Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Glass House Live Feeds - Day #1

I am struggling to find words to describe what I just saw.  The Glass House live feeds were live for the first time today, from 3 - 4 pm EST.  I didn't realize this was happening until I looked at Twitter at  3:45, so I just caught the last 15 minutes. 

It felt like a very long 15 minutes.

I found the stream on the ABC website.  Go to the page for the show, and then choose the tab called "View and Vote".  The stream is down now, but I'm pretty sure you will be able to replay it because there is a button there indicating you can "watch videos instead".  This is similar to the BB UK business model, which only broadcasts live feeds for specified time periods, and then replays it over and over.  And over.

OK, here is what happened in 15 minutes.  I grabbed some screen shots to give you a visual.

1.  All of the cast members were gathered in the living room.  Some of the ladies were all dressed up, and there was a lot of make up on many of the girls.

2.  A female voice was heard talking to them.  Kind of a sexy, robotic type voice.  She was addressing each one of them and I think the question had to do with who they thought America would like, and why.


3.  I was kind of overwhelmed watching this and it all sounded like "blah blah blah".  Everyone is on their best behavior right now.  And they were all HYPER aware that this was the first time we were watching them live.  They were really trying to sell it.


4.  This guy's shirt says "Don't bro me if you don't know me."  By the looks of it, that guy is someone's father.  May be going through a mid-life crisis.


5.  ***Prediction ***  The guy in the white button down shirt thinks he is the star of the show (Alex?).  During the 15 minutes I watched, he made sure we all knew that he cut his hand within the first 20 minutes of coming in the house, and that we should be sure to watch on Monday to see the bloody carnage.  He also said 'Hi Mom and Dad".  And I also think he was the one telling us to "follow him on Twitter" as the live broadcast ended.   Someone may have outed him as being gay, but I'm not sure if they were joking or not.  He has a bandage on left hand, indicating that he indeed has a boo boo.  The guy in the striped polo in the background seems to be hiding himself from the camera in shame, but that is probably just a coincidence.


6.  The Brooklyn dude (Jeff?) seems like he is well-liked by the group.  He is fairly large and seems to take a leadership role.  I think he is probably gay, but I think I already got that impression from his show profile, which lists his hobby as "collecting kitsch". 


7.  So they were all watching this screen, and the Voice started asking them some really dumb questions, some of which were multiple choice.  They had to choose the answer, and then go to a specific place in the house that corresponded with their choice.  Sometimes they all went together to the same room, and sometimes they split up.  Then I realized that the same questions were posted on the computer screen for we, the viewers to answer.  The cast members were trying to guess the answers the fans would have.  Now, you all know I watch Big Brother and am biased, but this concept was very, very stupid.  Here are the questions as I recall:

*  Is it okay to date outside your own race?  (yes or no)
*  What is the largest acceptable age range for a date? (1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20+ years)
*  Who is your favorite celebrity couple?  (Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes, Brad and Angelina, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Jay Z and Beyonce)

Now, what was the answer to that one?  Most of the cast chose Jay Z and Beyonce, but the viewers picked Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson!  WTF?  Who was voting on that?  Was anybody voting on that?

That doesn't speak very well for their demographics, does it?  A bunch of old ladies who like Forrest Gump?  When the Jay Z group called out their answer, Button-down shirt guy said "Jigga Man" or something along those lines and I don't think the black guy liked that (in the red polo shirt).  He whipped his head around and said something to Button-down about it.  This seemed non-scripted, so that is good as far as I'm concerned.


 8.  The two women you see on the right were both big talkers.  The Va-Voom girl on the left is obviously Holly, the late addition to the cast.  She has on a skirt and heels, and did a fair amount of hair flipping and posing.  I don't recall hearing her say anything but I could be wrong.  I'm sure it is an awkward feeling standing there with the camera on you, not knowing who is watching, or what the TV broadcast will look like.  Might as well try to look good, huh?

9.  ***Prediction***  The girl in the yellow is going to be The Bitch.  Or at least the Biggest Bitch.  She is carrying around a "mechanical cat" and didn't smile much for the cameras.  Maybe she will be the first one to Push the Button and get the hell out of there.   Note that she was the only one in the house to choose Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.  That can't be a good omen for her interpersonal skills.  The short girl wearing a long dress is reminiscent of Rosie Perez but without the voice. The girls could tell when the camera coverage shifted and they would pivot, adjusting their hair and stances for the best possible shot toward the lens.  Those guys in the background seem like extras at this point.  Just standing around and taking up space.

10.  There they are in the bedroom holding up their "yes" sign for interracial dating.  Some of the people must have grabbed snacks off of a platter or something as they walked through the house because all of a sudden we would see them eating.  I didn't see any alcohol consumption.  You can see Brooklyn Jeff took the lead to write the answer on the Glass board.  (Kenny, was that your idea?)

The point of that whole exercise seemed to be to get them to walk around the house for the cameras to follow.  They are getting A LOT of direction from the crew.  Here is the part where I got the most douchechills:

Sexy Robotic Voice:  Are you  having a good time?

Group:  Yeah!

Unidentified Male Voice:  Yes!  We're in The Glass House!  It's always fun!

You can see some clothes balled up in the left corner of the last picture, but otherwise it doesn't even look like they are really living there.  Wouldn't it be funny if they all clock out at the end of the live feeds and go back to a hotel?

***Conclusion***

Alison Grodner and Julie Chen can breathe a sigh of relief.  This show is going to suck, and suck hard. 

Kenny Rosen is the one who needs to worry.  After all, he is stuck in a big fat legal mess after deleting all of those incriminating emails, and he will likely be out of a job soon.

2 comments :

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