Monday, July 9, 2012

Newbie Preview - Meet Ashley Iocco, Wanna Be #BB14

 
Meet Ashley Iocco, one of the lucky newbies cast to appear on Big Brother 14.  This is a recap of an interview conducted by SuperPass, and is content exclusive to their website.

1.  Ashley is supposedly 26, and the Powers-that-Be would like us to think that she is from Pittsburgh.  She may have grown up there, but she lives in Los Angeles now and owns a spray tan business called Bronzique.

2.  The voice that Ashley is using is one of those put-on baby doll type voices.  You know, the kind that are designed to sound like a "blonde bombshell".  To make sure we all understand, Ashley says very stupid infantile things, and outlandish statements regarding her time in the Big Brother house.

**I'm not going to lie.  I am very annoyed by the Casting of Ashley.  The fact that she would slip through the Big Brother casting process and take a spot in this summer's game pisses me off.  I don't blame Ashley herself so much--she is probably to be congratulated for finally making it.  Although I fear it will be at our expense.**

**I typically spend a lot of time writing these recaps.  I watch the interviews through the first time and start typing an outline and taking pictures. Then I listen again a few times to flesh out my topics and usually have to rewind the tape a few times to be as accurate as possible.  There used to be a lot of filler in these SuperPass interviews, but now they are cut and spliced so that the entire segment is action-packed.  I listened to Ashley's interview last night.  I really don't want to listen to it again so sorry if this is a half-assed recap of her interview.**

**I'm just going to hit the high points and tell you what I think you need to know about Ashley Iocco.**

3.  Ashley will not be tanning in the Big Brother house.  She was not allowed to bring her spray tanning machine with her.

4.  You've probably heard that her strategy this year is the "Snow White Strategy".  She plans to hypnotize her dwarves with her love and energy so that they will do what she wants them to do.  She will also have a "family alliance" with a mother and father and brothers and sisters.  She will also have a "secret alliance".

5.  She wants to play honestly, but she wants to win so she will eventually have to lie.  She points out that "in Snow White, the dwarves must die!"  Complete with contrived giggles.

6.  She is going to hypnotize people "with her eyeballs".

7.  Ashley says she went to Penn State.  It's kind of hard to get into Penn State, so even if she didn't graduate (and who knows if she did graduate, or what she studied) she has to have something going on upstairs.  You know, in her brain.  I did find the following info about her from a Pennsylvania news website.
8.  Ashley claims she is a Big Brother fan from way back and her family watches too.  I think she is a big liar, because she says that she "begged and begged her mom to get the live feeds from when it first started".  Then she wavers and asks Laremy the interviewer about Showtime.  Turns out she actually watched Showtime, not the live feeds, but that doesn't stop her from going on and on about how she "tapped into the live feeds to find out about the alliances". 

9.  She doesn't like Shelley, but likes Jeff and Jordan.  (Sounds like a "Sequester Fan" for sure.)

10.  She said she had to get out of Pennsylvania so she moved to New York.  Then she moved to West Hollywood about 7 months ago and says her parents are going to follow her out there.

11.  Here is the home page for Ashley's website.

12.  Here is a snippet of customer reviews on her website, which make it apparent that she also had the same business when she lived in New York.

13.  She claims to have been a Big Brother fan since the very beginning, "from when Chicken George ran the house".  She applied to be on the show when she was freshman in college, but she didn't make it.  She didn't mention which season that was.  When she moved to L.A. she was "scouted" for Eva Longoria's new dating show, but she didn't make it.  The casting director asked if she wanted to be on Big Brother, and she said yes.  I can only assume that this casting director is Robin Kass.  I would love to know why she wasn't good enough for Eva Longoria, but is good enough for us.


14.  She loves Channing Tatum and is upset that she won't get to see Magic Mike.  (With any luck, she'll still be able to catch it in the dollar theater in a couple of weeks.)

15.  I'll leave you with this, Ashley's blank IMDB page.

FEEDWATCHER FORECAST:  I hope Ashley surprises me.  Maybe she could turn out to be an incredibly evil bitch, lying and backstabbing at every turn.  Or maybe she will be one of those house guests who goes nuts, throwing furniture around and refusing to go to the Diary Room.  (We haven't had one of those in a few years, so maybe we're due.)

I'll say this:  If she wants to put on a different persona, she should let the fans know about that beforehand, like in the SuperPass interview.  My take on Ashley would be entirely different if  she talked like a brainiac and shared her plan to act like a ditzy slut.

***whatever***

Who Will Be Ashley's Mentor?  Not Dan, unless he loses the draft big time.  At this point, I think Robin Kass is really Ashley's mentor.  No bueno Robin, no bueno.

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