Monday, August 6, 2012

Dick at Nite - 7-26-12 - Dick and Jun Bash the Twist


I'm a little behind on watching Dick at Nite, but I assumed that he would slow down a little since he's been on vacation.  He went to DisneyWorld for some sort of reality event, then I think he went to South Florida to see some family.

This episode includes only Dick and Jun Song (BB4 winner).  You can see that there were some technical difficulties with Jun's camera shot.  Dick is at his buddie's house in Orlando, and he moves around so we can see that the room is an entire shrine to the band Kiss.  There are guitars, pinball and slot machines, gold records...it is unbelievable.  Every square inch is covered with Kiss stuff.

Now, I think we need to hear about his friend, don't you?  Who does this?  Dick mentions that his friend has already arranged to be buried in a Kiss coffin.  Now that would be a show.

OK.

1.  Dick is annoyed about the Coaches entering the game, and thinks it is total bullshit that they got a free pass for 4 weeks.   Except Dick says there are "three coaches and Britney".  Jun doesn't like it either.  She has heard people say that the game is rigged by Production and always defends the show, but this ploy for ratings is sad to her.

2. Dick speaks clearly, and has thought about this a lot, to his credit.  He says that the newbies who are part of an alliance with the Coaches will be the low men on the totem pole, because the coaches will only be loyal to each other.

3.  Jun says that in BB13 everything was geared towards the veterans, so this is much the same.

4.  Did Dick forget he was part of the BB13 cast?  I remember his diary room session where he pretended to use a rifle and shoot all of the newbies down.

5.  Dick says he will likely not watch another BB season after this one.  He apologizes to Alison and Rich, but says they have lost him on this one.  (Some might say this is Dick's way out, since they did not offer a Coaching position to him.)  After the BB13 Evel Dick fiasco (and it was a fiasco for Production) I'm not sure they will try that again.  But then again, look at the Hantz family CBS takeover.... Jun said if she didn't need the money from blogging about this season, she probably wouldn't watch anymore.

6.  Dick brings up Wil Heuser's outfit--I guess Wil wore velvet shorts.  (The show seems like a long time ago so I don't remember the show.)  I think they filmed this show just after the live show where Julie described the twist.  Dick attacks Wil's hair extensions and his appearance, saying that he's not really "down with him".


7.  Now they discuss Janelle, specifically her nose.  Dick says he read on the internet that she had a really bad nose job.  Jun piles on and mentions Janelle's fake hair, lips, tits, etc.  Jun has met her and thought she was beautiful in person and doesn't understand why she has to do all of this.

8.  Dick moves on to Mike Boogie, saying he doesn't understand why Mike hasn't done anything to his face.  (Dick is King of Low Blows.)  Jun says that Mike's baby is cute.

9.  OMG Dick says the day after Danielle's 18th birthday, he went and got a vasectomy so he "wouldn't have a one night stand and get some chick knocked up and have another baby".  He mentioned friends of his that did that and their life is never the same.  He brings up Jun's threesomes and says she won't have the time for that anymore.  Jun says they have to preplan those events and they can only happen once a year or so.

10.  Jun says the budding showmance isn't between Shane and anybody, but is between Dan and Danielle.  Dick says Dan's wife is going to be pissed.  Jun tweeted a few things about Dan and the fans struck back and were very defensive about Dan.

11.  Dick talks about Dr. Will's segment.  Evel Dick wants to know how much Will demanded to get paid to appear---he says that he has NEVER appeared on another season except his own, even though they have asked him numerous times.  Dick says the usual $500 wouldn't work, and guesses $10,000 for his appearance.

12.  Now Jeff and Jordan get hit with the schrapnel, when Jun mocks people who do deals with CBS interactive and "aren't even on TV" just to stay relevant.  They mention CBS using their pictures on the website and Dick wants to know how to get CBS to stop that.  He mentions that he "chased Ragan off Twitter" after Ragan appeared on the pre-BB14 CBS poll about house guest popularity.  Ragan claimed he was more popular than Dr. Will and that started the whole thing.  He hopes to chase Ragan out of California next, not just Twitter.

13.  Dick's nutty Kiss friend came in the room and we could hear him, but not see him unfortunately.  Because you know that would be a scene...


14.  They repeat Dr. Will saying that Dan was a cross between Kermit the Frog and someone and laugh.   They both think Dan has been pretty worthless so far on the season, and Danielle doesn't deserve to be there.  (At this point they don't know she won HOH and POV yet.)

15.  Dick says even Britney told JoJo to shut the fuck up.  Jun says Julie Chen was shuffling her cards when JoJo kept talking and talking--she gets flustered when things get off track.  They mention how Joe took forever at the hockey challenge and Julie had to hurry him along.  Dick thinks Joe is drunk all of the time and that might explain it.

16.  Dick hates Britney and brings up the Brigade telling her that she was going home and how long it took her to grasp the information.  He posts a picture that I guess proves his wonkey eye theory about Britney.


17.  Personally, I think constantly making fun of the way they all look is very weak.  Evel Dick is the king of low blows but I guess that is no surprise.

18.  Dick took a poll on his Twitter about the Chilltown 2.0 DR session.  He says that many people responded (about 700 - 1000 responses) and 92% of people hated the DR sessions.  Seven percent of people liked it because it reminded them of Dr. Will and Boogie, and the remaining 1% were wondering if Dan had any other clothes to wear.  He cautions us that Ernst & Young were not involved in tabulating these results.

19.  Now Evel Dick talks about Survivor Shannon, saying that he called Dick 40 times in one day and Dick had to contact the "police in his area" to get him to stop.  He was talking about Evel Dick through Willie's twitter and Dick says he lost it on him.  It doesn't sound like Willie will be appearing on Dick at Nite anymore (as originally promised) but Dick spins it that we all know Willie's point of view by now, anyway.

20.  Dick says the house guests were talking about Willie's alcohol problems and Production told them to stop talking about it.  Then Dick mentions Willie's arrest for DUI and Jun corrects him and says it was OWI and they chat about that.  Dick says the yellow Camaro is Russell's car, because Dick remember him saying he had to hide it somewhere so some chick wouldn't mess it up.  Or something like that.

21.  Now they trash Joe and how he wears his blue chef coats on the live show every week.  They don't like Joe, either.  They mock the way he speaks in the DR.  Dick thinks something is seriously wrong with him---maybe he is "concussed" from Willie or maybe he is just retarded.  Dick calls him "Joe the Retarded Chef".  Jun thinks he is trying to play a character and everything comes off as insincere.

22.  They discuss Julie's comment about being Frank's "home skillet".  Neither of them understand that.  Dick thought maybe it was an Asian thing, but Jun says Asians have too much trouble saying the word "skillet".  Jun doesn't think Julie even knows what a skillet is, since she and Les Moonves probably have a chef at home.

23.  They poke fun at Joe spending 5 minutes lining up his hockey stroke like he was Tiger Woods.  Dick says they are one of the most "uncoordinated group of mother fuckers he has ever seen".  He says they should just hit it down the middle and go with that.  He said Dan was probably happy that Danielle wouldn't even have to try to throw it.  Jun says Ian was in the lead until Shane took his turn.

24.  They now turn to Ian.  Dr. Will picked Ian to win, but Evel Dick thinks that Ian doesn't have the will to win.  Dick thinks Ian just wants to make Jury.  He can't see Ian hanging on during a hard endurance contest (last Thursday didn't happen yet at this time).  Jun thinks he can win if he "falls into the top three like Jordan did".  Dick thinks now that the Coaches have come into the game, Ian won't have a shot at it.

25.  Dick is ready to call the whole season right now--he thinks it will come down to Mike, Janelle and Dan.  Jun thinks anyone who would have had the guts to evict Janelle is gone from the game already.  She thinks Mike will screw her over again and Jun can't wait to see that happen.  Dick thinks Janelle is not as strong as she once was, and that Dan is still not playing because he is throwing competitions.  He thinks Dan and Boogie will work together to remove Janelle, but Mike will beat Dan in the end.

26.  And does Frank have a chance?  They both say no.  And neither does Shane with the coaches in the game.  Jun thinks they will focus on evicting the stronger players and Ian will slip through the cracks.  Dick says the only way to save the season will be if the Newbies  band together to evict all of the Coaches  but is doubtful that will ever happen.

27.  Jun thinks the season is going to be very predictable week to week. 

28.  We go to Video Mailbag.  I don't like Ragan Fox, but I think this guy is scary.  Downright scary.  I am posting a picture in case Ragan needs to furnish it to the authorities.  I am a Big Brother Super Fan, but we don't need to make personal threats or scare people. This guy actually asks a decent question about Dan and Danielle, but  I can't focus on it.  I am always surprised to see what other Super Fans look like.
29.  Jun only talks to Jack from her season.  Evel Dick says he talks to Nick from BB8, who will be appearing soon on Dick at Nite, and he "speaks with Jameka from time to time".  (Whaaaat?)  He also talks to Carol and mentions that she has been a professional cheerleader.  I think she said she just got hired by the Knicks (!) and is moving to New York for that.

30.  Dick says the last time he spoke with his daughter Danielle was when he interviewed her in the BB backyard after BB13.  (You can see that here.)  He thinks the next time he sees her will be his mother's funeral.  It is hard for Jun to top that, so they move on.

31.  Dick is disappointed in the Producers, the Twist, everything.  He thinks it was a good show but they don't need all of these special powers that favor certain people to push the show along.  He mentions America's Player that slanted things in his favor.  He thinks both himself and Jeff were "off the scales" on the popularity charts, so Production knew they would win a fan poll for prizes.

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