Sunday, July 29, 2012

Big Brother After Dark - Spin the Wine Bottle 7-29-12 #BB14


This episode aired on Showtime at 9:00 pm BBT on Saturday, and in the wee hours of Sunday morning where I live.

The big news from Saturday is that Shane won the POV.  Yes, again.  And even though Janelle's team was talking smack among themselves about winning and celebrating, Wil was the first person to be eliminated from the competition, with Joe "falling" shortly thereafter.  I think Ashley was the first runner up, though, so there's that.

About an hour before this program aired, the house guests were getting spruced up for a Sushi Party in the backyard.  Contrary to what I believed last night, the party did not appear to include everyone.  We will see how the Coach's Competition played out tonight on CBS---the Sushi Party was a prize that apparently only impacted some of the players.

OK.

1.  The show begins in the flickering candlelight of the backyard, where we see Dan wearing a Japanese bandana and asking Mike what type of fish a certain piece of sushi is.  The people sitting at the table are Mike, Dan, Janelle, Britney, Danielle and Shane.  The guys are wearing sportcoats and Shane looks particularly handsome with his button down shirt and jacket, with just a few buttons on his shirt undone.  Unfortunately he has not shaved--not a big fan of the dirty look on him.

2.  There is a bar set up, and bushes have been placed around the table making it into a little room.  They are drinking out of martini glasses and the drinks are various bright colors.  (In my experience, they look like they are made from a mix and are probably VERY sweet.)

3.  Mike won money in the competition ($6,000) as well as participation in the party, and somehow Ian won $3,000 as well.

Mike:  When he started crying, I almost said, can we do this over?

Mike said that Jenn makes a living in NYC, so $3,000 wouldn't be that much for her, but for Ian it will go a long way.  (Ian has said he only has $700 to his name and has a lot of student loans.)  They discuss how Jenn told them she had made a living from music since she was 25, and is 37 now.  They mention her DJ business (Miss Jenn City) and ask Mike how much a club would pay a DJ.  Shane says Jenn told him the nightly pay could range from $300 - $700 and they all chew on that for a minute.

4.  I think Mike was implying he would have given Ian more money, but I'm not sure.  Dan makes a snide comment about Mike Boogie having a heart, and Mike says when they see his DR sessions they may realize how soft he is. Janelle states she is glad that they are the coaches that are with her right now, and everyone stands and toasts.  (Janelle must have a good buzz on, huh?)

5. There is a firey flame in the middle of the table.  Yep, now they are bitching about how sweet the drinks are. Britney is griping that adding water to it helped, and I hear Janelle talking about chugging.  Dan says to hold your nose and drink!  (The drinks look great on camera, but don't look like drinks you would pay, say $12 for at Geisha House.)

6.  Now we cut to the Boom Boom Room where Wil, Jenn, Joe, Ian, Frank and Ashley are hanging out, counting the house guests and the number of weeks left in the game.  Ian thinks the season may  be abbreviated to 72 days. He mentions that they shortened BB10 and BB7 from the 80 day range.  Someone asks if they did that intentionally and Ian says yes.

7. Now we go back to the Sushi Party, where Janelle is at the buffet table loading up her plate again. She uses chop sticks to select her pieces. Mike compliments the setting, saying it is much nicer than he expected.  He gives his thanks to Jeff and says he had a lot to do with the party, then also thanks Sam and Sarah as well.  (All DR people.  I think Jeff is the one that Dani Donato said last year would quit if she were evicted.  She said her "friends" Jeff and Natalie would leave the BB show in protest..)

Mike mentions that they will soon be asking for the "700 beers that production is holding back there".  Janelle asks for a "couple of cases of Woodbridge"--the red not the white and Britney agreed.  Dan has to make it about business, so he asks each one of them who in the game has surprised them the most, and why.  Mike says Wil, because seeing the outfit and the hair he thought he would be more mean and "queeny" but now he thinks he is fun and cool and a great pick for Janelle.

Janelle:  You know I love the gay guys!

Mike says he is a great pick for her and he likes him.  Britney's biggest surprise was Willie---he was her second pick and she felt lucky at the time that he was still available.  She says now she knew he was Russell's brother, but I have heard her say in the past that she didn't know.

Britney:  Then, a few headbutts and a shoulder thrust later....

They all laugh.  I am certain that CBS watered down that incident for the show.  After all, they are still in the Hantz business with Brandon appearing again on a Survivor season, the one after the new one.  Season after next, you could say.

8. Janelle's biggest surprise has been Ian, because he skeeved her out at first with the hiding behind doors and pillows, but after talking to him they connected one-on-one as BB fans.  She concedes he knows more than she does. They all clink their glasses on that.

Janelle:  I actually like the little dude.  He's pretty cool!

9. The camera cuts to Ian sitting in a chair silently.  Now we're back outside and Shane goes to get Danielle a drink.  There are only blue cocktails left--all already poured by BB. Shane is unable to think of anything to say, so they pass to Danielle and she says Jenn has been the biggest surprise for her.  She figured she would butt heads with Jenn and that she would would be mean since she is from NY and looks the way she does, but she is one of the people that Danielle loves the most in the house and feels blessed to have met her.  She also mentioned her own conservative religious background.

Now we pass back to Shane, and he says when he met Joe, he thought he would be a family guy, and a rugged "football dude", but when he made dinner for the first two weeks Shane was very surprised.  Mike jumps in and says Joe was "a bit of an acquired taste", then says he hasn't make one bad meal in there, particularly with his talents for transforming slop.

Dan says has been surprised by many things, and mentions Jodi leaving and his shock at finding out that Kara is not just a Playmate, but a Playmate of the Year.  But then he says he has been most surprised by Danielle, and how she has grown every day smarter and nicer, and he mentions her showmance with Shane.  We see Janelle looking at Britney and laughing during this, and Shane looking down eating sushi.  It seemed a little rehearsed, to say the least.

(If Kara comes back in the game, she's not going to be happy about Dan's blabbing.  And Dan may be the only one at that table, besides Danielle, to think she has a showmance.)

10.  Now Danielle says she thought Ian would be like Ronnie, and be evil and cruel, the villain, but she has had several great heart to heart talks with him.

Mike:  Me, especially as a father now, would be very happy if my son turned out like him.  Maybe not as super nerdy, but he doesn't have a bad bone in his body.  It's not an act. He's like, super happy to be here and that's genuine.

Dani:  He is so positive all of the time.

Dani mentions that Ian came up to her back when Kara was in the house and thanked her for the "pillow talks" and that no one else would talk to him. Her opinion of him changed then.

Then Danielle starts talking about the moment when the Coaches came into the house. She didn't know who Mike was, but the way he threw down his bag and yelled 'Daddy's Home" scared her because it seemed he knew how to play the game.  Mike says that is what he was going for.  Then Dani says he didn't know who Janelle was, but that other people did.  She repeated this a few times, and we see Janelle sip her cocktail silently.  (Me thinks Janelle no likey..)

Danielle says she was very happy to see Britney, and mentions that Jodi "jumped all over her from the first minute".

(I listened to an interview with Jodi after her eviction and she said one of her biggest disappointments from BB is how Britney ignored her, and totally blew her off.  Like she was looking past her to everyone else.  I think Britney lost a fan there.  And here too.  I don't like her anymore.)

11.  They have chic white couches out there at the party.  They all get up to get more sushi.  I see saki bottles on the table, too.  I think Heath Bar Crunch is one of the sponsors.  They discuss how elaborate all of the challenges have been.  (AGP hired a new person to create the games this year.)

12.  Oh snap.  In the house Wil is strutting in a super gay outfit of black panties, boots,  a black military-style jacket and his captain's hat.  He is shirtless with sunglasses and looks great. He is dancing in the kitchen with Ashley, who has on a red ski cap and is dancing in her clown costume from the POV.

Wil, clapping and prancing:  The game just got brought!

Frank and Joe watch and laugh. Jenn has on her Ringmaster costume from the POV too.  The booze has arrived in the house and they are all getting ready to chug.  Frank wants to shotgun some drinks.  Wil is pretending to chug from the unopened wine bottle, then chugs some beer from the can.

Ashley, to Wil:  Happy Fuckin' birthday!

Wil:  Let's all get shitfaced!

(Ha ha ha)

13. Now the group outside is enjoying sliced white cake, and Mike gives a shout out to Dr. Will and Erin Brodie (his wife).  Britney asks Dr. Will to open up a Dr. Tatoff in Tulsa.  Mike is not eating the cake, but I can taste birthday cake and smell the frosting just watching them eat it.

In the kitchen Wil is teaching Frank his little dance.  Frank almost has it. Wil counts out the rhythm and now Ian appears in the kitchen wearing blue tighty undies and shoes--nothing else!  Everyone cheers and he is wearing matching blue sunglasses.   They are American Eagle undies.  He is still walking on his toes.

Outside they are laughing about the first HOH bed challenge, and how hard it was for Jenn and Joe.  Janelle said Joe really hurt himself.  Britney mentions the fun they had watching Ian on the spy screen running around the house. Mike says this was during the "Willie Era". Mike didn't know about this, and Britney describes how he ran around--I think Ian was acting like a hamster maybe?  Britney says Ian looks at himself in the mirror and makes faces.

Mike says Ian went into sequester "with a book", and didn't bring any DVDs, or magazines.  They talk about how BB gave them an invitation and not a key.  Danielle tried to talk about it and got a warning.

***continue reading after the jump***



14. Inside they are boozing. Ian wants to know if Showtime is showing "us or them".  Wil starts shoulder rolling at the kitchen counter and he and Jenn do some rapping saying "it's amazing".

Outside, Mike is saving his cake and will try to trade it for booze inside the house.  He thinks that might be tough because they have a cookie cake for Wil in the house.  They hear everyone shouting inside and Mike says they must be exaggerating since 2 of the 6 people inside are Have Nots.

Danielle talks about how drunk Wil is going to be.  Mike wants to swap out the patio furniture with the couches they are sitting on now.  They aren't very drunk outside---Janelle says the drinks they had were too fruity and sugary to catch much of a buzz..  Britney starts making a plea to "Jeff", and Janelle considers what she would do for more booze.  Now she recreates what she said to Willie to make him so mad and throw the pork rinds at her.

Britney mentions Janelle's "certain voice" she uses and Mike says it is the "Janie Doll" voice.  Mike talks about how mean Dani is in the morning.  Mike mentions trying to decide in the draft between Joe and Jenn, and then decided he had never known a chef that didn't have a bad temper, so he went with Jenn.  Now they discuss Danielle Reyes and Janelle says she was the best strategic female BB player of all time.  Britney said she met her in Vegas and Danielle didn't know who she was.  Janelle said she shoud have won her season, BB3.

(Danielle Reyes should be there instead of Britney,in my opinion.  No camera shot of Mike Boogie while they discuss Danielle, whom he may or may not have had a fling with after BB7.)

Also, Britney is seated on one of the white couches between Mike and Janelle.  Whenever Janelle speaks, Britney turns toward Mike and makes "look at me" faces just short of rolling her eyes.  There is A LOT of passive aggression there.  I'm sure AGP feels this showdown coming from a mile away....

15.  Inside the house Ashley is doing a handstand in the kitchen, with Frank holding her feet.  Then she stands up and starts rapping Slim Shady and they go to commercial.  (This shit is getting CRAZY.)

Outside Janelle goes to her cigarette stash and gets one to smoke.  She has them stored over by the patio furniture and only has a handful left.  She lit it using the fire pit and appears to be enjoying it.

When the awning went up they knew they could go back in the house.  They walk into the house carrying slices of cake and other sweets.  There is just a blur of nutty energy when Janelle, Wil and Ian start having a cake fight.  Janelle has it all over her face, and Ian does too.  (He's a Have Not so he washes it off immediately.)  Wil has cake in his shoe, and all over his cool jacket.  The newbies inside are more buzzed than the sushi group, it seems.  Wil mentions meeting Kid Rock at Churchill Downs.

Wil is drinking red wine straight from the bottle, but I wouldn't call it chugging.  More like sipping, and there is still plenty left.  Ashley gets crazy and slaps Ian's butt.  Janelle starts trying to clean the cake off the floor.  (Hello ants!)  Wil helps her, too.  She is wearing spike heels and a short skirt and is trying to clean house.

Dan has a huge bandage now on the inside of his left calf---from the MC Hammer pants.  He and Danielle whisper in the bedroom about Britney's complaining during dinner.  (Britney is nearly intolerable this week up on her high horse.)  Dan can't believe she acts that way.  Dani is embarrassed that Dan called out her relationship with Shane.

Danielle:  Everybody thinks I have a showmance now!  (No, we don't...)

16.  Sarah is in the DR tonight, and Mike asks if they can have more alcohol for Wil's birthday.  Janelle has to clean off her Loubs now--there was cake on the top of them.  Ashley tells Mike that when Wil got called to the DR, she and Jenn dressed up to surprise him for his birthday.  Britney continues to complain, arms folded, about the sugary drinks.  Dan chimes in that they had a lot of great food, though.

Wil and Danielle  run through Wil's dance routine together in the kitchen and Wil is in fine form. Everyone gathers around Wil and chants to get him to do a shot.  He spilled some wine on the counter and they chanted for him to "suck it up, suck it up" so he he leaned over and did it.  Then Janelle did it too,being careful to hold back all of that hair. Everyone is cheering and it is a big party in there.

Mike:  Janelle can you see yourself partying with Wil on one side and Beau on the other?

Janelle:  Oh that would be great!

Now they start chanting Shot Shot Shot again..  Wil does that and then bows and waves theatrically.  Britney wants to know if he will streak when they get to the bottom of the bottle.  He says when they can go outside then he will go skinny dipping.

Janelle and Mike want to go into the DR to beg for beer.  This is getting crazy.  They start chanting "Jodi Jodi Jodi" (ha ha ha) and Ian decides to streak again.  At the 1:10 mark of the show, Ian comes out totally naked with a hat over his crotch.  They chant his name, laugh, and chug the wine.  Wil finishes the wine.

17.  Now they play spin the bottle!  Janelle has to kiss Jenn and runs around to give her a quick peck.  They boo.  Then Ashley has to kiss Mike and he leans over the counter and they go at it, deeply and with tongue.(!)  They laugh and high five Mike as he stands on the counter.  Now Britney has to spin, and kisses Ashley and it is on the lips but not too much.  Shane spins and it lands on hmself.  Ha ha.  Then he chose Danielle and they hug and kiss.  There wasn't much lip contact though. It was mostly a laughing hug.

Frank spins and then kisses and hugs Jenn.  Ian spins and lands on Ashley.  He goes in for the kill but she pulls away laughing.  They are all laughing and Jenn says this is the best thing that has happened in this house.  Then it's Wil's turn to spin and all of the guys pretend to run down the hall but then come back.  When he spinned it landed on himself, so he chose Mike and went over and kissed him on the cheek.  Mike gave him a great hug too.

Wil says he wants to keep the wine bottle and sell it on Ebay.  He wants all of the BB girls to put on red lipstick and kiss it so he will make more money.  Janelle and Danielle go down to the bathroom to get their make up and start whispering and laughing together, hugging in delight.  They are talking about Danielle's kiss with Shane, which she says was her first kiss with him.  (And he's had the HOH room for two nights already, so let's just chew on that fact..)  Janelle says they have a budding BB14 Showmance and Danielle is cringing with embarrassment.  She has a crush on Shane and is acting coy about it.

18.  Britney comes in and wants to know what they are talking about, so they tell her.  Ashley comes in too.  Danielle asks them if it looked "fake" or not.  Janelle said watching Boogie kiss Ashley was like watching a cheap porn movie.  Ashley says she thought they were going to peck and then the tongues came out.  (Ashley kissed him back, though, big time.)  Janelle says Shane and Danielle were better though.  Britney says it was Showmantic.  They are all gushing and jumping around in a circle, like girls being happy for each other do, and then Britney chimes in.

Britney:  I think it was too short. (i.e. the kiss with Shane)

Danielle, looking relieved:  I think it was too....

The group of four is silent.  No one wants to say it.

Janelle:  Yeah, I think we all...have a big question mark there...

(Good way to put it Janelle.)

Ashley breaks the ice and says she wanted to kiss Frank.  (!)  The girls start chanting Ashley's name and drag her to the kitchen and announce she wants to kiss Frank.

Frank, standing up:  Well okay!  A short one...

And they have a good peck on the lips. The camera closes in on Ian's sad face.  (Awwww.)  They are waiting for the backyard to open and Mike appears with one more bottle of red wine. Janelle yells she wants the first dibs, since she requested it.

19.  Britney gets shot glasses and says Ashley needs one "for being a good sport".  They laugh about how desperate they are to chug shots of wine.  There is still a yummy looking slice of iced cake on the counter.  They all do a shot of red wine and toast, waiting for Wil to finish a long chanting toast.  About what, I don't know.

Joe is mostly silent.  It would suck to be the sober one there tonight.  The girls do a shot of red wine and Wil proclaims this birthday "one of the best".  Danielle takes a turn sucking wine off the table.  Jenn says she is good and she doesn't need any more.   Mike says this looks like the Real World Challenges where everybody is intense in the challenges, and then starts getting wasted and hooking up later. Dan watches the show and brings up a few examples.

Mike gives a shout out to Theo Von, and his twitter.  Theo was on Road Rules and a few Challenges, and is good friends with Dr. Will and Boogie from Battle of the Reality Stars on Bravo a few years ago.  (That was where Will met his wife Erin Brodie.)

20.  Mike is wearing a pale blush sport coat with a blue checkered collared shirt.  He says giving them only one more bottle of wine is like a "big fuck you" given how many people are in the house.   At the 1:35 mark they all line up in the back yard and make a tunnel for Wil to run through, chanting "birthday suit, birthday suit".  He did not disappoint, throwing his black panties aside at the back door, and running through the tunnel with his sailor hat over his crotch.  He jumped in the pool naked and then put his hat back on.  It was glorious gesture.

21.  Then Britney and Danielle go upstairs.  Dan cautioned her not to drink too much, and now she is obsessing about Shane.

Danielle:  I don't think he wants to kiss me again...he didn't act like it!

Brit, in her bossy tone:  No, he doesn't want to kiss you in front of all of these people, when you've been drinking.

Dani:  But wouldn't that be a good thing...unless he thinks I'm a bad kisser....

(They barely even made lip contact.  Wil kissed Mike Boogie on the cheek with more passion.)

Brit:  He just doesn't want it to be so public...and neither does Dan.  He's trying to be protective.

Dani is worried this scene is going to be "all over the whole episode".  Britney said that BB has plenty of material to work with now.  Britney is changing clothes and Dani wants her to come with her to her room downstairs so she can change, too.  (That Danielle is a real Stage Five Clinger.)

Danielle is obsessing and freaking out and says Shane is acting weird and won't even look at her now.  It makes her feel bad.

Britney says he didn't want to kiss her for the first time in front of people.  Britney points out that Dan is the one who pointed the bottle right at Danielle and Dani doesn't remember that.  Dani is going on and on with worry like she is 12 years old.  Britney dressed to get attention now with a cropped top and low stretch pants.  She claimed she wasn't going for sexy, but comfort.

22.  Outside Ian smokes one of Janelle's cigarettes and she has another one, too.  Everyone cheers at Ian smoking.  (If BB is going to buy anybody more cigarettes, it will be Janelle.)

In the bedroom Dani keeps going on and on (do you think it will be on the live episode?  do you think they will show it on tv? do you think Shane meant it?)  Dani felt butterflies.  Britney says that Frank was mad that the girls drank the second bottle of wine.

Dani is so worried about kissing someone on TV, but just put her bra on over her dress and stood there in it for a minute, right in front of a zillion cameras.   Britney says she will give Shane and Dani some time alone upstairs but Dani worries that it will be awkward.  She says she is really tipsy right now, but Britney isn't.  Britney takes this opportunity AGAIN to say the drinks outside were "disgusting".  Dani says she is so happy to meet Britney and they hug.  Dani is "serious" about that.  She hopes she doesn't look fat right now.

23.  They go outside and Wil says "here come the highlighter sisters" and it is funny.  Their shirts are the color of highlighters.  Shane sits sullenly in one of the patio chairs.  (But what else is new?)  The entire cast sits around the fire, except for Mike who just went to change clothes and Ashley who is in the shower.

Wil said they were all falling asleep earlier and he was going to have a cup of tea, then they got he bottle of wine and went crazy.  Wil asked if it was from Geisha House and they don't know. Wil asks for a round of applause for the "people who make it look great out here" and they all clap.  Wil says the lights outside are like stadium lights, that are often left on all night on football fields.

Danielle is sitting on a table next to Shane's chair and is looking over at him, trying to get his attention, but he is looking the other way.

24.  They ask Ian to describe his experience in a few short words, like Julie Chen would do.  Ian says it was just "...a peck...a short kiss by the fridge".  They all laugh.  Ian says it is a "flirtmance" and says that he learned that word from Mike Boogie.

Janelle:  A flirtmance can be very strong....

(I think Ian is hurt and embarrassed by Ashley's kiss with Mike, and later her voluntary one with Frank.)

Shane moved to sit on the couch and is sitting by Ashley.  Mike Boogie took his chair next to Danielle.

(Danielle is so self-absorbed and miserable right now about the whole thing.  She has distilled the whole night down to that half-second of "smooching" with Shane and it is all about her now.)

Wil thanks everyone for the "glorious send off by the pool" and says it was the best birthday ever, and how many people can say that they celebrated in front of "tens of millions of people and a few of the coolest folks I know".

25.  There is a rare moment of FISH on Showtime when Wil ask them if anyone has seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a few of them started singing the theme song.  Joe got called to the DR and they all groan, knowing they will all get called to discuss their reactions to the night's events.

Dani asks the group if the whole thing will be on TV...tonight...next week?  Mike mimics the show's voiceover saying that there was tension in the house until Wil's birthday celebration...

Wil says it is important to remember that they are all people just playing the game.  He mentions getting the new Avia shoes for the competition and Mike says he will be paying taxes on those.  Britney jokes it will cost him $10.98 for the taxes on the shoes.

(Everything they receive must be reported as income on their 1099-MISC forms at tax time.)

Dani brings up AGAIN that she wants to see how they will edit everything for TV.  Wil wants a show of hands for the HG who will watch the show immediately when they get home.  Mike and Ian raised their hands, but I don't know who else did.  Wil says he will wait awhile to watch it.  Frank doesn't know how he will be able to watch it, but they tell him CBS will have the episodes on the website for a year. Britney will watch it on her DVR.

26. Joe came back from the DR and Wil goes in. Joe says "it looks like you're going to be on the cover of Playgirl!" to Ian and we got another rare Showtime FISH screen.  They discussed Scott Long's rage issues (BB5) and then Dan says Jessie Godderz  is shorter than he is.  Mike is stunned and says Jessie looks huge on TV.  Ian and Danielle compare heights and she is about an inch taller.  Then Ian and Britney compare heights and he is several inches taller.

27.  When we come back from commercial Joe and Mike are talking about restaurant work--I think Joe said it gets so hot when he's "expediting on the line".

Mike:  My chef in DC eats french fries...yes, he's fainted twice in the kitchen, left in an ambulance once...yeah he's large.  When he's expediting and there are tickets all over, he's just munching fries like crazy.  I'm like...don't die on me here dog!

Joe drinks about 20 glasses of iced tea every day, with Sweet n Low.  Ian goes inside to go to bed  .  Joe would drink bottled water if they had it. Mike asked him what his favorite bottled water is and Joe said "Fuji".  Mike said, "do you mean Fiji"?  He did, and said his wife is a runner and they drink about a gallon of water every day.

Joe is like a condemned man this week, so they all let him do his little infomercial about his "Mad Love Cooking" business he is building.  He is using that name because "that is the name of his cooking show".  He describes all of the franchise fees, and actually compared his business to Subway and they way they charge their franchisees.  Joe claims to have five different "turn key concepts", like a sports bar, that franchisees can choose from.

The camera shows the people on the couch covered in a blanket and staring blankly ahead.

28.  Now we see Janelle in the bathroom taking off her makeup talking to Ian about BB.  They both say BB5 is the weakest season of the "one story BB house seasons". (i.e. before the show moved to the current soundstage)

Janelle: What was it even about?

Ian:  The casting was bad...I think that Mike guy went too soon..he would have been good.

Janelle: It was horrible....and you know I'm not a Jase fan...

Ian:  Did you watch BB5 before BB6 or after?

Janelle:  Before.  Of course!  I was a BB fan.  It definitely gave me an edge.

Ian:  It's so weird being in here.  I never thought I would be here.

Janelle: It's so great that you got in on your first try, too.

Ian has cake stuck in the bottom of his running shoes.  Janelle is creaming her face and jokes about the "R2D2" camera going crazy tonight.  Ian realizes the show is on Saturday, and his Mom is definitely watching.

Ian:  Shit. .....

29.  Out side Joe is going on and on and on with Danielle about his restaurant using sustainable products, even the ketchup.  They all get up to go to bed and Joe says he didn't mean to put them to sleep.

Now in the HOH Britney puts a sweatshirt over her trashy crop top and Danielle is staring at her.  They discuss Joe going on and on and  about his restaurant.  Shane is laying in bed listening to his CD and Dani is perched on the end, talking to Britney.

Britney starts a monologue about how at home "with the hubs" a Saturday night with wine ends a lot differently than this.

Britney:  I'll put it this way. It doesn't end with me at a fireplace staring at a bunch of strangers and then going to bed.  I'll just put it that way!

and

Britney, lowering her voice:  We have this really great master bath.

Dani: Yeah, we do.

Britney, in a snotty tone:  No, I mean at home! My home!

Then she proceeds to imply that she gets off in the bathtub with the waterjets.  Danielle laughs naughtily and scoots back so she is sitting in the middle of the bed.  Shane ignores them with his headphones on.

(It won't do Danielle any good to get horned up in there.  She's not getting any action from Shane.  Tonight or any night.)

(You know he told her he "promised his mother" he wouldn't have a showmance.   Ha ha ha ha ha.)

30.  Back in the downstairs bathroom Janelle is brushing her teeth and Mike is telling her that she has looked great in all of her BB costumes.  He mentions the costume yesterday and says it was really working on her.

Janelle:  Really?

Mike: It was straight out of an 80's teen movie!

Frank:  I had to break my streak!

Mike is laughing and asks Wil if he has broken his.  Wil just smiles and Mike is cracking up.  He has to explain to Janelle what they are talking about.

Janelle:  There's no jack shack though!  Where do you do it?

She laughs about "that guy from Britney's season" who would jerk off in the shower.  Frank says he was just kidding.  They all laugh about Lane, but not by name.  Mike wants to know where Wil did it, and he says it is no where near where anyone sleeps or eats.

Frank:  You did it in the storage room!

He says no, and no one will every know.

31. Back upstairs Britney is eating Cheezits and telling Danielle "I'm so fat right now". Britney says "having a husband is the best thing ever".  She goes through her family's entire day and the way they communicate via text, phone, and every word they say when he gets home from work.

Shane looks like he is asleep.  Britney keeps going on and on about herself and her life, obviously forgetting that she promised to give Dani and Shane time alone.  Dani wants to visit her in Oklahoma.  Britney says there is a Carrie Underwood concert in November that she can come to, but she "has to have a date with her or it would be embarrassing."

Dani goes on and on about not knowing any guys in Oklahoma.  Shane lays comotose with the headphones on.

32. When we come back from commercial, Danielle is up on the pillow with Shane and they are talking about the "kiss" they had.  Shane says he thought about picking Frank for the kiss and then tells some sort of "joke" about pubic hair on his face.  (WTF?)

Then he is saying that he had to win today because no one on his team could.

Shane:  At least with Jeff and Jordan she won a few!

Danielle feigns being upset and turns her back to him, but with her ass up in the air and then rubbing it against his leg.  He doesn't even look over at her.  He went to brush his teeth and Dani brings up the kissing AGAIN.  She missed the Boogie - Ashley kiss and he says it was about 7 seconds long.  She wants to know how the whole thing started.

Frank gets called to the DR.  Danielle still has on a full face of heavy, heavy makeup and looks down at her own cleavage as she lays on the bed waiting for Shane to come back from the bathroom.

(She is so transparent.)

33.  Now we see Janelle in the hammock with Ashley and Wil, gossiping about Danielle and her obsession over Shane. Janelle is saying that there is a certain way that some one should look at you....(implying that is not happening with Shane).  Janelle said that they have to work with her, so they'd better put up with it.

Wil:  We have to..we have no other choice.

Wil apologizes to Janelle for his performance today in the POV and they chat about the marathon he ran.

Back upstairs Britney AND Dan are now there and Dan tells Danielle not to get under the covers.  Shane thanks him, calling him Dad.

Dan:  My whole point is that no one thinks they are together, so you don't go up on the block together.

Dani brings up how Dan called out their showmance, and wants to go over the entire spin the bottle story AGAIN.

Britney:  Tomorrow you need to sober up and act scared!  (to be nominated)

34.  Ian is eating a bowl of raisin bran out by the hammock while Janelle rocks with Ashley and Wil.  Wil thanks him for participating "sans alcohol".

Wil:  I really meant what I said, that I'm happy to be here.  You guys are great people.

Ian looks up and sees a door open that says "Authorized Persons Only" and points out it is open.  They don't see it so he points at it.

BB:  Ian, STOP THAT!

Janelle said the BB house doesn't have much curb appeal.  Ian is surprised that the "front yard" is actually a sound stage and not an open air area.  Wil says they have one of the classiest front yards of all of the BB houses.  Janelle didn't get to see it.  They discuss the zen motif.  Wil brings up that the entire motif is Japanese, including the Have Not room.

35. Upstairs Dan tells Danielle that her behavior was "a little over the top" tonight.  Britney says she is going to brush her teeth and send Danielle downstairs.  Shane asked Britney to hand him his Perrier, please.   (ha ha ha)

36.  The final seconds of the show feature Mike and Frank plotting on Skid Row.  They have a deal with Shane and Danielle, but Frank would like Ian or Jenn to win HOH and nominate Shane and Ashley.  That way, he looks good and can still work with the other....

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