Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Dick at Nite Show 8-7-11

I watched the Dick at Nite Show on RTVZone.com---this episode was taped live on August 7th, right after the CBS Sunday night show aired.

Once again I had to restart the show at least ten times.  Every time I tried to take a picture, or if my cursor ever glanced anywhere on the screen, I had to restart.  It was a real pain.

Dick's guests tonight are Jun Song (BB4 Winner), Alex the DJ (BB9), James Rhine (BB6 & All Stars), Nicole (BB2 Finalist) and Special Guest Star Ross Matthews.  You may remember high-pitched Ross as being the former fat intern from The Jay Leno Show.  I see him pop up now and then on Chelsea Lately as a panelist.

I think Dick is missing some promotional opportunities with that blank wall behind him, huh?   He should use that space to promote his Twitter account, Facebook, etc.  I can tell from what is happening on my blog that many people worldwide are interested in Evel Dick.  On Twitter alone he went from about 11,000 followers in July to over 55,000 now.


I have a boatload of tax returns to do, so I did my work and made notes when I heard something interesting.  OK here goes:

1.  If you watched BB2, then you remember Nicole as being intelligent and incredibly abrasive.  Well, we know the last part is still true.  She was very loud and talked over all of other guests.  Apparently Dick has met her before, and reached out to her last week to ask her to be a guest on his show.  So she watched all of the previous episodes and now is an expert on everything.  Of course.

2.  She did bring up some interesting things, like in her season they didn't have the POV.  BB2 was the first year they had the HOH Room, and it was really just a shitty room.  It looked like a standard hotel room in a big city---a double bed that takes up most of the room, a chintzy little round table in the corner, and a mini-fridge.  There was a window in the room with Levelor mini-blinds and the HOH used to crouch on the floor and try to peek out of the window blinds.  The HOH didn't have a separate bathroom back then.

3.  Dick was very amped up on this night and could barely sit still.  His conversation was right on point, so if he is on something at least he is functional.  Maybe sniffing and scratching his head are everyday traits for him.  There was something new, though---he constantly scratched on a notepad while other people were talking.  Not like he was writing something---like he was doodling in circles over and over.  I had to look up and around my office to figure out where the sound was coming from.

4.  There were too many guests on the show.  They all kept interrupting each other and it was kind of chaotic.  Poor Ross Matthews could barely get a word in, and he was probably the panelist with the most to say.

5.  Dick is selling a lot of items on EBay and pushes this frequently.  His cow suit from the one food challenge he was present for during BB13 is for sale now, as well as autographed pictures from his brief BB13 time.  I guess Evel Dick is not exactly rolling in dough.  He won $500K (about $300K after tax) 5 years ago---it's reasonable to assume that money is long gone.

6.  Alex is kind of a Jersey Shore type of guy with an extreme accent.  He was constantly bobbing his head and making faces while the others were talking.  He is the one wearing the white headphones in the picture above, of course.  James slammed him by saying that Ross Matthews has been on more Big Brother episodes than Alex has, after Alex called him a two time loser.

7.  Ross left the screen for a few minutes to take a phone call.  They joked that it was Jay Leno on the phone, or Chelsea Handler.  James said it was his agent telling him to get the fuck off the web show.  It was funny, and an implied acknowledgement that Ross is the only one of them who has a legitimate entertainment career.

8.  Nicole reported that after last year, Rachel wanted to speak with her for some reason and got her number from the BB people.  According to Nicole, they had a telephone conversation that lasted over 3 hours and Rachel was in quite a state.  I'm not really sure why Rachel would seek her out---I know Nicole had a tough time on the show but I don't see any real parallels there.

9.  Disclaimer:  I know someone who is friends with Nicole.  She and her husband divorced a few years after BB2.  She is known for being "crazy", so maybe that is why Rachel sought her out.

10. Nicole implied that there was A LOT to talk about from that call with Rachel, but of course that might be self-promotion.

11.  Nicole does look great, I'll give her that.  She is in her 40's now and has great skin.

12.  A conversation ensued about how Big Brother is just not as interesting as it used to be.  Most of the panelists agreed that they always watch it, but they're just not as interested in the results as they used to be.  Even Evel Dick agreed with this after reflecting on it.  And scribbling on his scratch pad.

13.  Evel Dick reported that Cassi was 'cool as shit'.  He said that he would be drinking and smoking with her and she would lift up off the couch and fart, saying "there's one for you".  Everyone laughed at this but Dick pointed out that Ross looked horrified.  (He did.)

14.  Evel Dick says that Adam was unbearable to be around after a few days in the BB13 house.  He says he personally watched Adam cook four pounds of bacon one morning.  Dick and Jeff each had a few slices, but Adam ate the rest of it.  Alex defended this by saying that he himself had lost 70 pounds on the Atkins diet (!).  I guess Adam was the one smoker that Evel Dick didn't like.

15.  Dick criticized Kalia and Dani's "HOH-itus", where they stay upstairs secluded way too much.

16.  Dick didn't understand why Dani was wearing those black glasses on the live feeds.  These are the glasses that everyone wore for the food competition.  Dick:  They don't even look good!

17.  Of course they discussed Rachel's frequent breakdowns since Brendon left.  Ross reports that even if he was straight, Rachel would probably turn him gay.

18.  A caller asked about the DR putting ideas into people's heads.  Dick responded that he "was still under contract with CBS" so he can't talk about that, but they do have a show to put on and want people to watch. Nicole decided to make this all about her, but she did bring up an interesting topic---in her season they had banner planes that would influence the other house guests and give them information.  She mentions the banner plane that flew over during the final HOH competition that nearly wrecked her life.

19.  In case you don't know, here is what she was referring to:  For the final HOH competition on BB2, Nicole, Dr. Will, and Monica (It's Awwwwnnn!) were laying on a waterbed and had to hold on to their BB key.  I vividly remember this---the competitions used to be very low tech.  They had just had the luxury competiton where they all got new clothes and Nicole was wearing a very short denim skirt.  She had been working out all summer with Shannon (Dr. Will's squeeze) and was proud of her body.  Nicole was very uncomfortable laying on that waterbed in that skirt.  Shortly after the live show ended, or right about the time it did, a banner plane flew over with a message from Nicole's husband.  It said something to the effect that "I am very disappointed in you.  Jeff"  Previously he had sent banner planes that said he was proud of her, so this was a huge blow for her.

20.  Why was her husband Jeff disappointed in her?  Well, there was a scandal that week on the live feeds.  Nicole and Will were in the hot tub drunk on wine and it was widely reported that Nicole gave Dr. Will a "foot job" under the water.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Now, both of them denied it later (Will even made a coded statement to that effect on the show.)  but something happened---they played footsie for sure.

21.  So, that was the meaning of the banner and Nicole dropped out of the competition shortly after that.  With the banner, the short skirt, and the shame of the toe job, I guess it was all too much. Plus both she and Monica wanted to have a cigarette.

22.  So now on Evel Dick's show, Nicole describes that banner as saying that her husband planned to divorce her.  An overexaggeration to be sure, but it is true that her husband wasn't happy.  They stayed together for quite a while after that, so it wasn't a deal breaker.  That's all I can say about that.

23.  Evel Dick liked Shelly when she was in the house.  The panel agreed that they would like her more if she owned what she does in the DR.  Instead of talking about being a mother and such a great person in the DR, she should admit she's lying and playing everybody.  (She's definitely playing some people, but which ones?)

24. James Rhine said that he thought Brendon wanted off the show, and was realizing that his relationship with Rachel wasn't as strong as he thought it was.  I watched their trashy wedding on BBAD, however (see link here) so I have to disagree. Brendon buys into the Brenchal crap as much as anybody, in my opinion.

25.  They have now started to openly mock the video mailbag callers, so I think they should just drop that feature.  They make fun of the way everyone looks, and Alex constantly made "look at me" faces.  There was one young girl (maybe 19, maybe younger) in a bikini who went on and on and on.  Jun joked that they were looking at a porn site.  This girl had two different video questions, with different bikinis and make up for each one.  Someone compared her to Miley Cyrus.

26.  Evel Dick stood up and 'jerked off' during two of the calls.  Just the motions, but we got it, Dick.  (I wish I could have snapped a picture of that for you...)

27.  There was an old bag who was showing some cleavage and sitting in a strange way to highlight her legs.  They made fun of her, but she deserved it.  I guess Evel Dick can get laid anytime he wants to, literally like a rock star.

So my recommendation is for Evel Dick to limit the number of guests so that they can have real conversation, and not to mock the callers if at all possible.  Or just do away with them altogether.  Seeing them while you make fun of them is just too sad.  Even for me....

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