Thursday, July 9, 2015

Clearance on All Cameras - Insults, Explosions and Betrayals...Oh My! #BB17

Things have been moving so fast in the BB house that almost as soon as I report something, it's outdated.  It's frustrating, but I will try to cover the most important things during my posts today to get us all up-to-date before tonight's live show.  And speaking of tonight's live show, I have a few comments about it:

1.  They need to show us the Kathy Griffin phone calls---the Last Laugh Takeover Twist.

2.  They need to address the Twin Twist blow up---I think they will do that based on some insipid CBS tweets about it last night.  By the way, those tweets aren't really meant for us....they know we already know everything, but they're trying to lasso in the casuals and pull them into CBS online.  Because, I guess our TV sets will be totally obsolete in the next decade or so.

3.  They need to show Da'Vonne's efforts to stay in the house.  We know she made some huge mistakes, but she ended up trying to put something together.  I don't think I will like the eventual result, but it should make for good TV tonight.

4.  Plus, they have to have the live vote and eviction, the evictee interview with Julie Chen, and the live HoH competition.

How in the world are they going to fit all of that into a one-hour show?

OK. Here we go.

Right after Da'Vonne had that sit-down with "Liz" (really, it was "Cruella"), Liz sauntered back down the hall to the living room and Austin started doing some chiropractic moves on her back.  Talking about how tight she was, and how one side of her body was tilted.  Johnny Mac was leaning over one of the couches for part of it, watching.

John:  How'd you get tilted, Liz?

Liz:  I don't know.


Austin had her turn over and pulled her feet. She said her back cracked and it looked like it felt good.  I was really only watching this to see if Liz would start the conversation with him about voting for Day to stay, as freshly-promised.  I didn't hear that, though.

But I have to say, based on what I know, Austin and Audrey are the only house guests who were not told about the Twin Twist.  Maybe they already know, but I like the fact that the two of them are the oblivious ones.  Audrey, because she's such an effing Know-It-All about Big Brother, and Austin, because he's obviously obsessed with "Liz" and has had his eyes and hands all over both of them in one way or another.

(I heard one Twin, Liz I think (or "Thickems") tell Jeff that Austin really skeeved her out and she knew that he had a crush on her, and that his reported girlfriend at home was "the saving grace".)


Now this next little scene really pissed me off.  Jeff, Meg and Austin sat in the bathroom and basically ripped Steve Moses a new one.  We all are aware that Jeff is an ass, as well as a pig, and I've said before that although I like Meg, she has some Mean Girl qualities and is part of the Kool Kids Klub.  But before you read the following tidbits from this conversation, please recall that Austin preached in the pre-season about the harmful effects of bullying, and how he wants to win BB in order to fund some sort of anti-bully crusade.  (Maybe that was really Judas saying that shit...)

*  Jeff started the whole Let's Bash Steve session by saying that "how would one become friends with Steve?", and  Austin started listing various nerd websites and video games.
*  Jeff lamented that Steve has been getting more and more vocal, and louder, so it's harder to get away from him.  Jeff doesn't know if he can take this much longer.
*  Meg piled on by mentioning how horrific it is when Steve shows up in the bedroom while they are trying to have a conversation, and he just stands there.
*  Austin feels that his "worst nightmare" would be to be one of the first two BB Jury members, stuck in that house with Steve.  (Jeff:  Dude...oh my god...no.)
*  They could hear Steve talking in the kitchen, and Austin said "Did you hear that?  Steve just can't deal with the gay issues in here, or with slop either.  His fucking Mommy isn't here to pack his fucking lunch."  (Meg and Jeff:  Tee hee hee hee!)

Now, does that sound like someone who wants to be paid money to help advise kids that are being bullied?  DOES IT?

I submit to you the idea that Austin is just a bigger, older, much crustier version of Steve, but with more hair and demonic tattoos.  Because clearly Austin has some social issues, too, including not picking up on social cues like he should.  I submit the following proof:

*  The fucking BRO CODE with his former best friend Jace that made all of us CRINGE.
*  His inability to distinguish one Twin from the other Twin, even though he has his eyes and sometimes his hands all over them.  He also "trains" them in the backyard...wouldn't he notice differences in their stamina and abilities?  I mean, if he wasn't a moronic imbecile?

I'm already tired of Austin, and tired of typing about him.  I peeped some of  his issues last week, or a million years ago.  You can see that here, because I'm moving on.


Yesterday afternoon, Audrey and Da'Vonne kicked it off again.  Day was being so loud that at first I thought she was trying to make a scene on purpose, as part of strategy, but she ended up crying so much that I changed my mind.

OK, so I already included the link above about Day's meeting with "Liz" yesterday, and their agreement that Liz would vote for Day to stay, and work to get Austin's vote.  "Liz" went into the Diary Room, and then this new drama started.

Actually, I was watching another camera feed when Jason came running in the room to tell the group that Day was reading Audrey and screaming at her, so we all scrambled down the hallway to see what was going on.

(Can Jason just not help himself?  Because at first I did think he and Day planned this, but now I think Jason might just be trying to make a name for himself in there separate from his Apple Scrapple Da'Vonne.  Because I don't think this is Ride Or Die material, but maybe I just don't understand that concept properly.)

As usual, Audrey is in her element in the heat of things, talking very loudly and crisply as she turns the tables on Day.  From what I could gather, Audrey told a bunch of people that Meg told her that Liz would be voting for Da'Vonne to stay this week, and then Meg said Day was trying to "flip the house".

(Uh...wouldn't you try to do that this week if you were Da'Vonne?  Flip the house?  Of course.)


Day totally denied this whole story, but I'm sure in the back of her mind she was thinking that "Liz" talked about their conversation, thus backstabbing her in the worst possible way.

While Day was speaking, she saw James trying to hide in the corner with some sort of box over his head, and said "James...I hate you right now.".

(So funny.)


Day left the room very upset.  And Audrey went right upstairs to the Ken and Barbie HoH Suite,asking if she could "shower up there" and proceeded to spin the whole story to make is seem like "Mama Demon" was fighting to stay in the house.

As you might imagine, Ken and Barbie placated her, and did a lot of active listening.  (Maybe they can all discuss it further next week in their dentist chairs in the Have Not room.)


You could hear poor sad Da'Vonne in the WC, honking her nose and trying to pull it together.

(Let's all remember there are 15 people in that house right now, and two toilets.  That is just crazy to me.  There is a port-a-potty outside but they only use it during long outdoor lockdowns.  The door to it is locked but they all know where the key is.  They had to put that port-a-potty out there after, in a previous season, several of the girls nearly (or maybe actually) peed their pants after hours of being stuck outside.  I think it might have been during BB7, but we'll have to check with Jason about that.)


Jason just sat at the counter while Audrey addressed the group in her Audrey-like way.  If Meg is nervous about all of this, she sure doesn't show it.


Day came back in the kitchen and sat at the counter, her wheels turning.  Clay came down to talk to her, and she had a heartbreaking moment with him.


Day:  Look.  How do you think it makes me feel for you and your woman to put me on the block, saying you don't trust me....that you trust HER over me.  How do you think that makes me feel?

And with that, she walked off to cry alone again somewhere.


It's a tough time to be Day's Main Apple Scrapple.


I do like Meg, and she's fun to watch on the live feeds, but I sure was hoping she'd get the boot this week.  But the odds of that happening are getting smaller and smaller,unfortunately.


Day tried to breathe and pull herself together.  She would probably like to go into the DR for privacy, but "Liz" is still in there, remember?


Vanessa came back there and gave Day a big genuine hug, which made Da'Vonne cry again, of course.


Vanessa:  You're strong.  You've got this.

(Well, yes and no.  Yes and no, Vanessa.)


Audrey, platooning in the Ken and Barbie HoH Suite.  Shelli just stayed in bed through the whole thing...it interrupted her nap.  Later, she and Clay kind of agreed that Audrey was just stirring shit and making stuff up.

(Ken and Barbie could make this up to all of us by keeping Day in the house to fight their battles.)


Meanwhile, the group was still waiting to see if Thickems would come waddling down the hallway from the DR, after switching out with Cruella.

Meg:  She's been in there at least 15 minutes!

(Yesterday each house guest filmed their goodbye messages om the DR.  I suspect that even if Production did want to make a Twin Twist switch, the situation was just too hot at that moment, with most of the house waiting right outside the door to examine the poor girl.  And they don't have time for much extra drama this week on the CBS episodes, as we discussed earlier.)

(But maybe they let Cruella talk to Thickems for a moment, because what happened is significant to their game, and they need to at least discuss it to figure out what to do. Just a guess.)

Big Reveal:  Cruella came back down the hallway, and there was no switch.  She walked right through the living room, saying that she needed to "go put on her bra".

Jason:  Who goes in the DR with no bra on?

And Cruella told Day that in the middle of the night Meg approached her on her way to the bathroom and asked her about her vote.  She said she said she might vote for Day because of the Fast Forward, but she wasn't sure.  She swore up and down that she didn't overshare about her promises to Day.

And Day believed her, knowing once again that Audrey is a lying schemer, but also knowing there isn't much she can do about it.

***ALSO***

I started watching the Jeff and Austin show to watch "Liz" in the "Hot Seat", but I haven't found the footage yet and am not sure I have time to care right now.  I know they caught her in some sort of lie about a blind date, but frankly that is small potatoes compared to what is going on now.

They did have the "Jeff and Austin" show in the living room, and featured products from their sponsors on the coffee table.  That part was funny.  The sponsors were some hair gel, Irish Spring soap, Trojan condoms, dental dams, and a log of frozen ground beef ("Beefcakes").


The only part I saw was just Jeff and Austin being "roasted" by having the crowd ask them a lot of very personal, sexual questions.  I've tried to block out most of what I heard, but here you go:

*  Jeff said he'd been with between "1 and 100" different women, and that 90% were one night stands.  He later tried to recant this, after hearing Austin's number, trying to switch to between "1 and 30" women.  (Jeff hangs out in the Y'bor area in Tampa, if you've been there, you know...it's ho and stripper central, but can be fun, of course.)

*  Austin said his number was about 30---I assume women, but he might have meant women, men, and farm animals for all we know.  He did say he was open to anything.


*  Austin is open to the use of strap-ons, but claims to not have experienced that to-date.  Someone, I think Clay, tried to grasp that and found it so hard to believe that he started to ask if Austin would be the one wearing it, but then absorbed the concept and seemed horrified.

*  Austin is into "biting" in the Vampire sense, and says he's been bitten really hard in a sensitive area and it hurt.

*  Jeff says he "is tested about twice a year".  Day blurted out "100 women a year and only two tests?" and that is when Jeff tried to adjust his number downward.


*  James was the Executive Producer of the show and made a little headset out of aluminum foil.  That was funny.  This is him holding the "shell phone" that the callers use to ask questions.


*  Shock and horror in the crowd.  And for the live feeders too, at times, I'm sure.


*  The Executive Producer talked about "tossing a salad" and Steve turned to Vanessa to ask what that was.  I"m unclear as to whether Vanessa even knew, but Meg spoke up and said that was something they would need to discuss privately.

Jason:  Private?  There is no private around here....they're probably watching Julie's house tour (on the live feeds) right now!

(Ha ha ha.)

*  I will follow up that by saying Austin was interested in trying it, saying he heard it "was good".  Jeff initially indicated he'd tossed a salad or two, but then tried to recant later after seeing how horrified the group (or probably just Meg) was, saying it "was disgusting".  (Austin was probably like, "yeah..how disgusting dude?")

*  Look at Jackie in the above picture....letting it all sink in.  I did hear her say yesterday that she and Jeff cursed A LOT on TAR and wondered if they could even find enough clean footage for the TV show.  She was pleasantly surprised when she watched the episodes to see their team speaking sentences with no four-letter words.

(Note that if I start getting too many weird visitors to the site based on the search terms for the topics discussed on the Jeff and Austin show, I may come back and edit this....)


***AND***

They got this big contraption to practice on in the backyard yesterday, signaling that the HoH competition will be one of those "crapshoots" that anyone can win.

Steve has been saying he hates those, but he went out there and practiced, anyway.



So did Cruella.  I wonder if she will get to play, or will Thickems?  Will Production dare switch them on the live show tonight?  And risk a potential scene in the living room?

I wish Thickems would just waltz out of that DR after voting tonight, saying something like, "THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!  WHO'S GONNA CALL ME HEAVY SET NOW?" before winning the HoH comp handily.

(How great would that be...damn.)


Da'Vonne gave it a try, too.

Sad.

Note that in the bathroom, Jason kind of went off about the competition, with Vanessa hanging on every word.

Jason:  It ain't gonna be about how high or far you can shoot the ball.   It's gonna be about timing, and being able to wait.  Everybody wants to ask me questions about the seasons, but no one wants to listen to me now.   It's about timing and patience.

Vanessa asked clarifying questions.  Jason told her they would be aiming for points at random spots on the board, and that there would be obstacles to avoid.

(And of course, there is the pressure of performing live....on the spot....so stressful.)

Will some random win tonight?  Like a John or a Becky?  Or, oh my god, a Jeff or Austin?  And please not Clay....no...we need a change up there....

6 comments :

  1. I have followed the BB live feeds for years and have only just discovered your coverage. It is the best. Full sentences, proper spelling, easy to read, detailed recaps of what is happening and what people are saying. Way more interesting that "HGs talking about Vanessa" which is all I get from a lot of updaters. Also, I love that you include your view of the things, because as a non-watcher, it's hard sometimes to figure out the tone of what is happening in the house just based on factual updates.

    Anyway, you're awesome. Keep it up, I'll be here all season!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much! Sometimes I look at one of the "Big Websites" and the updates say stuff like "Bob talks about his prison sentence" and I will be like, WHAT? WHAT?

    So annoying!

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  3. Love this page, my new fave also! Thank you :)

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  4. OMG... ur having everyone Googling "Tossing a Salad", LOL.. :-)

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  5. Love this page but I still am confused about something. Why re the twins still there?/ Since everyone knows it's now just dumb. Thanks for this page. It is the best of them all!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I understand it, the Twins' goal is for one of them to remain in the game through Week #5, when they both start playing. Until then they wil switch out on a tag team basis.

      Back in BB5, they had to make it to Week #5 without being detected (which they weren't). But this year, I think whoever is in the house at the time has to keep from getting evicted. And now that everyone knows, the whole drama of that is even more compelling.

      People who aren't working with "Liz" want her gone, but those who want to have both Liz and Julia on their side are going to do whatever they can to keep her there for the extra alliance vote.

      Maybe it is dumb, and I like dumb things. But I don't let that stop me from watching Big Brother. Because it is all kind of stupid, but I love it.

      Delete

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