Ashley and Frank have been hanging out before Frank leaves tomorrow (Friday) to visit family and friends in Memphis. These two have the munchies, Cali style.
And Frank got a new hat.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
It will come as no surprise that Evel Dick bitched and moaned constantly this whole season about how much he hates Big Brother, SuperPass, and pretty much everyone and everything. That gets old. The fact that Evel Dick tends to tell the same stories about himself over and over and over gets old, too. I was excited that Mike Boogie was going to be a guest, but I think he ended up blowing Dick off on two scheduled occasions. I'm guessing he found out what Dick was saying about him and his legal problems and decided to make other plans that night. Just a guess.
But having bitched and moaned myself now, the $9.99 I spent for the Dick at Nite early bird season pass was a bargain. Maybe I will go back and listen to all of them that I missed and just write some bullet points of noteworthy information. I love to hear him spill secrets about production, and tell stories about what happened when he met this person or that person.
OK. Enough about that. Let's go.
1. One of the most interesting things is always watching that Evel Dick cannot sit still. He can't sit still for even one second. He filmed a little intro to try and explain that this will be a two-part episode and he is all over the place.
Ian: Well, they've already found it.
Dick: Oh? So you're fucked.
Ian: Pretty much.
(Ian announces his email address numerous times on the live feeds, so unless he is talking about his phone number, he has no one to blame but himself.)
3. Ian is going through crap now like friend requests from people he hasn't seen since 6th grade, women emailing them asking him to date their daughters, etc. He says it is pretty cool. Dick says there will be a lot more but he has only been out of the house for a week and there will be much, much more.
Dick says about the people from 6th grade who wanted to reconnect with him, "fuck you motherfucker...there's a reason why I didn't want to talk to you then!" They both laugh. Now Dick says a pretty woman who was a famous artist wanted Dick to move in with her and be her "man toy" somewhere in Tennessee. Dick had to turn her down. Ian's reactions are very strange, and so are his vocal and facial impressions. He seems to be on loooowwww speeeed. I'm not saying I think Ian is stoned. But I'm not not saying that.
4. Ian was sure he had a better chance to win against Dan then Danielle. He remembers people saying that they would rather spit on Dan than to look him in the eye, so he thought he would have a shot. Dick was not a big fan of Dan's game in BB10. He realizes that you have to do a fair amount of lying on BB, and considers himself one of the most honest people in the game. Then he goes into a BB8 situation about evicting Jessica in minute detail and goes on and on about it. Ian nods here and there.
Dick thinks Ian was a pretty honest player, but he did screw over Mike Boogie. Dick wants to talk about that in detail later, including the mistakes the other coaches made. Right now he does want to keep talking about Dan.
Ian has watched the show only up until Janelle went home, and he is noticing that things are a little different than he was led to believe. He says that the episode where Shane blamed his nomination of Frank based on "wishy washy comments" that Ian made just isn't true---Ian thinks he was the scapegoat. Dick says the Armchair Quarterbacks will always tell him things like that, but that he lived the show and he didn't get to see the HoH conversations and the DR sessions that viewers know about. And he says some people who live in front of the computer watching the live feeds feel they are the best players ever.
Ian agrees the difference is that as a player you don't have all of that information. If he knew all of the information he would have known that the QP was going to screw him over, but of course he didn't know that until after the Finale.
5. Dick says if you know that Dan screwed over so many people, why did you trust him? Ian acknowledges that, but Dan told him that he was "his Memphis" so he thought Dan would screw over everybody else but him, in a manner similar to BB10. Dick says that at the BB10 Finale, Dan killed it on the final speech, but "Memphis looked like a retard".
Dick immediately starts trying to soften that statement by recounting the times he has visited Memphis' clubs, and hung out with him, but then says Memphis came off "like a complete tool" at the Finale.
Dick: The toaster could have beaten Danielle.
Ian says that he was concerned about beating Dan at the Finale. They got stopwatches in the storage room so that they could practice their speeches. Dan was excited about that and Danielle was kind of like "whatever" about it. Ian told BB that he didn't want to practice his speech---he was going to make it up as he went along. He never memorizes speeches and says that is a "shitty way to make a speech".
Ian: So I guess what happened is Dan gave an ass-licking speech to the Jury and they saw right through it.
Dick: It really was ridiculous.
Dick thinks Dan used most of his same speech from BB10, and that "ass licking" is a great way to describe it. He mentions how Dan talked about Jenn's record sales while she was trying to vote, and how Dan tried to interrupt Ian while he was answering Julie Chen's questions.
Ian says he said Britney led him up to the HoH on a leash, but it was actually Jenn. Dick thought Dan was trying to demean and embarrass Ian and that is not how he played the game last time. Dick thinks it came off as desperate and Ian agrees.
Ian admits that he did make comments under his breath while Dan spoke, but Dick says Dan started it. Dick says usually the votes are already decided before the speeches, but this does not seem to be the case with BB14. Ian says Jenn said she changed her vote, and Joe said he did too, after listening and watching their speeches and interactions.
Now Dick says that Joe is so forgettable, and how he shouted in the DR. Dick also says that Dan turns his head to the side when he talked in the DR. Ed brings up Natalie from BB9 and how she got up close to the camera when she spoke, as he demonstrates below. (terrifying, right?)
6. Dick says what killed the season for him was that the Coaches entered the game---the Coaches twist was "a fake twist".
Dick: How can you bring three of the best BB players of all time, and Britney...sorry...
Ian: It's okay.
Dick: And there were two winners there! And you give them a 4 week eviction pass...
Ian counts three eliminations that they were saved from. Dick thought that was a huge load of horseshit. Dick brings up Boogie saving Ian the first week---Ian says that sort of thing happens all the time on BB. With the "golden POVs" and the "coup d'etat", etc. Ian also brings up Andrew form BB12 getting saved the first week.
Evel Dick feels that BB7 was the last time that there was an even playing field, where every player had a chance to win the special powers. Now Dick continues his Bitchfest by bringing up how there was no eviction the week of the reset.
Dick: The coaches were coming back in, and the Producers didn't want Boogie swinging out there alone...and Frank was a Fan favorite. The Producers robbed us of probably the best blindside since my season, with Dustin.
Ian: Very possible.
7. Dick wants to know how Shane reacted after the Reset week basically killed his HoH reign. Ian said that he and Britney were really pissed off that Shane had won the HoH and the POV and were in perfect position to evict Frank. Production said it was fair since Shane could play in the next HoH.
Dick: What was the most fucked thing for you this season?
Ian: That benefitted me? That Pandora's Box with the golden veto ball...the timing was perfect for me.
Ian thinks a minute and then says that the whole week they referred to Ian's POV as the "second POV" but then he had to use it first, before the other POV. Dick brings up another BB8 situation that was similar regarding a slop pass "since he knows that season better", but Ian has to correct his memory about the other house guest it impacted.
Ian says that he didn't even think about how the order of the POV impacted him until someone mentioned it to him outside of the house. Dick said that Production and the entire viewing audience knew that Dan was gone that week, so they gave Dan two chances to either win the POV, or find someone who would use it.
8. What was Ian's best and worst time in the house? The worst was when Frank won the HoH and when Britney got blindsided. Ian was "inconsolable" for 48 hours and drank a lot of booze.
Dick: You talk some shit when you drink!
Ian: Yeah, I do. I walked right up to Frank and told him he played a shitty social game. Probably not the best idea at the time, but it was pretty funny.
(He also criticized Frank's hair in a very rude way.)
***I usually like to take a lot of pictures, but there is very little to see here. I'm almost worried about Ian. He seems very listless and depressed. You would never guess he just won a half million dollars and his favorite TV game show. As you can see every picture of Ian looks the same. I wish Dick would ask him how he's doing, or even where he is. I assume he is at his parent's house?***
9. Now Dick brings up the Funeral, and says it was such bullshit. Dick mentions Dan's "nomination roulette" ceremony in BB10 and wonders how Ian fell for it? Ian agrees and says that when he made Danielle cry it should have tipped him off. Dick says that Dan referred to the Funeral at least three times during the Finale like it was the greatest thing ever. Ian says it likely made people mad, and he might have gotten Joe's vote if he had just copped to the Quack Pack's existence.
Dick thinks Dan came off too confident, like he was grandstanding to make a good TV show. Dick thinks the DR loved all of that Funeral shit and admits that Dan did save the last part of the season. Ian agrees---it would have been too much of a streamroll without Dan. Dick brings up how great the show was when Frank was living on the edge every week----it reminded him of James Rhine and how he had to win every week and how exciting it was.
Dick wants to know what Ian would say to the people who are griping that Dan should have won the game. Ian says that part of the game is Jury Management---if you want to make a bunch of mastermind rules that piss off every person that you voted out, you're not playing it right. Dick says that he will see Dan say in the DR that Ian was leaving several times, particularly before Ian won the live Shark Maze POV.
Ian is glad he didn't know how crucial that win is, or he may have frozen up. He says he won enough competitions that he didn't have to backstab anybody in his own alliance. Dick brings up Russell Hantz as someone who can get to the end of the game but not get any votes from the Jury because he treated everybody like shit.
10. Dick mentions the things that have come out since the finale, like Britney saying "Dan would have been beaten in the end by a bottle of ketchup". Ian heard that, too. Dick interpreted that to mean that Dan fucked over so many people that there was no way he could win, but other people say that the Jury didn't want someone to win the prize twice.
Ian would have voted for Dan if he didn't screw him over too bad---what happened in BB10 didn't matter to him. He thinks several of the jurors felt the same way during the game. Somehow this transitions to Dick saying that Mike Boogie "rode Dr. Will's coattails and that Will should have gone to the final two in All Stars".
(Sour grapes from the Mike Boogie podcast blowoff, I'll bet.)
11. Dick says that Janelle called him before the season started, and was feeling him out to see if he might be a coach. And Dan called him out of the blue, asking what was up, and Britney did too. Dick heard from "everybody but Boogie". Once it was leaked who the coaches would be, the only "question mark was Britney".
Ian says he heard that information, too, and that Danielle Reyes was going to be a Coach instead of Britney.
(Maybe Ian read that here? Pre-season was an exciting time on my website.)
Dick thinks D. Reyes would have made a lot more sense if it was really a Coach's Twist. Dick knows Ian is friends with Britney, but he thinks the only reason Britney was cast was for her DR sessions. Ian has not seen the Boogie eviction episode yet, but Dick says her goodbye message to him was one of the funniest moments of the season. Ian has seen that clip and said it was indeed funny.
When Janelle called him, he told her to "get Dan out first". Now Dick badmouths Mike Boogie again and says he should never have been on All Stars but that he and Janelle played so personal this year and they should have known better. He mentions Mike's mean goodbye to Janelle that was very personal, where they should have been more strategic. Ian says he noticed that there was personal animosity between the Coaches, with Dan and Boogie teaming up in the beginning to go after Britney's team.
Ian thinks they should have evicted Danielle and not JoJo to get rid of Dan. Dick agrees and AGAIN brings up BB8 and minute details of who he talked to and what he did. And when he blew his nose and took a pee break, and what he ate aftewards.
12. Ian says he pissed people off in the first week, after his naked antics and poor judgement in the house. He knew that if Willie left the house he would be the next target so he wanted him to stay around.
Dick: Did you hear what everybody's been saying about Joe not washing his hands?
Ian: Yeah, I was in the house and I heard it.
Dick: People said that in the house?
Ian was sitting right there when he walked out of the bathroom without washing his hands and everyone just looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Ian never got sick in the house but he does wish he had said something to Joe about it. He was confronted himself about shaving his chest over the sink, so he thinks he should have talked to Joe about it. Joe knows about it now, Ian says.
Dick wonders what Janelle's mistake in the game was. Ian mentions Danielle saying that Janelle was on the plank of the pirate ship the longest of the coaches, so they wanted to get rid of her since she could wreak havoc in the long run. He said Janelle thought she was staying until the last day or so.
13. Now Dick brings up Mike Boogie again. He says that Mike had no idea that Ian was involved with his demise until Julie Chen told him, and "he almost shit himself".
(No, Mike knew at the back door of the house as he was leaving, actually.)
Ian: Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah...
He thinks if there was an All Stars Two with Good vs. Evil he might be on the good team now, but he thought he would be evil while he was in the game. He thinks his scenes in the lab when he was kidnapped and the talk of how smart he is would have made America think he was a "pompous douchebag".
Dick brings up people who feel they are loved by America in the house, and then find out later that America hates them. He brings up April from BB10 and that she was shocked when America hated her. He says that he heard Ian say on the feeds that everyone would hate him. He felt the same way, too, and says Ian is the only other person who has ever thought that America hated him.
Dick says it is great to find out that everyone loves you, and Ian says that is indeed a great feeling. But really, "what did he care?", because he was there to "get the check" and to win. When he went into the house he was so worried they would vote someone out in the backyard immediately. Then he noticed that when he was talking Britney looked at Dan and shot him a look like "this guy's got to go". So he thought his chance of winning went from 2% to 1% at that point.
14. Ian says that on the first day, they were all drinking champagne and hanging around, then Julie Chen asked everyone to go into the living room. He was worried at that point. Then the coaches came in after about half an hour they learned that someone would go home that night. Ian really hated that twist and Dick agrees that they put people through so much to get in the game and then it is horrible to send someone home. Dick mentions how people were left on the front steps of BB7 and also thought that was sad.
Ian thinks Jodi would have been a good social player, even though she made some people mad after just a few hours in the house.
Now Dick brings up how the fans say that Danielle is psycho and Ian is nodding, saying he's heard all about what they are saying. Dick says one thing he hates is when the fans try to interfere in the player's personal lives.
He says Danielle spoke at some school about cancer, and people bombarded the school with complaints, calling Danielle a liar who claims to have cancer, and they tried to get the decision-makers fired. The fans also tried to get Ronnie (BB11) fired, and also Dan after BB10 (and probably now, too.)
Dick says Danielle brought this on herself with her lies and Ian says many of them were pointless and unnecessary. Ian doesn't understand why she lied about her job---he wouldn't have cared one way or another. Dick thinks that the only example he can think of when someone's real job hurt them was Jimmy Johnson on Survivor. The other guys were too jealous to let him stay on the show.
Dick now says that Sam Levine was supposed to be on the show today but "Dick totally spaced on calling him". He says that Sam is a huge fan of Ian's and called him as the winner early on.
Dick: Do you know who Sam Levine is?
Ian: No...not sure..
Now Dick lists Sam's acting credits and Ian nods. Dick mentions that Dr. Will also picked him to win, too and Ian is aware of that as well. Dick thinks that people thought it would be easy to evict him when the time was right and Ian agrees. Ian ended up winning a lot of HoH and broke the record for consecutive wins. (?)
15. Ian discusses how Frank was strong and won things, but then talked about it later too much. Dick says that Mike made it so that it was him and Frank against the house. Ian could see that Boogie was going to be evicted quickly and he needed to make a change. It would have been him and Frank against the house and then Frank would have gone next.
Dick wants to talk about Ashley. He asks what the DR was giving her...was it muscle relaxors?
Ian nods: Something like that.
Dick: She was fucked up out of her head, almost the entire time she was there.
Ian agrees, and that she couldn't even play in one game. Dick mentions Ashley wandering around behind the set during the HoH competition. Ian laughs and says that is a competition he won, and that his parents told him about that. Dick tells him about Ashley's lawsuit, and Ian is also aware of that. He doesn't want to talk about it, obviously, but he does say that he doesn't think there is much truth to what is being reported.
Ian says Mike told him to keep acting goofy in the house so that people wouldn't feel threatened by him. That is where they hatched the idea for the Slop Date. Ian says he thought she was pretty and was the only girl who would give him the time of day at first so that is what happened. Dick tells him that the show really tried to play up their Showmance and Ian shrugs about that.
Ian: I'm 21, and I like to flirt with pretty girls.
Dick also mentions how the show played up the Shane and Danielle angle and asks Ian if he has talked to them.
Ian: I've talked to JoJo, Jodi, Dan a little bit...Joe has contacted him....Frank and also Ashley.
He hasn't heard from Shane or Danielle. In fact, he hasn't spoken to Danielle since they appeared on The Talk. (They were both at the SuperPass party later that evening...) He then says he "will get around to it" and says he just got a new computer and is getting back up and running.
***end of Part 1***
(You can read my coverage of Part #2 here.)
Ian did finally do something different visually, by drinking coffee out of a Las Vegas coffee cup that I presume is new. I will try to recap Part 2 as quickly as I can, once it is available.