole bottle, plus 4 beers...

Julia:  Uh!  I'M SO JEALOUS.

Austin says they had to pick fabrics and match them to the bikinis and purses that the 10 people in the backyard were wearing.  James had such a hard time that they wondered if he was throwing the competition because he may feel so comfortable in the game.

Vanessa:  Can you imagine that?  Ha ha ha...the irony of that..

Austin:  It was fashion, though, so maybe that's not James' bag.  But Jason and Meg were great at it.

Julia:  Well yeah! Put the gay guy out there on that!  Jason loves fashion!

Austin's nominations won the BoB, so he got doused with something and kept slipping and sliding.  He claims that he did some wrestling falls and flips to make people laugh.  He said that Jeff  quickly talked with some blonde out there and kept saying she was hitting on him and now it's a big joke.


Vanessa left the room, so Austin started whining AGAIN about Liz sleeping downstairs and, like, upsetting him so much.

Austin:  Why doesn't she like me?  What is going on?

Julia has no idea.  (And if she did, she damn sure didn't tell him.)

Austin:  You look like you've lost weight....are you stressed and not eating?

Julia:  Yeah...

Austin:  And your sister is stressed and eating....here, take these and eat them (throws bag of sweet potato chips at her).

Julia:  OK.  But with only two more weeks...I don't want to have to gain 5 pounds!


That's a high quality problem, if you ask me.


***UPDATE***

Vanessa figured out that James did throw the competition so that Meg would be safe, because he likes her.

Vanessa:  He wants to be like Caleb, saving Amber...a romantic gesture.

Last Night's Drunken Battle of the Block Party - Skanks and Dranks, No Thanks. #BB17

Meg and Jason won the BoB last night.  That's two in a row for Jason. While I'm sure getting nominated for eviction is no picnic, winning the BoB must be a great relief, as you are then safe for the week, which is more than anyone else can say (other than Vanessa the HoH).

I think it's safe to say that everyone who didn't play in the BoB got schmammered, because it was some sort of party with booze, bubbles, and according to Jeff, a bunch of "blonde skanks".  I also heard Jason say later that there were some men for him to ogle, too.  Apparently the players had to look for certain items and get the assorted skanks and hunks through the maze while surrounded by bubbles or foam.  They may have even had to go in that Black Box (not my favorite comp to watch on TV).

Jason and Meg were good at this, apparently. James was not, and admitted he "did nothing out there" and took the blame for the loss.  (So once again, we really don't know if Johnny Mac threw the comp or not...because his partner was a dud.)  Maybe James was mesmerized by all of those skanks.  I did hear him say he "smacked a few girls by mistake".  Uh huh.  Meanwhile everyone else was chugging down all of the booze they could, while they could do it.

Meg went upstairs to talk to Vanessa right afterwards.  She was feeling pumped about the win and I'm sure she wanted to start playing the role of Understanding Pawn Who is Not Bitter About Being Nominated.  She also wanted to find out who Vanessa was targeting this week.  Vanessa gave Meg the impression that she wanted to target Audrey this week, but she was scared of retribution, probably from Shelli and Clay (who she is secretly aligned with, in several different ways).


Then Meg went straight into the storage room with Jeff, where they proceeded to disparage Vanessa as a coward who is being controlled by fears of Ken and Barbie.  Jeff was clearly wasted, and I have to say that if you dislike Sober Jeff, you are really in for a treat with Drunk Jeff.  Without a filter, Jeff is a despicable mess.  And he's so full of himself, he has no idea that he is the target this week.

Jeff threatens to "go right up there" and tell Vanessa what to do.  Because she's so stupid, I guess.

(Note that Vanessa has been laughing about how she's perceived at being weak and bossed around by Clay and Shelli.  The Lady Maverick scoffs at that idea currently being popularized by Jeff, whose game is getting messier and messier by the day.)


Meanwhile, the BoB losers congregate in the bedroom, dealing with their new reality.  Oh, and Steve was in there, too.


Liz was buzzed out there in the backyard, too.


Shelli seemed to be slurring a little, too.



Once Liz left the room, Vanessa told Austin that Liz might not have the skills to make this Twin Twist happen.  She was apparently guzzling the booze and talking too much out there in the backyard.  Vanessa tells Austin that she might be too immature to make their Sixth Sense plan work, and that could be a liability for them.


Austin appears to understand this risk, and they agree to keep an eye on it and keep some alternative measures in mind if they need to cut loose from one Twin or Another.

FYI...Austin said he was "gone" out there tonight and had some drinks, too.  (I'll bet.)  Last night he was all about Jackie....he wants to get a piece of that and was pretty sloppy about saying so.  (What about his girlfriend at home?  Do vampires practice polyamory? Is biting prohibited in the BB contestant contracts?)

NOTE:  Vanessa is not planning to cut The Twins now...she is just being a good strategist and wants to consider options for what happens if the cards flop down the river.  Or however you would make a clever analogy about all of this.  (God knows I loved my Police Officer Analogies last year.)


Jason went in storage with Austin and was friendly enough, as Austin rummaged around looking for meat, probably.  Jason is smart enough to subtly let the person who nominated him know that he's not going to hold a grudge.  I mean, outwardly.



According to Jeff and Austin, Becky was practically licking booze off the artificial turf tonight.


Jackie and Meg had a long conversation tonight.  In case I forgot to tell you, Drunk Jeff talked to Austin about Jackie.  Austin basically acts like he wants Jeff to put a note in Jackie's locker, to ask her if she likes Austin.

(YOU'RE A GROWN MAN AUSTIN LOCKED IN A HOUSE WITH JACKIE. IF YOU CAN'T GET IT YOURSELF THAN YOU CAN'T GET IT.)

Austin:  But you, like had sex with her, right?  You said you did...on The Amazing Race?

Jeff:  Yeah...it's not that hard to do...

Austin:  How many times did you do it?

And so on.  And we all saw Jeff's early DR session saying that Jackie was the one who wanted more from their Blind Date relationship than Jeff did.  Because Jeff is such a single and successful guy.

Also:

Austin told Vanessa that "Production told him that the BB16 girls had really low IQ scores".  Vanessa said she thinks this year's cast has a high average IQ and Austin agreed.

(Think about it....Amber.....Britanny...fucking Pao Pao...ha ha ha and I haven't even mentioned Victoria.  Nicole and Christine can only bring up the average score so high with that mess.  It's like trying to pull up your GPA in your senior year...it just ain't gonna happen.)


Da'Vonne was right about Thickems wearing that "damn cat beanie" every damn day.


I'm just not down with men who wear nail polish when they are not onstage playing in front of a stadium-sized audience.  And even then, I'm kind of sketched out.  I would expect them to remove it later, after the show.

But Austin's look doesn't rub off.  Not even with a Brillo pad.

Yes, that was probably a subliminal reference.  Because, Brillo.


Steve came up to the HoH and is really leaning into his own perceived power role within the Freaks and Geeks alliance.  He actually thinks he has to advise Vanessa about who needs to really go home this week.  Vanessa finally told him that her actual target is not Audrey, but probably Jeff or James.

Steve:  You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that.

This is really a big flashback to BB14, when Ian thought he was the one who created the Quack Pack, and that he was one of the leaders of that alliance.  In reality, he invited himself into an alliance that already existed, and was just a little side deal for the rest of them.  The rest of the Quack Pack tried to get rid of Ian several times, and it wasn't until he got home to watch the CBS shows that he realized he "walked ass backwards into that win".

But Ian Terry won, so there's that.  Ian also had a little social capital for being friends in the house with Britney Haynes.  Steve doesn't have that, or anything close to it.  He is very brusque when he speaks with people, and very impatient when blurting out his ideas. I heard Johnny Mac say about Steve that "you really get what you see", because at first I think he thought Steve was hiding a more complex identity, and maybe a secret.  But he's not. It's all out there...and it's not always good, to be honest.


Austin told Vanessa that he hopes "they" have been watching him work out in the backyard, and see that he is strong enough to still be a professional wrestler.  Also that he is "working on a character".

Besides Judas?  What character would that be?  A vampire or vampire stalker?  A Bro Code activist?  What the hell?

He also told Liz that she and he sister would be a great wrestling tag team, and he could set her up with a few connections in that area.

Liz:  Oh hell yeah!  I would love that.

Austin:  They're right there in Orlando, so...

Liz:  Oh, but then I'd have to actually practice wrestling, so...no...


OK.  I've heard people say online that Vanessa feels that her true intention is for no one to use the PoV, so that James goes home.  THAT IS NOT CORRECT.

When she said that, the team was merely coming up with a Plan B if they can't put Jeff up on the block this week.  Let me break it down for you.

*  Vanessa's best hope is that Johnny Mac wins the PoV, and saves himself.  Then Vanessa can put up Jeff against James and push for Jeff to go bye-bye.
*  But the house thinks she is going to backdoor Audrey, so she knows once Jeff goes on the block, her position in the game will be somewhat exposed.
*  If Jeff wins the PoV (or someone else), then she doesn't want anyone to use the PoV, because the house will expect her to backdoor Audrey.
*  Vanessa doesn't want to do that, so she doesn't want to get put into a position where she has to defend not doing that, and risk the backlash that will come with that.
*  So that is why Vanessa said that IN THIS CASE it would be better for the nominations to stay the same, and for James to go home.
*  And if that happens, Vanessa is going to start a campaign against James, probably using his misogynist comments about women to make her case.  Because she does not want Johnny Mac to go home this week---a total waste of her HoH.
*  As a Plan C, Vanessa might even use that campaign to make everyone think that her target is James, to try and take away the focus from not backdooring Audrey, should another nomination chair open up on Monday?
*  Make sense?
*  So they are still gunning for the New Big Jeff.  The PoV competition will be held later today (Saturday), so we'll know soon enough if Vanessa has a winning hand, or winning plan of action.
*  Note that the worst case scenario is if Jeff wins the PoV, and saves James.  Then Vanessa will have a problem....and all the Cheez-It's she can eat.


Clay's hair stands at attention, listening to every word.  Last night Becky told Jeff that Clay had a ranch that was, like 200 acres, with a lake and everything.

Becky: His mom is a veterinarian.

Jeff:  Really?  I'll have to ask Clay about that.

(After three weeks, Jeff doesn't know Clay at all?  BTW, Jeff's dad is a retired auto mechanic, and his mom does some sort of restaurant work.  So if Jeff wanted Becky to start Digging His Gold, that ain't gonna happen.  Particularly after he told her he is in between sales jobs and doesn't own a car because he can get a free car as a sales rep.)


The food of the day is blueberry muffins. So get out there today and enjoy those delicious cakey treats, studded with antioxidants.


Last night Liz and Vanessa laughed about what Julia told Liz during their DR room briefing during the Twin Switch.

Liz:  She said "Vanessa wants me to tell you to stop eating!"

They giggled but Liz was eating gummi bears at the time.  Vanessa snatched the bag from her and said "Stop it!"  It was funny.

But just a few hours later, Liz and Austin were lounging in the HoH Suite and this happened.

Liz:  What could we eat?

Austin:  We could open up that bag of sweet potato chips.

Liz:  OH YES!  YES!

That bag was hardly opened before Liz was double-fisting those orange treats, oohing and aahing with delight.  I guess she needed to hurry,before Vanessa came back in the room.  Vanessa doesn't just count cards, she can count Liz's calories as well.


And speaking of Vanessa, that is a picture of her and her girlfriend Mel on the table top.


This is Jeff having his little talk with Becky.  She later told Clay, after swearing him to secrecy, that she heard Jeff talks about backdooring her every day.

(These jokes just write themselves, people.)

So now Clay knows that Becky will be happy to vote out Jeff if given the opportunity.  And I still love those bubble lights, and the way they reflect in all of the one-way mirrors.  At first I thought, damn, Becky's feet are dirty.  But she's wearing those Mouse Slippers, which aren't exactly sparkly-fresh, either.


Jackie made the mistake of mentioning her back problems in front of Austin, who promptly started touching the merchandise and spouting off names of muscles and tendons.



Jackie blamed her injury on her dance partner, saying that they did some moves that he messed up the first time.  She shows Austin how he twirls her by the arm, and says they had to do that for several shows per day, a certain number of days per week.


Austin didn't want to let go.  Is he staring at her neck right now?  Looking for his spot?


Becky is watching...is she jealous?  Concerned for Jackie?  Suspicious of Austin? Is she Digging his Gold?


Ugh. I think I just burped up my blueberry muffin.


I've missed Jason.  It feels like I haven't seen him in weeks.  You know, since Da'Vonne left.




FYI - The ice cream that they keep in the kitchen freezer is never really cold enough to eat.  It is mushy, since that freezer door is opened so many times during the day.  Jason put the mint chocolate chip ice cream back in the freezer in the storage room, where it stays perfectly freezy.

OK.  These are for you.  You know who you are.  You're welcome.