Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dick at Nite - Dick Goes Solo - 7-30-12


I could watch the opening of the show over and over.  I love the Evel Dick song and the show highlights.  How can you get tired of Amber telling Dick he is the devil in disguise?  Or Evel Dick and Jameka clapping at each other?  I'm shaking my ass every time I hear the song.

OK.

1.  Dick is going to go it alone tonight.  He has a lot of complaining to do and knows that other former house guests are nervous about being negative about Production.  They don't want to hurt their chances at coming back for All Stars or other appearances.  Once again, he is doing the show live from Orlando, in his friend's Kiss shrine.  Seriously every square inch is covered with Kiss memorobilia.  That's why Gene Simmons is rich, I guess.

(I hope Dick's friend is employed.  If he is on unemployment and buying all that crap, as an American I take issue with that.)

2.  Dick comments that Ashley thought she could just blow a few guys in the house and avoid being nominated.  He also mocks Danielle's fear of lesbians and says the show tried to put a positive spin on it.

3.  He also farts on camera, and describes his day at Disney World and how he wiped a big booger on his friend's sons back.  He repeats this several times and is very proud.  (***gross***)

4.  He mocks Mike Boogie now, saying that he brought in a lot of hats and other hair accessories to cover his balding head.  Shane is still the HOH at this point and he says Britney had HOH-itis as well.

5.  Dick says this season sucks Dick so far.  He bitches about Joe, too.  He's sick of Joe and his facial hair.

6. Dick scratches a pen or pencil periodically on paper.  It is loud.  I guess he has notes to use as a guide?  He is obviously bored and miserable tonight.

7.  He brings up the Coach's Comp.  You know, the porno one with the thrusting and tonguing.  Dick is nearly speechless and I don't blame him.  He wants to know who approved it, who thought of it, etc.  He says it was terrible.  (I probably would have refused to do it.  I can't believe Britney went through with it.  It was vulgar.)


8.  He laughs about Ian asking for slop again.  They are just taking advantage of Ian, he says.  (I think that is Ian's point.)

9.  Now Dick gets serious and says this twist is the most unfair thing he's ever seen.  Half of the season is over, five people have been evicted, and they are basically starting over.  He thinks the Coaches will stomp all over everyone and it is unfair.  He also thinks that America's Vote was a big waste of time, that it didn't matter what we voted.  The Coaches were going in either way.



10.  Check out Dick's hand.  Does that look weird to you?  Is his thumb as long as his other fingers?  It looks like that to me.  That is seriously freaking me out.   And now he points at us.


11.  None of the bitching and moaning that Evel Dick is doing now is as interesting as how he looks doing it.  He is very expressive tonight and is pretending he is a stupid follower on Twitter defending Production's decision to bring the Coaches back in the game.  Kind of like this:

12. He says this season should be titled "Expect a Load of Bullshit" instead of Expect the Unexpected.  He isn't going to watch after this year, and it couldn't be any more unfair to the newbies.  (Would he feel differently if he had been chosen as a Coach?)  He will continue this season because he has so many subscribers to Dick at Nite.  (Thanks Dick.)

13.  He says his own popularity score was "off the charts" during BB8 so Production knew that the fans would vote in favor of him.  (i.e. America's Vote).  He says the same thing about Jeff, who had a sky high popularity rating that led to his Coup d'Etat.  He also calls out Matt Hoffman, who got a Diamond POV because he was HOH.   He also calls out Sharon from BB9 (who?).  I don't care what he said about her.  I don't care about BB9 anymore.

14.  Look at Dick's new orange bracelet.

15.  He admits this isn't a good Dick at Nite show.  He knows.  He's sorry.

16.  At Disneyworld he met Sarge and Twila from Survivor.  He also met Leif the little person who was just on Survivor.  Dick said he was very disappointed in Leif on the show and Leif bitched about his "edit".  (ha ha)  He met Troyzan, whom he said was "cool as shit".  He also met Tarzan and asked him about putting his underwear in the rice pot.  Dick also saw Eric Stein from BB8 and had fun with him--he hadn't seen him in many years and hasn't spoken with him until now.  He also saw Colton and Alicia from the last season of Survivor, but says they were just as annoying in person as they were on Survivor.

17.  This was a short episode. Thank god.  I'm depressed just watching it.

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