Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Danielle Talks. And Talks. And Talks. 8-7-12 #BB14


This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Monday night, and in the wee hours of Tuesday where I live.

The POV ceremony took place today, and no one was more surprised than Janelle to find that Wil was taken off the block and replaced with Janelle, herself.

In fact, no one else was surprised.  They all knew.

A sad day for many Big Brother Super Fans.  Hopefully we will see Janelle try to fight.

OK.

1.  The show opens with Danielle and Janelle talking in the HOH bathroom.  I know many people have expressed horror at the sight of Danielle without make up.  I have decided I like her better without it.  It is way too heavy and cake-like, and using eyeliner under her eyes doesn't do her any favors.  I think she looks a little like Ashley Judd without it.  But I digress...she is wearing full make up tonight during this conversation with Janelle.

Janelle is talking about BB7, and trying to make the point that a girl shouldn't go to the end with big, strong men.  She correctly points out that the men will win the final competitions because they are often physical.  (I hope she points out what Dan and Memphis did to Old Jerry, too, at the end of BB10.)

Danielle asks questions, but the blank look on her face doesn't reveal her true thoughts.  She did ask Janelle a question about "Scrubika".  Since Danielle has never seen BB4 or BB7, I don't think she should call Erika that name.  Respect your elders Danielle.

They discussed Botox and fillers. Janelle considered fillers but has never had either. Danielle says that she can tell because Janelle's forehead moves, and then implies that some other people'e foreheads don't.  Janelle calls out Mike Boogie for having a lot of Botox.  Danielle asked her if she's had her lips done and she denies it--she has always had huge lips, she says.

2.  The cameras change to the backyard,where Ashley is describing a workout class she takes at Crunch Fitness in LA where you use rubber drumsticks to pretend you are drumming.  She says the class is awesome and it is called Get Pounded.  She tells all of us to go Get Pounded and everyone laughs.  She also describes going to Kundalini Yoga and Dan asks some questions about that.  She discovered yoga because she had to take an elective course at Penn State and she took yoga.  There were only two people in the class and she loved it.

Jenn gave a little class on how the streets go in New York --numbering and lettering and such.

Frank did a few cheers inside, and called Janelle Sweet Cheeks again.  (Janelle HATES that.)  He dated a cheerleader or two, and could hear the cheers from playing football, so he knew how they went.  He grabbed Britney and told her that he had something to tell her and they went back to the bathroom.  Ashley interrupted them and they talked about how full they were from dinner.  Joe made scalloped potatoes and they weren't what Britney expected.  She liked the carrots.  Ashley liked the carrots and the potatoes.  Frank had two helpings of potatoes and his Spiritard is so tight now.

Janelle comes in now and says the pom poms are "ghetto esque" and "no one uses stuff like that anymore".  She is pretty sure that BB wanted a girl to win this prize and Frank agrees.  He just took it halfway off to put on more deodorant.  They try zipping it up halfway and the sound of the zipper always scares Frank.

Frank:  It sounds like I'm about to get got!

(Shout out to The Wire.)

Janelle says the costume is embarrassing.

Now we see Wil playing with his hair and talking to Ashley about the votes this week.  He tells her that "they" are going after Joe next because they don't want him on the Jury.  Ashley thinks that is smart.  Wil says they only need six people in their alliance for the votes.  They are in the storage room and there is are huge bowls of candy on the counter.

They complain that Joe used all of the chicken to cook dinner.  Ashley doesn't want to tell Britney much anymore about their plans and Wil approves.  Wil doesn't know if he can trust the Coaches.

Now back in the bathroom Frank whispers to Britney that Wil approached him for a deal, saying that he could deliver the votes this week for Frank to stay.  Frank asked him if he is working with Joe and he told Wil that Joe was at risk next week.  Wil told Frank he wouldn't nominate Mike and Frank next week, and that he doesn't trust Joe very much.

Ugh...Frank just had a conversation with Ashley about his regularity and bowel habits.  As soon as Frank started talking about his "heme..." the cameras changed.  Not a moment too soon.

3.  Now we see Janelle playing badminton in the backyard with Shane.  Shane talks while he plays, commenting on the cameras that are in their way and the shots. Mike and Dan are outside exercising.

Inside Wil, Ashely and Frank are upset with Joe and Wil wants his cooking habits to stop now.  Frank says he used all of the turkey for the burgers, but he could have made them much smaller and made the meat go further.  They know they will run out of food soon and it will be Joe's fault.

Ashley: I thought when I was on the block with Joe that I would go home because of his cooking.

Frank:  No...no.don't think like that...

Now Mike comes in and they tattle to Mike about not having any more chicken.  Mike wants to take action on that right away.  He would rather not eat all the meat fried, and because they run out of meat they have no choice but to eat those fatty fried meals.  Frank is also upset that Joe used all of the avocados.

Mike found Ted face down in the corner of the dining room and picked him up.  Mike wonders if Ted drank all of the beers.

They give a shout out to JoJo who is home watching on Showtime, they say.  Wil is preparing a piece of ahi tuna he found in the storage room.  They all bitch about not having whole wheat pita bread or buns.  Mike is telling BB to just substitute some healthy products for what they are getting now and keeps saying "Waste Not Want Not".  Wil would even like to have frozen veggies--he would cook with those.

Britney:  I would be willing to give up 20 cents from my stipend if they could just get Kraft mac and cheese instead of Ralph's mac and cheese!

(I worked in the consumer products industry, and I hate to tell Britney, but the same companies often make both.)

Now they complain about the mess that Joe made the night he made quesadillas.  They hate that if they aren't there right away when the food is cooked, they dont' get any.

Ashley:  I kind of like that we all sit down like a family, together.

Frank:  Fuck that!

They all laugh.  They had more food last week because Joe was on slop and they had so much salmon to eat.  Now Frank and Shane say they saw him come out of the bathroom without washing his hands.  Wil demonstrates how Joe touches everything when he cooks and they are all skeeved out.

(Where is Joe?  They aren't even trying to whisper!)

Mike bitches that usually the food is alright, but tonight the dinner was "no bueno".  Mike says that if he starts using their muscle milk to cook with, that will be the last straw

***continue reading after the jump***

4.  Frank looks at Mike's picture on the memory wall and says his hair looks orange.  Mike says it was because "that foreign woman had just come to the convention" and then he backtracks and says some foreign women do a nice job with hair.

Now Danielle is outside playing badminton with Shane.  And there is Joe, outside pacing in the backyard.

Inside they talk about Jodi again.  Jenn would have loved to see her with Willie.  Wil laughs they got so much from Jodi in only 6 hours.  (Honestly they make fun of her all the time.)

Wil would like a website called TheJodiEffect.com.  They all shout out to Matt Hofman to make the website and "go find Jodi".  Wil wants him to make a T-shirt that says "I've got news for you!".

Ashley won't eat ice cream because Janelle told her that she gained 15 pounds from eating it in her season and someone says "50 pounds"?  (Probably Mike.)

Ashley:  I'm embarrassed to fix myself a bowl of ice cream, after all of the closet sugar eating I did after dinner in the storage room.

They all laugh and Mike wants to know what she ate.  She starts listing all of the candy she just shoved down in there and they all laugh.  Mike thinks they are "cutting a segment" about her closet eating now.  They are all laughing and it feels really genuine. Even Mike and Jenn are cracking up.  Nice to see.

Wil describes the problems he had with the chip and dip challenge.  He was almost finished with only one left and it took the rest of the time to finish it.  Now they laugh about the Coach's Challenge they saw footage from (the porno challenge) and how Janelle was shown in slow motion.

5.  Outside Janelle tells Britney that Danielle told her that Shane wants Frank out and that people were in and out of her HOH room until 3:30 in the morning.  Janelle knows Wil is one of them.  Danielle told her that she is staying, but needs to make some deals with people.  Janelle told her that her targets are not the women this year.

Danielle told Janelle that if she wanted Janelle to leave, she would have taken Frank off the block.  Britney is going to listen to Danielle's country CD.  (Jason Aldean?)    Now Danielle goes up there to and is repeating what she and Janelle talked about.

Danielle is breathing hard from badminton and is telling Britney that Janelle said Mike Boogie was the one who wanted to work with her, not the other way around.  She says they "got into it" and Janelle was furious. (??? Not when I was watching.)

Wow Danielle is going Full Villain, huh?

Britney is stunned, and says Janelle told her that the conversation went well.  She said that Janelle told her that Danielle was going to get Shane to vote for her.  Danielle denies this.  Danielle says that she has "never told a lie, never".  Britney doesn't know who to believe, and that Janelle is always asking her for information.

(I can't stand the way Danielle always says "Boogie". )

***I didn't see the entire Janelle-Danielle conversation, so I don't know who to believe either.  But I definitely lean towards Janelle.  I'm biased.***

Now Britney has something to tell Danielle, and it is something she wanted to talk about later.  She doesn't want Dani to feel uncomfortable, but tells her that if there is a guy in the final two, he will win the game.

Britney:  I know you are close with Dan, and Shane, but in 13 seasons a girl has never beat a guy in the final two.

Dani:  But we're close too.  Shane is like my boyfriend, Dan is like my father, and you're my best friend.

Britney:  It would never be to my advantage to put you out of this game.  Never.  If I went to the end with Dan or Shane, I'd be toast!  Toast!  It would not be the smart move for me.  Or for you either.

Danielle knows that if she went to the end with Dan, everyone would say she is there because of him.  She feels they are working with five strong guys right now and that is an advantage.

Danielle:  Dan and I are going to be friends, but I'm not going to visit him!  He's married!  Me and you will be friends---I want you in my wedding!

and

Danielle:  Janelle's got to get the hell out of here!

Now she is pissed because when she walked outside Janelle was playing badminton with Shane and said, "Oh here comes Danielle!"  For some reason Danielle is furious about this.

Danielle:  She was up here saying how could you do this to me?  We did make up together, we worked out, and now you have been plotting against me all week? She was following me around!  I couldn't get rid of her!  I had to tell her I had to poop so she would go!

Britney predicts Janelle will be nice until Wednesday, and then get mad.

Danielle:  She kept saying Boogie wants to make a deal with me!  And she keeps trying to get me to admit I have a showmance with Shane!  She said she'd never tell anybody, and that the viewers are calling me Shanelle!  (ha ha ha)

Britney:  Like she knows what the viewers are saying.  She's even being nice to Frank now.  She makes me feel like crap now.  I prefer not to be around her!

Now Dan is in the room, eating a Twizzler and listening.  (Poor Dan.)

Danielle is talking a blue streak.  Boogie this, Boogie that.    Janelle told her that Boogie hates her and was bitching big time when she won HOH. (true) She also said that if Danielle keeps making big moves, she is going to have a huge target on her back.

Dan: Ian says he is going to tell us a whopper when he comes up here to take a bath.

(WTF with all of Ian's baths?  He needs to come up with a better cover story.)

Britney says that Janelle was always her favorite BB player, and that she is shocked at how things have turned out  Dan says that a big factor in the game is the way you treat people.  If Janelle had treated Ashley with any sort of respect, Ashley would never vote for her to leave.

Danielle thinks Boogie will put up Shane next week, but probably with Shane.  That way they would have the votes to keep Shane.  Dan is hoping that "they" make that move so they can get rid of them and not keep the deal.  Everyone is constantly worried about the Fast Forwards and they know it is coming.  They are thinking of ways to have non verbal signals and plans for how to handle it.

Danielle would like to get rid of Mike and Frank in a Fast Forward, so they wouldn't be hanging around all pissed off.

6. Britney is going to tell Janelle on Thursday that she doesn't have any votes to stay, including Wil and Ashley.

Dan:  Outside of this game, she's fine.  She can go home to her husband and baby, and they're not struggling or anything.  Not that that's a reason why she should go, but you don't need to feel guilty about that.

Danielle is very angry and is going through the whole scenario again--why would she want to keep Janelle if she is backdooring her? She says that Janelle tries to hurt her feelings by saying she is close with Dan and Dan wants to save her.

Dan is trying to be logical and points out that there are so many other ways to play this game in a better manner than this.  He thinks Janelle's game is all wrong.

Now Ian comes rushing in and Britney wants to hear the "doozy" story.  It involves Joe and Britney is excited.

Ian:  We were in the storage room and he said, you know what I told you about yesterday.  I said, what about the halfway party?  And he said no, I was kind of hinting at an alliance.  (they all start laughing)  He goes you, me, Ashley and Jenn...I think he may have included Wil but I don't know.  He said, nobody would expect it!  We're the outsiders!  We never hang out and nobody would suspect us!

Ian asked to think about it a while.  They all laugh and mock Joe.  Now Ian describes his conversation with Janelle about women being voted off.  Janelle said she hates seasons where the girls are picked off first.

Ian:  I told her it's a complete coincidence, because Jodi had to go and team had a team of all girls...

He went through each eviction and gave the reason why a woman wasn't the initial target of the eviction.  Now Danielle goes through her Janelle story AGAIN and it includes plenty of mentions of "Boogie" over and over as well.

7.  Ian also describes a conversation with Mike about how Mike asked Ian if he couldn't have held on for another hour on the Pirate Ship in order to win.  Ian told him no, that he was having muscle convulsions and needed to cut his losses.  Britney thinks this was the funniest thing ever and says she loves Ian.  Britney thinks Mike is so mean to Ian.

Ian is disgusted with Joe's tall tales, and also the way he uses all of the meat when he cooks.

Britney:  Joe is going to be the guy no one talks to.

Ian:  Yeah.  Like Andrew.

Britney:  Uh huh.  Andrew who is a podiatrist, but whose Twitter name is Captain Kosher and his picture is in a hot dog suit.  You would think that the guy has better things in life then the nickname given to him during three weeks of Big Brother.

(Damn, she's harsh.  And Janelle is the mean one?)

(Also, Brendon is good friends with Andrew.  He and Rachel visited him recently in Miami.)

Ian:  You could argue that I'm sort of this season's Andrew.

Danielle:  No!  You are likable!

Ian:  I thought Andrew was likable.

Britney:  I liked him a lot better towards the end.  I actually felt really bad because we really didn't mix well.  He got off on the wrong foot with the Saboteur twist.  Everyone thought he was the Saboteur.  I harbor no ill will towards him.

(Too late to back track now, Britney.)

Now she admits that Brendon talks to Andrew.  Danielle brings the conversation back to BB14 and says that Janelle is "walking around telling everyone that they better vote for her or else".

Britney interrupts to say hello to Andrew and says she hopes he's not mad at her for making fun of his profile picture. (She made fun of his whole life, not just the picture.)   Ian says he was a pretty funny guy but he does like Matt much better.

Dan is in the shower and has Ian throw some shower gel over the wall for him.

8.  In the backyard they discuss the BB7 "jack shack".  Janelle wishes they still had it so the guys could use it.  Mike admits he went in there a few times.  He says the Dog House would have been ideal but it's gone.  They joke that Ian jerked of in there but decide he would have never taken off the dog costume--that would have broken the rules.

Ashley:  He got mad if I dropped his leash!

Frank thinks they could drape a towel over the pool table.  Wil says it is healthy and men need to release.   Now Frank says he has abstained since the beginning of sequester.  He thought there would be a hard physical competition to save himself for.  He has been having dreams lately and thinking about it.

Frank says the house is not conducive to sexual thoughts and Shane agrees. Frank says he starts to think about sex and has to change his thoughts quickly since "there is no point".  Now they discuss Lane in the shower using one hand and playing with his ear with the other.

Shane says that is kind of gross doing that in a public shower.

Frank:  Yeah!  Blowing loads in the shower!

Everyone laughs.  They all want to use the HOH shower since that camera "isn't activated".

Frank:  I think I'd rather get down then get caught rubbing one out!

Shane:  Duh.  Captain Obvious over here.

Frank:  That's because guys would, but girls wouldn't!

He jokes that Ashley is "thinkin' about it".

9.  Upstairs Danielle is still harping about Janelle and what she said to Danielle.  I really don't want to have to go over it again, but trust that she is going on an on about it.

Dan tells Mike about the Janelle-Danielle conversation, but in summary.  Mike and Dan talk about DR sessions.  Dan hasn't "been asked about anything yet" and Mike thinks "they need to do pickups".

Janelle went upstairs to look for Britney and ends up eating stuff from Dani's HOH fridge with the two girls.  They have strawberries that need to defrost and chocolate dip and Nutella to dip them in.  Like a miracle, Janelle fits right in and there appears to be no ill will.

Janelle says that the manual says every product in the BB house is "green and biodegradable".  They start ripping on the deodorant and the terrible-smelling lotion.  Britney says at least they don't have Tom's of Maine products.  Janelle has never heard of it, but the cameras change while Britney starts ripping on their products.

(Ragan hated the BB12 toothpaste from Tom's of Maine, too.  You can read about that here.)

Janelle and Britney brought all sorts of nail polish with them, but it was taken away before entering the house. Danielle says that wasn't on "the not list" so she doesn't understand. Janelle would have taken the labels off if they wanted her too.

They are glad that BB lets them bring their makeup in---there would be a riot if they couldn't use their makeup.  Janelle said she could bring in Juicy Couture pants in during BB6 with the label on them and everything and they didn't care.

After Janelle left Danielle went on an on about how much she hates her and next time she is locking the door.

10.  Mike had to go in the DR again and was pissed.  Dan told him it "wasn't urgent, but would be humorous".

He and Dan marvel over how Janelle's game has deteriorated.  They don't understand how this happened.  


***NOTE***

I recently watched the first CBS episode again and recommend doing that to any of the readers who have about 45 minutes to spare.  It is so strange to go back and see the beginnings of this, particularly after how things have turned out.  Jenn is actually the one who gave the first toast in the house---I would never guess that now.  And I feel like I've heard so much about Jodi, it was funny to see her again and imagine her saying "I've got news for you!" to everyone.  Also I've heard Wil and Joe talk about receiving their invitations so I see those scenes differently now.  And now I know that Wil was filmed on the roof of his parents' multi-million dollar loft.

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