Monday, September 17, 2012
This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Sunday, and in the wee hours of Monday morning where I live.
The Final Three are in limbo, waiting for the live show where the winners of the first two parts of the HOH competition (Dan and Ian) will face off against each other to see who will win the Final HOH. They will also face the Jury and their questions that night. Until then, there is not much to do for them, besides trying to ensure that they will be the ones taken to the Final Two. And at this point, it's a little too late for any big revelations, in my opinion.
OK. There are only three BBAD episodes left, counting this one...so let's go.
1. As the show opens, Dan and Ian are laying in the Skid Row bedroom, and are discussing their favorite topic, Frank. They say how deplorable his exit from the house was, and how unsportsmanlike his behavior was. Ian says that Shane had good reason for being so curt on his way out, but Frank's behavior was inexcusable.
Ian repeats twice his comment about misfiring and hitting a doe the first time (Ashley), but then aiming again and hitting a 12 point buck. He tells Dan that he said this in his good bye message to Frank, and he thinks the line describes the situation perfectly. But he worries if that will anger Frank too much to get his vote. Dan doesn't think so, he thinks Frank will take it as a compliment. Ian asks Dan about his own good-bye message to Frank and Dan says it wasn't good, but as usual does not elaborate.
Ian points out that he won five competitions, and they were spread out to one per week for a while now. It is clear that Ian is working out his arguments for the Jury, and for some reason he thinks it is okay to share all of this with Dan.
(Ian may have memorized everything about past BB seasons, but that doesn't mean he has good judgment or clear insight into what is going on around him. Right now, and all season.)
Dan gets called to the DR and passes Danielle, who is in the kitchen. We know right away what kind of mood she's in from the tone she uses, and what she says.
Danielle: Are you alone?
Dan: Yes, why?
Danielle: No reason.
She goes outside and plops down on the couch.
2. Ian comes outside and goes over to the hammock to get his slippers, and then goes over to the couch area and asks Dani what is up. She gives him little one-word answers and then gets into the real issue.
She tells him that she's been angry since she found out that Dan and Ian had a deal. She expected Dan to backstab her and cut her, but she didn't expect that from Ian. She demands to know how long they've had a deal, but all he will say is that "he and Dan look out for each other".
Danielle: How long? Since week four?
Ian: I was working with Britney.
Dani: But after she left? You had a deal with Dan?
Ian, looking guilty as hell: We looked out for each other.
She wants to know if Ian knew what was going to happen last Thursday. He says no, and that although Dan said he might try and do something to help, he expected to be evicted, and told Dan that. Dani wants him to admit that he won't take her to the end, but he doesn't. He just looks down and you can tell he wants to be anywhere but there.
She says her opinion of him has changed, and that she expected him to play with ethics. She keeps saying Shane will be so disappointed to hear what happened, and that she will be sitting right next to him after she is evicted. She tells him the vote will be 5-2 for Dan, and Ian pushes back on that math. She tells him that Frank, Ashley, Jenn, Shane and herself will vote for Dan.
Now she says that she is mad that they did these things behind her back. Ian knew that both she and Dan would take him to the end.
(She was going to take Ian and not Dan? Wouldn't that make her a bad person?)
Danielle is going on and on, playing the poor pitiful me card, not realizing that neither Dan nor Ian are going to consider her feelings with the choice they make on Wednesday.
Danielle: If you cut me, my vote is for Dan. If Dan cuts me, I expected that, and I will vote according to the speeches. If you go up against me, I think you'll have a better chance than you will against Dan. That's just my opinion.
(Did she just give Dan a pass on evicting her? I think she did.)
Ian: I would have fallen on my sword for the Quack Pack. We got to the Final Four. But if I had left last week, there would have been no hard feelings.
3. After commercial there is a long period of silence. Danielle would rather go out fighting, then hiding behind a "frickin' villain". She points out that if Ian wins the final HOH, he will have won two more competitions than she has, and that will help him with the Jury.
Danielle: If you think that Dan will be nice to you in his speech, you're dead wrong! He will tell all of your little secrets, he'll make up shit! He said that in Week Two! Not about you, but that he would make shit up if he got to the end!
(Dan was still a Coach in Week #2, unless she means the second week after the reset.)
Ian is quiet and looks down most of the time, sighing and looking at his hands, the pillow, anything to avoid looking at her. She says she has been avoiding him, not wanting to hang around him, because she doesn't have anything to say to him. Now she is bitching about having to take medication to sleep at night...she says she feels like Britney in BB12, but worse.
Dani: Just so you know Ian, if you do take me to the end, I'm not gonna say anything bad about you in my speech. Just so you know.
A plane flies overhead. It is a jet and that is the only sound. I think Danielle is desperately sad and wants everyone else to feel that way, too.
Ian: I just wish we could all hang out like the Quack Pack days.
Danielle: I don't want to. I'd rather be alone all day until Wednesday, rather than to hang around with someone like Dan who screwed over the entire Quack Pack. If Dan wins it, then my opinion changes. I know that he will cut me, and I'll be in a rage when I leave.
(I think this is all part of the plan to get Ian to throw the competition to Dan.)
Danielle: How would you feel if you were me? How would you feel?
Ian: I did. I thought I was leaving last week, before the Final Four.
Now she says what if Boogie was here instead of Dan, and he had "a funeral against you" and then you found out that I had something with Boogie, ...blah blah blah. This analogy goes awry several times, and she has to change course several times to try to get her message across. It didn't work.
Danielle: How do you think....never mind. I'm not going to say it. I'll let you find out. He's one of the meanest people to play this game, and you don't think he'll belittle you in front of the Jury?
Ian: Oh, I'm sure he will do that.
(If Danielle were serious about this conversation, she would tell Ian how Dan wanted to evict him during the Double Eviction, and then wanted to get rid of Shane, finally settling on Joe after Danielle objected.)
She says she has been working on her speech to the Jury in case she goes, and it is going to be tough.
Ian: Well, I hope it's not personal.
Danielle: Oh, it's gonna be personal. Sorry but I'm telling you that right now.
She claims that Shane is "gonna look at her and ask her who to vote for". (How insulting is that for Shane?)
4. After commercial she is telling Ian the list of things that Dan has done to hurt her and lie to her in this game. Then she reiterates that if Ian cuts her, she will never vote for him. But if Dan cuts her, she is expecting it, because that is how he is, and she will vote for him to win.
Ian sees the flaw in this argument, and says even after he lied to you three times you would vote for him? That doesn't make sense....
She glosses right over that and keeps repeating it. Ian just hopes they can all be friends after this. Danielle says she doesn't know about that, and says she needs space and gets up to leave. She says she is sorry for yelling at him yesterday, and he can come find her anytime if he'd like to discuss the matter further.
After she goes inside Ian makes a "whew" sound and immediately goes to the hammock to start rocking. He recites whatever he recites at a time like this, all I can hear is the word Frank. Then he leans over to the left and rocks like that for a few seconds. The camera gets behind him and shows us what he sees.
He can see the backyard, and also inside the sliding doors a little. Danielle comes back out and is going to do laundry. There is a large stack of towels on the deck by the dryer, just piled up so I assume those are dirty. Danielle takes a load out of the dryer and starts a new load in the washer. She leaves a pile of laundry on the pool table and goes inside.
Ian says something about "that bitter..." after she leaves, but I can't hear the rest of his quiet rant. Now he is carrying on an entire conversation with some imaginary person, with hand motions and gestures.
Suddenly, out loud : I don't respond to threats. Period.
5. We see a quick camera shot of Danielle sitting on the couch, and then it's back to the squeaking hammock for us. Suddenly Ian made his "monster noises" and then burst out that he's "playing the game with frickin' children!".
(ha ha ha)
Now he's carrying on quite a conversation with himself and maybe someone else, but I can't hear it. He is using hand motions and may be practicing his speech, but to be honest he does this sort of thing all of the time.
For about 10 minutes he rocks, and Dani sits on the couch alone in the living room, blinking and staring up at nothing. Then Ian goes in the house and heads straight for the WC. No words are exchanged.
Ian is still storing his partial wardrobe at the end of the couch, in a messy pile. Danielle suddenly sits up, but doesn't really move. Turns out she must have heard Dan coming out of the DR. He appears a few seconds later, glancing at Danielle and then having a short conversation with Ian in the kitchen. Ian is going to get something to eat, then go back outside.
Dan says he's going to lay down, and goes over to the couch. He asks Danielle if there is anything good on TV but she ignores him. After the commercial, Danielle busies herself staring at her cuticles. while Dan lays and watches the flat screen. The TV displays a continues picture of a screen saver, with gyrating colors and patterns.
Dan: We're watching TV, and people are watching TV, looking at us.
Danielle: I wish we really could watch TV.
Dan: We can. It's called the Paint Splatter channel.
5. Ian made a turkey sandwich and sits down to eat it. There is a lot of silence, and it feels uncomfortable. It is not a good type of silence. There is tension.
Suddenly Dan starts acting strangely, reciting a lot of words that rhyme with luck. He doesn't say the eff word, but after Danielle adds "yuck" to his list he starts laughing maniacally that he "needs to see the psych!" and repeats it.
Danielle asks him what that is from, and he says Rennie said it and it is on You Tube.
Dan: I need to take a shower. Show her. Everybody ever notice that shower is "show her".
He starts laughing and is talking about how Ian should drink cow urine or something instead of Diet Coke. Ian looks a little exasperated. Dan also repeats "I need to see the psych" several times.
(Is this Dan's new plan? To act crazy?)
Dan: If you go to DanGheesling.com you can sign up to get personal insight into my personal life. For a limited time only.
Dan: Well, I've lost my mind. So I think I'll go lay down for a little while. Try to find it in the Bible.
He leaves and then goes immediately to Skid Row, where he thumbs through his Bible. There is a BB card that says "TRIP" in the pages that he is using for a bookmark. Now Dan goes to the glossary of his bible and reads aloud the definition of "envy". And it is about concerning yourself with "your neighbor's good fortune".
Now he reads the definition of "eternity". The cameras close in on this page, and we can see it just as if we were there with Dan. Now the definition of "Eve", where apparently "sin had it's beginning". Now "evil", which is the antithesis of good.
6. Finally we go back to Ian in the dining room, where he makes a loud exasperated "monster noise" and gets up and rummages in the fridge.
(None of these three people ever work out, but maybe they should to pass the time and manage their obvious stress and boredom.)
Ian gets a package of chicken out of the fridge and is going to prepare it, apparently.
Now we hear Danielle in Skid Row with Dan, furiously whispering to him that Ian told her that he had a Final Two deal with Dan since Day #55. She is upset and wants to know why Dan didn't tell her that. Dan is kind of playing it off and seems irritated with her, saying the deal "is a bullshit deal, and is a Joe deal".
Danielle: Is that why he's here? Because of your deal?
Dan: Did you think about coming to ask me?
Danielle: I'm asking you about it now! Why are you acting like this?
Dan asks if he "was supposed to tell the kid no?" Danielle is mad that he didn't tell her this, and is putting her head in her hands. She is getting angry.
Dan: It's no different than your deal with Shane.
After commercial the two of them are still talking. Danielle tells Dan that she made Ian cry outside while she was talking to him. Dan is surprised and wants to hear more. He looks amused.
(Ian was miserable during the conversation, but he most certainly did not cry.)
Now Danielle tells Dan everything that she said, with a few embellishments. She drags Britney and Shane into the conversation wherever she can as she discusses the threats that she made and how Ian "just sat there and took it".
(That part is true.)
Dan listens and then asks if she thinks Ian will throw the competition. She vigorously nods yes, saying that Ian just put his head down when she was talking to him. She wants to know what else Dan isn't telling her. He is laughing and says there is nothing. That stuffed monkey is next to his head. She is going on and on about how he didn't tell her about his deal with Ian...can he imagine how she feels right now?
Dan, laughing: Sorry, I forgot!
Now they go around and around, with Danielle angrily accusing him of things and him laughing it off. Now she mentions him being her coach and he laughs, saying "what is there left to coach? there is nothing left!"
She brings up his secret deals with Janelle and Dan says that she made those deals with everyone in the house, except her. Dan says Danielle knew what she was getting with him, and she says she thought she was getting the Dan from Season 10!
7. I with they would stop whispering, if they are going to break up like this. Just have it out and let the fireworks begin!
Dan brings up the situation during the live show when she didn't want to vote out Shane as a turning point for him. He says he was angry with himself for not pulling the trigger that night, so he changed the way he thought and went back to "playing as a coach". He compares this to St. Mary's football. He called a time out and changed the play. It's nothing against her, he made a call and made a decision as the Coach.
Danielle just likes to argue and thinks all of this will change something, but it won't. Ian pops his head in and asks them if they would like a chicken quesadilla. Dan says no thanks and Ian leaves. Dan and Danielle just stare at each other with amused looks. Danielle's acne is completely covered with make up. It's a miracle.
She tells Dan she just wants to come over there and shake him like a rag doll. He wants to know what is different, and she says he just stopped being a team player, just like that. She wishes he had come to her and told her how much he wanted Shane out, so she knew. She's pleading. Please, Dan please.
(This whole thing is like a guy breaking up with you, and then you go on and on trying to change his mind. But he's already moved on and is just sitting there, waiting for the conversation to be over. Yeah, maybe he'll stay for dinner or let you blow him, but it's over. He's been lying for a long time and he's as good as gone.)
8. After commercial this is still going on and on. Danielle says she "needs to see a psych when she gets out of there". Dan says no she won't, because she won't be around him.
Dan: Any other questions? (He's ready for her to leave.)
Danielle: Don't be a smart ass.
Now Dan looks down at his Bible and sees the word "Fate", and reads the definition aloud, about accepting the word of another, and trusting another's authority. Instead of just getting up and leaving, Danielle keeps going on and on. She mentions the first night in the house, and Dan says she told him "four times" that she wanted to be on his team.
Dan: You might not like my first DR. I said I might not pick you because you were overbearing.
Danielle says that's not too bad, but does he still think that? He says yes, he does. She takes this calmly, saying the feedback will make her stronger.
Dan: I need to see the psych!
She doesn't want him to discuss this with Ian, but he says he will. She wants to know why and he says this is how he plays the game. She asks him to stop acting awkward around her, and he comes back at her to define those terms. He doesn't understand what she means by acting awkward so she tries to describe how he is being standoffish and strange.
(Rejected Girl Mistake #16 Thinking any conversation is better than no conversation. Just give him the ring back Danielle and try to get out of there with some shred of dignity.)
We see a quick flash of Ian cooking in the kitchen. Danielle tells Dan she's still waiting.
Dan: For what?
She repeats her question, and says things haven't been normal since Week Three. Dan tells her that he won BB10 four years ago today, and isn't she going to congratulate him? She says yes and then says she cheered him on the entire time, and was so happy he won. He accuses her of wanting Memphis to win and she denies it.
(Dan is being a total asshole tonight.)
She wants him to promise that he will be nice to her. He says he can promise to be sweet, but can't promise that he won't make jokes. She wants him to promise both, but he says she can only request one character trait at a time. Dan keeps laughing here and there and she is really just an emotional punching bag at this point.
Dan: You're still here, aren't you?
Danielle: Maybe physically. But emotionally I'm checked out.
Dan: Well, that's your responsibility.
Danielle: No, you're still the coach, and you're not supposed to let that happen.
Dan: Not when you ingest drugs. You took Allegra this morning.
Danielle: No Dan, that's not a mental drug. And I didn't take mine this morning. It's still in the storage room.
9. She really is a glutton for punishment. She is still there and is telling him about how she's been crying all day and is so sad. He tells her that she shouldn't take herself too seriously in this house.
Danielle: I have so much going on right now...Shane....Trey...Colt....I don't need this right now...
Dan: It's just a game...
Danielle: And now I need to go home and make sure I don't have cancer...
Dan: Other people have issues too in this house..
Dan keeps laughing at her, saying this topic is funny. Danielle says betrayal is funny? Now she says that it hurt her feelings when he told her she probably shouldn't play this game again. Dan tells her that his exact words were that she was too nice to play the game, and she shouldn't twist his words around. Now she says she doesn't know if she would come back if he wasn't there.
Dan: What if I tricked you and told you I was going to be here, and then I wasn't?
Danielle: I would go in the DR, guns blazing!
10. After commercial this is STILL going on. And she wants to rehash how his feelings changed for her after she didn't want to vote out Shane. He says his feelings didn't change, he just took the reins back. She is telling Dan that she loves him just like she loves her own family. He doesn't respond, but tells her she is fishing.
Dan: Understand something. When I coach someone I know what they're going to do, and when they're going to do it. So when you said that, I knew you were just fishing.
(Rejected Girl Mistake #23 Thinking that a pleasant conversational moment means you are getting back together. It doesn't.)
We see a brief flash of Ian rocking on the hammock. (I guess he ate his quesadilla, even though he ate a turkey sandwich a half hour earlier.)
Now in the bedroom there is still a stalemate. Dan is holding Mr. Monk Monk and Danielle tells him to get it out of her face, even though her bed is all the way across the room. They are silent, and Dan is holding up his hands and counting, almost under the covers.
Danielle: If you say anything in your Jury speech that is mean to me, can you please give me a heads up?
Dan: No. Why would I do that?
Dan: You're assuming that I'm taking you.
Then he says he is joking and starts laughing. Now she says not to joke about that. He can joke about anything else, but not that.
(Rejected Girl Mistake #4 Thinking this is the end of the world. It's not. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Just fuck his best friend and you'll feel a lot better.)
I never thought I would say this, but I miss watching Ian rock, and pop, and snap and talk to himself.
10. Now Danielle talks about how she felt when Dan said he was going to stop coaching her. Then she says that she was jealous of Shane's relationship with JoJo. Dan is surprised to hear her admit this, but she says that she and JoJo were so different--she couldn't see how he could like her and JoJo at the same time. Danielle says she was also upset about the personal attacks that JoJo made on her.
Dan says he saw Shane kiss JoJo, but Danielle doesn't want to believe that. After the final commercial break this is STILL going on, but Danielle is under the covers now. She says she has tried so hard to figure him out. He tells her she hasn't done it yet.
Dan abruptly changes the subject to Danielle's "inter uterine device". She says that she gets it checked every 6 months to make sure it is in place. She says she dreads going home and he asks her if she's going to "cut her face" and keeps repeating that over and over. We see Ian outside, rocking furiously, and then back to Dan and Danielle talking about the "abnormal mass" that Danielle needs to have removed.
Oooo now Dan brings up the Zingbot's restraining order comment, and says that in all of the years of Zingbot zings, it was the best.
(Rejected Girl Mistake #54 Thinking the truth is NOT told in jest. It is.)
11. Now we see Ian rocking. I wonder if he's tripping out at being alone in the BB house for so long. It has been over an hour since he's been alone, wandering around.
Now Dan and Danielle are talking about Chelsea's dog, and how Dan hates to have the dog sleep in his bed. Dan says that the dog now fears him so much that he can stand over the dog and it "shakes like a leaf".
(What an asshole.)
Dan says that at the condo the dog would sleep on the pillow, right next to his head. Dan did some research on the topic, and he learned that small dogs try to get on the same eye level as their owners, to establish dominance. He showed Chelsea, but she said that didn't apply to Frank, her dog.
They made a deal to switch the dog's choker chain to a harness, if they put the dog in a crate. Dan says they ended up going back to the choker chain, and that after a week of using it he could drop it and Frank would walk right next to him, rather than pulling ahead.
We see Ian rocking, then we go back to the bedroom where Danielle says there are only two nights left, but she may look back on it and miss it.
Dan: It's fun. It's a game.
Danielle: No, it's real.
Dan: That's the difference between you and me. Jedi are trained to play without feelings.
Danielle asks if he can imagine playing with someone like himself, who feels like he does. Dan thinks for a moment and as the show ends says he did, with Memphis.