Thursday, July 10, 2014

The House Guests Practice for Tonight's HoH Competition...and Devin Gets Sassy With Production #BB16

Just after Big Brother After Dark hit the air last night, the house guests gathered by the back door and rushed into the backyard as the opening rolled up.

There was a large contraption there, and the house guests know they only have one hour of practice time.  Caleb read the instructions on a laminated card.

Caleb:  Hit the ball with the mallet...stand in the metal tube and hit the ball.  Do not move the carpet or the metal tube.  Experiment with banked shots, straight shots, and moving around obstacles..

Zach grabbed the mallet first and hit a shot.  Derrick jumped in in the middle of Caleb's instructions to tell Zach where he needs to stand.  (I don't think they want to waste a minute or a practice stroke by doing it the wrong way.)

Caleb, continuing:  Correct practice form is standing up, not crouching down.

Pao Pao:  What the fuck?




Derrick points out that the whole thing will be different on the live show.  Nicole reads the instructions herself as Zach tries the first shot.  As you can see, his toothbrush is in his mouth.  Looks like an Oral B to me.


Zach hits his shot and walks down the course and says "OH YEAH!"  in a Pauly D-like manner.  Here are the happy faces of the crowd as they watch Zach rejoice after hitting it right the first time.


***Fun Fact***  I think Derrick might know Pauly D, being from Rhode Island, as well as that big guy who was Pauly D's homeboy from the MTV show, based on a tweet that Derrick's wife Jana posted in the first days of the BB season, asking for support for "their boy".

(WTF is Frankie wearing?)

Now the house guests get into a rhythm, stepping up for their turn and moving quickly.  Hayden stood at the end of the course to pick up the ball and return it to the start.  I don't see Devin out there, but I guess he wouldn't need to practice, anyway, since he can't play for HoH.  Personally, I think he needs to get out there and start becoming a good teammate, maybe cheer some people on or something.

This is Pao Pao. Don't even bother Pao Pao.  You can see they have to stand in a metal washtub.


Before Caleb shot, Zach asked him what his plan was, what he was going for.  Caleb described his plan, but it fell flat.


Nicole:  Oh gosh...

Everyone:  Go!  Hurry!  We only have an hour!


Cody took a swing, and a miss.


Jocosta stepped up and made the shot, as people cheered.  (And probably started sweating their balls off.)


They start to wonder how two HoH's will win from this....someone says maybe America will pick the second HoH.  Someone else said that they might win points by making shots at different targets, with different point values.

Donny stepped up the plate, and had to be reminded to step inside the silver bucket.  Donny was surprised at this, but made the shot handily.  They started speeding things up by having each player hit shots with all four balls before letting the next person go.


Donny said he plays golf a lot with his girlfriend at home.  Someone asks if he wins the game.

Donny:  Lord no!  I'm a good loser though..


Brittany gets in the tub. From time-to-time someone mentions that Zach plays a lot of golf, like it just occurred to them.




I just looked in on Devin and he was all alone, making some sort of big meaty feast for himself in the kitchen.




Looks like at least three chicken breasts slathered in barbecue sauce or something.  Eat some greens, Devin.  Or some mashed potatoes or something...


Back outside, Victoria and Nicole look like they are watching a tennis match, their heads whipping back and forth.  They re-read the rules and realized they could and should move the obstacles around as they practiced...as long as they didn't move the bucket and the carpet.


Amber took a turn shagging balls at the end of the course.


Jocosta did a great job on many of her shots. I'll bet some of the house guests will be extra-nice to Jocosta tonight, just in case.  Even I would probably try to strike up a conversation about Jesus with Jocosta if I was in there, if I had to.

But Jocosta ain't no fool.  I think she knows exactly what is going on in there.  People like to compare Frankie's game to Andy's game last year, but I think that comparison belongs to Jocosta at this point.


I checked back in on Devin, and my timing was great.  He is eating the large mass of dead chicken all by himself, his fork clinking angrily on the plate.  He has a big pile of used napkins in front of him--it looks like he is wiping the sauce off the fork each time he takes a bite---maybe part of his self-admitted germaphobe problem.

If Devin had good BB gameplay, he would at least take his plate outside to join the group, or at least to observe the dynamics of the situation.  He might be able to spot cracks in the relationships out there, to give him something to work on this week. But it is way too late for us to expect Devin to play this game the way it should be played.


The camera shows us this..a dangling object near Devin's feet.

BB:  Devin, please attach your microphone.

Devin:  I'm not even talking to anybody right now!


A few moments pass, and Devin takes another bite or two of the roasted dead chicken, or chickens, most likely as each chicken only has two breasts.

BB:  Devin, please attach your microphone.

Devin:  Are you serious right now?  What do you want to do, hear me breathe and eat?

(Um, yes, actually. We do.)

Devin reattaches the damn microphone and goes back to his plate.

BB:  Thank you!

Devin, sarcastically:  You're welcome.

Devin's Fork:  Click...click...click.


Outside Derrick and Zach talk about how they expect the game to go..with various point structures and obstacles in the course.  I know Derrick, like me, has watched this same type of competition play out on the live feeds, and then the live show.  

Cody seems down tonight.  Very quiet.  Maybe he realizes this will not be his week to win HoH.  Cody hates to lose--he is very competitive and gets pissy about losing.  Just like he told Big Jeff in his preseason interview.


What's wrong, Boo?


Hayden and Derrick have fun working the end of the course, hustling to grab balls and get them back to the shooters.  Hayden gives Six Flags a few shout outs, saying they should give him a job.

***HERE'S THE THING***

This competition is really a crapshoot.  The set up in the backyard is just the basic idea of the competition.  The crew will spend all night completing the course and adding a theme, bright colors, and probably some moving parts, like a windmill or roulette wheel.  I don't think I can say it any better than Donny.

Donny:  It's gonna be nothin' like this...there's gonna be a bunch of little doodads all over it.

I don't know how they will arrange to have two HoH's out of this competition, unless they have two separate heats like they did last week.  Maybe they will have the 2nd HoH chosen by the way the balls fall...like maybe each house guest will have their name on an obstacle or hole, and aiming for the names may help that person win, but lose you the other HoH spot, based on point values.

This would certainly expose the true alliances, right?  And also the people who really don't want to win HoH.

One thing is certain...there will be A LOT of pressure on them, as they step up to the plate live, on CBS.  They will probably only get one shot, and will be eliminated very quickly.  These type of competitions are also interesting because the house guests can hear who the audience cheers for, or boos.  This introduces a whole new layer of game....after people get a feel for what America wants.

Someone totally unexpected could win this, although Zach should have a great advantage based on his extensive experience playing golf.  Golf is all about angles and slopes...golfers approach each hole differently after studying the little map of the putting green, and kneeling down to look at the expected trajectory of the ball.

Going first tonight probably won't help you, unless the pressure gets more and more intense.  It makes my heart beat faster, just thinking about what could happen.


Devin eventually did join the group outside, stone-faced and sullen.  What a dick.

Jocosta is doing VERY well on almost every shot....I wonder if Caleb realizes this is a competition that he might not win....Beastmode doesn't work on the putting green...or does it?


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