Saturday, August 25, 2012

Dick at Nite - Feat. Janelle and Porsche - 8-21-12 #BB14

This episode taped last Tuesday, the 21st.  Dicks guests are Janelle Pierzina, live from Minnesota and her friend from BB13 Porsche Briggs, live from a coffee shop in Los Angeles.  When she unmutes her sound we can hear music blaring and people talking.

Dick kind of scumbags Janelle by saying "Janelle wants to plug her website before and after..." so she tells all of us to come to her website to talk about the Mary Kay Products she uses, she will chat with us about it.  (I only say scumbag because he could have been more gracious about it, he kind of made her sound crass.)  Porsche wants to tweet out the link, too. 

Whenever Porsche unmutes her laptop the sound is horrible and Janelle laughs.   The three of them are appearing in Winnepeg together on September 8th and the promoter is giving out free tickets.  (!)  Dick mentions that "big fat lady that just walked behind Porsche into the coffee shop".  Porsche tells Dick it is actually an ice cream shop and they all laugh.

This is Janelle "raising the roof" about how fun the trip to Winnipeg will be.



OK.

1.  Janelle is ecstatic about what is going to happen to Mike Boogie this week.   Dick starts talking about Jenn bitching about being  on her period, while she was "standing right there in the pool".  They all laugh.

Janelle starts ripping on Jenn, that she doesn't do anything or try to play the game.  Dick called her a "big piece of lesbian wallpaper".  Dick really wanted to like her, with her tattoos and her music with Kittie---he had high expectations and has been very disappointed.

Porsche wanted to say something but changed her mind.  We all know this because we heard the background noises.

2.  Dick points out that Jenn doesn't even know what a pawn is, and that she is one.  He thinks Mike should be taking advantage of that, because she is losing her shit after being nominated.  Janelle repeats what she said to Julie Chen about Mike being a loser and a douchebag.

Porsche tries to tell Janelle that Wil apologized to her.  Janelle keeps saying, "Wil who?" and then finally "When?".  Porsche says last week but it is very loud on her end.  Janelle says she read Wil's interviews where he talked about how everyone in the house hated her and how mean Janelle was".  She says that she never said those things about Danielle, but was only repeating to her what JoJo said.

Dick:  Well, I want to take advantage of this moment right now and say Danielle is fat.  And I hope she watches this and has some major self esteem problems after this..

They all laugh.

Janelle:  Well, I never said she was fat, but she kind of is....but aside from that....whatever.  I don't understand while Wil hates me so much.

Dick:  He's a bitch.

Porsche:  You had a better side braid then him!

Janelle:  Yeah, I have better hair.

Porsche did not know that Wil had extensions.  (What?)


3.  They talk about the "fishbowl" competition they just had where Shane filled it first and won the HOH.  Porsche said she hurt her back on that last year, and that Jeff "just killed it like Shane did".   Porsche's connection fails for a second, and then Janelle hears her baby cry.

She leaves the camera for just a minute to go and get Violet.  When Porsche came back she and Dick sat silently waiting for Janelle to return.  It was kind of odd, actually.


4.  And here is Janelle with Baby Violet!  (so gorgeous) 

Dick shows a close up and then tells Janelle that "half of the audience is staring at her boobs, and the other half is staring at the baby".   There was another uncomfortable moment.


Janelle:  Oh....whatever.

***continue reading after the jump***


5.  Now Dick says that he is concerned that no one in the house wants to make a big move.  Porsche can't say much because of the background noise, and Janelle is trying to listen, but Violet is energetically playing with a strand of big chunky pearls and is really shaking them.  At one point something drops and Janelle looks down and says Oh no. She got her a bottle but Violet still kept shaking a necklace with her left arm.  Violet can multitask, apparently.


Dear god how freaking scary is Evel Dick's left arm?
 

Janelle is super distracted and is barely listening.  She is being a bit snippy with Dick, I think.  For example he asked what she thought of Jeff's interview skills, and she said "with what?  the interview I did with him or the one on the show?.  She's not making it easy for him.

Dick changes the subject to the low ratings and Janelle agrees that the season is bad.  Dick turns the conversation back to himself, and starts talking about all of the times he tried so hard to get on the show, and how they are acting.  His point turned out to be that Britney didn't belong there.

Whenever Porsche speaks we can't hear it.  But one time she did rotate her computer so we can get a sense of where she is.  I don't think she meant to do that--she just shifted the table around.  We can hear the two girls talking at the next table about always being friends.


6.  Dick wants to know if Violet only wears violet?  Janelle says she has a "ton of clothes" buts she dresses her in a lot of purples and pinks.  She says she is sporting a cool pair of jeggings today.

She holds her up so we can see Violet's Juicy top and jeggings.


She tells Violet to wave to "Auntie Porsche".   Violet flapped her arms up and down and the cuteness almost breaks my computer screen.  Then Dick makes a comment about Violet being just like his bratty daughter one day and the laughing stops.  But they all say Happy Birthday to Dani Donato!


7.  James Rhine shows up and they all say hello.  Dick accuses him of working at Boogie's restaurant that was on TV and James says he "worked at Geisha House and Les Deux" instead.   Then they bashed the Famous Food show and the related restaurant Lemon Zest.   Dick corrects James and says it was called Lemon Tree and it replaced Mike's restaurant Ketchup but went out of business before the series finished airing.


James said he doesn't watch any reality TV except Big Brother, so then he has to explain that he was "at the gym" when the Famous Food show came on so that is how he knows it sucks.  He also lets us know that he has to "appear at a charity event in an hour" so he can't stay long. 

James hears Violet cry and jokes that is either Violet or someone tied up on Evel Dick's floor. Violet is really having a big party down on the floor and Janelle has to look down and say, get away from here! softly to her.  James thinks this is hilarious.

Janelle says "Danielle is a crazy bitch" and she can't stand the way she uses that baby voice in the DR.  Dick thinks she is getting a "golden edit" with the show like Britney is.  Janelle mentions Danielle's weird stories about breaking her back, etc. 

Now they joke abut Ashley and how flaky she is.  They laugh about how she got out of the Have Not competition by having a sore back and then they mention when Kalia faked hurting her arm in the competition last year. 

Dick mentioned Kalia being cruel to her dog by throwing it against the wall.  Janelle heard about that, too.  (Did you read about it here, Janelle?)

8.  Dick says that goldfish bowl competition has changed over the years.  For one thing, the bowl is much smaller.  In BB8, it took 5 1/2 hours to fill the bowl, but last night it was only 1 1/2 hours.  (Dick is so funny sometimes.)  They talk about how slippery the floor is and how dangerous it was.

Janelle has to go---her baby is "crawling away and is going to eat the dog food!" 

She logs off in a hurry and James was delighted about all of this.  He is good friends with Janelle and it is kind of crazy to see her run after a baby.  She's usually so chill.

9.  Now they badmouth the casting on the show and James thinks Alison Grodner is realizing that this little series is in it's last days.  Dick loves to bitch about the ratings and then says he got paid $250 for each Housecalls Show, and he was "getting them 2.5 million viewers".


Dick starts talking about HerpeGate but says he wishes Janelle was there.  (Janelle said on a chat that she went in Britney's bag and saw some sort of herpes medication.  I did not hear that with my own ears but I read accounts of that comment, or something like it.)  Britney's family is going to sue CBS and everyone involved if people don't stop talking about this.  They have gone on her Twitter and threatened everyone.

Dick:  Well, I'm talking about it and they can all come and sue me.  I'm just repeating what I heard.

James implies that someone on the show this year said all of the house guests had to sign some sort of "STD and herpes waiver" so they won't sue if they contract it in the house.  He asks Porsche if she had to sign one last year and she says No.

James:  Why would they only have that this season?

Dick accuses him of talking to Kara, but James denies and says he talks to all of the former house guests.  They talk about Ian's comment about being on Evil All Star and Dick laughs about that .  Porsche doesn't think Ian could ever be evil.

(Funny to hear this now, huh?)

10.  Porsche had to leave but Dick and James kept chatting.  Dick thanks James for being such a great supporter over the years.  James has made a lot of appearances and Dick appreciates it.

So now they bash the Big Brother franchise nonstop, and say since Arnold Shapiro left, the show just hasn't been the same.  Dick mentions that Arnold is now working on Scared Straight.  True story.


Evel Dick loves the double eviction shows since there isn't anything Production can do to interfere.  That is why Jeff went home last year.

They talked about how they think Production messes with the game.  James says he thinks they watch the things you are studying in the house, and then make up questions to correspond to it.  For example if they see you counting the fringes on the curtains, they can ask about it.

Dick gave a bombshell by saying that he hosted a Q & A POV and he had a stack of sealed, numbered envelopes.  He heard in his earpiece to pluck out, for example "envelope 11, but act like it is envelope 5".

James has never heard that before. He doesn't like it, to say the least.

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