Saturday, July 5, 2014

Note to Caleb: Don't Try to Out-Crazy Devin. #BB16

OK--yesterday was one for the books.  Specifically, the psychiatric textbooks.  Let's review the leading incidents relating to this particular Explosion of Crazy.

*  Devin nominates Brittany for eviction, calling her a Cow in the process and making gun shooting motions and sound effects.

*  Whispers circulate in the house about how effed up that was, particularly in light of Devin's tearful speech the prior evening about playing a game his daughter can be proud of.

*  Caleb awoke on July 4th crying in the HoH Suite, then tells a teary tale about his military service to Devin and Frankie.

*  Devin like, cries, too, but knows without his own military stories, Caleb wins the Crazy prize of the day.  I mean, like he has a daughter, and like, big muscles, and a daughter, and a big appetite, and a daughter, but with no military experience of his own he cedes the point to Caleb.

*  Members of the Bomb Squad gather to discuss keeping Brittany in the house this week, which will surely set off an implosion.  I'm actually picturing Devin climbing the roof of the Big Brother house clutching Brittany in one huge hand as he swats at banner planes and LAPD choppers with the other.  You know, like King Kong.


OK, now let's flash forward to the wee hours of this morning, just after 3:00 am.  Caleb, Frankie and Derrick are playing pool in the backyard, when Devin comes outside.  Derrick gets into his Cop Stance as things get started. (I think they stand with one hand on each hip so they can easily grab their taser or their Glock, or maybe their radio or just a stick of Juicy Fruit.)



Caleb, to Devin:  Let me share something with you....there's quite a few people in this house who feel you put Brittany up for personal reasons.

Devin:  It was a personal reason.  I said it was a personal reason.

Caleb:  Well, more people are wanting Pao gone than Brittany.

Devin:  I don't care.

Caleb:  I'm just letting you know.

Derrick moves back so he can stand behind Devin, probably knowing the pool cues are right there for the taking.  He leaned back on the washing machine though, and it made that little clinking sound that it means it's time to start the load.   (I'm just reporting the facts here...)

Devin, getting a little heated:  That's stupid...it's because you were over there talking to Amber, Bro!  (pointing at the hammock).

They went back and forth about that a few times.

Caleb:  I just know the Devin I met earlier wasn't going to put somebody up for personal reasons.

Devin says everybody knows Brittany is a bigger threat and wants to poll the alliance right now to find out what they think.


Devin:  No one else matters..what does the alliance think?

He asks Derrick and Derrick says (from the other side of the pool table) that Brittany is a better player.  Devin points out that there are three people from their alliance out there now...what do they think?  Frankie is mute as Caleb says they all think Brittany is a bigger threat.

Devin:  Then who are you talking about then?


Caleb:  Who do you think?  The two people you brought in the alliance.

Devin:  Not Christine!  I just talked to her up there and she agrees with me!  It's Amber bro....you're lovestruck, Bro....you know you're my boy but now you're getting all upset but it's Amber, Bro..

Caleb:  Whatever.  You're just blowing things out of proportion, like you always do.

Devin is holding two crackers and waving them around as he speaks.  They are too small to be Ritz crackers, but they might be those Breton wheat crackers, based on the Hand-to-Cracker ratio that I can see from here.


Devin:  Always?  I always blow things out of proportion Bro?

Caleb:  Yeah, one thing gets brought up and you're all Ugh Ugh Ugh (making King Kong-like sounds).

Devin:  Dude, who's had your back when you're up there all upset all of the time?

Caleb:  I haven't said you weren't...

Devin:  Then why are you talking to me like this right now?

For the record, Caleb is being very calm, just trying to talk to Devin.  Here's some better views at the crackers for you.  It must be a hearty cracker, to not crumble as Devin waves them around in his giant mitts.



Caleb:  I'm just trying to tell you how people feel...

Devin:  What are you talking about Dude?  

Now they go around and around about how Christine is on board, and how Amber put these ideas in Caleb's head.

Caleb:  People in this house are afraid to tell you what they think.  Christine was scared of you the whole time she was up there...  go get her...she'll tell you!

Devin:  What are you talking about?  Did anybody else here that? 

He asked Derrick for confirmation.

Derrick:  She said she was nervous when you brought her up there..


Devin:  Then when she got up there she was fine...she wasn't nervous or scared...when you get out you can watch the tapes...there are cameras all over out here...

Caleb:  We're not saying that you yelled at her or punched her in the face or nothin'....

Devin tried to pull Frankie in on this conversation, but Frankie stuck to monosyllabic utterances.  As you can see, the crackers are still maintaining their round shape, which surely means they would be an effective delivery method for any dip or chunky spread.


Now this whole drama is centered around Christine, and how she does or doesn't feel.  Frankie tried to tell Devin that Christine will do whatever the group wants her to do.  Devin sees her through the sliding door and starts motioning for her to come outside.


Derrick:  No...you're going to scare her to death...

Devin wants to stop all of this "He Said She Said" stuff and get it all out in the open, with everyone right there.  Frankie says that will cause too much drama.  Devin clutches his crackers, shuffling them from hand to hand like poker chips.


Caleb:  It'll show in the votes.

Devin:  What?  Where did this all come from?

Frankie and Derrick both assure Devin that Christine is fine, she'll vote with the alliance.  Devin opens the back door and goes halfway inside, and then Christine comes out, stammering and stuttering.


Christine:  Were you waving at me a few minutes ago to come out here?  I'm sorry...

Devin:  Were you afraid when I was up there talking to you?

Christine:  I get nervous when Derrick pulls me aside....when Caleb pulls me aside....anybody!



Devin:  Were you afraid at any time up there?

Christine:  No, no...not at all...that you were going to harm me or something?...were you going to harm me?

Devin:  No, but at any time did I raise my voice?  Weren't we just having a conversation about the nominations?


Devin:  Don't you feel that Brittany has the potential to make more game moves?  It's not personal...

Caleb, sharply:  You said in your nomination speech that it's personal!

Devin, still clutching his crackers:  ...it's a little bit of both, Bro!  It's 50-50..are you satisfied and happy with that Bro?


Christine says she's still undecided about who needs to go this week.

Devin:  He said (motioning to Caleb) that you didn't want me to put up Brittany at all.

Christine:  Me? I don't care about Brittany at all.

Devin says that is all he wanted to say, and he went in the house and slid the door closed.  The status of the crackers is unknown.

Christine:  I'm so confused....why was all that necessary?

Derrick confirmed that Caleb just tried to have a conversation with Devin "like a man" and he "flew off the handle".  Derrick also tells Christine that Devin wanted to bring her outside twice but they told him no.

Derrick:  The only reason why you were out here is because you were standing right there by the door.

Christine:  I was scared just now, during that!


Derrick:  We know that...we're not morons..do not sweat it one bit.


Derrick:  If you're going to talk to him, just be sure there is another guy there...even Hayden counts.

Hayden comes outside saying "I'm a guy...I'm a guy..."


Devin went upstairs to his HoH room, followed closely by Frankie.  His mouth was full of something, so I can only assume the crackers met their demise, much as the Bomb Squad will do shortly.

OK.  Devin leaves the HoH and goes back outside. He's breathing harder now, all worked up.  Devin pulled Caleb out to the middle of the backyard, babbling the whole time about Caleb speaking to him in a disrespectful way.

Caleb, exasperated: It's half the house, Dude!

Devin:  OK.  There's no more alliance then...no more alliance!




They keep walking, going their separate ways.

Devin:  The whole thing's done.  It's over!

Caleb:  That's fine.

Devin:  Enjoy it.

Caleb:  If that's how you feel...

Devin:  That's how I handle it!

(What, you take your crackers and marbles and go home?)

***AND SCENE***

***ALSO***

Amber was laying on the hammock with her HoH basket blankie during this whole conversation.  Caleb has been walking around the house with the blankie draped around his neck, so I bring you the following picture so you will know the origins of Caleb's blankie.

5 comments :

  1. loved the scoop on the cracker situation!

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  2. Just know I will be watching for those crackers when we see that scene on the CBS show....

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  3. Are they the TollHouse oval crackers? Can you imagine if Derrick and Devin had to question a witness and did the good cop/bad cop routine? It would be so terrifying. I bet they'd get lots of confessions.

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  4. No, not oval shaped...

    Once the house guests know the truth about Derrick, they are gong to look back and realize he was being a cop the entire summer. Like after this all went down, Derrick commented that he needed to walk throughout the house to ensure Devin wasn't terrorizing anybody. And he always knows exactly who was involved in a conversation, and where they were located.

    Devin is terrifying, no matter what his profession is..

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  5. ***IMPORTANT UPDATE***

    I just heard Devin tell Jocosta that he was eating cookies at the time of this incident.

    Mystery solved.

    But I'm guessing a ginger snap, as there were no visible chips or assorted adornments.

    ReplyDelete

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