Saturday, July 11, 2015

Last Night's Drunken Battle of the Block Party - Skanks and Dranks, No Thanks. #BB17

Meg and Jason won the BoB last night.  That's two in a row for Jason. While I'm sure getting nominated for eviction is no picnic, winning the BoB must be a great relief, as you are then safe for the week, which is more than anyone else can say (other than Vanessa the HoH).

I think it's safe to say that everyone who didn't play in the BoB got schmammered, because it was some sort of party with booze, bubbles, and according to Jeff, a bunch of "blonde skanks".  I also heard Jason say later that there were some men for him to ogle, too.  Apparently the players had to look for certain items and get the assorted skanks and hunks through the maze while surrounded by bubbles or foam.  They may have even had to go in that Black Box (not my favorite comp to watch on TV).

Jason and Meg were good at this, apparently. James was not, and admitted he "did nothing out there" and took the blame for the loss.  (So once again, we really don't know if Johnny Mac threw the comp or not...because his partner was a dud.)  Maybe James was mesmerized by all of those skanks.  I did hear him say he "smacked a few girls by mistake".  Uh huh.  Meanwhile everyone else was chugging down all of the booze they could, while they could do it.

Meg went upstairs to talk to Vanessa right afterwards.  She was feeling pumped about the win and I'm sure she wanted to start playing the role of Understanding Pawn Who is Not Bitter About Being Nominated.  She also wanted to find out who Vanessa was targeting this week.  Vanessa gave Meg the impression that she wanted to target Audrey this week, but she was scared of retribution, probably from Shelli and Clay (who she is secretly aligned with, in several different ways).


Then Meg went straight into the storage room with Jeff, where they proceeded to disparage Vanessa as a coward who is being controlled by fears of Ken and Barbie.  Jeff was clearly wasted, and I have to say that if you dislike Sober Jeff, you are really in for a treat with Drunk Jeff.  Without a filter, Jeff is a despicable mess.  And he's so full of himself, he has no idea that he is the target this week.

Jeff threatens to "go right up there" and tell Vanessa what to do.  Because she's so stupid, I guess.

(Note that Vanessa has been laughing about how she's perceived at being weak and bossed around by Clay and Shelli.  The Lady Maverick scoffs at that idea currently being popularized by Jeff, whose game is getting messier and messier by the day.)


Meanwhile, the BoB losers congregate in the bedroom, dealing with their new reality.  Oh, and Steve was in there, too.


Liz was buzzed out there in the backyard, too.


Shelli seemed to be slurring a little, too.



Once Liz left the room, Vanessa told Austin that Liz might not have the skills to make this Twin Twist happen.  She was apparently guzzling the booze and talking too much out there in the backyard.  Vanessa tells Austin that she might be too immature to make their Sixth Sense plan work, and that could be a liability for them.


Austin appears to understand this risk, and they agree to keep an eye on it and keep some alternative measures in mind if they need to cut loose from one Twin or Another.

FYI...Austin said he was "gone" out there tonight and had some drinks, too.  (I'll bet.)  Last night he was all about Jackie....he wants to get a piece of that and was pretty sloppy about saying so.  (What about his girlfriend at home?  Do vampires practice polyamory? Is biting prohibited in the BB contestant contracts?)

NOTE:  Vanessa is not planning to cut The Twins now...she is just being a good strategist and wants to consider options for what happens if the cards flop down the river.  Or however you would make a clever analogy about all of this.  (God knows I loved my Police Officer Analogies last year.)


Jason went in storage with Austin and was friendly enough, as Austin rummaged around looking for meat, probably.  Jason is smart enough to subtly let the person who nominated him know that he's not going to hold a grudge.  I mean, outwardly.



According to Jeff and Austin, Becky was practically licking booze off the artificial turf tonight.


Jackie and Meg had a long conversation tonight.  In case I forgot to tell you, Drunk Jeff talked to Austin about Jackie.  Austin basically acts like he wants Jeff to put a note in Jackie's locker, to ask her if she likes Austin.

(YOU'RE A GROWN MAN AUSTIN LOCKED IN A HOUSE WITH JACKIE. IF YOU CAN'T GET IT YOURSELF THAN YOU CAN'T GET IT.)

Austin:  But you, like had sex with her, right?  You said you did...on The Amazing Race?

Jeff:  Yeah...it's not that hard to do...

Austin:  How many times did you do it?

And so on.  And we all saw Jeff's early DR session saying that Jackie was the one who wanted more from their Blind Date relationship than Jeff did.  Because Jeff is such a single and successful guy.

Also:

Austin told Vanessa that "Production told him that the BB16 girls had really low IQ scores".  Vanessa said she thinks this year's cast has a high average IQ and Austin agreed.

(Think about it....Amber.....Britanny...fucking Pao Pao...ha ha ha and I haven't even mentioned Victoria.  Nicole and Christine can only bring up the average score so high with that mess.  It's like trying to pull up your GPA in your senior year...it just ain't gonna happen.)


Da'Vonne was right about Thickems wearing that "damn cat beanie" every damn day.


I'm just not down with men who wear nail polish when they are not onstage playing in front of a stadium-sized audience.  And even then, I'm kind of sketched out.  I would expect them to remove it later, after the show.

But Austin's look doesn't rub off.  Not even with a Brillo pad.

Yes, that was probably a subliminal reference.  Because, Brillo.


Steve came up to the HoH and is really leaning into his own perceived power role within the Freaks and Geeks alliance.  He actually thinks he has to advise Vanessa about who needs to really go home this week.  Vanessa finally told him that her actual target is not Audrey, but probably Jeff or James.

Steve:  You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that.

This is really a big flashback to BB14, when Ian thought he was the one who created the Quack Pack, and that he was one of the leaders of that alliance.  In reality, he invited himself into an alliance that already existed, and was just a little side deal for the rest of them.  The rest of the Quack Pack tried to get rid of Ian several times, and it wasn't until he got home to watch the CBS shows that he realized he "walked ass backwards into that win".

But Ian Terry won, so there's that.  Ian also had a little social capital for being friends in the house with Britney Haynes.  Steve doesn't have that, or anything close to it.  He is very brusque when he speaks with people, and very impatient when blurting out his ideas. I heard Johnny Mac say about Steve that "you really get what you see", because at first I think he thought Steve was hiding a more complex identity, and maybe a secret.  But he's not. It's all out there...and it's not always good, to be honest.


Austin told Vanessa that he hopes "they" have been watching him work out in the backyard, and see that he is strong enough to still be a professional wrestler.  Also that he is "working on a character".

Besides Judas?  What character would that be?  A vampire or vampire stalker?  A Bro Code activist?  What the hell?

He also told Liz that she and he sister would be a great wrestling tag team, and he could set her up with a few connections in that area.

Liz:  Oh hell yeah!  I would love that.

Austin:  They're right there in Orlando, so...

Liz:  Oh, but then I'd have to actually practice wrestling, so...no...


OK.  I've heard people say online that Vanessa feels that her true intention is for no one to use the PoV, so that James goes home.  THAT IS NOT CORRECT.

When she said that, the team was merely coming up with a Plan B if they can't put Jeff up on the block this week.  Let me break it down for you.

*  Vanessa's best hope is that Johnny Mac wins the PoV, and saves himself.  Then Vanessa can put up Jeff against James and push for Jeff to go bye-bye.
*  But the house thinks she is going to backdoor Audrey, so she knows once Jeff goes on the block, her position in the game will be somewhat exposed.
*  If Jeff wins the PoV (or someone else), then she doesn't want anyone to use the PoV, because the house will expect her to backdoor Audrey.
*  Vanessa doesn't want to do that, so she doesn't want to get put into a position where she has to defend not doing that, and risk the backlash that will come with that.
*  So that is why Vanessa said that IN THIS CASE it would be better for the nominations to stay the same, and for James to go home.
*  And if that happens, Vanessa is going to start a campaign against James, probably using his misogynist comments about women to make her case.  Because she does not want Johnny Mac to go home this week---a total waste of her HoH.
*  As a Plan C, Vanessa might even use that campaign to make everyone think that her target is James, to try and take away the focus from not backdooring Audrey, should another nomination chair open up on Monday?
*  Make sense?
*  So they are still gunning for the New Big Jeff.  The PoV competition will be held later today (Saturday), so we'll know soon enough if Vanessa has a winning hand, or winning plan of action.
*  Note that the worst case scenario is if Jeff wins the PoV, and saves James.  Then Vanessa will have a problem....and all the Cheez-It's she can eat.


Clay's hair stands at attention, listening to every word.  Last night Becky told Jeff that Clay had a ranch that was, like 200 acres, with a lake and everything.

Becky: His mom is a veterinarian.

Jeff:  Really?  I'll have to ask Clay about that.

(After three weeks, Jeff doesn't know Clay at all?  BTW, Jeff's dad is a retired auto mechanic, and his mom does some sort of restaurant work.  So if Jeff wanted Becky to start Digging His Gold, that ain't gonna happen.  Particularly after he told her he is in between sales jobs and doesn't own a car because he can get a free car as a sales rep.)


The food of the day is blueberry muffins. So get out there today and enjoy those delicious cakey treats, studded with antioxidants.


Last night Liz and Vanessa laughed about what Julia told Liz during their DR room briefing during the Twin Switch.

Liz:  She said "Vanessa wants me to tell you to stop eating!"

They giggled but Liz was eating gummi bears at the time.  Vanessa snatched the bag from her and said "Stop it!"  It was funny.

But just a few hours later, Liz and Austin were lounging in the HoH Suite and this happened.

Liz:  What could we eat?

Austin:  We could open up that bag of sweet potato chips.

Liz:  OH YES!  YES!

That bag was hardly opened before Liz was double-fisting those orange treats, oohing and aahing with delight.  I guess she needed to hurry,before Vanessa came back in the room.  Vanessa doesn't just count cards, she can count Liz's calories as well.


And speaking of Vanessa, that is a picture of her and her girlfriend Mel on the table top.


This is Jeff having his little talk with Becky.  She later told Clay, after swearing him to secrecy, that she heard Jeff talks about backdooring her every day.

(These jokes just write themselves, people.)

So now Clay knows that Becky will be happy to vote out Jeff if given the opportunity.  And I still love those bubble lights, and the way they reflect in all of the one-way mirrors.  At first I thought, damn, Becky's feet are dirty.  But she's wearing those Mouse Slippers, which aren't exactly sparkly-fresh, either.


Jackie made the mistake of mentioning her back problems in front of Austin, who promptly started touching the merchandise and spouting off names of muscles and tendons.



Jackie blamed her injury on her dance partner, saying that they did some moves that he messed up the first time.  She shows Austin how he twirls her by the arm, and says they had to do that for several shows per day, a certain number of days per week.


Austin didn't want to let go.  Is he staring at her neck right now?  Looking for his spot?


Becky is watching...is she jealous?  Concerned for Jackie?  Suspicious of Austin? Is she Digging his Gold?


Ugh. I think I just burped up my blueberry muffin.


I've missed Jason.  It feels like I haven't seen him in weeks.  You know, since Da'Vonne left.




FYI - The ice cream that they keep in the kitchen freezer is never really cold enough to eat.  It is mushy, since that freezer door is opened so many times during the day.  Jason put the mint chocolate chip ice cream back in the freezer in the storage room, where it stays perfectly freezy.

OK.  These are for you.  You know who you are.  You're welcome.



6 comments :

  1. Did you hear Austin tell Liz how dry his hair was last night? He rubbed it a little for emphasis, and it sounded like rubbing sandpaper. So not only is he big and hairy, but I would think that snuggling him would be a very itchy ordeal with all that dry hair. Maybe his girlfriend at home is glad to be rid of him. She can finally toss out all of her Gold Bond.
    I miss Jason too. Is he just laying low? I kind of thought Becky might have been in to Johnny, but he certainly isn't an NFL player. So, I guess not, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gold Bond...ha ha ha ha ha.

      Maybe the GF at home wants him to drag Jackie into their dungeon by her hair so they can both have at her. I don't like to drag the poor family members into this, but I'm pretty sure she's no Mary Poppins.

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  2. I'm so happy to have stumbled upon you blog! Really detailed with great pictures - and funny too! I can't wish for more :D

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    Replies
    1. I guess you had dranks, too. You know, with the stumbling and all.

      Thanks!

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  3. Im Happy ur talking about the FOOD again... i've missed all the Food Talk u used to do... u have missed the past 2 Wed's at midnight when they all cook up a strom for the HN's to finally eat, lol ... :-)

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  4. I talked about the Midnight Feast two weeks ago...

    http://bigbrotherlivefeedupdates.blogspot.com/2015/07/clays-good-deed-gets-punished-well-sort.html

    I didn't even have time to watch the Feast last week, though. There is too much game chaos for me to cover, but I'm always mentioning the food that I see them eating if I can.

    One of my favorites was when I watched Danielle Murphree for 20 minutes and reported on everything she ate during that time period. It was astounding! So many carbs!

    ReplyDelete

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