Sunday, August 19, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Froogie Under Fire 8-19-12 #BB14

This episode aired at 9:00 pm BBT on Saturday night, and early Sunday morning where I live.

Shane is the HOH, and blindsided Mike and Frank by nominating them on Friday.  Earlier today, Frank won the POV, so now someone else is going on the block on Monday, to replace Frank.

Poor Shane keeps trying to evict Frank, but it's just not working out.

OK.

1.  When the show opens Mike and Frank are working out, hard, at the weight bench outside.  They have been running and doing cardio for awhile now, but were briefly interrupted about a half hour ago with an indoor lockdown.  During the lockdown, BB gave them an outdoor grill.

Joe is cooking chicken at the grill--it's a Weber Genesis and he says it is a pretty good one.

(I have the same exact model in my backyard and can vouch for it.)

Danielle was planning to cook the chicken in the oven, so Joe just put it on the grill instead.  Joe also cooked salmon on the grill and was eating a piece of it in front of the camera outdoors, with his hands and no utensils.

Inside Danielle made Mac and Cheese and they also have leftover mashed potatoes.  Dan loves the mac and cheese.  Britney chews with her mouth full and it is gross.  Now Britney decides to head in a nasty direction at the dinner table, by asking Dan if he thinks his wife enjoys the break from him attacking her every day.  She asks the same question of Joe but he doesn't answer.

Dan says he feels like a thirsty man who never knew how important water was, and he's gone 40 days without it.  Ian says "that's right...last time you didn't know that...".

Danielle said that was personal and Dan said he didn't want to talk about that.  There is a brief moment of tension at the table.  Ian apologizes.  So maybe Dan and his girlfriend during BB10 never had sex.  Who knows.  I certainly don't want to hear about Dan's sex life, or lack of sex life. 

Britney likes to turn the conversation to sexual topics--she likes the attention apparently.

2.  Joe comes in from the grill and Shane asked him to sit down and eat.  Joe said, no, he'll wait until later to eat.  (I guess he's not going to tell them about the salmon he just scarfed down outside.)

Now Britney talks about another one of her favorite topics---her frequent travels and how cultured she is.  She says she visited Picasso's birthplace, but doesn't care for his art.  She crows that she also visited The Prado, which is "a very famous museum in Madrid".  Ian brought over the huge mac and cheese pot and served Britney a spoonful of it at the table.  He loaded up his own plate with four huge spoonfuls of mac and cheese.  No, it's more than four now.  More like seven or eight.  No kidding.

Britney comments that Jenn is a pretty healthy eater.   She tells Jenn about an avocado that she hid in Ian's sock drawer several weeks ago so she could eat it the next day.  (I think she has to hide them from Joe.)  They forgot about it and Ian found it recently and it had fur growing all over it.

They discuss Ian's metabolism and how much he can eat and stay slim.  He is back up to 125 pounds now, after being off the slop diet for a few weeks.  Britney can't finisih her mac and cheese and calls Danielle a bully for hounding her about it.

Ian used to eat competitively, he says, and was in a Twinkie eating contest.

Ian:  On a good day I can eat about 8 of 'em in a minute thirty seconds.

He doesn't wet the Twinkies down, but he has a glass of water to drink while he competes.  He has eaten several boxes of Twinkies at a time before, but that was all of the food they had in the house.  (Obviously during college. I think Mrs. Terry would keep a better pantry than that.)

Jenn has visited the Coney Island hotdog eating contest before.  There used to be a bar called Beer Island right down the street, so she would go there with her friends and get a table and "made a day out of it".  They discuss that radio contest where the lady won a Wii and died because she had to drink so much water.

I have analyzed it, and Britney actually talks while she eats.  I'm hoping she knows better than to show us all what is in her mouth while she is chewing.  Maybe not though.  She also rests her elbow on the table and picks at her scalp, right at the table.

3.  Joe talks about grilling pineapple.  Jenn says that just gave her a "lady boner".  Britney complains about a former boyfriend who grilled pineapple but didn't clean the grill afterwards, so the hamburgers tasted like pineapple.

Jenn eats some salmon that I guess was baked.  She asks Joe if it is "baked at 400 for 10 minutes" and he says yep, that's how you do it.  Mike is eating salmon and a vegetable at the table silently.  No carbs or conversation for Mike right now.

In the backyard Dan and Danielle lay on the chaise.  Ian was out there and Dan asked him, "is it just us out here?".  Ian said yes.

Dan:  Anything new?

Ian:  They seem to think that after today they're both safe.

Dan:  Let 'em think it.

They have a lot of candy from the competition today.  Danielle brought Dan a package of candy and they eat it.  The camera won't let us see what kind, but it was made in Bethleham Pennsylvania.

(I guess if you don't have anything to read for weeks, you start reading all of the food boxes and bags.)

Now Ashley comes out and goes to sit in the hammock with Ian.  She is sitting awfully close to him, and talking about how neither Kara nor Wil campaigned for votes.  I think she is worried about being on the block.

Ashley: I had one lollipop!  I could have won!  I was so close!

(Earlier Ian was very angry about Ashley's performance, saying she deserved to go home just for that.)

***continue reading after the jump***
4.  Now we see Britney and Mike at the dining table, alone and laughing about how the "new kids" will have a rude awakening when they leave the house.

Mike:  You won't have a microphone, no one will wake you up, no one cares, you will not be getting a TV show....

Britney: They will air your show in Brazil and you will not get a residual check!

Mike:  Until the next July, just sign your life away....

Now we're back to the hammock, where Ashley says it is just a game.  They say they are uncomfortable so they change positions, laying head to foot.  She says Britney says they will have a luxury comp tomorrow, but Ian disagrees.  He thinks they "have too many bodies to get rid of in there".

Back inside Mike is joking about the POV, saying that "he snuck right in there at the end and knew exactly how many candy hearts were in there".

(So I guess the POV involved guessing how many of something---probably candy---was in containers.)

Britney comes out to the hammock and plops down, wanting to know the topic of conversation.

Ian:  The candy game today....

Britney:  Oh...

5.  Now in the hammock Britney is discussing Ian and Ashley's relationship.  They also discussed Ian's infatuation with Kristin from BB12 and Ashley says she's "so over her".

Britney wonders if Ian thinks Frank is more Ashley's type.  Ashley says "nope" and the cameras flash to Frank sitting alone at the dining table digging into a plate of salad.

Ashley says she likes Ian best when he is "sweet and innocent and not talking about sex".  Ian doesn't think he does that very much, but hopes the viewers like him too.  He says he took a nap yesterday, and Britney points out that Ian doesn't like to nap during the day because he knows the live feed viewers don't like it.

Britney talks about Teen Mom and the girl who goes to the arcade in Delaware to smoke "weed with her boyfriend Keefa".  Or something like that. Ian asks questions and is surprised they aren't southern rednecks.  Britney says Matt Hoffman watches it and it is his guilty pleasure. Ian still will not watch it, even if Matt likes it.  He doesn't have a television, and neither he nor Ashley have cable.

Britney starts talking about her cable service in New York (Cablevision) and the cameras change to the hot tub, where Shane, Joe and Jenn discuss various light beers.

6.  Now Britney and Ashley are alone in the hammock, and they discuss Danielle.  Britney had to apologize to her for comments she made about the restraining order.

Britney:  I was just talking about what the Zingbot said.

Now they discuss things that JoJo said that were very mean.  They tried to tell Danielle but she didn't believe it.  Something about the "devil's playground".  Britney feels awkward talking to everyone in the house right now, and Ashley understands how she feels. If Britney is seen talking to Dan and Danielle, then people think she is scheming.  She doesn't even want to know who Shane is going to nominate for eviction now---she doesn't want people to think she was behind it.

Joe keeps telling Ashley that he "wants fireworks" and that she will go up as a pawn.  Ashley just wants her name out of it.  Britney says that Froogie thinks its okay if they are a pair, but no one else can operate as a pair.

They don't know if they can trust Jenn.  Ashley thinks that once Boogie is gone that she will switch over and work with them exclusively.  Jenn was close to Wil, and was upset when she heard Mike was considering trading her for Wil when he was a Coach.  They think she is going back and forth now, giving Froogie information.  (not true)

Britney says it seems like Janelle has been gone a long time and Ashley agrees.

Britney:  It's only been a week and a half, but already Janelle seems so last season.

7.  Mike is in the hot tub now, with Shane and chatting about his workout with Frank.  He describes the tricep exercises, and their use of "Joe's band" to work out with.  Shane wants to know if BB cleaned up the glass in the backyard and Ian says yes.  I guess there was some breakage during the POV comp.  Maybe Frank got nutty after his win---he and Mike agreed that if one of them won they would celebrate.

Danielle has the Fresh Prince of Bel Air song in her head.  She loves that show and discusses each character with Mike and Shane.  Mike looks like he is ready to escape from the backyard any way he can.  He is wearing his patchwork cabbie hat. He knows someone who was on the show and says she is in her early 30's now.

Now Frank is there too and Mike describes the "HTA" from previous seasons---the Hot Tub Alliance.  Dan has a lollipop in his mouth and is playing pool with Ian.  He asks Ian about his postings on forums.  Ian doesn't want to earn medals---he likes to post anonymously so he can harrass people and post multiple times in each thread without being discovered.

Ian is "Flipbox" on Survivor Sucks and picked that name randomly.  I think they are discussing Reddit now and Ian describes the various threads and how they get "stickied", and the "Thanks, I will" thread. Dan prods him to disclose one of his best anon posts and he describes a post relating to the power rankings for "taking a shit", or something charming like that.

8.  Mike wasn't in the mood last night to go in the DR and tells them that Mike addressed the camera when they asked him to come in and said "not right now, dog".

Mike:  They know when they shouldn't mess with me..

The hot tub group wants some beer or something to break the boredom.  Danielle would like a deck of real cards to play with.

Ian and Dan are still playing pool.  Ian says that the website is "too full of fanboys, but they do what they do really well, like the updates".  I'm not sure what they are talking about, but it might be Survivor Sucks.  Dan gives a shout out to "Colleen Kelly".  (I think.)

Ian says Frank winning the POV was bittersweet.  He is worried he might be nominated now, so that is the problem.  I think Danielle was POV host today.  Ian liked her costume and she gets to keep it, apparently.

9.  Britney and Ashley are still talking on the hammock.  Britney says the guys are going to start going after each other now, so that is good for them.  She thinks Frank will nominate Dan and Shane next.

(They all seem to just assume that Frank and Shane will win HOH every week.  What a bunch of undermotivated slackers.)

Britney:  The girls have to work together Ashley, if we want to go very far.  We need to let them go after each other.

Shane found booze in the storage room---there are 8 beers and a bottle of wine, so they are discussing who will get what, and who's drinking tonight.  Ashley says that if she ever "makes HOH, she will never nominate a girl, not even as a pawn".

Britney will "hang on until she dies" if there is another endurance comp.  She says for some reason the last HOH comp wasn't hard for her.  She's not sure what skill she possesses, but it was easy for her.  They note that Ian didn't do very well---he isn't very agile.

Ashley remembers what Janelle told her---that too many guys in the end will shut the girls out of the prize.  Britney says that was what happened to Keisha in BB10, and her as well in BB12.

Britney is looking forward to seeing what is going on in her subdivision when she gets home.  There are probably 5 lots being developed, so she might have new neighbors at home.  She has one pregnant friend but isn't sure if she will have delivered before Britney gets home.

10.  At the hot tub Danielle is talking about her kiss with Shane, and Shane jokes that she will move on to Ian next.  Danielle describes how after the Spin the Bottle night Ashley commented with the girls that she wanted to talk to Frank, so they all dragged her into the living room to kiss him.  (You can read about that here.)

Frank:  I kept it classy.

They joke about what happened on Frank's date with Ashley last week and Frank is keeping the details to himself.

Shane:  Everything stays right inside that bedroom....until we get home and see it on You Tube, and put it on blast!

11.  In the bathroom Britney and her new BFF Ashley put on make up and she whispers that Shane was intimidated by Froogie after the nominations so he pinned it on her.

Now we see Frank and Mike talking at the backyard couch.  Mike wants to forego his two beers and drink them another night---four beers is the minimum alcohol he will drink in there.  Frank doesn't like to start drinking after such a hard workout.

He describes his dinner---salmon and raw spinach.  Mike cooked his spinach and can't believe how the quantity cooks down to nothing.  (Frank LOVES to talk about food.)

Mike plans to start "riding Ian like a jockey".  They say that Ian is just having fun and it is all about him all of the time.  Frank says they got fucked this week, and Ian just walks around free.  Mike is getting sick of everybody in there and says that it sucks that he might be outside talking to Julie Chen and those other people will still be in the house.

Britney walks by and Mike mutters to Frank that he wishes he could just go over and backhand the drink right out of her hand.

Mike, muttering:  ...that fucking bitch!

They both laugh.  Frank wishes they "still had motherfuckers like Willie in there".  He wonders who he will "roll with now".  Mike wants to hold interviews to see "which of them will face the wrath of Frank after he is gone".  

Frank "already feels better after eatin' better for two days".  He is cutting out carbs, but had some "good luck oatmeal" this morning.  Mike has been eating cereal as a treat, and Frank says he treats that like a treat at home too.  Mike says that burning all those calories in their workouts---you can only get so many different calories in the house and the food gets repetitive.

Frank had 2 or 3 protein shakes today.  Frank is going to eat a big spoonful of ice cream tomorrow after his workout to satiate his sweet tooth.  Frank says his dad used to eat a half gallon of ice cream every night and would "get on a kick with ice cream".

Frank:  When you're that big, you can eat like that.

Mike asks how big Franks' dad's parents were, and they were both very tall.

Mike:  I don't want to talk like it's going to happen, but if you can get a marker or something...do you know the numbers of your boys Jungle Juice and Zebra Cake?  I'll give 'em a shout out the next day.

Frank:  It's your boy Mike Boogie!.....we just can't let that happen..

Mike: In this position, I'm going to do everything in my power, but I'm going to plan for the worst, too.

After commercial Frank is whispering that "every single one of 'em's game is just weak sauce".  Mike agrees, but says Dan is working hard.

Mike:  They're all so stupid and scared...all of 'em.  A fucking bunch of morons.

Frank:  I'll get 'em out next week...

Mike:  Maybe even this week, on Thursday....

Mike wants to start "working hard tomorrow, and they need to divide".  Frank says when they talk to people together, it can be intimidating.

Frank:  We need to be like the velvet glove....

Mike agrees. He is going to straight up ask Ian what he is going to do.  He says "this kid is pissing him off".

Frank:  He needs to get in the fucking game.

(If they only knew....Ian is scumbagging them big time.)

12.  Mike and Frank go in the Arcade to speak freely. Frank plans to speak with Shane about the week that Janelle went home.  Frank was willing to stay on the block as a sign of good faith, but Dan was in no way willing to do that same.

Mike heard Britney make a crack about Mike going to the country club, so he is going to start talking about how bad his restaurants are doing, and hammer it home that he has the image of being so well off, but that is far from the truth.

(I know Mike has had to close several restaurants, so that might be true. I also heard him tell the others that he lives in LA in a "rented townhouse", but he owns a home in Vegas that his friends rent from him.  Why wouldn't he own property in LA now, with the market down like it is?  He may indeed have a big cash flow problem.  Even without discussing his legal fees and pending issues.)

Mike is also going to play up the baby connection with Britney. He talked to her a little tonight and she said that on Saturday nights, after all of the competitions are over, she starts to get worried about her place in the game.  They want to pounce on that and work on her.

Frank:  Obviously, Britney is a a fucking scumbag to the max, so she's open to the possibility.

He's going to go to Shane and say, the first time you don't win a comp, there is a good chance that he and Mike will be nominated, but if Mike is gone, he and Shane will be nominated.  Mike tells Frank to be sure to act like Britney is "a non-entity" in the game.  Frank whispers that Ashley won 2nd place in the POV for the second time--he wants to remind him of that.  And also of the fact that there will be another endurance competition that isn't suited to either one of them.

Mike:  I'm going to pull on her heartstrings big time tomorrow---someplace quiet and lay it on real thick.

Dan is getting on both of their nerves really bad.

13.  The cameras move to the HOH where Britney and Danielle are wrestling and screaming.  Danielle is holding her upside down and they are both squealing.  I guess the booze is kicking in.  So they decide to feed the fish.

(No wonder the fish keep dying.)

Now we see Mike and Frank in the Arcade again and Frank vows to do everything he can to ensure that a "lyin' motherfucker" like Dan doesn't win this game.

Frank:  We'll be out there by the campfire talkin' and I won't let it happen.

Frank tries to tell Mike a "great line the DR gave him" and of course we don't get to hear it.  Now Mike goes off on Jenn and how he hates her walk.  He gets up and imitates her and Frank is cracking up, saying it was bad before, but he really hates to watch her walk now.  (...that she is injured)

(My dog hates it when these two whisper.)

Now Frank says Joe is a "fuckin' lyin' sack of shit"!  Mike says he will talk about Joe's lies on the live show so his kids will hear.  Mike is going to tell everyone during the commercial break that if the vote is for him, don't get up and walk him to the door.  Instead, he has something to say and they are all going to listen to him.

Frank:  I hate havin' to talk about this...

Mike:  I know, but we have to be prepared.

14.  Up in the HOH Shane and Britney discuss Joe. Shane knows that if Frank wins HOH next (everyone just seems to assume this) that Joe will be right up his ass.  They know that and don't expect any different, but I don't think they will put Joe on the block.  They want to break up Froogie and want Mike to go home.  If they put Joe up, he may go home.

Britney coaches Shane on what to say to Mike and Boogie to explain that he can't nominate Dan.  Britney says that Ashley promised her today to vote however Shane wants her to, since he kept her safe this week. She also said she would not evict a girl, so that is another reason to put Jenn up on the block.

Dan comes up and Shane tells him what he plans to say to Froogie about nominating Dan.  He does not plan to tell them who is nominating.  Britney says he should tell Jenn she is just a pawn but to wait until after the POV meeting.

Britney:  I would appreciate you leaving my name out of it, though.

(ha ha ha)

Shane wants to tell her beforehand, but Britney reminds him that you can't tell people they are going up before it happens.   Dan looks appropriately concerned, but he is generally so expressionless that it is hard to tell.

Danielle gets out of the HOH shower and points out that Ashley doesn't use her Trixie-Pixie voice since Janelle left.  Britney said Ashley hated that routine and would roll her eyes at Britney when Janelle called her that.

Dan says he was ostracized during his season, and during that time he found his core group that he wanted to work with.  He is comparing that time to now, sitting with this group.  Danielle says that she and Shane talked about aligning on Day #2, but didn't finalize it until JoJo left.  Britney's strategy as a Coach was to pick people who were good--the right team.  Then she wouldn't have to do anything at all.  Then she clarifies that she wouldn't have to run around and whisper and scheme.

15.  Outside Ian, Ashley,Jenn and Frank discuss who they think will be nominated on Monday.  Jenn said she won't be surprised if she is, and she will try to handle it gracefully.  Ian keeps saying he thinks it is him, since his key was put in last.

Frank says that doesn't mean anything, and he doesn't think that Shane put that much thought into things.  Jenn feels something brewing in the house, and thinks if people think Dan is a threat, he probably is.  Frank points out that Ashley "came in 2nd for two POVs, while she was hobblin' around", so she is showing up when she needs to.

Jenn wishes she had gone for HOH on Thursday.  When she looked at all of the liquid in her Safety jug, she thinks she would have had a chance to win.  She won't underestimate herself again.

3 comments :

  1. You have no idea how hilarious this is to me. i had one of THOSE weekends and reading this has me crying with laughter. Your shit ROCKS!!!! I know a lot of people do not get the Britney sense of humor but really it's just her. Joe hogging salmon outside and coming in acting like he did not want any dinner cracked me up. You are a really funny and Good writer. I love your stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just finished the entire posting. Excellent. I am in a position that I cannot watch After Dark or even see last night's show. so this was great for me.
    Thanks!
    P.S. give your dog a hug for me. Mike and Franks whispering is difficult for all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Of course you could have won that HOH against Shane, Jenn. I mean, you beat everyone else who went for safety... oh, wait.

    ReplyDelete

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