Sunday, September 5, 2010

She Imagines Her Jury House Entrance

She wishes she could just sneak in and go upstairs.
Britney: I just don't want to see Kathy....you have jowls, and I hate you.....

If she has to see Rachel's vag, she is going to "press the button and leave".  She goes on and on about Rachel's fake boobs, and doesn't want to hear the words "gummi bears" out of her.

Now she mimics Brendon and wonders what job he has taken on in the Jury House..the pool boy...or the chef..... Now she talks about his incurable toe fungus.

Britney:  Matt?  Not so bad.  I'll say hey, sorry I evicted you. Now put on your footsies and let's have a party.  Ragan?  I'll be happy to see him.  We have a lot to talk about and we can watch movies together.  I can't wait to see Monet again.  When she left I was like, I can't do this, and look at where I am now.  Andrew?  Meh...I'm indifferent.  Kristin?  She might cut me.  They need to give her an extra pat-down before the finale.  But she does wear her pants extra high.....

A plane flies overhead and Britney says Oh my gosh, in 10 days that is me.

What a crazy summer....a summer I will never forget.   Should I wear green or black for my eviction?  Black may be too dramatic, but green is always classy.  Let's see how tan I get in the next few days.

God I miss my parents.

And with that she goes inside.  No mention of Nick, that I heard anyway.

Woe is Britney, as She Addresses America

Talking to herself....she just needs to suck it up.  A lot of other people left, and someone else will leave.  When the other people left, she didn't care. 

Britney:  I was like, bye.

She won $10,000, and got this experience.  She says that the 3rd runner up is "always the worst girl in the pageant", because she "didn't even get close".

There are ants all over.  She is ready to get out of there now.  She played, she's "done playing", and is ready to leave.  She wants to be on the plane home to see her family and friends.  To hear their sweet voices.  There are 10 days left---that's nothin'.  That 's shorter than the trip to Italy with her mom, and that went by in a flash.  She would rather be with her mom in Italy, but she's sure she'll go again.

She just hopes her mom isn't embarrassed by her, that she didn't do better.  This makes her start to sniffle....she came up short, but she tried.  Her brother Brandon is probably so happy.  She wants to go home and see her dogs, her car....Chelsea Handler and the Real Housewives. (ha ha ha)

Britney:  Ah. I love the Real Housewives.  I'm ready to watch football.  I'm calling it now..the Skins and the Packs.  Now that I didn't win, can someone out there get me into the Super Bowl?  It's going to be better than ever this year, in the new Texas stadium.  If you have tickets, I will be your date! 

She is sorry to miss the Arkansas game this weekend but will be there soon.  She is a proud alumnus.  She wants to watch Dirty Dancing and Bridal Wars in the Jury House.  Also Sleeping with the Enemy, a Julia Roberts classic.  She .....can't......wait...to watch a movie!

She wants to see her dogs.  She never realized how much she loved Arkansas.  It's safe, beautiful, clean, open....80 acres of nothin'.  She would love to see her parent's house right now, and to pick her brother up from school.  She misses everybody. Her sister's birthday is in five days.

Britney is Huddled on the Hammock

but everyone else appears to be asleep.  Maybe she plans to talk to her Mom or something.

Flashback from Last Night #8

Britney finally appears and walks quickly through the kitchen.

Enzo:  What are you doin', yo?

Britney:  I'm brushin' my teeth.

Silence in the kitchen after that. Enzo pours himself a huge glass of wine and Hayden and Lane eat standing up.  Now Lane busts out a spray can of ant killer and looks at a trail of ants on the wall accusingly.
I can hear Hayden on another camera saying that he doesn't want Britney to "just bash Lane".  Now we see Britney walk back through the living room after presumably brushing her teeth, on the way to bed.

Britney goes in the Taj and starts the Going to Bed process, sniffling a little here and there.  The camera crew must all be stoned, or maybe there's a shift change, because this is what we see.  They can't even manage to put the camera on her..she is just to the right of the camera shot, gathering up the covers and maybe changing.
Lane opens the door and sticks his head in.

Lane, softly:  Don't you want to come out here?

Britney, sniffling:  No. I'm going to bed.

Lane:  Are you really mad?  Are you mad at me?

Britney, crying a little:  I just want to go to bed.

Lane, sadly:  I want to talk to you...
Britney:  It's not a good idea right now.  I just need to go to bed.

Lane stands there for a long moment, quiet.

Lane:  I never lied to you.

Britney, quietly:  Okay.
Lane:  You'll see after this, in my DR sessions.....

Britney:  It's okay Lane.  It's a game Lane.  It's a game.

Lane: I know, but I wasn't playing you.
Britney:  It's a game.  It just sucks to know you have no chance.
Lane:  I wasn't playing you.  You were my chance at the Final Two. You'll see that in my DRs.  I never wanted this....I never played you.....there are a lot of feelings for you...you are a really cool girl....I don't  want anything to change after this...

She is weeping now and reads her letter, whimpering and holding back the tears as much as she can.
I guess her mom didn't make it clear about the Brigade in her codes, huh?  She turned out the lights and laid in bed, sniffling and breathing hard.
That is her under the quilt, but she is so tiny you can barely see her body under there.  Can you imagine the conversation she will have with the Jury about this?

Flashback from Last Night #7

As best I can tell, Britney must have gone to the DR when she left the HOH.  I don't think Lane ever found her.

I fast-forwarded to about 12:15 am where Hayden, Lane and  Enzo are still congratulating themselves and going over the events of the game.

Notable item:  Enzo's little brother "always has weed".  Nice to know.  And nice to know him, I'll bet.  You know what they say about a Friend with Weed...

They decide to stop being scared of Britney and to go downstairs and eat burgers, etc.  Hayden wants BB to open the back door for them "and to let them play".

Hayden reads his letter when he has a moment alone and calls out every member of his family and says he loves them.  (Grandma and Grandpa...Grandma East Coast.....)

Enzo walks around and looks for Britney in the Taj and the Have Not room.   He reports this to Lane who is in the kitchen and they can't believe she is still in the DR.  They decide to go outside and sit in the sauna.

Enzo:  She probably quit, yo.

Lane:  Nah.  She wouldn't do that.  That would be dumb.  They're probably calming her down.  Lane puts ketchup and mustard on his burger.
Enzo has already devoured his.  They cooked them earlier and just heated them up in the microwave.  Hayden takes the last one.
Enzo:  She's been in the fucking DR for like two hours!  Maybe we shouldn't have told her..

They point out that it takes a lot of pressure off Hayden's back, since Britney knows what to expect now.   Lane is dousing his burger with tons of hot sauce.  His taste buds must be nuked by that stuff by now.

Flashback from Last Night #6

And Brit finally breaks down.  Hayden and Enzo started laying it on really thick, about how much they respect and like her, and wanted to be honest with her.

Enzo:  You're funny as shit, and a great girl.

Hayden:  The last thing I ever wanted was to make you cry.

(No sound out of Lane.  This must be killing him.  How great would it be if he made a declaration of love for her during the Finale and left it up to her on how to proceed with their relationship?)

Enzo got up to hug Britney but she jumped off the bed first and said she just wanted to go.  She was really strong during this whole discussion but she finally had enough.
Britney:  I just want to go downstairs....how would you feel if you had no shot at winning?  I gave up my whole summer with my fiance for nothing.....

(Britney has been in the house for 50% of the time that she even knew Nick. If she really thinks she is going to be with him forever, 3 months is not that long.)
All the emotions are just pouring out now.  Enzo keeps telling her she's an awesome player.

Britney:  I'm not mad...I just, you know......
She left the room.

Lane:  She's definitely mad at me.

Enzo:  We shouldn't have told her.

Lane wants to leave the room to go find her but Enzo tells him not to.   They discuss how calm she was for most of the time before she started crying.

Lane:  She'll feel better tomorrow.

Enzo:  We just have tomorrow, and Monday, and that's it.  (ugh, not really)

Hayden: I feel terrible.

Enzo:  Me and him had the worst part of it!  (I guess while we were watching the fucking flamingos.)

Hayden:  I wanted to be a part of it!  You shut me out!

Now they describe their conversation to Hayden.  They are claiming that Britney forced it out of them, and asked Lane if he was a part of it.  Then apparently Enzo burst out with the truth.

Enzo:  She just found out she's goin' home.  Let it sink in for awhile....

Lane, to Enzo:  We're definitely playing for 50 G's.

(right in front of Hayden, who can still use the POV!)

Maybe they want Hayden to know that if he sticks with the Brigade he will win the money.  Whereas with Britney, it might be a close call.

Enzo is just so sure that whoever is out before the Final Two will win the $25K.  I really, really think the fans should vote for someone other than these three for Fan Favorite.  I would vote for Matt or Britney at this point.  Britney's tears on the show during this reveal might win her some fan sympathy.

Lane left the HOH to look for Britney.

Flashback from Last Night #5

Oh, now Hayden returns from his DR session.  Enzo starts using all the Brigade codes in one long sentence.

Britney, to Hayden:  They told me everything.

Hayden, obviously pissed: You guys told her?  You didn't wait for me?  How did you go off and tell them without me?
***POTENTIAL GAME-LOSING MOMENT ABOUT TO HAPPEN***

Enzo:  Now he's worried.....

Britney:  He's worried about what?

Enzo:  He's worried neither of us are gonna take him to the final two!
Britney:  So why you tellin' me that?

Hayden:  Are you glad that you know?

Britney:  It wasn't a big secret.

Lane:  No one put us up together.

Enzo is going on and on about his gameplay---how he kept spreading rumors about other alliances, etc.
Hayden explains that it was a Day #1 decision, after they all knew that none of them got up during the Blackout.

Britney:  Ya'll totally turned on Matt, though.

They try to defend that situation.  Notice that Hayden still has Kathy's sock monkey.
Hayden:  I know that at different times this season, Matt wanted me or Lane to go.

Britney:  No, he never said your name up here.  He just wanted Ragan out.

Hayden:  He was really tight with Rachel, too.  I think he had something to do with me going up.

Britney:  Rachel talked to me about that before she did it.  She really just wanted Kristin out, not you.

Hayden:  Matt was by far the best player in the game.  I knew that if he made Final Five he had the best chances to win it.   We had to let him go.

Britney:  He just overplayed it, that's all.   So, you're saying I'm definitely going home?  Is that what you're saying?
Hayden:  I'm not saying definitely.  I'm not using the veto, thought.

Enzo:  I may not win the $500,000, but I was part of the best alliance ever made.  What is going on in here?  Why so quiet?......We have enough respect for Britney to tell her.

He points out that Hayden is a shoe-in to win.  Hayden protests but Lane backs it up.  Hayden is the winner.

(Britney better capitalize on  Hayden's paranoia.....she shouldn't feel bad about Lane getting booted now, since she found out the truth.)
Enzo:  Hayden's the best player, hand's down.

Britney:  We'll see.  We'll see when I'm in the Jury House.

Flashback from Last Night #4

Britney is listening to Lane and Enzo describe the whole game from the Brigade perspective.  She is chewing her nails and cuticles, big time.  She lost...I guess it hurts.
Enzo says that Britney is the only one who knows everything.  Now he jockeys for her vote by saying that he liked Britney from the beginning, when she "was with Monet".

Enzo:  That week Matty had the DPOV, we told him we were keeping Lane and voting him out.  So we thought he was gonna put up one of us, but he put out Kathy.

Enzo says "Ragan didn't even fuckin' know what was going on.".  They laugh about Kathy using their slang and not knowing what it meant.

Britney:  Everybody already knew that you guys were the only ones that said that, and they knew it meant something.

Enzo:  This has never been done before in BB history...that's serious, yo.  We made the alliance right after the fuckin' blackout, man, because I knew none of them were the Saboteur.  I knew where they were sittin' and I knew they weren't it.  We came right upstairs and made the deal.

(Enzo is clearly making his case as the mastermind of BB12, to get Britney's jury vote.  He is even saying now that he wanted to keep Monet!)

Enzo:  It's gonna be known.  It has to be.  We all got in side alliances so that we had the votes when we got put up.

Britney:  Everybody thought Matty was with Ragan...

Enzo:  That's what I'm sayin'.....he was with us.

Britney's wheels are turning, but she seems to accept what they are saying.  I don't know if she even thinks she should bother approaching Hayden for a deal.  (But I bet there is opportunity there....Hayden is very suspicious of Enzo and Lane freezing him out for Final Two.)

Enzo:  There's a whole nother shit about this season, that no one knows about.  And that's the masterpiece of it. And it's the truth though.

Lane:  We were going to come out when the Jury started...

Enzo:  Yeah, we wanted to come out then.  But that wouldn't have been a good choice...

Britney:  No, it wouldn't have been.

Enzo:  Matty fucked up when he put up Kathy.  Brendon and Rachel don't know what's goin' on....even Kristin don't know what's goin' on....

Lane, chuckling:  Brendon and Rachel would talk shit about Hayden all the time to me, and I would go tell him.

They all think Matty was the 2nd Saboteur, and that he got the DPOV at that time.

My Two Cents:  Giving Matt the DPOV as a freebee for Pandora's Box seemed to be the producers trying to hand him the game.  I don't even think the Powers That Be thought it out very well.  For example, the DPOV was only active for two weeks.  Matt was the HOH---he didn't need the DPOV as the HOH!  So that whole first week of the DPOV eligibility was a waste.  It was just poorly executed and ill-planned.  AGP needs to make some staffing decisions for next year--new creative people, please.

Britney is still chewing.

Flashback from Last Night #3

About 5 minutes now with the Effing Flamingos.
I guess the inmates are running the asylum in there.

Now I see Hayden coming downstairs in yet a different T-shirt (was he holding out on us this summer with his couture?  or did he get all of these clothes in his HOH basket?)  Hayden is going into the DR---I think to ask for the Brigade T-shirts.

Now we go back to the HOH room, where Britney is already under the covers (so weird how they do that...not just sitting on the bed but getting all the way in it!) and Enzo is talking about mundane stuff.  Brit looks weary and depressed.
We keep seeing the damn Flamingos.  We're paying money for these feeds, god dammit, and I would like to  see whatever small drama still exists for us in BB12---and it is about to happen right now.  Eff You Allison!  (Unless you plan to send me one of those hanging silver jacks...then  you are the greatest producer ever.)

Oh OK---we missed the fucking reveal of the Brigade to Britney.  I guess that is a CBS-only type of item.  Mother Effer!

When we come back Lane looks sheepish and relieve that is over.
Enzo is explaining what "no GB's for the BG's" meant when they said that all season. (No Good Byes for the Brigade.)

Britney:  Well, the Brigade yolked Matty up!  (no shit)

Enzo:  Well, he flipped...he turned....we hadda do it.  This is history, yo.

Lane:  This is why we had the Beast (pointing to himself), the Meow Meow (pointing to Enzo), and the Animal.
Enzo:  And the Brains..Matty was the Brains...

Britney:  He was already the Meow Meow...

Enzo:  For me, I think it's greatness.  Because with a four person alliance, it doesn't matter who is HOH, we control the votes...she thinks we're bullshittin' her.

Britney:  No I don't.

Enzo:  Did you know about it?

Britney:  Duh.  Matty told me.  He didn't tell me it was The Brigade, but he told me he was in with ya'll.

Lane, chucking:  That's why Matty had to go.

Enzo:  The Four Horseman didn't go that far.  Dick and Danielle, father and daughter, that was a good alliance....

Lane:  When I was up here with Julie, she asked me how it felt to be in the Final Four with three Brigade members.

Britney:  Oh really?

Lane:  That's what all of our DR sessions are about.

Enzo:  That's the truth...we're not lying about this.

Britney:  I know.  I don't think you're lyin'.

Lane:  That's why I kept tellin' you not to worry, that I knew what Hayden and Enzo were doin'.

Britney:  Now I know why you guys wanted Matty out of here so bad.

Enzo:  He kept comin' up here to throw Ragan under the bus...

Britney:  Ya'll didn't make a good choice with Matty though (as a member of the Brigade).

Enzo:  Yes we did...he won two HOHs!

Lane:  He was a good choice.

Enzo:  But I knew not to trust him from the beginnin'---I knew.  Know what I mean?

***crickets***

Lane, chuckling:  We'd like sneak around late at night...

Enzo:  For a fuckin' meeting.  And we had our own codes...

Lane:  We kept gettin' in trouble because the cameras didn't know who we were talking about.

Enzo:  We had RT,TB....

Britney:  Who's TB?

Lane:  The Beast.

Enzo:  I was TM, The Meow.  Ragan was RT.

Brit:  Why was Ragan RT?

Enzo:  We had to make it rhyme...

Lane:  And then I had to take on the Brains, because we got rid of the brain...

Enzo:  Because he made a deal with Brendon and Rachel when he didn't put them up that time.  (true, a big mistake by Matt).

Matt had told them he would backdoor Brendon, but they knew he wasn't going to do it.

Lane:  We knew he was gonna put himself up as a pawn...

Britney:  Oh, you all knew about that?

Enzo:  Yeah...in the backyard...we all knew.  Because Matt knew they would just put someone else up.

Lane:  I feel bad about Ragan, because he doesn't know anything about Matt.

Enzo:  He thought he was such a great player..and he didn't know nothin' about what was goin' on in this game.

Britney:  I don't think anybody is going to be that surprised.

Flashback from Last Night #2

The Brigade assembles in the HOH room.  Enzo just carried a bottle of white wine up there and they talk about Britney.

Right in the middle of a snippet of conversation, the camera view changes to this view of the shark (from the now defunct Have Not room).
And now the flamingos.  WTF?
I think Hayden and Enzo are talking about DR sessions.  This is what I heard before the camera change:

Enzo:  Why would she say my game play was unbelievable?

Hayden:  Think she was talking about the final three....

And now the cameras are back, and we see Brit walking slowly through the house.  We see various shots of the house---an empty house.  Brit walks upstairs to the HOH, adjusting her mike the entire time which makes a loud rustling sound.
Here we go...it's about to go down.

She walked in and noticed the booze  ("Oh, we already got libs?)   Her DR was really long and she says "they make you read every single clue".  We get the silent shot of the flamingos again while Britney talks about Production and her DR with the Brigade.

Flashback from Last Night #1

and the Brigade celebrates Hayden's big POV win.  What I want to know is, where was Hayden hiding this T-shirt?  Did he just win it?  I thought he only owned that one yellow T-shirt.
They are drinking a few beers and thinking what would have happened if Britney won.  Enzo thinks he would have been gone.  Hayden considered throwing the competition, but is glad he didn't because Britney would have won.

They want to tell her about the Brigade.  Lane wants all of them to be together when they tell her.  Hayden wants to "shower up and look nice, because it's gonna be on TV".

Lane:  I'm just wearing this..

Hayden practices:  Brit, there's something we need to talk about....

Enzo, practicing too:  Britney, you're a cool ass girl, but we had something from the end of Day #1, and we made history and you were a part of it.....maybe that's why she won those 10 G's...she can take her fuckin' money and go home.  She made more than Monet, because she gets the full stipend.

They think Hayden is really popular and it sounds like both Enzo and Lane know that Hayden would win with the Jury.

Enzo:  Did you hear the crowd when you won HOH?

Hayden:  They just press the Applause button....

(talking about his win on the live show)

Lane looks worried and says he has heartburn.  He just ate some pills (Tums, I think) and is probably dreading the conversation with Brit.  (I think she's in the DR.)