Thursday, July 18, 2013

Big Brother After Dark - Look at Me! No, No, Look at ME! But WHAT ABOUT ME? - 7-17-13 #BB15


This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Wednesday night.  Helen is in the remaining day of her HoH reign, and Aaryn, Spencer and Jeremy are nominated for eviction.  Somebody's going home on Thursday night, and that somebody is likely to be Tall, Tan and Handsome.

Hang on to your panties Julie Chen, because Jeremy is coming out to see you and he hasn't flirted with a  new lady for over a month now.

OK.  Enough chatter.

As the show opens we are in the HoH with Aaryn and her raspy voice, talking to Gina Marie.  Both girls are dressed up, with hair and make up, and are obviously discussing Candice.

Aaryn:  It's not like, my job to be an olive branch extender.

GMZ:  Well, you did and I'm proud of you and it's up to the other person to accept the apology or not.  Give it a couple of days and then see.

Aaryn:  It's like personal like, animosity when you don't accept someone's apology.  Like, she accepted your apology, and she's cool with you and she's cool with him.  So that's the point when I realized that it's personal with me.

GMZ says she might just be having a bad day, but Aaryn says she's tried twice, three times, and now it's her having the problem.  She may not even try again.

GMZ:  Your hair looks nice.

Aaryn:  Like, what's the deal?

GMZ:  I dunno.  You want me to talk to her?

Aaryn:  No...with you. I feel like you're not like, hearing what I'm saying.

GMZ says she's listening, but she's "not her" and she doesn't understand why "she" feels how she feels.   Aaryn pushes back and points out GMZ doesn't seem to be understanding her, or listening.  GMZ patiently repeats what she said again, that Candice might be having a bad day and she doesn't know why she would accept Jeremy's apology and not Aaryn's.

Howard comes in and is getting dressed up to, and is wearing long pants and no shirt.  GMZ laughs too hard at him, saying she likes the pants and he leaves.  The second he leaves Aaryn starts picking at GMZ again, wanting to know why she isn't really listening to her.

(I think Aaryn is freaking out about being on the block and is suspicious of everything right now.)

GMZ:  I do understand, but I can't give you an answer because I'm not her, so I don't know what she is thinking.

Aaryn flips her hair back and says AGAIN that she doesn't like how GMZ just told her to try again later, and how dismissive she is being.  Aaryn is wearing a lavender sheer top with a gold stretchy top under it.  There is a white lace panel on the back of the shirt and it has a halter-like back.  Very '80's, I think.

They go around and around with GMZ throwing out ideas to talk to Candice and Aaryn keeps shooting her down.  Aaryn is worried about her alliance with Kaitlin and GMZ says she hasn't spoken to either Jeremy or Kaitlin today.  Aaryn asks if she's going against her now and GMZ denies it.

GMZ:  Why would I go against you?

Aaryn:  Well, he's trying to get everyone else against me.

GMZ:  He knows I wouldn't...so why even waste your breath, right?

Aaryn feels alone, like she has no one else in the house.  Now Helen comes in and GMZ starts shieking and is obviously very excited about something..  Helen is wearing Judd's bear shirt and they are looking at the dining room table on the spy camera and are very pleased with themselves.  All of the dining chairs have been moved to resemble an audience setting, facing the kitchen counter.  I think they are having a special ceremony tonight, as I see everyone milling around the kitchen and GMZ joins them..  Judd is eating a large dill pickle, and when GMZ sees McCrae she asks where Amanda is.

McCrae and GMZ go in the Cockpit and are up to something.  GMZ wants something with a diamond and McCrae is going to find something and show GMZ tonight or tomorrow.  I think they are going to give Jeremy something on the live show maybe?  Or maybe GMZ is going to propose to Nick?  Who knows.

Now we see Elissa wearing a one-shouldered dress saying she is getting ready for her "fitness segment" and we hear GMZ laughing in the background like she is yelling, too.  Because the backyard is still open Amanda doesn't think the HoH competition on Thursday will be endurance.  McCrae goes over to the hot tub where Jessie and Judd are sitting and then to the outdoor fridge.  Aaryn comes over with a spoonful of something and she is also wearing some sort of boots and jeans with designs on the back pockets.

Inside Howard has put on a shirt and a newsboy cap and his Clark Kent glasses.  GMZ keeps talking about "Roscoe" and I'm not sure who that it.  Howard is sitting next to GMZ on the couch and mentions Andy eating "all the damn granola".

Andy:  Howard, no one was touching the damn granola all week, and the minute I start eating it you start in on me.

GMZ, laughing:  The damn granola!

Andy asks Howard if he is the one who put the granola in the Ziploc bag and Howard says No.  Andy admits to eating that granola, too, and also the entire box in two days.  As we go to a break I see TVGN wants us to know that starting Friday at noon, there will be a "Big Brother Catch Up Marathon", with "all ten" of the CBS episodes. 

When we return we are at the bathroom mirror with Elissa and Candice.  Candice is trying to wear a leopard-print gauzy shirt that I recognize as belonging to Elissa.  She is having trouble buttoning it and tells Elissa she is just too fat and Elissa murmurs "no you're not".  Now we jump to GMZ and McCrae in the Have Not room and it sounds like the show they are putting on is a wedding of some sort.  (I guess that's why they need a diamond.)  GMZ says she can hold the dress, or maybe just be a bridesmaid.  Candice is going to be the flower girl and McCrae says Elissa is a wedding planner so they should talk to her about it too.  GMZ is very excited and says this is going to be awesome.

Now back in the bathroom Elissa is telling Candice that she will never have a relationship with someone, and it's best that they stay away from each other.

Elissa:  She's like a party girl, and we have nothing in common.

Now everyone is gathering in the kitchen area and as usual Helen is barking orders, telling everyone where to sit and what to do.  I think they are having a show like The Talk and Helen bellows that Howard will do a sports segment.  GMZ is wearing Amanda's blue blazer and has rolled up the sleeves and may or may not have a shirt on under it.  Helen bellows out a two minute warning and everyone pours coffee and Candice gets juice.

Helen passes out red and black napkins for the "Showmance Showdown" and GMZ giggles.  They are going to use the tall kitchen counter as the table for the show's hosts, and the other chairs are arranged in front of that like an audience.  Elissa wonders if she's in the Aisha Tyler seat, and then says she will be in Sharon Osborne's seat.

Helen:  The show is called The Roscoe Report.

In the backyard we see McCranda smoking and Jessie is reporting to Judd and McCranda what GMZ said earlier.  Amanda  is wearing some sort of black strapless garment and McCrae is laughing.

Jessie:  Oh, and Aaryn was saying that Jeremy is getting to people, and they may swtich their vote.  And how he was starting rumors about her and she doesn't trust him anymore.

Amanda:  She's JUST getting that now?

Jessie:  And that's the news!

Amanda jokes that should be Jessie's news segment, to just out all of them.  Amanda has been running low on cigarettes, I think, and seems to be sharing McCrae's every time I see her smoking now.  McCrae could use a Bright Smile session.  Just sayin'. 

Jessie is wearing a skin tight light blue skirt and thinks it's all kind of ridiculous to even talk game today, because they all know Jeremy is leaving.  They can speculate about who will win HoH but no one actually knows.  McCrae thinks Jeremy knows the truth, that he's leaving.  Kaitlin told McCrae that Howard and Jessie are coming after her, but McCrae told her that was ridiculous.

McCrae:  Why is Spencer so on top of you right now?

Amanda:  On top....of you.

Jessie:  It's putting me in a weird spot because if I blatantly avoid him that would be bad, but if I hang out with him people would think we're in an alliance.

McCrae thinks she should keep doing what she's doing, and maybe Spencer just wants to make sure he has her vote.

Amanda:  Or he has a crush on her.

McCrae thinks it is a little of both, and Judd mumbles that Spencer does have a crush on her.  Now back in the kitchen Helen is fucking yelling at everyone and we see Aaryn sitting in the audience next to Spencer, who is sitting next to Andy.  They joke about having security on set and many words are blanked out.  Aaryn is planning to make more coffee cake after the show, "for Howard".

(Get those votes, Aaryn.)

Helen is yelling that they need clothes for the fashion segment, when Aaryn will "showcase the fashion of the BB house".  I see Amanda is wearing Candice's dress, with the mirrored pieces on the chest, and maybe this is the dress from the story that Candice told last night, where it fell down on the airplane and exposed her boobs to all of the passengers.  (You can read last night's BBAD recap here.)

Helen says they are going to announce their "Mazel of the Week" and I wonder who Helen will award that to?  Maybe herself?  As a mom?  This show is 23 minutes in at this point, and I have not heard Helen say she is a mom yet.    GMZ is so pumped right now and is the old Gina Marie we knew, bursting with excitement and positive energy.  She can barely sit still and taps her hands on the table.

Helen:  Amanda are you going to do a slop commercial?

Amanda:  No, I'll let McCrae take that one.

(Amanda HATES Helen and it is so obvious.)

GMZ wants everyone to do a mic check and gets all of the ladies to say "Check one two three four five......nine ten" as we go to a break.  I know now that TVGN is timing their breaks so we don't miss any of this exciting show they have planned.

When we return we see a close up of Andy trying to clear some stuff out of his back molars with his tongue.  Probably the damn granola.  Judd is sitting behind him as they discuss how dry their skin is.  Spencer is sitting quietly with his usual expression and his beard.  GMZ announces there is 30 seconds until they go live and yells at Judd to stop doing something, and we hear him drawl something that may or may not be in English.

Helen holds up a package of tortillas as "the clapper", I guess, and they start the show to much clapping.  Helen is the host, of course, and she welcomes us to the Roscoe Report and for some reason holds up the tortillas in front of her face.  I guess she thinks she is Julie Chen now.  Seated with her on the panel are Candice, Elissa, Jessie and Gina Marie, all around the oblong table.  Helen yells that she is excited everyone is there,  and this will be a weekly report if their sponsor funds it.  She holds up a bucket of slop as the sponsor, and wants to thank them for their support.  I see Amanda in the audience looking over to the side, at McCrae, and I know she will have much to say about all of this later.

Helen:  I am your host Helen Chenbot.  Yes I do look like Julie Chen, and I am her sister.

(I am not going to be able to cover Helen's every word.  As Amber from BB8 would say, "I can't.  I just can't.)

She introduces the rest of the cast and now she talks about her boys, and how she is a mom at exactly the 30 minute mark, in case you are keeping track or playing some Helen-based drinking game.  Candice describes herself as "single" and her segment is going to be called "Keeping it Real with Candy".    Elissa tells them no fighting in the studio audience, as Jeremy makes some sort of disturbance.  Elissa's segment is "Exercise and Eating Right with Elissa" and she also mentions being a wife and mother.  There is a lot of clapping and I see Amanda is not in a clapping mood, apparently.

Jessie gives a shout out to University of Texas, and makes "the horns" and says she has a little "Chaweenie" dog named Ari, and will be doing investigative reporting for the show and tonight's feature will be about cracking the mysteries of the Moving Company Alliance.  Now GMZ introduces herself as Gina Marie from Staten Island and she is at her best, fist pumping and Amanda does participate in the fist pumping as they make the "dog pound" noises.  GMZ is going to present sports-related content.

GMZ:  My last name is Zimmerman, but I'm not Jewish but I'm going to bring you the Mazel of the Week.

(Copying Andy Cohen from Watch What Happens Live, of course.)

Helen regains control of the group and says two people from the audience will participate, Aaryn with a fashion segment and Howard talking about sports.  And there is more clapping.  Always with the fucking clapping.  And Helen is laughing and announces Jeremy will present the Showmance Showdown, and Andy will do the weather and give an update on the current Have Nots.

Helen says she "doesn't have her cards" so she forgot about some of the segments, and now wants to talk about this week's Hot Topics.

(Copying Wendy Williams from her own talk show.  Wendy will cut a bitch, Helen, so you'd better represent.)

She brings up Kaitlin winning the PoV and there is more clapping.  There are two jars of Peter Pan peanut butter on the shelf behind Helen's head that the director should have moved.  Helen says all of the portraits from the PoV competition were great, and they agree that McCrae in the Napoleon pose was the best painting.  Helen brings up her fucking nail party and calls on Aaryn to elaborate.

Aaryn:  We had delicious cheeses, and olives, and did our nails.

Helen yells at her to hold them up so she holds up her hand and we can see the glittery polish.  Andy holds up his manicure, too, as Helen goes on and on about this week's tribute to New Jersey Housewives.  Elissa attempts a Joisey accent and then GMZ wants to share the three elements of being a guidette.  The first is a spray tan, then extensions, and also eyelashes.  And still with the fucking clapping.

Now it is Andy's turn to report on the weather.  This is what he said "Today, it was hot.  And tonight it was a little colder than it was during the day."  And more fucking clapping and merriment.  I think they are clapping more whenever it is anybody besides Helen speaking, and I think this might be deliberate.  I will monitor this and keep you informed.

Now we are ready for Aaryn's fashion report and once again, more clapping.  Aaryn announces that she is going to bring up different articles of clothing, and they will guess who they belong to.  She returns with the first garment  and Helen has moved her seat to give Aaryn more room.  Aaryn is holding up a bright red or orange dress in front of her, and is pretending to model while GMZ describes the dress but needs help with the word "ruching".

They guess it is Elissa's dress, and then they end up naming all of the girls, and it ends up being Jessie's dress.  ****clap clap fucking clap***  Helen says it is a beautiful dress, and Bebe is a great designer.

Now Aaryn returns with a pink sheath dress and Andy yells out that it belongs to Spencer.  (ha ha) Now they shout out names  and Aaryn is a great spokesmodel, holding it up and smiling.  Candice wants to know what is on the label and it is "Alice and Olivia" so Candice guesses Elissa.  (That is a real designer label.)  But then Helen confesses it is her's and Elissa says it looks really cute on, and not like an "office" dress.  ****clap clap fucking clap*** 

Now Aaryn comes out with a bright yellow pair of sweatpants and Jeremy says those are GMZ's.  Helen says that after seeing the "ass on those pants" they must be Gina Marie's.  ****clap clap fucking clap*** 

GMZ:  Oh!  You _______ got me!

Now Aaryn comes out with a blue dress  and everyone yells Aaryn or Helen and Helen yells out that it is her's, again.  ****clap clap fucking clap*** 

Aaryn is going to bring out one more item, but Helen mumbles this is only an hour long show.  No clapping on that, though.   Aaryn now returns with a huge gray T-shirt and Helen says she has no idea, even though it is the Conway T-shirt Spencer wears every day.  They all laugh and clap as we go to another break.

When we return Judd has joined the panel and the cheering and applause is thunderous, perhaps because Helen is now sitting in the audience, and the rest of the panel includes McCrae, Howard and Gina Maire.  Judd has unbuttoned his shirt and Elissa yells that this is just too hot and they all laugh.

Howard says Judd is the king of bandana ball right now and GMZ interrupts to say that unfortunately someone isn't there any more, one Nicholas Uhas, also known as "Skeeter" was the actual person who could take the championship from Judd.  Helen yells out "controversy" and then Judd can hardly speak before being interrupted by GMZ and Helen.  GMZ wants him to show his technique and Judd stands up as McCrae takes off his yellow bandana and quickly tries to fashion a ball out of it.  Judd shows them his stance, and the steps, and then the arm motion and they all clap as they sit back down.

Elissa stands up in the audience and asks Judd if he's planning on going to the Olympics, and he says this is a dream of his and he will try to qualify.

Jessie raises her hand and asks if Judd is single.

Judd:  I'm currently single right now.  And I'm ready to mingle.

And the ladies squeal and laugh.  Aaryn throws her head back with laughter and Amanda does clap as he says this.  Howard thanks Judd and McCrae and they return to the audience, so I guess we missed McCrae's contribution.  Howard explains that the new volleyball tournament is "off the chain" and GMZ asks a few questions to hype this up.  He says they have had more bruising from volleyball then any other tournament.

Now Helen is back on stage with Elissa and she invites Andy and all of the Have Nots need to come up to the table.  They make their way to the seats and Andy welcomes them, saying that he was a Have Not for two weeks, so he feels their pain.  He asks Judd if this week was harder than his first as a Have Not.

Judd:  Well, as you know, being a Have Not _______ blows.  (laughter) But it was a little easier this time 'cause I knew what to expect and we had a little guacamole and grapefruit.

Judd knows how to work the crowd by holding up an arm to the camera and thanking America.    Andy has a follow up question for Judd, asking how is guacamole without chips or anything to scoop it with.

Judd:  Well, that _____ blows, but you make what you can with it and move on.

Andy likes that attitude and they all clap.  Now Andy asks McCrae about being a die hard Big Brother fan who has said in the past that he wanted to be a Have Not, just for the experience.   How does that statement feel now, does he regret it?

McCrae:  At the beginning of the week I absolutely regretted it.  It was hard and miserable. I was angry and I hated everybody.  Sorry everybody.  But getting past that first couple of days, the mid week hump I feel better about it.  If I have to do it again I will, it's part of the experience and Amanda is a great cook.

Andy:  Thank you.  A very candid response.

Now he asks Jessie about the "mid week slop freakout", saying he coined the phrase himself.  Week one he cried in the HoH room, and in Week two he threw a tantrum and tried to throw a bed.  He wonders if Jessie experienced this.

Jessie admits she did have a mid-week freakout, and appreciates the house guests who came to "her aid".  She was standing at the stove cooking slop and was lethargic so she grabbed the frying pan with her bare hand and burned herself and started crying.  Howard finished her cooking and Spencer brought aloe vera and she got through it.

Andy says his final question was for Amanda and then says they are out of time.  (funny)  So the Have Nots rejoin the audience and Helen asks if Amanda has anything to say.  Amanda says she invented "Slapsa" which is a combination of slop and salsa, and if you get your period on slop and get delirious it is called being "Slop Happy".

Now it is time for Elissa's report and she is going to give them all a chance to make some wise decisions.  She pulls out a container of Whey protein and a slop bucket.  Then she says it is going to get tricky so she puts out a package of Chips Ahoy cookies and wants to know which one they think is most nutritious.  Elissa has red polka dots painted on her fingernails and they look fantastic.  The slop is most nutritious because it is packed with vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates and protein, with very little added sugars.

Helen, yelling:  So the key to being healthy is to volunteer to be a Have Not.

Elissa feels vitamins are very important to the diet, and gives them an exercise tip to do a spine twist and tells them how to do it and she is brief and to the point.  They may have been mocking her but she didn't put up with it.  Andy's face was red and he was giggling behind his  hand, so we know something was up.  Helen announces it is time for a commercial break and TVGN must be under Helen's spell, too because we also break now.

After the break the "Roscoe Report" returns and I think we just missed Jessie's investigative report. Helen still can't let go of the spotlight, as she takes a seat to give Jessie her feedback.  She tells Jessie that her investigative reporting was excellent, and I think she is being incrediby patronizing as the crowd keeps up with the fucking clapping. 

Now it is Candice's turn and she says she wants to "pull up some guests" and asks ladies on the panel to "please move". People laugh as Candice says she's "just keeping it real".  Candice says on "Keeping It Real with Candice" she is going to "say the shit that no one else wants so say", and calls up Amanda and McCrae.

People clap and Amanda starts grumbling as they move to the table.  They sit pretty far apart and Candice asks if it was love at first sight?  Everyone laughs and McCrae says "Ladies first".

Amanda, kind of joking:  Yes.  It was love at first sight.

Candice:  Love at first HoH win....that works, too.  Now, I hear that McCrae is a pizza delivery man, and you told me you make $134 each week.

McCrae:  It's $136 dollars...

Candice:  Amanda you are a very high maintenance Jewish mamacita, so McCrae how do you plan to take care of her and your five children?

(No, that wasn't an offensive stereotype.  Not at all!)

McCrae:  Well, we've talked about this a lot, and actually she will be taking care of me..

Everyone claps and Amanda shrugs and throws up her hands to acknowledge what he said.  Now McCrae fistpumps on that and they all make the "dog pound" noises.   Candice wonders if they have anything else to say and McCrae announces he is "deeply and madly in love with this beautiful lady". (!)

Candice, yelling:  I knew it!  I knew it!

Helen, yelling a lot louder:  Will you get married on our show?

McCrae:  No, it's a little early for that.

Candice says he knew they were in love when McCrae went to get Amanda tampons from the storage room.  (I covered this exciting event in this post, just after the PoV competition ended.)

 Everyone says awwww and McCranda takes their seats in the audience, but I must point out everyone still calls them "McCrae and Amanda" and has not given them a couples nickname yet, which just feels wrong to me.

Now Candice calls Aaryn up to the table and the crowd is almost completely silent.

Aaryn:  So.....this is happening.

She sits down leaving an empty seat between them and Candice begins, with a smattering of applause.  Candice says in the spirit of forgiveness they have had a talk, and extended an olive branch, and wants to know what is Aaryn's biggest lesson she has learned in the house.  When she said "olive branch" she stuck out her arm and made Aaryn shake it.

Aaryn:  Probably to invest in a Grade A muzzle!

And we hear Helen laughing just a little too loudly, like Henry or Charlie just made a funny or something.  And I feel it is unclear who Aaryn intended to wear this "Grade A Muzzle".  But with that the audience claps and Candice excuses her, calling her "darlin'" and Aaryn is relieved, holding her arms out as they clap for her.   Now Candice calls Gina Marie up, and she scurries right over there to take a seat right next to Candice for her "interview". 

Candice:  So, you fell really hard for a Sh____.  (laughter)  We all think he's a Sh__.  Can you please let us know why you got to know the real ______.

GMZ:  OK.  Um....to be honest I don't know an answer about why he opened up to me above anybody else....maybe 'cause we're both from New York, and uh, like little by little he opened up to me more and more and I had people come up to me and "axe" what is Nick's deal, and I kind of don't know and I hear things that he never necessarily told me.  And it makes me feel like I didn't really know him, but we did have a connection and I hope he's in good spirits and I can see him when the show is over....we can continue where we left off.

Candice asks her to look into the camera and give Nick one short blurb about how she's been feeling since he left.

GMZ:  OK.  Nick I miss you.  Everyone thinks you're a cool guy....a little bit of a shady _______, but we are, I'm going to make an announcement here, we are going to have the memorial here on Friday and you guys are all invited, and that will be laid to rest on the corner of  Gibroni Way and we will have tea and crumpets later. 

Candice says that was beautiful and everyone fucking claps.  Elissa says from the audience that she has a question, and wants to know she beleives they were soul mates, but when she first asks it I think she referred to Nick as "George town" (??) and has to repeat the question after cracking up about it.

GMZ:  Do I believe we were soul mates?  Nah.  Cause I mean...I don't know, but he kind of works at the events that I go to, but I had to meet him here in the BB hosue.

Elissa:  Was he a hand model at these events?

GMZ:  No, I think he was a roller blader, rolling around selling hand model tickets.  But I don't know if we're all here to meet each other for some reason, and I all want us to have fun here, play hard , smile and have a good time.  Rock on man!

Now here comes Helen, who is fucking YELLING and calls the other ladies back up to the table.  Amanda comes in from outside, where I guess she needed a smoke after McCrae's shocking public declaration of love.

Helen says they had a lot of fun things happen this week, and asks GMZ to give her Mazel of the Week and she calls up Amanda as a special guest who is Jewish.  Amanda doesn't look thrilled, but comes up there anyway.  I'm pretty sure Amanda would be more enthused if this were her own show, and she was in charge.  (Remember the first night of the live feeds, as she did her stewardess act?)

They have three possibilities for the Mazel, and GMZ says she got everybody's vote today, and she wants to review what the choices were, holding up a different paper cup for each choice.

1.  _____  ______  ______ from Helen, as she lifts something in the air.  For all I know GMZ said the Fucking Fuckity Fuck or something, because it was all blanked out.

2.  AKA ________  Scarface!

3.  Melissa from New Jersey, and points to Elissa and makes her stand up.

Now they have a drum roll and Amanda announces Helen is the winner and everyone cheers, but nobody cheers as loud as Helen Kim as Helen Kim does, of course.  As we go to break Helen is talking about closing the show and I think it was time for Jeremy's Showmance Showdown.

When we return Jeremy is indeed "onstage" and is asking questions as people hold up red or black napkins to indicate their response. Most of the house guests are "onstage" as well as half of the house appears to be in a Showmance.  Note that Howard and Candice are up there, too.  Jeremy calls on Andy to ask the last question.

Andy:   Um, alright.  Contestants, or ladies, is your man....never mind...

Helen, yelling:  Oral sex or sex?

Andy's face is BEET RED and I guess Helen overtalked him so we don't know what his actual question was.  There is a lot of uncomfortable confusion and Jeremy clarifies "what would you prefer, oral sex or sex". 

Jeremy:  Oral sex will be red, and vaginal sex would be black.

(Where does that leave Andy?)

Helen overtalks him now, saying this is just "in their life" and not in the BB house.   On Helen's LOUD count of three they all hold up napkins.  Jeremy looked exasperated as Helen stole his thunder and had to control even this, his last hoorah in the house.  Everyone on the panel holds up a red napkin except GMZ and McCrae, who both hold up black ones.

Jeremy tries to thank the crowd but the scene is very loud and Helen wraps it up.

Helen:  WOW.  WHAT A SHOW LADIES! 

She thanks Big Brother Slop for sponsoring them and the studio audience and wishes luck for everyone tomorrow and "let's win".  The crowd breaks up and I'm wondering when the ugly will start...I hope it's soon because the TVGN show is more than halfway over. 

Oooo  Elissa brings it as she stands outside with the smokers and says "that was kinda rude".  Judd chuckles and Elissa says that "that kinda caught her off guard", and that "Amanda was pissed". 

Now in the Storage Room Jeremy is meeting with Helen,  telling her that "she is willing to vote for Aaryn as well".  We see Kaitlin and her too-dark lipstick in the kitchen as Jeremy says this, so I know he is talking about her.  Helen says okay and there is luggage already in the storage room for the nominees to pack.  There is a big pink flowered bag that I hope is Aaryn's, rather than Spencer's.  Helen thanks him and they both leae the room.

Jeremy returned to the kitchen holding plastic bags and announces he is "making nuggets AND pizza".  Helen tells Jessie "Good job Jessie" and now Elissa gives Helen MORE kudos, saying she was the hostess with the mostess.  Kaitlin is cooking, probably helping Aaryn make the coffee cake, as she unwraps sticks of butter And puts them in a bowl to melt in the microwave.

GMZ says the night was "awesome, and they couldn't have planned it better".  Kaitlin must be making something else, because I saw her shake parmesan cheese into the bowl, too.  Maybe garlic bread?

Outside they continue to talk about the many offensive comments in tonight's show.  Spencer says that she basically called Amanda a "Jew Girl"  and McCrae is laughing and smoking with vigor.

McCrae:  Oh man.

Spencer is eating a Granny Smith apple and Helen comes back outside "with Roscoe", whatever that is.

Spencer, muttering around his bite of apple:  I'm ready for a new HoH.

Amanda says "yeah" and now they kiss Helen's ass AGAIN about what a great show it was.  Helen wants to play volley ball and now Jeremy comes out to make his announcement about making the nuggets AND the pizza, if anyone wants it.  He says "sorry" as he realizes that the Have Nots probably do want either or both of those tasty items.

Jeremy apologizes to a few people, saying "they told him to pull ya'll both up there" and I guess some of the people in the Showmance Showdown weren't excited to participate. 

Jeremy:  They just wanted more contestants.

Jessie:  Like they could have any more contestants!

Jessie must be wearing a push up bra because she is sporting A LOT of cleavage tonight that shocks me every time I see it.  The change in Jessie's chest is SIGNIFICANT in her black tank top.

Judd:  We appreciate the target you slapped on our backs...

Jeremy, laughing:  Oh shut up! 

Andy:  Yeah, you two weren't on my radar, but now that I know you're a couple....

Judd and Jessie both laugh and take a drag of their smokes.  Amanda asks Andy sarcastically if that is the question he was waiting to ask her all day.  Andy walks off .

Jeremy, joking:  Look we're out of time....the Jew Girl got you!

Amanda:  Zing!

Now they joke about having secret alliances and Jeremy and McCrae both admit they are circumsized, and Jeremy adds the word "very".  Spencer asks Judd and I guess he said yes because Amanda said everybody is in the house.   Amanda jokes about "turtle heads" and they wonder if it is a religious thing.  Spencer thinks that boys should "do whatever their father did" so they can look the same.

Jessie brings up some TV show where "Matt" circumcized himself, or something like that.  Judd saw the show, and Spencer adds that "Kimber is so hot", and he says she is also in a movie with John Cena and Jeremy has seen that, too. Andy comes out eating a very fresh-looking banana as they all try to guess the movie and we go to a break.

When we return we see Amanda in the Eames Room with McCrae and she has changed out of Candice's dress and they hug in the middle of the room.   They want to lay in the hammock so McCrae grabs a blanket and they both head outside.  On the way he passes Helen and says that was "so fun" and he "really enjoyed it". 

Helen really wants some alcohol and says she already asked for it, and "after that show" they might get it.  Amanda is walking across the backyard now telling someone "no, I'm not mad...no way" and then she is in the hammock.    They ask McCrae to come over and get his hat, saying someone sat on it and it is all smashed.

McCrae:  That is one thing you don't do to a person from Minnesota...sit on their hat!  It's all smashed now!

It is the safari hat from the first competition he hosted and of course the hat is fine.  He puts it on, laughing, and heads back over to the hammock.  Then he takes it off and throws it like a frisbee, leaving it on the fake grass and climbs under the blanket with Amanda.

(I wonder if the CBS attorneys advised to cut back on the booze, after the whole bed flipping scene last Thursday. I heard Helen say that they only got alcohol one night since she's been HoH, so that might very well be the reason.  They really can't afford someone pissing off Howard and having him lose it...he could really kill someone and has already stated he thinks "they" want him to do that by letting the racist actions continue.)

On the couch Elissa is eating a plate of something crunchy and says that she liked Judd talking about the Olympics.  They don't think any of it will be on the CBS show but Spencer points out they are on BBAD now.  Candice meant to tell "Howie" that his outfit was extra cute tonight.

The camera goes over to the hammock where McCrae is smiling and they are talking really low.  Amanda says "I don't think she meant it that way...it kinda came out that way, but  I don't think she meant it".  Amanda repeats it but McCrae says something else I don't hear.  Amanda says that he did really good, and jokes about him not being ready to get married yet.  McCrae repeats the words "truly, madly, deeply" and Amanda says everyone must be so confused by them.

We missed some of the Showmance Showdown questions, but they apparently involved the type of kissers they are, and Amanda says McCrae is not sloppy.  Amanda asks if he would really rather get head then have sex?  McCrae makes up a reason why he said that and I think he misunderstood the question.  She says she doesn't want to play on a team with him if he is going to mess things up  like that.  She tells him his sports report was really cute and Andy comes over and calls them "McCuties" and she calls him a dick.

Amanda said she was waiting for his question all day, and thought it would be a really good one.  Andy jokes tomorrow is a double eviction and she can win HoH and evict him.  Amanda says Jessie was not happy to be pulled up there and she is in a "nomance" not a "showmance".   Andy says it is weird that the backyard isn't locked down yet and McCrae says it must be a majority rules competition tomorrow.

Andy wants to gather the team to decide what to do if they have to spin a wheel for their answers.  Amanda doesn't want Spencer or Howard to match them, or to win, pointing out that Helen won't play.  Andy wonders if they should tell Jessie, and McCrae says maybe they should just go with the flow.

Andy wonders what Spencer and Judd are talking about.

Amanda:  Probably how hot Jessie is.

McCrae:  He's so worried about being portrayed as a showmance.  It's so funny.

Andy thinks if it is endurance it might not take that long to set up.  McCrae says that the challenge were they have to stand up has been used every year, so it might be easy to set up.  Andy thinks it might be a double eviction and the competitions will be very simple.  Amanda thinks they won't do that until they do away with the MVP twist.

Andy:  It's scary..but it might be good to get rid of a few people.

As we go to a break Andy says, "as long as it isn't us..."

When we return we see Andy on the backyard couch with Spencer, and Spencer says that if he wins he would definitely put Gina Marie on slop because of "something he witnessed today".

Judd:  The ice cream?

Spencer:  No.  She poured a glass of chocolate milk and there was still another inch or two left in the carton, enough to pour another glass, but she just threw it away.

Andy:  WHAAAAT?

Spencer laughs and says she wasted a whole glass.  Judd wonders if he told McCranda that and Spencer says no, this is the first time he's spoken about it.

(McCrae had MAJOR issues with Jeremy drinking all of the chocolate milk this week, but he Knew His Role and Shut His Hole about it.  That milk is a major highlight for all of the Have Nots, as you might imagine.)

Judd:  That bitch needs to be put on there, then.

They laugh, but Judd says "no, I'm tellin' ya'll the truth..." and says that he and Jessie were talking about how GMZ gets a free pass often, because she's funny and makes everyone laugh.  But she's gotten in Jessie's face, and in Candice's face..  Judd wonders why everybody else gets the blame for things, but not GMZ.  Andy says she doesn't really play the game like everyone else is, which might even be a bigger scary threat.

Back in the hammock they are rocking back and forth and talking about GMZ, too, going on and on about how she's going to have a date with Nick.  They laugh about how she still blames Judd for everyone flipping last week to vote out Nick.  Amanda must have kicked off her Ugg slippers because I just saw them fly off onto the faux grass.

Amanda:  She's so loyal to you, though.

McCrae:  I know.  It's so funny.  But Judd is so pissed off at what GMZ said to him about him, Andy and Helen ganging up on Nick.

Amanda wonders if people think she went after him after he won HoH, and all of America too, based on what Candice said tonight during the "show".   McCrae mumbles something like "I don't know...I don't know" and she asks if he thought that when she was up there with him in the HoH room.

(I admit I thought that, Amanda, and I'm part of America.)

Amanda thinks it was mean of Candice to say that, but McCrae says not to worry about it.

Amanda:  It makes me look like a whore.

McCrae:  No, not if you stick with me.  Elissa was up there all of the time, and Judd was too.

Amanda says it just makes her sick, because it is so far from the truth.  McCrae has his arm around her and says it doesn't matter to him.  He says if Howard wins HoH everyone is "going to be so far up his ass" and mentions that Howard wants to get Amanda away from McCrae.  You can hear the drone of voices from the couch, as Spencer and Judd discuss something as we go into the last break.  I think they held the breaks during Helen's "show" and are making up for it now.

When we return Spencer is talking on the couch and Jessie is saying that she didn't need to be called out like that.

Spencer:  You had a very stern look on your face.

Jessie:  Just because it was Jeremy doing it.

Andy:  It is getting harder and harder for you to hide your disdain for Jeremy.

Jessie agrees and Andy says she is getting into "Elissa Territory".  Elissa is sitting next to Jessie and Jessie demonstrates how Elissa just smiles at Jeremy and nods her head.  Howard is out there laughing as Andy says he can tell when Elissa is "totally pissed off" and they joke about Elissa "giving chops" to Kaitlin and maybe that is the "fuck you" smile. 

Elissa was going to name her "biggest slacker of the week" and it was going to be Howard for saying he would do yoga with her but never following through.  Andy says in Howard's defense he did a lot more than most people this week.

Spencer:  Judd did take four naps in one day...

They all chuckle and Howard says that Elissa came in to ask about yoga when he was busy reading the Bible and she says she was just joking.  Jeremy comes out with a plate of food and might be forgetting that two Have Nots are right there on the couch.  He sits in Spencer's place as he goes into the house and Judd gets up and goes in, too, as we see Jeremy start to enjoy his yummy looking pizza.

Jessie thinks Elissa should pick on the smokers next week, talking about how bad it is for you, and Elissa starts to talk about what a "carcinegenic lung" looks like, and it doesn't sound pretty.  It is all black and tarred, and now she jokes that she will push the nicotine patches, compliments of CBS.  Spencer comes back out and Jessie jokes that her next investigative segment will be "what's that funky smell in the backyard?"

Elissa brings up the "stinky smelly towels "in the back yard, and the "extensions on the pool table".  We get an extreme close up of Jeremy's hand holding the last bit of his first slice of pizza, as Elissa goes on and on, pretending to be on TV describing what is in the backyard.  Jessie one-ups her by standing up and stripping off her clothes to reveal her bikini and the horrid tattoo she has on her left ribcage.  The cameras covered that little show as Jessie stretches, and then to back to the couch to show us Spencer staring with his mouth open. In his defense I think my mouth was open, too, as I waited for cheesy porn music to start playing any second.  It was a very "Showtime" move on Jessie's part.

Elissa is droning on and on about the nasty things that happen on the hammock and Jeremy has to pretend it is funny.  He needs that vote, but he's not gettin' it, huh?  Elissa goes to start a load of towels in the washer and we hear loud water rushing sounds as Jeremy sits alone to finish his plate of food.  I'm guessing Elissa's microphone was right next to the washer as she turned it on.

Now we go back to the hammock as Amanda talks about how to get into the Screen Actor's Guild and she is called to the DR.  In the final moments of the show McCrae gets up, too and we see Judd eating a bowl of slop at the kitchen counter as GMZ chatters non-stop about making up her own words.  Helen is there, too, and I'm sure they are congratulating themselves AGAIN about what a great job they did on tonight's "show".  Judd just stares at one of them, and then the other as they talk and talk and talk, spooning slop into his mouth slowly.

I know he's thinking about that wasted chocolate milk, and how Gina Marie needs a taste of her own medicine.....

No comments :

Post a Comment

Your comments are welcome, but please do not include links to other websites, no matter what they are. All posts containing links will be deleted.

Also, if possible please don't be a jackass.

Thank you!