Monday, September 3, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Flattery Will Get You Everywhere 9-3-12 #BB14


This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Sunday, and in the wee hours of Monday where I live.

Ian is still the HOH, and Frank and Jenn are on the block.  Monday is when the POV ceremony will be held, when Dan will announce whether he will use it or not.  We expect him to save Jenn, with Joe going up on the block and Frank to be evicted on Thursday.

OK.

1.  The show opens with Dan laying in the Arcade, and Joe attempting to talk game with him.  They are just wrapping up, but Joe is basically kissing Dan's ass and saying that the move he made last week was one of the best ever.  Joe mentioned the Funeral, and Dan said one of his flaws is that sometimes he overdoes it, and says too much.

Joe:  I thought you were just doin' it to do it.  But nobody ever did crack that riddle..

Dan:  About Danielle?  Yeah, she knows what she did.  That's why she's so upset.

Joe is using a lot of "we" and "us" when he discusses playing the game.  I'm sure that is irritating to Dan, because is is kind of irritating to me.

2.  Outside in the backyard Frank and Jenn are sitting on the couch, peeking through the window.  Jenn reports that Joe just came out of the Arcade.  They're not sure if Dan was in there with him, or if he was in the restroom.  They are paranoid, and worried about the POV and what will happen.  Probably whether Joe was trying to talk Dan out of using the POV.

Frank is still talking about Janelle and how she was slandering him behind his back. 

Jenn:  There was a sort of entitlement with her that didn't sit well with me.  The first time we spoke was up in the HOH and she said, "so did you see my seasons?" and I told her that I didn't, because I came to the Big Brother game kind of late and after that, we didn't really speak.

Frank: I was nothing but nice to her from Day 1....I was a big fan and I told her that she reminded me of my mother (OMG Frank why would you say that?) and then I find out she's trashin' me like that all of the time.

3.  Across the backyard at the hammock, Shane is lounging in the hammock, and Ian is sitting up, rocking it as usual.  Ian is comparing and contrasting the BB games of Joe and Jenn.  Ian points out that at least Joe tried to put an alliance together, as misguided as it was.

Ian:  Jenn hasn't done anything!  She put herself on slop for no reason....but big deal, I was on slop for 21 days and a Have Not and you were, too!  She didn't even get a bear on that first night---Frank had to go get another one because she couldn't.

They talk about how everything before the reset seems so far away. Ian has made a good case at why Jenn's efforts in the game are too little, too late.  Ian thinks if he is on the block against Joe it will be an easy vote for him.

4.  Danielle is out of the shower and Shane sits there on the couch and chats with her as she blow dries her hair.  Dan is still in the Arcade and reads aloud some Bible verses that he wants them to hear.  They sit and listen as Dan reads Ephesians, and it is all about how the wife should obey her husband because he is in charge of the house, and she should be "without blemish", yadda yadda yadda.

They listen and then Dan asks them if they think it applies to him.  Danielle tells him, "we're not married Dan", and he says "yet".

(Just when I was starting to like Dan again, he has to pull some shit like this.  Keep your religion to yourself, Dan!  No one is going to obey you here.)

5.  Outside they learn the beer has been delivered.  I think Frank and Joe are the ones drinking tonight.  Frank walks around the backyard, holding the hula hoop.  Jenn asked if he was going to "hula hoop it out" and Frank said he was "going to walk off some gas before he starts drinking beer".

Joe wants to wait until 10:00 pm to start drinking and Frank says, "Aww Joe that is 25 minutes away!".

In the Arcade Room Dan, Danielle and Shane just made a Final Three deal.  Danielle and Shane do a little handshake routine that involves shaking, snapping and fist bumping.  It looks familiar and may or may not be the 90210 move.  Shane taught Dan so now he knows how to do it, too.  Shane tells them that Ian wants to meet later to discuss some sort of "Doomsday Scenario" if Jenn or Joe win HOH.  Apparently this plan involves making sure that Jenn or Joe is nominated, as appropriate.  Shane says Ian wants to meet later to discuss it.

Shane leaves to work out and Dan and Danielle stay behind and whisper.  The door is open---aren't they supposed to be enemies right now?  Dan is wearing his filthy flowered shorts.  If I lived in there I would make Dan put a towel down on the furniture before he sits down in those bacteria-ridden things.

Big Brother tells Danielle to put her microphone on.  She tells BB that she IS wearing her microphone, and she is not obstructing it.  They whisper about making sure that Jenn votes Frank out, but not blaming it on Dan.  Dan said she asked him "are you still wanting to vote Frank out?" and he told her he wants to keep his options open.  I don't think he wants anything traced back to him, which is how he likes to play.

***continue reading after the jump***

6.  In the kitchen Jenn is talking about some girl she likes with Dan.  Her friend was "going to Madrid on business" and Jenn was going to go with her.

Dan:  She's a baller---going to Madrid on business--WTF?

Jenn says that is why it worked out so well.  When you travel so much you miss the other person and it's good.  But it's not always like that when you are together all the time.

Dan:  Do you think you'll get back together?

Jenn:  I don't know....a lot would have to change...on her end.  About 30%, I guess.

Dan wants to know where she's from, and Jenn says Michigan.  Dan laughs at how random that is, since that is where he is from.  He wonders if Jenn will just hook up with her for one night after BB is over.  Jenn says it is a "slippery slope" and she doesn't think so.  At one point in the conversation Dan walked over to the memory wall and said maybe Jenn's friend is like this one (pointing at Ashley) and she just wants "to get some of Jenn".

(Ashley and Jenn?  Hmmmm.)

7.  Ian goes outside with a pool cue and Joe comments that Danielle is "in her PJ's already".  Danielle is eating a banana by the hot tub and says that she took a bath a little while ago, so there is really no point to getting dressed.

Jenn says she loves the hot tub and it has become a "place of comfort" for her.  She wants one in her house.  If she had a bachelorette pad it would be great.  Joe says in a year she'll be married and living in the suburbs.

Frank:  You'll be workin' in finance at a bank!

They all crack up.  Jenn says the name plate on her desk will say "Jenn City".

Joe:  You'll be Clerk City.

He thinks Jenn will meet someone quickly and it will all be over for her.  Joe is drinking red wine and Frank is drinking beer.  Danielle wants to know what Joe thinks about her.

Joe:  It will be four years before you get married.

Danielle doesn't like that answer and argues with him.  Joe tells her that it takes time to find the right man--they are hard to find.  Joe repeats again that Jenn will be married in a year. He wants to come to the wedding.

Jenn:  Oh you'll be at the wedding..

Joe:  I'll probably cater your wedding!

Jenn, looking around:  Oh everybody will be there....well, just about everybody.

They all laugh.  Frank doesn't see himself getting married for a long time.  He wants to date a few years before he pops the question.

Frank:  I can see myself even waiting 8 or 9 months to say I love you...

Jenn:  No doubt.

Frank has told two girls he loved them, and that he really loved one of them.  Then he says he does love both of them.  The first girl he met in the 7th grade, but they dated for 5 years.  Joe tells them that you just don't know what is going to happen, and then it does. 

Joe:  What ya'll don't understand is that I built my whole life around bein' single.  My finances, my  home, everything.  Then I met the right girl...at the wrong time.  And everything changes..You'll all see.

8.  Ian and Shane are playing pool.  Ian curses a lot now.  Back at the hot tub Danielle is saying that she never has wanted to date multiple guys at one time, unless it was really casual. She's dated several guys at one time, but casually.

Jenn:  Ooooo. Several.

Frank:  Wow.  To me several means, like, seven.

They all laugh.

Joe:  So you dated seven guys at one time...


Danielle: No!

Frank argues with her about using the word several and Danielle says Frank is being a dick tonight.  Frank tells her he is drinking a Budweiser and says he'll change once he finishes that and moves on, because "Bud is like drinking piss".

Jenn admits to dating "several" people at one time, but says everybody knew about each other, and nobody thought it was exclusive.  Now Shane and Ian come over to the hot tub and get in on the conversation.

Frank:  Do we have any cheaters out here at the hot tub....show of hands?

Jenn hems and haws and says she may have done that once, but not really.  Joe says he did legally, but it was a technicality.  Frank asks Dan if he ever cheated.  Dan says no, but a few times he has called to break up with someone when something else has come up.  He says that he was "going to Vegas for Big Brother so he just called up and said, sorry...".

Jenn:  Yeah, I've done something like that once or twice...

Jenn told the story about her birthday party that ended up in disaster.  I've heard the story before, but basically her ex-girlfriend, current girlfriend, and some "upper East Side Australian girl she just met" all ended up at the party, and one of Jenn's friends got hammered and started telling the GF that she'd be better off without Jenn.  The evening ended up with Jenn "getting yelled at until 5:00 am".

9.  Inside the house, Frank seems to be trying to make a version of the Chex Party Mix, by mixing the cereal, ground pepper, and hot sauce.  He put down a piece of foil on the baking sheet and poured the snack mix down on it.  He drains the last of the Bud can and puts it in the trash.

Back at the hot tub Frank is working on a new beer, and tells Joe he can't possibly think that those kale chips inside the house are good.  Joe says they are good, and he put them on his salad.  Now they talk about Jessie and how he said that Dan was "skinny fat".   They think that Jessie got fed that comment on his earpiece or something, and he said that to the wrong person.

Danielle:  Why did he keep saying I was staring at his butt?

Jenn:  Because you're the only straight girl in this house!

They all laugh and say it would have been funny if he said that to Jenn. 

Jenn:  I would have been like, what the fuck are you talking about.

Danielle asks Dan if he had a chance to talk to Jessie when he visited the BB11 house.  He said no, because he was up at a podium--it wasn't really a meet and greet kind of thing.  Then he says again how everyone was "just lambasting Jeff" during the challenge he hosted.  He said everyone except Jordan, Casey and Laura were just verbally abusing Jeff and being so mean to him when he would get a question wrong.

Dan:  It was really tense..

(The last time I heard Dan talk about this, he said he pulled Jeff aside and told him that America loved him, not to worry about the sour house guests.)

Now they discuss the finale and how the number of people who are sitting across from them is going to be huge.  Danielle counts the people who she doesn't like who will be staring at her...JoJo, Janelle...

10.  Frank is going inside to check his party mix (I hope).  Ian came outside a few minutes ago and they all clapped slowly---I think it is a new thing.

Dan:  You were up there a long time..

Ian:  I was eating gummy bears.

Frank:  Is that what you kids call it?

They all laugh.

Frank:  I always say, I'm hittin' the sack, and then I'm gonna hit the sack!

They all laugh.  Now they talk about how Joe brought Shane breakfast in bed when he was HOH.  Danielle liked how Joe just admitted it and didn't try to hide it.

Now Frank comes out with his Chex Mix and admits they are a little hot, and very salty.  He says that he is the one who told Janelle she should save Ashley if she wins the Coach's Comp, to make her feel more a part of the team.  Now they discuss how pissed Wil got in the first week when JoJo drank a third of his beer. 

Jenn:  All he wanted was his beer..and then she did that...that was dirty JoJo!

Ian:  That cigarette deal was her downfall.

Now Danielle scolds Joe for trying to make that deal with JoJo.  He defends himself by saying that he had no idea who important one vote could be in the house--he thought it would be a landslide.

Frank:  Can you imagine how things would be in here right now if JoJo was here and Danielle and Dan were gone?

(Dan would have been eliminated as a coach if Danielle had gone home instead of JoJo.)

11.  Ian went to get his telescope so they can put it together for stargazing and says he hopes it doesn't take a screwdriver or something.  Joe says he can work wonders with a plastic knife if he needs to.  Shane thinks it will be strange to see real metal knives when they leave the house and Joe says he will probably cut his finger off. 

Danielle tried the Chex Mix and says it is good.  Ian comes outside with a huge box, as big as a coffee table.  It is an "Astro Gazer HD 700".

After commercials, Jenn is talking at the hot tub about how Jodi grilled her about her marital status and then asked her if she was bi, or gay.  Jenn says she was going to tell everybody at some point, it just seemed ridiculous to do it during their introductions around the circle---she wouldn't expect Dan to introduce himself as a straight guy.  Then when Wil introduced himself as the "token gay" and Jodi said, "no, she is too" and pointed at Jenn.  Jenn said there was a whole row of girls across from her and they all went silent.

Danielle said Jodi came straight over to her and said that Danielle's smile is so pretty, it can't possibly be real.  And she started trying to touch Danielle's teeth and accused her of having fake teeth. Danielle denied it, of course.  Danielle said right in the middle of that Julie came over the intercom and told them to gather in the living room. 

Danielle: I told Ian then that I thought Dan was coming in. And he did!

Dan:  And Ian came over and told me he read my book...

Ian:  I said, it got me here...

Dan:  Flattery will get you everywhere...

Ian:  That's what the lady in my interview said...

Now they talk about they all introduced themselves.  Ian mentions that he said he could fix the hot tub if it breaks.  Shane mentioned his dog Dozier in his intro.  Joe says that Wil just came out and was loud and proud.  Joe spilled champagne on Danielle's leg so she had to stand and try to hide that from the camera.  Kara said she was a bikini model, and Joe says, "Dan says she is first on my team!".  They all laugh.

JoJo introduced herself as a mixologist.  Then Joe brings up how Memphis introduced himself on BB10 as a mixologist.  He said he was a "chef for alcoholics".  When Joe was going to culinary school in Baltimore he was a bartender and on Friday and Saturday night he made "six bills easy".   I'm not sure what that means, but he just clarified that he could easily have $1,000 cash at the end of the weekend.  He made a lot of contacts, too, and Jenn jokes that he can get in a little trouble, too.  Joe confirms that and says he would go out after work and get in some messes.

Joe says if you have a personality and are good at what you do you can make so much money.  Even the bar backs would make good money, and after a few months you can move up easy.  The ladies gave Joe good tips, too as a bar back.  Now they mention the bar Coyote Ugly in NYC and Jenn said it is a great bar.  The crowd got a little worse after the movie came out, but it is still a good place.

Joe says that he kept two bottles of bourbon and vodka behind the bar, but they were filled with water and iced tea.  Then when a customer wanted to buy him a shot, he would have a drink of those so no one was offended.  He might have a customer want to drink with him 5 or 6 times a night and you just can't work like that if you really drink.

Jenn likes to slam those little "5 hour energy drinks" before she goes out, or in the morning if it was a tough night.

12.  The hot tub group breaks up and Shane and Danielle start playing Baggo.  Dan and Ian are playing pool and they call across the yard "Quackity Quack" at each other.  Ian says they are going to have a meeting at 2:00 am and repeats that twice.

Dan went in the house and Ian comes over to Dan and Danielle and mentions when Shane said up on swings during the HOH "QP". Shane says yeah, I caught myself and said it was quantum physics and he didn't think anybody got that.

Now Ian is talking about something I have no idea about---I think it is about trading those stupid Pickachu or whatever cards.  There are some detailed rules and a dice role and blah blah blah.  Dan seems like he does understand the subject and Ian is answering all questions about "retreat costs" and "paying energies".  WTF, I mean really.

Now Ian mentions "his friend Scott who watches the highlights of the show", and the cameras change to Joe, who is mixing something up in the kitchen.   It might have been tuna, but he is really giving it a good hard stir.  Then he walks off in a hurry and leaves everything right there on the counter.

Now Ian says it was Pokemon, then a short break for Survivor, then Yo Gi Oh and then back...he gets called to the DR and runs, telling Dan he' will "make it a short one".  Dan looks around and tells Shane they have extra pool balls over on the side---some doubles.  Shane says he knows, but he doesn't know why.

Dan mentions the POV when "balls were dropping out of the sky" and "they were killing each other out there".  Shane and Dani are pretty competitive with the Baggo game, and Dan wonders why they don't play for something interesting, like a kiss.

Shane:  No!

Danielle:  Stop being a dick, Shane.

13.  Frank returns from the DR and notes that the hammock is turned a different way now---the head of the hammock is facing the different way.  Frank lays on the hammock and watches the Baggo game.  Dan is going laundry of some sort, but don't worry he is wearing his flowered shorts so they are still crusted with grime. 

Now we see the camera view behind Frank's head as he surveys the entire back yard.  It looks so empty back there.

Now Dan is up in the chess area on his hands and knees, hiding.  He is up to something.  Sure enough he snuck into the HOH and is using rope to wrap around Ian's teddy bear's head like a noose of some sort.  He hung the bear down with an assist from Joe, so that he is hanging near the dining table, but is not blocking the window.

He calls Jenn in to show her and it takes her a minute to see it.  She is shocked and says it is "fucking amazing".

Jenn:  I love death and destruction.  Bring on the fucking suicide.

(Don't get upset with her.  She used to be in a band called Suicide City. I'm sure she doesn't mean that literally.)

Jenn is making a batch of small cookies (?) with dough that Joe had waiting in the fridge.   Maybe that is what Joe was mixing up earlier. Shane and Danielle are really cutting up while they play Baggo.  They are jeering at each other and Danielle is losing badly.  Shane announces this could be the "first cornhole shut out of the season".  Danielle finally lands one and is happy for that point.

14.  Ian comes in to fill his water bottle and Jenn tells him she's "working on a slop cake" and she has "her tater tots in the oven".  (Slop Tots?)  Ian fills his water and goes back outside.  The cameras show long shots with both the bear and Ian in the frame and he doesn't look up and see the bear at all. 

Oh, now Ian sees it somehow and he blames Danielle.  Dan is in the DR and so he is not getting blamed for it.

Ian:  Where would you even get rope like that? 

Ian goes upstairs to pull the bear up and laughs, saying "poor thing" about the bear.  He thinks Danielle did it "when she went up to get snacks".  He put the bear back on his bed and went back outside.  Shane and Danielle are playing pool.  Shane tells Ian that it was all Danielle's idea and she says "stop it that is not true!".

Ian also wrote the word "penis" somehow on a pool ball, maybe scratching it on there, with an accompanying picture. Fran saw it and was like, "what the hell?"  As the show ends Dan is still in the DR and Danielle is swearing to Ian that she had nothing to do with hanging his bear.

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