Saturday, July 5, 2014

Devin's Mood Swings....Calls an Immediate Bomb Squad Meeting #BB16

OK. This is just out of control.  Most seasons of Big Brother, we have maybe one big blow up a week, if we're lucky.

But we're seeing total EXPLOSIONS several times a day in this game.  These people are NUTS.

OK, you already know the Bomb Squad was dissembled in the wee hours this morning.  And Caleb and Devin were no longer friends.  Then, just when the PoV competition was about to begin, Caleb went to the HoH and told Devin that his actions were causing the rest of the Bomb Squad to want him gone as soon as possible.

Caleb:  It looks bad, bro.  Really bad.

So now the two of them are friends again, and are both sorry for what happened earlier.  Devin wants Caleb to go downstairs, pronto, and bring back the entire Bomb Squad for an emergency meeting.


Caleb strolled back to the bedrooms and rousted out Cody, Christine, Frankie and Zach.  Amber appeared a few minutes later, babbling nervously about being clumsy and hitting her hand.

Devin kept saying he had something to say, and he wanted to wait for everyone.  All of the Bomb Squad needed to be present for this.

***crickets*** You could cut the tension with a knife.  Everyone was nervous.



Devin:  And if people say, they're in an alliance up there, it doesn't matter.  Just say no and deny, deny, deny.

Amber is pissed off.  She points out that last night Devin said the alliance was over right in front of Jocosta and she's had to deny it all day long!

Devin:  Oh, me and Jocosta are fine...she came up here today and we talked...

Amber:  But you mentioned the Alliance in front of her!  I've been denying it all day now!



Finally only Derrick was missing.  Zach said can't we just tell him about it later?

Devin:  No, the entire Bomb Squad needs to be here.

Zach:  But Donny's in the DR now...

Amber:  He's been in there for at least 15 minutes...

Devin:  I'm not worried about Donny.

Zach:  But he's hosting the PoV!  He's going to open the door down there and say "let's get ready for Veto" and all of us are going to leave.

Devin: It's all right, it doesn't matter.

Zach:  Want me to go down there and get him?

Devin:  Send someone who isn't as suspicious...

That set off a round of conversation and finally Zach went down there to retrieve Derrick.

(Now would be a good time to have a joke at the ready about Derrick going out for a donut, but I don't have one handy.)


Derrick finally appears and walks in silently, but then Zach is missing.  It is a comedy of errors as they curse about Zach and they even checked the Spy Screen to see if Zach was "down there dancing".


Finally Zach comes up and Devin launches into a long, blustery tirade about how this isn't a dictatorship, but they all need to get on the same page.

Devin proceeded to dictate a long speech about why Brittany needs to leave the house, one of the reasons being that she is the only one of the girls who can "grow a sac" and target the guys.  Christine remained completely still through this, but inside she must be ready to laugh and throw up at the same time.

Then Devin said he heard that "someone in this room...someone in the Alliance...wanted him out of the game."  At one point Cody smarted off with startling anger.

Cody: So, are you threatening me?

Devin:  No, dude.  I'm just trying to pivot around and you're right there.  I can't stare at these two (motioning to the girls) because that might be intimidating...

Cody, obviously PISSED:  Oh, because I thought you were starting right at me...

Up until this point, the room was silent except for Devin speaking.  Everyone just sat there in silence.  It was uncomfortable for me to watch, to be honest.  Devin kept saying they need to all get on the same page.  I did not hear anyone bring up the fact that Devin disbanded the Bomb Squad this morning.

The rest of the house guests (except Brittany and maybe someone else) ended up barging in and Devin made some weak excuses about telling everyone why he nominated Brittany.

Finally the feeds went to FISH.

Poor Donny was out of it again.  He likely came out of the DR in some silly costume, only to find only Brittany there waiting for him.

Will CBS show us that part?  Or will they re-film Donny coming out of the DR once everyone is there?  They've done that before, you know.  

****ALSO***

If there are any friends or former co-workers or teammates of Devin who would like to share your story, please let me know.  I would never reveal your name, and will even let you approve what I write before I post it, to protect your identity.

C'mon.  Aren't you just dying to tell?

Scenes From Today - Girl Talk Issue #BB16

Jocosta still remains a mystery.  She had a meeting with Devin today where he tried to grill her about her allegiences in the game, and she stuck to her "Alliance with Jesus" routine.  Devin barely noticed that she didn't tell him anything, because his Adderall was kicking in and he was babbling a mile a minute, basically telling her way more than she deserved to know about what happened last night.

(You can read about that hot mess here.)


And yesterday Cody and Hayden were talking about Jocosta.  Hayden made a fake phone call from Production to Jocosta, telling her that she was supposed to be here two weeks ago.  Cody got on the line and told Jocosta she actually needed to be inside the house...

It was funny.  I wonder what is going on in Jocosta's head?  Anything?  Anybody?


OK. On to the girl talk.  Brittany talked to the girls about how she keeps her skin looking so good.  Christine wanted to know how she avoided stretch marks, after three kids.

Brittany:  I stuck with Palmer's Cocoa Butter, because it worked the first time.  But most of it is genetics---neither my mom or my grandma had stretch marks either.

This resulted in a round of horror stories about pregnancy and weight gain. Victoria's sister gained 50 pounds, and all of them know someone who really blew up when they were pregnant.


Christine has a slew of brother and sister-in-laws.  I tried to keep track but it was too much for me.  There were at least four on each side of her marriage.  Her husband also has two brothers who haven't married yet, so there will be two more sisters-in-law on that end, too.

Christine was really critical of her brother's girlfriends growing up.  She picked them apart and warned her brother about some of them.

Christine:  He found an awesome girl to marry though.  She's rad.



Christine offers to help Nicole plan a budget wedding when the time comes.  Nicole is so excited for that.

Nicole, giggling:  I wonder where my husband is now and what he's doing!

Christine:  I used to wonder the same thing, but it turns out I knew what he was doing, because I already knew him!

(She's known her husband since they were twelve.)


Christine thinks Nicole's future husband may be watching her now.

Nicole:  I don't think I'm going to marry someone who is watching this...maybe an old boyfriend or something.  I think I probably know him already...maybe from my home town.




Later Nicole told the group about her ex-boyfriend, that she dated for five years.  She has been talking about the relationship in the house, but Hayden says he doesn't know the guy's name.

Nicole said he knew she might be on the show---she had some sort of birthday party the week before being chosen, and he knew she was a rabid Big Brother fan, of course.

Nicole:  He was wanting me to get back with him and make it official..


Nicole:  He texted me the morning I got "picked up" and I just texted back that I would get back to him when I could..

Jocosta said that was slick:  Look at you, girl!

Nicole:  Maybe he shouldn't have partied so much!

Hayden:  Maybe he should have put the PS3 down!

They all laughed.


Devin PIcks the Have Nots #BB16

The group had to sit in the HoH Room for a few minutes while Production set up the America's Choice Have Not foods on the dining room table.

They rushed downstairs to find the "Wurst BLT" items arranged on the table.  They were confused at first--what is all of that stuff?  There was:

* some sort of salami-shaped German sausage that appeared to be squeezable
* tomato paste
* bok choy

Devin read the card, which told them what the items were, and had to pick the Have Nots.  He quickly picked Brittany, Victoria, Zach and Derrick.  He did it so quickly, it seemed to be something he had already considered.

(He might have asked for volunteers....I heard Hayden say yesterday he wouldn't mind being a Have Not again this week because he's not at risk to go home, and he liked the way he felt and looked after eating such a healthy diet all week.)



Victoria isn't going to like this, I predict.   And how will Zach put up with her for a week?  He's already wishing her dead now, so....

Victoria:  Will we still have slop?


When Zach heard his name called, he yelled "Awesome".  Zach and Derrick already broke open a package of the sausage before Devin even picked their names, and both said it wasn't bad, they could work with it.

I'm sure this will be much easier for Brittany, having the extra foods to work with.  They had nothing extra last week to work with---only the usual permitted condiments.

Derrick:  Thanks America for hooking us up!  I don't know what bok choy is, but I'm sure we're gonna love it!


I wish Devin had taken the time to say that his choices weren't personal, so we would have something to laugh at him about here, but the process was relatively simple and clean.


Pictures really are worth a thousand words, huh?



For Brittany, this might be a good week.  She can solidify her relationship with Zach and Derrick.  And for Victoria?  We all know she's always on Derrick like white on rice....this could be her dream come true.

And if what I've learned about slop over the years is true, Zach will be flowing free and easy within a day or so...

The PoV Action Cranks up Again Today #BB16

Production scolded the kids in the Rock Room a few hours ago, saying they needed to settle down and shut up because they would be getting a wake-up call in less than two hours.

I can only assume that they need to pick players for the PoV, and to hold the competition later today.  This should also result in a new group of Have Nots...hopefully some new people will experience that this week, to make it a little more fair.

Christine rested one elbow on the counter and said when she tried to pull it up it was stuck there.  Gross.


Amber is doing Pao Pao's hair and Pao Pao is thanking Amber over and over.




I wonder if Pao Pao knows how badly she needs to win the PoV today.....

In fact, Pao Pao or Devin winning the PoV would be the worst possible outcome, since Devin would likely put up Caleb or Derrick in her place, leaving one of the former Bomb Squad on the block with Brittany.

(The Bomb Squad broke up just a few hours earlier--you can catch up on that action here.)


Pao Pao says she likes it when Amber teases her hair and Amber says that is weird.



Brittany ate some yogurt.  That hairstyle would not look out of place on a runway, but in the Big Brother house it looks like a mistake.



Donny comes in and says he would not make a good host for the competition.

Donny:  I don't have a good memory..

Christine:  But you don't need to remember what you said..you just need to read the cards..

Donny:  But then I might have to do it over, and they might want to talk to me about it..


Victoria tells Donny that her hair isn't real and Donny is shocked.

Donny:  How many of you girls don't have real hair?

Victoria:  Just me and Brittany.

Donny is legitimately shocked.



They are all tired after last night. Amber doesn't usually drink coffee, but she says today she needs some--she doesn't care what it tastes like.  Nicole joined the group and needed coffee, too.

Brittany puts Cool Whip in her coffee and says it makes it nice and creamy.  They ask Donny if he would like some coffee.

Donny:  I'll have a tad, if it don't make you mad...

Note to Caleb: Don't Try to Out-Crazy Devin. #BB16

OK--yesterday was one for the books.  Specifically, the psychiatric textbooks.  Let's review the leading incidents relating to this particular Explosion of Crazy.

*  Devin nominates Brittany for eviction, calling her a Cow in the process and making gun shooting motions and sound effects.

*  Whispers circulate in the house about how effed up that was, particularly in light of Devin's tearful speech the prior evening about playing a game his daughter can be proud of.

*  Caleb awoke on July 4th crying in the HoH Suite, then tells a teary tale about his military service to Devin and Frankie.

*  Devin like, cries, too, but knows without his own military stories, Caleb wins the Crazy prize of the day.  I mean, like he has a daughter, and like, big muscles, and a daughter, and a big appetite, and a daughter, but with no military experience of his own he cedes the point to Caleb.

*  Members of the Bomb Squad gather to discuss keeping Brittany in the house this week, which will surely set off an implosion.  I'm actually picturing Devin climbing the roof of the Big Brother house clutching Brittany in one huge hand as he swats at banner planes and LAPD choppers with the other.  You know, like King Kong.


OK, now let's flash forward to the wee hours of this morning, just after 3:00 am.  Caleb, Frankie and Derrick are playing pool in the backyard, when Devin comes outside.  Derrick gets into his Cop Stance as things get started. (I think they stand with one hand on each hip so they can easily grab their taser or their Glock, or maybe their radio or just a stick of Juicy Fruit.)



Caleb, to Devin:  Let me share something with you....there's quite a few people in this house who feel you put Brittany up for personal reasons.

Devin:  It was a personal reason.  I said it was a personal reason.

Caleb:  Well, more people are wanting Pao gone than Brittany.

Devin:  I don't care.

Caleb:  I'm just letting you know.

Derrick moves back so he can stand behind Devin, probably knowing the pool cues are right there for the taking.  He leaned back on the washing machine though, and it made that little clinking sound that it means it's time to start the load.   (I'm just reporting the facts here...)

Devin, getting a little heated:  That's stupid...it's because you were over there talking to Amber, Bro!  (pointing at the hammock).

They went back and forth about that a few times.

Caleb:  I just know the Devin I met earlier wasn't going to put somebody up for personal reasons.

Devin says everybody knows Brittany is a bigger threat and wants to poll the alliance right now to find out what they think.


Devin:  No one else matters..what does the alliance think?

He asks Derrick and Derrick says (from the other side of the pool table) that Brittany is a better player.  Devin points out that there are three people from their alliance out there now...what do they think?  Frankie is mute as Caleb says they all think Brittany is a bigger threat.

Devin:  Then who are you talking about then?


Caleb:  Who do you think?  The two people you brought in the alliance.

Devin:  Not Christine!  I just talked to her up there and she agrees with me!  It's Amber bro....you're lovestruck, Bro....you know you're my boy but now you're getting all upset but it's Amber, Bro..

Caleb:  Whatever.  You're just blowing things out of proportion, like you always do.

Devin is holding two crackers and waving them around as he speaks.  They are too small to be Ritz crackers, but they might be those Breton wheat crackers, based on the Hand-to-Cracker ratio that I can see from here.


Devin:  Always?  I always blow things out of proportion Bro?

Caleb:  Yeah, one thing gets brought up and you're all Ugh Ugh Ugh (making King Kong-like sounds).

Devin:  Dude, who's had your back when you're up there all upset all of the time?

Caleb:  I haven't said you weren't...

Devin:  Then why are you talking to me like this right now?

For the record, Caleb is being very calm, just trying to talk to Devin.  Here's some better views at the crackers for you.  It must be a hearty cracker, to not crumble as Devin waves them around in his giant mitts.



Caleb:  I'm just trying to tell you how people feel...

Devin:  What are you talking about Dude?  

Now they go around and around about how Christine is on board, and how Amber put these ideas in Caleb's head.

Caleb:  People in this house are afraid to tell you what they think.  Christine was scared of you the whole time she was up there...  go get her...she'll tell you!

Devin:  What are you talking about?  Did anybody else here that? 

He asked Derrick for confirmation.

Derrick:  She said she was nervous when you brought her up there..


Devin:  Then when she got up there she was fine...she wasn't nervous or scared...when you get out you can watch the tapes...there are cameras all over out here...

Caleb:  We're not saying that you yelled at her or punched her in the face or nothin'....

Devin tried to pull Frankie in on this conversation, but Frankie stuck to monosyllabic utterances.  As you can see, the crackers are still maintaining their round shape, which surely means they would be an effective delivery method for any dip or chunky spread.


Now this whole drama is centered around Christine, and how she does or doesn't feel.  Frankie tried to tell Devin that Christine will do whatever the group wants her to do.  Devin sees her through the sliding door and starts motioning for her to come outside.


Derrick:  No...you're going to scare her to death...

Devin wants to stop all of this "He Said She Said" stuff and get it all out in the open, with everyone right there.  Frankie says that will cause too much drama.  Devin clutches his crackers, shuffling them from hand to hand like poker chips.


Caleb:  It'll show in the votes.

Devin:  What?  Where did this all come from?

Frankie and Derrick both assure Devin that Christine is fine, she'll vote with the alliance.  Devin opens the back door and goes halfway inside, and then Christine comes out, stammering and stuttering.


Christine:  Were you waving at me a few minutes ago to come out here?  I'm sorry...

Devin:  Were you afraid when I was up there talking to you?

Christine:  I get nervous when Derrick pulls me aside....when Caleb pulls me aside....anybody!



Devin:  Were you afraid at any time up there?

Christine:  No, no...not at all...that you were going to harm me or something?...were you going to harm me?

Devin:  No, but at any time did I raise my voice?  Weren't we just having a conversation about the nominations?


Devin:  Don't you feel that Brittany has the potential to make more game moves?  It's not personal...

Caleb, sharply:  You said in your nomination speech that it's personal!

Devin, still clutching his crackers:  ...it's a little bit of both, Bro!  It's 50-50..are you satisfied and happy with that Bro?


Christine says she's still undecided about who needs to go this week.

Devin:  He said (motioning to Caleb) that you didn't want me to put up Brittany at all.

Christine:  Me? I don't care about Brittany at all.

Devin says that is all he wanted to say, and he went in the house and slid the door closed.  The status of the crackers is unknown.

Christine:  I'm so confused....why was all that necessary?

Derrick confirmed that Caleb just tried to have a conversation with Devin "like a man" and he "flew off the handle".  Derrick also tells Christine that Devin wanted to bring her outside twice but they told him no.

Derrick:  The only reason why you were out here is because you were standing right there by the door.

Christine:  I was scared just now, during that!


Derrick:  We know that...we're not morons..do not sweat it one bit.


Derrick:  If you're going to talk to him, just be sure there is another guy there...even Hayden counts.

Hayden comes outside saying "I'm a guy...I'm a guy..."


Devin went upstairs to his HoH room, followed closely by Frankie.  His mouth was full of something, so I can only assume the crackers met their demise, much as the Bomb Squad will do shortly.

OK.  Devin leaves the HoH and goes back outside. He's breathing harder now, all worked up.  Devin pulled Caleb out to the middle of the backyard, babbling the whole time about Caleb speaking to him in a disrespectful way.

Caleb, exasperated: It's half the house, Dude!

Devin:  OK.  There's no more alliance then...no more alliance!




They keep walking, going their separate ways.

Devin:  The whole thing's done.  It's over!

Caleb:  That's fine.

Devin:  Enjoy it.

Caleb:  If that's how you feel...

Devin:  That's how I handle it!

(What, you take your crackers and marbles and go home?)

***AND SCENE***

***ALSO***

Amber was laying on the hammock with her HoH basket blankie during this whole conversation.  Caleb has been walking around the house with the blankie draped around his neck, so I bring you the following picture so you will know the origins of Caleb's blankie.