Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Celebrity Big Brother - Trouble Across the Pond #CBB

First of all, the UK version of Big Brother expects you to watch your mouth and mind your manners when you are a guest in their home, celebrity or otherwise.  But just in case, they warn the viewers to beware....


The house guests all say "fuck" repeatedly throughout the day, and this is telecast with no bleeping at all.  The Brits are much more comfortable with public cursing then we are over here.  But making any sort of racially-charged comment or joke is not allowed.

Not. Allowed. At. All.

But first things first.  One of the "celebrities" who was cast this season was Jeremy Jackson, who played Hobie decades ago on Baywatch.  Jeremy has also made the rounds on a few other reality shows in the past few years.  I remember seeing him on some sort of show (VH1 maybe?) that featured a cast of former teen idols who were trying to build a career as adults.

(Jeremy has anger issues, yall.)

On that show Jeremy was somewhat candid about having a myriad of addiction issues, including steroid usage.  He arrived at the Celebrity Big Brother UK house looking incredibly ripped and fit, although much, much smaller.  And he was guzzling the champagne.  And the wine.  And the vodka.

In the first day or so, Jeremy was blowing chunks in the WC in the midst of a massive hangover.  He was probably still a little tipsy, because he ended up opening the bathrobe of one of his more nubile cast members and according to her, groped her boob.  We didn't see this however, because it happened in the little toilet room where the camera footage is rarely televised.

And I'm guessing we won't see it, because of the bare boobie.  The young lady (Chloe) was very upset, because she was just trying to help Jeremy vomit, or wipe away his sweat, or whatever.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Jeremy was removed from the Big Brother house within a few short hours.  Will he still receive his paycheck?  I got the impression that he certainly needs it.  I guess the Baywatch residuals aren't rolling in like they used to...

The big casting "get" this year appears to be Perez Hilton, the notorious American blogger who seems to have hired a new publicist recently.  For example, earlier this month he appeared on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker, in an attempt to land a husband.

SPOILER ALERT:  Perez's date knew who he was, and wasn't feeling it. Perez's money won't buy him class or love, apparently.

I would say Perez has a face for radio, but that would imply that I like listening to his voice.  And I don't.  It is a difficult task to actually look at Perez while he speaks, because he does a lot of unattractive things with his face when he is speaking.

Perez Hilton seems like the guy who constantly spits while he speaks.

And he speaks a lot.  As in, constantly.  And loudly.  Over everyone else.  And I am happy to report that the other house guests aren't loving that.  Some of the ladies are saying they can't take the constant "Perez Show".

On behalf of America, I'd like to apologize for Perez.  We are not all attention-hungry, over-talking loud mouths.  And we DO NOT wear clothing like this.  Not even in the house alone with the dog.


Perez made his millions talking shit about people, so I'll just go ahead and direct your attention to his muffin tops hanging over his shorts.  And let's have a closer look.


Yes, that's a mesh tank top.  I don't think I would even scrub the hubcaps of my car with that tank top.

Anyhoo, a second Celebrity Big Brother UK house guest was removed from the house as well, for using inappropriate language in the house after being given a formal warning.  This time, it was an old man named Ken who is apparently famous for something in England.

Ken didn't seem to care one bit about all of this.  And the word we saw him use was "Negro".  Perez was more than happy to tell Ken that he should probably "worry about his safety" when he leaves the Celebrity Big Brother UK house.  Perez got a talking-to about saying that, too.

So....Big Brother had to cancel the first live vote-off, due to Jeremy and Ken getting the shoe.  If you don't know, the British Public votes to determine who will be evicted, based on the house guests' nominees.

And get this:  Big Brother is going to have to issue REFUNDS to the people who already paid to vote.

Has that ever happened before?  What a mess.......