Friday, August 1, 2014

Brittany Gained Ten Pounds in the #BB16 House

We know this because the CBS website tells us so...



Derrick's Work is Never Done #BB16

Victoria has been whining for Derrick to come and talk to her, ever since nominations.  He made himself some lunch, ran a few errands, and then met with her in the Have Not room.

At first they were just talking, with Derrick making encouraging remarks.  He told her that 15 minutes after it starts, she could win and then it's all over.

Victoria: It's just so much pressure...

Then she started crying, the kind of crying where your shoulders start hunching up and then you are officially bawling.  Derrick opened his eyes wider and I could almost read his "oh shit" thoughts and then he did the right thing.  He sat up and moved over to Victoria's bed to comfort her.


For just a second...a split second...she had her hand on the back of Derrick's neck, and then she moved it to his shoulder.

Because we all know what the "hand on the back of the neck" means, right?  Uh huh.  You're barking up the wrong tree there, Missy.


He makes some reassuring comments to her, but she's crying really hard, so conversation is impossible on her end right now.

I know with me, I don't cry like that very often, not even once a year.  So when I get started, I tend to start factoring in all sorts of different reasons for crying, particularly if someone like Derrick is there comforting me.

Right after I graduated college, I bought a brand new Honda Accord that was loaded with features.  At 10:00 am the morning after I picked up my new car at the dealer, a drunk driver rear-ended me at an intersection without even braking, hitting me so hard I rammed into the car in front of me.  The point of the story is, I was alone and was bawling like our friend Victoria here and I clearly remember the police officer telling me "at least you're not hurt and you have money and can pay for all of this".  That officer was no Derrick, I have to say.  But then again, the drunk had just taken a swing at the officer when he approached the car and the drunk had a loaded gun in his hand.

Ah, the good old days.

***Key Learning***  Every bad thing that happens to you will make a great story later.  Sometimes much later, but trust me people will be entertained by it.


As Victoria's crying stops, the hug moves into the next phase, where Derrick uses both arms, using one hand to pat her back.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of Derrick's behaviors, but if I were Derrick's wife I would be irritated as hell.  "Where's my hug", I would be thinking.  But whatever...maybe he will come home to her with half a million dollars.


Now Victoria moves into the post-crying phase where all you have is clean up to do.  She has a seriously runny nose that is simultaneously stopped up.  She has a roll of toilet paper with her so at least she is prepared.

(You shouldn't use TP to blow your nose if at all possible---it is treated with chemicals to make it break down faster in water, and you don't want that on your skin.  Plus, it smells gross.)


Now Derrick tries to leave the room, but has to give another hug, this time standing up.  On the positive side, Derrick has cultivated Victoria's trust very well, and she will do anything in the game that he tells her to do...a valuable asset indeed.


Derrick makes his escape and Victoria went in search of a place to nap.


In the living room, Derrick chatted quickly with Caleb, giving him a scouting report.

Derrick:  With Victoria, you need to keep her up mentally...she's got the tools to win otherwise, but she needs mental strength.

Caleb:  And Jocosta's been on slop for a week..and it's hot out there.

Derrick encourages Caleb to nap, since it may be another two hours or so before the competition.


Let's Take a Trip Around the Live Feeds to Survey the Nomination Damage #BB16

Caleb is pacing and I guess he doesn't have many friends left in the house to talk to.  Part of his process is to beat his chest and talk about how powerful he is, but Derrick just doesn't want to hear it right now.  Trust me, Derrick wants to separate himself as much as possible from Caleb and Zach right now and just go about his business without indicating his alliance is at risk.

Caleb:  You pick on Beast Mode Cowboy and he's gonna pick right back!

Derrick, asking the room:  How long do you think...about two hours?  (i.e. he wants to finish cooking before the BoB today).



Caleb takes the hint, as much as Caleb can take a hint, and paces off into the distance.


I have to say that Caleb has taken the last 24 hours better than I ever thought he could.  At least he's not talking about Amber right now.  Caleb has been a crucial part of Big Brother 16 and our enjoyment of it...it would be a shame to see him go so early, actually.


Up in the HoH Room, Cody lays silently with Victoria, who must be upset.  The room is quiet, I can't even hear any tears or sniffling.


Cody strokes her arm and asks if she's okay.  Note that neither Cody nor Derrick are running around acting like the sky is falling...they both go about their roles in the house.  Derrick being a dad in the kitchen, and Cody comforting the ladies.  In fact, The Hitmen are so good right now that you barely even think they know each other sometimes.


And there is plenty of room between them on the bed, in case Victoria's parents are watching.  I would much rather my kid grind on Cody than on Frankie or Hayden, right?  That's just me.

And you've got to give Victoria some props, too.  If I were her I don't know if I could resist going in for the kill with Cody Calzone.


Back in the kitchen, Jocosta gets something out of the microwave.  She's still on slop until tomorrow, of course.

Jocosta was crying like a baby last night after the live show, very upset that she didn't win HoH.  In fact, she was the first one eliminated in the competition and that upset her, too.  Victoria tried to tell her it was okay and Jocosta started really bawling, calling our her children's names and saying she needed to see them.


Before Victoria even has a chance to consider getting some off Cody Nicole comes in the room.  It's her HoH room right now, of course.


Nicole thinks she may be perceived as a horrible person after her nomination speech. I guess she really gave it to Zach pretty good, but I'm sure he can take it.

Nicole:  It was so out of character...when my parents see that they are going to want to come get me and bring me home.

And the odds of being born with hair that looks like that are probably only slightly better than winning the Mega Millions lottery.  I don't even think she highlights it, and she attacks her wet hair with a hairbrush, too.  She just yanks at the tangles and it makes me cringe.  I always heard you should comb wet hair, but what do I know.


Now Jocosta just comes in without ringing the bell or knocking.  Cody asked her "what's up Mama J" but I didn't hear her say anything back.


Donny comes out of the bathroom with his overalls on.  I've heard him talk about Production taking away his overalls due to all of the logos and distinctive stitching.  I got the impression that his overalls were well worn-in, so this pair must be a new pair purchased for him recently.

Donny:  There's enough room for me AND you in here.


Donny says they're "34 32's" and wants to go downstairs and show everybody.  He asks Jocosta how she's feeling.

Jocosta:  I'm feeling...

Donny:  Feeling positive...try to stay positive and know you are no one's target.  Stay positive and compete and know that you have friends.


In the Rock Room, it is nap time for Zach and Caleb seems to be keeping him awake.

Caleb:  We'll just go out there and compete and let the best man win.

Zach: Mmmm.


Caleb:  It could be worse...it could be Cody with either one of us...and if we lose...it don't matter...all that means is that Jocosta or Victoria are goin' home.

Zach:  Mm.

Caleb, whispering:  We still control the votes...and with one of 'em being the HoH, they lose a vote...so either way...we got enough votes, with a few to spare.

Zach:  Yeah.

Caleb:  It'll still be nerve wracking to be up there though.

Zach:  But the PoV is really what matters...what if which ever one of us is up there and she wins the PoV...did you think about that?  But the chances of that are really miniscule.

Caleb:  Really miniscule..


Caleb seems to be cheering Zach up a little, saying at least they get to have another cool costume today, and one of them will get another one for the PoV.

(They get to keep the costumes.)


Zach:  I'll bet it will be fun.

Caleb:  Oh, I hope we're going in the mud...and honey..I hope we get DIRTY.  And it's gonna be hot out there...and Victoria will be saying "where's my inhaler?"



Caleb:  Me and you, we're both gonna go out there and Beast it, but them two, they got their downfalls.

Zach:  Yeah.


Caleb:  And it's hot outside.

Zach:  See...I'd rather be with Victoria if it's gonna be hot outside....

Caleb: It's gonna be hot.

Zach hopes Jocosta is drinking water and Caleb says her "whole thing" is full so she is drinking.  Zach hopes there isn't too much of an endurance element today.

Zach:  And she's been on slop for four days...dammit!

Caleb, getting up: Enough said!  Sorry for your luck.



Christine is hosting the Battle of the Block today.  Caleb went to the living room and she said she was nervous about it.


Christine: I thought it would be fun, but Amber made me nervous...she made it sound terrifying.

Caleb:  Nah, that's just her.  She got nervous just talkin'.....it's fun.  They talk to you through your little earpiece and tell you what to do....and at that moment, you're the star of the show.  All of the cameras are on you....


Christine plans to really play it over the top and Caleb says that's good.

Nominations are Over....And Nicole Attacks Zach #BB16

The nomination ceremony took a long time...over 90 minutes, but the live feeds came back just as it was ending.  Nerves are high...tensions have shifted along with the power.  People are hugging each other, but for different reasons.

Donny nominated Caleb and Victoria.  Nicole nominated Zach and Jocosta.


Caleb is pacing around....the Beast Mode Cowboy can only do so much in a competition with a partner like Victoria.  But Zach can say the same thing about Jocosta.


Frankie is working the room quickly and has already hugged at least three people that I saw.  He told Nicole in the bathroom that her speech was great and she was still "America's Sweetheart".

I'm not gonna lie...I really wanted Frankie to be nominated but maybe there is still time for a backdoor.   He's getting hard for me to look at, and even harder to listen to...so fake.


Cody came in and had some quiet words with Nicole.  He complimented her on her speech, too.



Now Frankie is whispering with Caleb.  He says this is the best thing that could have happened and Caleb agrees.   (They were worried that their group would be nominated alongside each other, although that can still happen....)


Zach:  Here we go...

He is very nervous and doesn't seem to care who knows it.


Derrick continues to slide on into the background after his HoH run a few weeks ago.  Just keep sliding, Derrick.


Zach asks Frankie if he thinks Nicole and Donny are working together this week.

Frankie:  Well, you would know as much as I do...

Zach:  ...because it makes a difference.


I just can't take that hair much longer.  Everything about him is so "look at me look at me" that it turns my stomach.

Zach is making a PB&J sandwich...looks like grape jelly.


Caleb comes by and shows some affection for his buddy Zach, who he will face off against today in the Battle of the Block.


Zach brings up Nicole and Donny working together again.

Frankie:  Honestly, I think...


And then we go to FISH.

Great.  Look at Caleb staring right at us in that picture....scary!

Scrambling in the Storage Room #BB16

So you probably know by now that Nicole and Donny won the HoH competition.  For the record, I think someone in Production screwed up last night.  With a competition like that, they want to make the HoH winner clear at the end of the broadcast..the intent is not to drag it out.

Usually when there is a question-type of competition, if there is a tie after a certain number of questions, they go to their chalkboards and have a tie-breaker.  I think Julie said that there would be 12 questions, so after there was still a tie after 11 questions, I was very surprised they didn't break out the chalkboards right then and there.

When we went to commercial, I was expecting a reveal of the tie break, to be honest.  Maybe the  fact that they still had a number of people in the running threw them off.  Everyone is making fun of The Chenbot's robotic malfunction, but it's not her job to host the show and watch the clock, too.  There is a whole production team that is counting down to commercial and calling the plays....Julie is the quarterback out there, but she can't do it all.

OK. so just a few minutes after everyone is back in the house and adjusting to what just happened, Zach and Hayden go to the storage room.  Zach is a bundle of nerves, pacing and shifting his weight from side to side.  He always does that, but Zach is more nervous then usual.   (That is how Zach is always near the top of the Fitness Tracker activity, too, even though he gets plenty of sleep.)


Hayden is cool as a cucumber now.  Why wouldn't he be?  Two of his allies and closest friends won HoH, which leaves him clear to win during next weeks Double Eviction.  Zach is worried about being nominated, and Hayden throws out Victoria and Jocosta's old tired names again.

Zach:  Buddy we should have won that one....me and you....


Frankie bursts in and basically says the same thing to Zach, that he shouldn't worry.  And then Frankie got is ass right back in that kitchen...he's got some buttering up and brown nosing to do in there.

Do you think Frankie might be worried?  I think he should....Donny might want to put up Frankie and Derrick, but Nicole would certainly co-sign the Frankie side of that...as would her friend Christine.


Caleb came in looking shell-shocked.  Beast Mode Cowboy is a single man now, riding the range solo.

Hayden keeps repeating that the only thing he knows is that both Nicole and Donny want to be the final HoH this week.  (Not sure if that is really true....both Donny and Nicole may be too smart for that.)


They discuss what would happen if two from their group go up on the block.  Maybe they shouldn't be so free with their worries to Hayden now, right?

And maybe they should worry about the appearances they are giving off, huddling in the storage room and staying there for fairly long periods of time.....it certainly emphasizes their connection in the game.


Zach is still in the back of the room, pacing from side to side.  How often do you think Caleb touches an ironing board out in the real world?  I think the answer is either "NEVER" or "EVERY TUESDAY".

Hayden repeats his line about both Nicole and Donny wanting to stay in power this week.


Derrick burst into the room, moving quickly to the refrigerator to get whatever he came in there for.

You know Derrick thinks this gathering looks suspicious, so I predict he will get in and out of there as fast as possible.  Also, I don't think Derrick would be so stupid to start spilling his guts to Hayden right now.

Just last night, Derrick and Frankie were whispering about either Hayden or Donny being their backdoor target this week.  And now both of those guys are in a position of control right now.  (Even though Hayden didn't win HoH, he might as well have....and Derrick knows that.)


Caleb starts yammering on about what happens if "two of them are on the block together" as Derrick grabs his food and turns to leave the room.

Derrick:  We're all grown ass men, and we can handle this..we'll get the next one, right?


And with that, Derrick leaves the room, followed closely by Hayden.  Derrick isn't going to let anyone see him sweat anytime soon, that's for sure.


Zach and Caleb are alone in the room.

Zach:  Dude, I'm going to look like an idiot on national television...I put 3,000...

Caleb:  I was way over, too...I put 1,200..


So they did go to the chalkboards, after all.  Production didn't even have any extra questions to ask---I guess they really only prepared 12 questions for the live show.

If I were someone in Production, and I got called into Julie Chen's office today, I'd be worried.  That kind of thing always happens on a Friday, too.