Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Power Hour With Janelle

I missed the first few minutes of this show but I guess it's better late then never, huh?  When I tuned in a caller named Ann Marie who calls every single week (sometimes more than once) is calling in to point out for the thousandth time that Rachel kept comparing herself to Janelle.

She went through a big long specific story about something Ragan said and Janelle said "What?  I didn't hear anything...".  And Chelsia had to cut off Ann Marie and squash the line.  Rest assured Ann Marie has Chelsia on speed dial and will call back at her earliest opportunity.  Which will be immediately, I'm sure.

Gay guys call in all the time and say they love Janelle.  I mean, really heavy-duty ass kissers. Chelsia and Janelle both love those callers, who eventually end up asking some sort of question that doesn't sound like a stalker, but is often an ignorant head-scratcher.

Like this one: Who is the least dull person on this season?

Janelle had to ask three times what he said when he said dull.  What a stupid fucking question.  I am guessing that this guy held the line for awhile, waiting to talk,  And that's what he came up with. They didn't answer it, so he started talking about a comment that Rachel made to Ragan about a gay comment.  Really rambling, big time.

Now he asks Janelle a question she has been asked at least twice this year---what are her biggest mistakes in Season 7?  (i.e. putting up Marcellas and not putting up Mike Boogie)  Now he asks a strategic question about her Season 6 alliance.  I think Chelsia needs to put the kbosh on this caller.

Now a perky lady named Cindy calls in.   She doesn't think we've seen the last of Rachel yet.  This crazy bitch thinks that Rachel was instructed to determine who has the Diamond POV and if she could guess, she can come back in the house.

Chelsia:  Where did you come up with that?  (this came out in a really snotty tone, but then she caught herself and covered it up with something sweet)

Ha ha.  Now Cindy starts bitching about how boring this season is, and how BB had to prod them into action today so that they could play Big Brother Says.  Cindy thinks that this was done to wake up the HG.  Chelsia said that in her season BB would play music to get them out of bed. 

Chelsia tells Cindy that you aren't contractually obligated to go to the Vegas party---there is no affiliation with CBS at all.   Chelsia says the party is a Hot Mess and that Cindy should go if she can.

Janelle doesn't think that Rachel will come back in, but she wishes Rachel would come back in permanently.

Oooo ouch.  Janelle just said she didn't remember who Joshua was from BB9---she heard he made the jury and she was like, "who?"

A potential serial killer is on the phone---he first called on Monday to speak with Jordan, and threatened promised to call back to speak to Janelle.   He did ask a good question about the Diamond POV---Janelle explained that it first came up during Season 4, and than if Matt is allowed to play for HOH then Brendon should be able to as well.  Because Matt's power is just as powerful as the HOH.

The serial killer expected Chelsia to remember who he was---she didn't so he reminded her that he called on Monday to ask about Jen from her season.  Chelsia drew a blank on who Jen was (the blonde chick who entered the house with her boyfriend and kept it a secret for about 20 minutes) which was kind of funny.

Janelle has what looks like a berry smoothie with a straw that she sips on while the callers go on and on and on.

A new caller says that Britney and Ragan make her sick.  She wishes that BB would let a previous HG come in the house for a few hours,  based on America's vote.  She would love Evel Dick to come in the house---then she says...get this....she would love it for Britney and Ragan to have duct tape over their mouths when Evel Dick comes in, and then have him chew it off.

(I'm not making this up, people.)

Chelsia looks legitimately frightened.  The lady just keeps going, stream-of-consciousness-style and says she won a T-shirt the week James (Rhine) was on.  I hope that Real.com is keeping records of these calls to give to the proper authorities.


Now a woman is cackling that she can't believe she's talking to them---you can hear her chins jiggling against the phone.  This lady hates Ragan, too, because he is a professor of communication and he is much too vicious when speaking to Rachel.  Who cares if Rachel called them bitches?  Janelle calls all her gay friends bitches and Chelsia does too. 

Now this lady mentions Chelsia smashing Easter eggs on her season.  Janelle is shifting back and forth from several feet back to inches from the screen.  She's bored by now.  She says she hopes Brendon wins this season because everything is so against him doing it.

Based on the conversation they think that the BB rules will allow Brendon to play for the HOH after Matt uses the DPOV.  Janelle apologizes for "needing to Google something" and we see her typing away.  Maybe she's contacting her local sheriff for around-the-clock surveillance of her parking area.

I would.

Now some guy calls in and says he made a post on BBDish about Rachel and than everyone is now repeating his ideas all over and getting credit for it.  His post had to do with Rachel coming in to guess who won the DPOV  (which is an idiotic idea---why take credit for it?).
Something is up with Janelle's top lip and teeth.  Something odd and strange that is not as evident when she smiles.

To Win a T-shirt:  Janelle asked the fans who the first HG ever in BB4 to be able to play for the DPOV (what she looked up on Google, I think)  (Janelle's dog is barking like crazy---my dog just woke up from her post-dinner nap and ran to the window to defend our house.)

Caller #1 - Boogie.  NO
Caller #2 - Jerry  NO
Caller #3 - sounded like a crazed maniac but admits he is already a Janelle T-shirt winner
Caller #4 - wanted to talk to Janelle "for her husband" and doesn't want to answer
Caller #5 - guesses Allison, Jun, Erica and Robert --  Ding Ding this is correct.

They let the guy who won the T-shirt keep talking.  He called in to Missy's show (I'm telling you these same stalkers callers call every week.) and suggests the next season be Fans Vs. Favorites.  Janelle likes this idea because this was her favorite Survivor season.

Another guy calls in and is as embarrassed as I am to be listening to this---he tells them that he has never called before and seems proud of it.

Yet another (gay) guy calls in and calls Ragan a little bitch.  These fans don't like that Matt was just handed that power---they think he should have had to win it.  The caller wants BB to let them know someone has the power, but Janelle says that someone being blindsided will be good TV.   Kathy will be "a mess" if she is the one evicted but they know the show will be exciting..

Some guy from MN called in and I didn't care to listen to what he said, and now a guy named Jeff from New York with a heavy accent asks a question about why Brendon and Rachel's families weren't on the show.  Janelle thought the ex-fiance was really pretty and put together well, but that the whole thing was so one-sided.  Chelsia thinks it was a low blow for CBS and was ultimately unfair to Brendon.

Ha ha---the caller says that he would have taken $1,000 from BB to record the Saboteur messages.  He also feels compelled to shout out to "Room 10".  He sounds like the guy who announces the stops on the LIRR  ("Next stop Hicksville")

Chelsia punches out right on time and says good bye to all the freaks fans.

BB Jumps the Shark

by apparently giving the HG a series of commands, like a Simon Says type of deal.

We had DOTS for quite some time, and when we returned Ragan was slamming things around in the kitchen and then being a whiny crybaby about having to eat slop.  He even sloshed milk on his bed during this process.
(I don't condone violence, but when the other HG say they want to punch Ragan, I understand.)
Then he is in the BR with Matt going through the list of things they had to do, in order.  It was so stupid that I have to admit that I don't care at this point, but to give you an idea, some of the items were:

Do jumping jacks
Have a group hug
Mimic someone or something
Other stupid shit like that

I had to change cameras, but outside the conversation was much the same.  Brendon, as HOH, was told by BB to go up to his room, probably for blogging purposes.  As soon as they were alone, Enzo and Britney start putting together the evidence that Kathy is the Saboteur.
I really hate the Saboteur concept at this point, and think this ridiculous distraction is at least 60% of the reason why BB12 has become a disaster.  There, I've said it.

We have another DOTs and then Brendon comes out and takes a picture of Britney in the backyard giving a fake "Southern California" smile.
After he walks off, Britney mumbles "Oh god..."

Britney Chokes Down a Bowl of Slop

in silence, one bite at at time.

Britney Talks to the Folks Back Home

She is talking either to her mom or her friend Summer.  She misses talking to them every night on the phone and catching up on every little detail.  She misses how this person would "call and talk her off the ledge--she needs that now".
Britney:  I miss those days and hope to have them again soon.

Now she addresses her fiance Nick and gets a little weepy at this point.  She misses him like crazy and he is the one who makes it really, really hard for her in the house.  She hopes that Porter and Molly are being good little dogs.  She is going to miss the first tailgate party this season and is unhappy about that.
Britney:  I'm sure you want to kill Brendon.....he said some really horrible things to me the other day.  It is wrong for people to use you to upset me in this game.  I'm sure your mom is getting a kick out of me being here.   I hope you miss texting me all the time...I miss texting you all the time.   I hope things are picking up at work---I know you need that.  I hope your handicap is really plus one----I told everybody that and they didn't believe me.  So I hope that's right.  Are you pumped that I won the bowling challenge?  All those nights bowling came in handy, huh?  I thought about you when I did it. 

Now if I could just get this ogre out.......I hope you like all my friends in here.  I hope you like Lane--we will definitely go hang out with him in Texas sometimes.  He is so funny and he looks out for me in here. He keeps me motivated and won't let me pout too much.  I hope you like Hayden.  He is such a stand up guy--you and him are alike that way.  I think you two would get along.  I hope you like Monet---maybe you two are Facebook friends already.  I hope you like Matt.  I don't expect you two to be friends, but you would like him--he's really cool.  And Enzo....I don't know what you think about Enzo.  And Ragan....you know I love Ragan.  I don't know what you think about him but I need him to keep me sane in here.  I need somebody to talk to in here.  And Rachel....she is so gross and I hate that our season has to be defined by her.  I miss our Hamburger Helper nights, and watchin' ESPN, and going fishin'...when I get home I want to not talk about BB for at least two weeks.  But I hope you are writing me emails that we can save and look at later.  I'm sorry we didn't get to go to Mexico but I will make it up to you later.

I hope you're having fun but not too much.  I already told you about the dishwasher---don't do anything yet but hold off on the paint.  (Matt told her about portable dishwashers you can buy that she is considering which are good if you are renting.)  If you want to paint the back bedroom red, go ahead.  Don't let Porter on the couch, or on the bed.  We are getting new furniture and I don't want him on it.  Molly is smaller and she gets certain benefits.  If you are painting the bathroom please just match it to the shower curtain.

I'm sure you checked the fence for holes before you let my dogs out there---if you didn't think about that then please do think about it.  What else---renter's insurance--get it!  It's $20 a month, just get it.  I'm sorry you won't be here for my birthday.  But just because I'm not home doesn't mean that I don't get a present.   Something for the house would be fine.  The Big Two Three.  I wish they would let me get a birthday card from you.  I'm getting really good at pool.

I'm sure you don't mind that I walk around looking like crap all the time--you probably like it.  I wore your shirt the other night and Enzo said I look pregnant in it.  So that might be the end of me wearing that shirt.  (the red Hogs T-shirt)

Looks like this is the end---she just put on her Uggs. 

Britney:  Tomorrow is D-Day--hopefully I will win HOH.  I love and miss everybody. Bye you guys.

(It really might be D Day for Britney.)

Speaking of BB UK....

I rarely pay attention to the UK version of Big Brother, but apparently there has been a flood in their house, causing all nine contestants to be relocated.  See the story here at the link.

Special Bonus:  One of the contestants was "turned into a crab" this week.

WTF?

Home Life With Jordan

I am watching this week's show---I think it originally aired on Monday night.

That is Jordan's new puppy in the background.  They are discussing where Brendon might have been when he left the house.  Jordan says that if he went to buy an engagement ring she is going to die---the whole situation makes Jordan cringe and she is embarrassed for "Brandon".  (Ha ha she can't even get his name right.)

Chelsia is over the whole Rachel-Brendon thing, but thinks CBS putting his ex-girlfriend on was kind of shady--he wasn't able to respond to it or defend himself.

The first caller is a Certified Crazy who seems like she needs to be picked up and detained immediately.  She says that she watches Jeff's videos "the first thing in the morning and the last thing before she goes to bed".  Chelsia keeps laughing during this whole exchange and they hang up on her as soon as they can.

Jeff is staying "with some girl in Korea who can't even speak English".  "But he says it is awesome!"

The guy who answers the phone for them is named Eddie and now one of the callers is stalking him too, apparently.  Poor thing.

Jordan is now free to speak about visiting the BB set, since the show has aired.  She had a great time but was glad she didn't have to stay there. She said there was a lot of tension between Brendon and Rachel during the competition.

When she rang the doorbell Jeff had to help her find it. Then the door opened and her heart started pounding and she got really nervous.  Jeff was nervous, too.

A caller asks if Jordan would consider televising her wedding.  She's not engaged yet, but she would consider it if CBS gave her the ability to make all choices.  She is worried that she wouldn't be able to get what color flowers she wants, etc.  She wants a beach wedding that sounds kind of casual.  She wants to have kegs at the reception!

Jordan is eating Starbursts and is enjoying the hell out of them, apparently.

That is about all I have to say about this.  Most of the callers are the same ones who call in week after week and it sounds like these calls may be the highlight of their lives.

No judgments, just a comment.  Well, maybe a little judgment, about the crazy ones.

Flashback From Last Night - #3

And now things get a little more interesting.  The Brigade meeting breaks up and they all head off to bed, no doubt prompted by production as we just had a short DOTS break.

Enzo finds a handwritten note propped up on his pillow that reads "I KNOW YOUR SECRET".

Enzo: Yo, the Saboteur has struck!

and shows it to Hayden.


Hayden is surprised and they whisper about hit.  Enzo doesn't know what to do.  Hayden asks the same questions over and over.


Now they stand in the dark and whisper to Lane about it.

Enzo threatens to just throw it out and they all laugh.


Enzo:  What do we do...do we tell everybody?

Enzo toys with the idea of saying that he found it on the floor, rather than on his pillow.  All of the cameras are spinning around like crazy.  Check out the DOTS on the screen.


Lane wants them to tape it up on Kathy's picture on the wall.  They are cracking up.


Someone must have fallen behind the wall, or dropped something heavy.  They all turned around to stare.  Enzo is worried that Brendon might be watching them from the Spy Screen.    Enzo knows that Kathy saw the note because she asked about it, so he can't deny it happened.

They all agree that it "is a chick's handwriting".


Enzo:  We know it's not Brendon, because if he knew my secret he would put me up...it's Kathy, yo!  Or BB!

Enzo thinks they will get a Saboteur message tomorrow about this, so he knows he needs to tell the others about it.

Enzo: This was fun...it's somethin' different.  I was like, YO!

Flashback From Last Night - #2

The (full) Brigade is still meeting in the bathroom, and I think they are being kind of loud, particularly Enzo.

Enzo thinks he is underestimated and wants a quiz for the next HOH---he thinks he can win it.
Enzo:  Yo, things need to get dirty in here...
Matt:  That's one of the problems with this season...no one wants to get their hands dirty.  Everybody's sittin' back...

Now he "jokes" about them falling off the paint can, and the surfboard....I think Matt is pretty much telling them that he has been carrying them, and he doesn't plan to take the fall for them.  But that is my editorial opinion...take with a grain of salt.

Matt is pushing for them to go after Brendon, rather than Ragan.  Doesn't sound like they're buying it.

Matt: You guys do what you got to do...if you win HOH then it's your HOH...

Flashback From Last Night - #1

Actually, this occurred in the wee hours of this morning.  About 3:00 am BBT.

There is a mini-Brigade meeting going on in the bathroom with Lane, Enzo and Hayden.  Actually, we all know this is the full Brigade meeting, since they have effectively turned on Matt.  As you can see, Enzo is adopting a few of Matt's traits and habits.
The three of them are planning how they will party together after the show is over, once one of them wins. All scenarios involve being picked up in the winner's hometown airport, with a limo driver holding up a big sign that says Brigade.

Enzo will only buy them economy airplane tickets, but on the aisle.  Hayden plans to spring for first class seats.
Now Enzo is saying that their season is very special and he thinks it is very unique, for one reason they cast him on it.  (Little does Enzo know the real fans don't like this season at all.)
They are being very loud in there, even though they are whispering.  Joking about how Enzo sucked in the ropes competition, how Lane was in the hammock with Ragan today.

Oh, turns out Matt was in the WC the whole time.
Matt just walked down to the kitchen and back, and when he came back he had a certain look on his face, like maybe he hates one or more of the Brigade.  (Maybe I'm just imagining things though.)

Enzo, to Lane and Matt: Are we all still friends after this?

Matt:  Are we?

Enzo:  Are we still friends after this?

Matt:  What do you think it means?

They start talking about Kathy but the tension is there.  I think Matt hates Enzo now--there I've said it.  They hope Ragan wins HOH next week so he can take Brendon out---at least that is what they are saying.